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Carol's Blog for 2012

 Be who you are and say what you feel...Because those that matter... don't mind...And those that mind... don't matter."

The views and opinions expressed in this blog are the personal views of Carol and are not necessarily intended to reflect the views of the
Ozark Dogs Rescue Organization.

FYI: LGD=Livestock Guardian Dog, Pyr = Great Pyrenees, OES=Old English Sheepdog,  ASD=Anatolian Shepherd Dog, GSD= German Shepherd Dog, AC or ACO=Animal Control (officer) or Air Conditioner (as appropriate to make sense), HV=Home Visit. HW=Heartworm,  HS=Humane Society, HC = Health Certificate, Doxy=Doxycycline (a medication)

Things I have not been able to talk about before.  Catching up in a few sentences:  click for Penny's story.  That's the good news.  More good news:  Ash and Ashina both made it to their respective adoptive homes in Colorado.  Ashina has settled in great.  Ash is having some anxiety but they are determined people to work through it.  Custard has been adopted by his foster up in the North East.  Shela probably has a forever home by now.  She was doing a meet and greet a few days ago.  On the not so good:  Emily and Mercy are having issues.  Emily is still afraid of men.  Mercy has decided she wants to be an only child.  Bach has a few health issues. 
    Petunia will go to her forever home Saturday.  Candy and Tina and the granddaughters are bringing her down Friday night. 
    I figured out what is causing Hanna's tremors.  Ivermectin.  I have an appointment next week to x-ray the heart and see if we need to go the immiticide route for the heartworms.  I can't do anymore Ivermectin.  She is just so fragile.  The hip is getting worse and I feel she is going to have to have it replaced or be in constant pain. 
    I forgot to unload Lorens hospital style food table.  It's cold and dark now.  Guess it can wait until morning.  Snow is almost melted.  Sahara gave up telling me to go to bed.  Plumber came this morning and unstopped the spare bathtub drain.  You'll never guess what it was full of :-)   No dog baths in the tub.  Stick with the shop.
12/25/12:  Loren got up to eat breakfast and is back to bed.  We went to Home Depot yesterday and picked him out a small refrigerator for the bedroom.  I tried to find me some shoes. Going to a second store wore him out.  He stayed in the car at my second and third shoe store stop.  No luck.  I have short, fat feet.  A men's size 5 XWide would be perfect except they don't make such things.  Anyway, I just finished putting ice, juice, water and 7-up in the fridge.  I'm going to go down to the shop and take Goofy and do some sewing.  We don't do presents, no family here, Loren is never hungry so no meal to cook.  I've got carpets that need steam cleaned but if the weather forecast is correct it's going to have freezing rain and snow this afternoon.  Pointless as the dogs will just be tracking in.  I do need to run a phone line into Lorens bedroom.  There has always been one there but it has never worked.  8:30 a.m. and I feel like the day is slipping away.  So dark and gloomy outside.
12/20/12:  Sun's not up but wind sure is.  Must be 60 mph.  I had my igloos out to be pressure washed today.  I hope they did not take flight.  I had 3 crates broke down and stacked inside each other.  I am sure they did fly away.  I know I will see downed trees and missing stuff when it is light enough to see.  This is a terrible storm.  Rain earlier.  Buckets.  I don't think the weather report quite expressed the magnitude.  Thanks God none of the dogs here are in it.  I just think of the ones at Innocent Hearts.  I know they started putting up the carport.  I sure hope they staked it down before putting the roof on or it will be a total wreck and take flight to who knows where.  It just makes me sick to think about all the dogs that are tied out in this with no safe and sheltered place to go.  We don't have but a few homeless people around here.  Most are in the shelters groups provide.  We are all warm and the dogs are all snuggled on their mattresses.  I wish I could help everyone in need.  To be rich, you have to walk on some to get there.  Soapbox time.... How many people had to be screwed over for Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Mit Romney, etc to become rich enough to "give back", set up foundations, become benefactors to the needy?  Ironic, isn't it?  Are the ones they stepped on, to get where they are, benefiting from their "generosity"?  Bet not.  I would rather be the widow giving her last penny then the king giving a million. 
     Made grooming appointments for Zelda and Sahara but unless this wind quite by 10 a.m., I'm canceling.  I'm not driving out in this.  I'll just sit on the floor and brush some more.  Bath can come later.  Glad I picked up some grocery necessities Tuesday.  I'll put in a roast for lunch.  Had a yesterday's cinnamon roll at 4 a.m. 
     I feel bad if Dan can't work today.  He is a new fella I hired to clean up the dog yards and just general clean up around the property.  We still had so much that Micah was going to do before he just vanished.  Dan is certainly worth his pay.  Such a hard worker.  He can't get a regular job because he can only work a few hours a day in the morning.  He has turrets syndrome and seizures.  Especially if he gets stressed.  A nicer, more honest and hard worker, you would not find anywhere.  He lives a mile away and walks here and back.   He is trying to save enough to get an old vehicle for transportation.  He does have a license.  I assume it is restrictive. 
    Loren went to the radiologist yesterday.  I wish doctors would be on the same page.  After what the radiologist said which was in conflict with what the oncologist said, we both felt treatments would be a waste of time.  I've had a lot of people offer advise or personal stories and under Lorens circumstance it has to be quality, not quantity.  Why subject yourself to misery to live longer in misery?  We don't (or shouldn't) do that to our beloved dogs.  But we are often forced into that position for out beloved humans.  Nope, I want to cherish every moment God gives, not what some doctor who has his or her sights on a Hawaiian vacation.

From my 12/18 Facebook post: After receiving a nasty email from one person I reached out to another in the same group.  I got a very nice and informative response to my previously "they are all fine" response.  I knew they were NOT "All fine" because of a "Lost" posting.  Why is it so hard to just be honest.  To take a few minutes to be polite?  If the first person had just had a little compassion and sensitivity, I would not have spent 3 days crying and a total basket case.  One person can hurt the reputation of a whole group and that is sad. I almost changed my mind on sending Ash and Ashina to a different rescue just because I felt so betrayed by the one who took the others. 
     All rescues and shelter rescuers should all work together.  We are not individual secret societies, or certainly should not be.  We are in it to help the animals.  But is doing so, we need to keep in mind that we can not do it alone.  We need other people.  This is not a "I took the dog off you hands, now shut up and go away" type thing.  This is not the way we should treat other people who loved that animal, be it a volunteer who pulls from a kill shelter and finds a rescue for it an individual who has to give up their pet because of circumstances or one rescue passing off dogs to another.  We don't need to break human hearts in order to save a dog.  Be honest.  If we need to grieve a loss, then let us make that decision.  If we can rejoice, then give us that opportunity too.  If we didn't want to be involved in their future, we would not be rescuing them in the first place.

Now for a yesterday  recap: 

12/15/12  Barely:  Still not able to sleep without a melatonin.  Then I'm up in a few hours wide awake and miserable.  Only word I got on 6 of the 7 was "All fine.  Not a single issue with anyone."  I'm not a pessimist, but I need more.  I love these dogs.  Hopefully some real updates today.   Where they are and if Emily and Custard are together.  This is a part of my life that is ending.  For me to be ok, I need to know it is a new happy beginning for those that I have to let go.  I trust Jean or I would not have entrusted these fur babies to her.  But with all the confusion that arose when she was not able to oversee it all...I just need reassurance that nothing else has gone wrong.  
    Plan to pick up 3 camper shells and 2 dog houses donated for shelter for Innocent Hearts puppies.  Debbie is a real go-getter and is overcoming the red tape that got me stuck when seeking donations and grants.  I found these shells and houses, but they will just be temporary.  From the sounds of things, it should not take Debby long to get enough to start building.
    Monday Loren and I will go to Springfield and hand Ashina off to go to KC to transport.  He is pushing himself and I am pushing him.  We need that.  I am done being miserable worrying about him.  He is going to take pain pills and we are going to do everything we can like nothing is wrong.  We could both be run over by the school bus that goes by 10 times a week but we don't dwell on that. 
12/14/12:  Went to bed early.  I was exhausted from crying, sobbing, wailing.  I hurt in my gut as well as my heart. I got up at 9:30 p.m. even though I didn't have Emily to close in.   Took another pill. Went back to sleep off and on.  There was still barking.  When one barker leaves, another will take over the job.  I was awake again at 4:30 even though I did not have Emily and Custard to let out.  A habit I will never break.  My heart is still breaking.  I should have somehow managed to keep them.  Them leaving did not solve any problems because I have never slept more the 2 hour naps on and off all night.  Winter was not an issue with them (except going out in freezing weather at night).  Zelda is in the shop now.  All these seven leaving has made my guys totally insecure.  Although Thomas, Penny and Shela annoyed them, they still miss them being here.   Bach missing from the garage.  They know.  Emily and Custard missing from the shop.  They know.  They are barely over the loss of Bear.  They don't know he died.  Just that he is gone.  I know they think they are next to go to an unknown fate.  I will never get over this.  One at a time, but 7 all at once.  I will never, ever.....
12/13/12:  Taken from my Facebook post:
     My family of fur babies left about 4:30. If they had given the driver the right location, he would have been here about 11:30 this morning. I have not stopped sobbing. Way beyond crying. They all looked so confused. Especially Thomas, Emily and Custard. I wanted to just say, never mind, Emily and Custard are staying here. But I knew I couldn't. Those faces, so scared and confused. In those crates way to small for the big guys to move round in. I gave him one so Bach would fit. Poor Thomas could not even turn around or lay down. There was just no room to trade out that crate. Emily and Custard were so scared. I just wanted to say "leave them, they are staying" but Emily barks 24/7 if I am not in the shop with them. Loren can't rest. Neither could I. Every where I look something reminds me of one of them. The blanket beside the bed, the slime on the wall, all Thomas memories. I picked up my shoes after taking them off. I don't need to do that. Penny is not here to run off with them. There will be no more stuffing all over the floor from the stuffy toys she loves tearing up. I could have left my dirty socks on the floor. Shela is not here to steal them. I changed my sheets. I have not slept in that bed since I changed them last. It was Shela's special place. Even the short time Bach was here, I am so sad over him leaving. Goofy will have his garage back. Only he won't need it. It was his escape place from Shela and Penny. When I went to feed Ash and Ashina, I headed for the shop to pick up Emily and Custards bowls. Bowls that were not there because Emily and Custard were not there. I cleaned the shop today. Their blankets were in the washer and dryer. I cried some more. I never got emotionally close to Mercy but I still miss her.
     They are all going to be so hungry. When I was told he would be here in the morning, I barely fed them any breakfast. I just hope they get fed tonight because I know they won't in the morning. They also told him all the dogs would be going on transport to the north east. I said absolutely not. If I find out Emily and Custard are sent up there. I will raise hell. We had an agreement. So anyway, he separated their papers.
    My life has reached the cliff and the ledge is slipping out from under my feet. No amount of hugging the rest is going to take away this pain.
12/11/12:  BFDR is still working on transportation.  Dragging things out is just so hard.  I know how tough it is to 'make things happen'.  I've certainly had my share of trying to put things together and not being able to get people to follow through.  The heartache of having to say "no" is unbearable.  Got a call last night.  A 4 year old male Pyr will be shot today if he has no where to go.  They neighbor is going to shoot it.  If you don't live in Arkansas, you probably think "they can't do that".  Well, it happens all the time.  It happened to that Anatolian last year that I spent about 7 hours trying to catch.  The Anatolian was on his own property and the neighbor shot him.  Why?  Because the Anatolian was chasing the neighbors dogs back home because they were a threat to the Anatolians goat. 
    There is just too much heartbreak in rescue.  There is no scale of live vs die that makes you feel ok.  Just one life lost to ignorance or cruelty is too many.  A thousand saved does not wash away that memory of the one that wasn't.  The many that aren't. 
    Shela is happy to be home.  She is on her best behavior as if to say "let me stay".  I wish I could.  I have no problem with her.  Why have so many others had to return her???  She has come back from 4 different people. 
    I wish I could just say, "OK, they are all staying until the right adopter comes along".  Sending them to other rescues, any to any, is literally making me sick to my stomach.  It seems no one works as hard as I do on checking people out.  A fault I carry alone, but a good fault.  Any rescue ever turned down 32 people for one dog?  I have.  I'd say my turn down rate is 75%.  I don't mind having people say things like "If you get a dog from Carol, you must be a great dog person.  She makes you jump through hoops".  Explanation on Shela and 4 returns.  Two were fosters.  One adopter was once a rescue.  This last person,  well, I just am drowning right now and doing the best I can under the circumstances.  I don't have the time... the future... that is so often required to get the perfect match. 
    Sun will be up soon.  Emily was good all night but started making up for it at 3:30 a.m. and has not stopped.  She reminds me why she needs to go.  Yet she is barking because she wants me to be with her. 
12/10/12:  Today is not starting off well.  Shela is coming back.  Wanda and Petunia are most likely coming back.  I have heard nothing from BFDR since Thursday.  Someone was suppose to contact me on the time they would be here today to pick up Emily, Custard, Mercy, Thomas, Bach and Penny.  The CO group does not have a home for Ashina after all.   And I gave a whole yard away to Innocent Hearts.   Carport, over 100 feet of fencing, 3 igloos and 2 elevated platforms.  Will take about $1500 to replace.   Even if I had money, the carport would take 4 to 6 weeks from order.  I am like so totally screwed. 
      Bach's eyes are really bad.  I can't wait for someone else to get around to taking care of them.  I've got an appointment at 11:40.  It looks to me like a blockage of his sinuses like Parker had.  Also, I've got to re-name him.  That is a horrible name. 
      I am in such turmoil.  I just have to believe that the doggie Gods are looking after these guys and what is right will be. 
      To top it off, it is freezing.  Ice on the water and a sprinkling of snow this morning. 
12/8/12:  Guess I need to put an update on everything going on.  My brain processes it, but it does not seem to get to my fingers.   Big Fluffy Dog out of Nashville is taking Emily, Custard, Mercy, Thomas, Bach (I'll tell you who he is in a minute) and possibly Penny.  I got a HC for Ash just in case.  I had planned for Ash and Ashina to go to rescue/ adoptive home in Colorado but not sure on that right now.  That leave me with the 7 "Sanctuary dogs", Fez, Goofy, Sahara, Zelda, Sweetness, Chipi and Hanna.  Plus our dog Sissy.  Fez is Lorens guardian.  Goofy is just Goofy.  Sahara and Chipi will never be social.  They are caught between companion and guardian.  They will have been here 5 years this Christmas.  No one every wanted a black lab (Sweetness) and she has been here 7 years.  Zelda has been here 6.  She is a grumpy old lady and gets grumpier each day.  Hanna has just been here off and on for about 2 years, but she has so many health issues no one would take them on. 
    Bach just arrived.  I was getting a female, but got a male instead.  He killed 3 baby goats in a day.  He guarded the chickens, geese and ducks.  He's 100 pound train wreck, but BFD said they will take him and get his eyes checked and what ever he needs.  That is a relief.
    Petunia is in a foster home.  Hopefully she will get adopted.  A Pyr/ Golden mix may get to go from Innocent Hearts to a foster home soon.  I'm trying to arrange that. 
    The 2 old labs that the old lady had to leave behind got adopted by their foster as did Maxwell.  Arlo (now known as Harry) went to Candy's permanently and Wanda (now Sweetie Belle) got adopted by one of our fosters.
    As for today, Emily and Custard are at the groomers getting nice for their new foster home in Nashville through BFD.  I need to go out and start working on Bach's burrs and mats.  It is going to be a long day.

12/7/12:  Kept busy from 4 a.m. and on.  It's 5:30 p.m. and I'm ready to crash.  Took down one of the carports and fencing and donated it and some igloos to Innocent Hearts.   They came up and picked it all up and are thrilled.  At least a whole lot of puppies will now have shelter from this coming rain.  Now they just need buildings with insulation and heat for the freezing winter.  Hopefully a lot will be adopted and the flow will slow.  Do check out their pix linked off my adoption page.
    While they were here I told the one guy to go down and meet the monster dogs (Emily and Custard).  To my amazement, they did not go ballistic.  This makes me feel better about them leaving.  There is hope for them!!!    
     Had to get HC for the dogs.  Ended up with "Bach".  Things got confusing at the vet.  I forgot to tell Loren only to talk to Sharon.  She knew what was going on.  Anyway, Bach is a real mess.  I don't know how I can send him.  I just can't put a money pit off on another rescue.  And he is covered in burrs.  It is going to take a full day plus just picking burrs to salvage his coat.  Last dog this bad was...  Well, Winston was the worst ever, but aside from him, this guy is really a mess. 
    This is so tough.  I just had to stay busy.  Every time I stopped to take a breath, tears welled up. 
12/6/12:  The dogs will be leaving Monday.  I have tried to feel better by taking on someone elses problems.  It works for a few minutes.  I just went down and let Emily and Custard out (5 a.m.) and Custard rolls over on his back for a belly rub before he will go out and potty.  He grins up at me with that toothy grin and I just choke up inside.  I am so scared for them. Adjusting to being here was hard.  Adjusting to a foster home is going to be hard.  Then adjusting to a forever home will be hard.  Please folks, circumstances may make you give up your beloved pet.  Get them out in the world, to Petco and the park and interact with other dogs and other people.  Take them to family gatherings.  Take them for walks around other streets besides your own.  Let them taste the world.  They may be thrown into it.  They need a chance to survive it.  It is no different then raising children.  Keep them beside you every minute and when they grow up they will be terrified to go out in the world alone.... So my heart is breaking for what these 2 precious dogs are facing.   The other dogs that are leaving will adjust quickly.  They have had too much 'world' to let anything get them down.  Tossed out, abandoned, tied to a tree, starved, shot, shooed away, kicked.  They learned survival.  Emily and Custard... it's just not the case.  I've seen this with Heidi and Lady, 2 GSD that were owner died situations.  Years later and I hear from their adopters that they have still not come out of their hiding places willingly.  With Big Dog that had to be given up and his lack of outside socialization became a death sentence for him.  I am so scared.  I told BFDR that if they bite, they have to come back to me.  Putting them down is not an option.  They are such sweet affectionate dogs, just scared of the unknown. 
     The other dogs that are leaving to go to BFDR are Mercy, Thomas, Penny and a new Pyr without a name yet.  She was thrown off the back of a flat bed truck into the road and they drove off.  Someone witnessed it and through a series of calls, if I don't take her, she will be euthanized.   BFDR said they will take her, sight unseen.  I will get a pix today and then either she will be brought to me or I'll have to go get her.  She is in Mountain View where we just were yesterday. 
      Shela went to a potential adopter.  I really hope it works and if not that I know this weekend and get her back.   I am just not sure she will fulfill the need she is intended for.   She had a place with BFDR but this adopter is close.  I am just not up to decision making anymore.  I feel like no matter how hard I try, I will make a mistake. 
     Rescues helping Rescues.  That is also a part of what we do.  BFDR and Mountain Pet in CO. are helping me be able to close and take care of Loren.  I'm helping a new rescue in Mountain View called Innocent Hearts Animal Rescue.  I took some surplus supplies out to them and took 249 photos of their close to 200 dogs!!!  Two ladies in my age bracket caring for all these dumped dogs.  I think she said 48 are tiny puppies.  I remember taking pix of about 20 that were less then 2 weeks old.  They have everything from miniature Chihuahuas to purebred Huskies and a Saint mix and a Pyr mix and a Dane mix.  Hoarder rescues, puppy mill rescues, abandoned rescues.  What resources they have goes mostly for dog food.  The resource.. their personal credit card.   I understand... but nothing to the magnitude they are at. 
    Now that I have seen their need, I will be giving them the Ozark Dogs fencing, carport, igloo dog houses and some crates.  I will still have 7 'sanctuary' dogs here (plus Sissy) so the bank account won't be available.  These are the things that will not be of use to Ozark Dogs and the new direction I am taking (getting dogs into homes of those who could otherwise not afford one). 
     I think we are going to West Plains today if we do not go to Mountain View.  Opposite directions, each over an hour drive.  Loren needs a golf cart to get around the property. It will give him more independence.  If he was able to lift his leg and press the hard clutch and gas peddle, he would use the lawnmower.  He is not strong enough.  Besides the noise brings over the neighbor dog.  Anyway, they have 4 dealers there and none here.  We have been looking for used but only find old electric.  They take 6 batteries at $125 each so no matter how cheap the cart, would not be long before we'd be adding $750. 
    Will be light soon. 
12/1/12:  Almost tomorrow...  But recap of today.  Guess Micah quit... if not, he is fired.  Didn't show up Wed. or Friday.  That really left a lot of work for me.  The dogs were confused not getting a walk.  Weather has been beautiful, but I just didn't have the time nor energy after doing everything myself. 
    Loren managed to dump the leaf machine.  Something we thought Micah had done.  That really was hard on him.  He set in the shop and I took Ash in to keep him company.  I raked leaves for about 2 hours and burned them.  While they were burning, I set with Ashina and Mercy.  It is easy with just 2, one for each hand.  So all 3 down there got lots of attention today.  Mercy can be really good with attention.  She is just so starved for it that when I feed, she is just hyper to see me.  They are all such good dogs.
    I was done around noon so we went to the house.  Loren went to bed.  I dozed at the computer so decided to take a nap too.  Laying on the loveseat proved to be useless for sleep.  Too many kisses and wanting to share that small amount of space.  I grabbed a pillow and a huge comforter I had just taken out of the dryer and headed down to the shop.  Made a bed on the floor and got more kisses.  Emily and Custard are so good.  They were so happy to see me.  I petted them for about half an hour and then tried to sleep.  Emily went outside and Custard went to his bed and just watched me.  I think I must have slept some.  When I got up, I sewed a few more covers.  Before I knew it, it was 4:00  
    Feeding went a little better then it has been the past few days.  I do not understand why all of a sudden no one seems to know where to go.  Adding Shela and putting her outside the door with Penny has not altered anyones eating location.  But for some reason, they all seem to be confused.  All except Zelda and Goofy.  When I pick up a bowl, each is sure that must be theirs.  I guess they can count.  Adding Shela did throw the count off although not the order.   Mornings are frustrating because there are so many pills.  Loren has gotten up to help ad it really does help.  He has been doing the pills for a long time so when he can't help, it adds to the stress.
     I don't know when the dogs are leaving.  I am really struggling.  Jean said they will let me know who adopts the dogs.  I just need to always know they are ok.  I'm particularly worried about Custard and Emily because they have no 'worldly' experiences.  I know they will bite if frightened.  I know they will bite if forced into a crate on transport.  I'm just so scared for them.  The others are troopers and will do fine.  I am just so disappointed that the one person who was going to help me keep going with bailed on me.  These dogs would not be having to go to another rescue if .... I'm not only losing Loren, I'm losing the thing I love doing and I'm losing the decision making in getting the dogs forever homes.  I know them and I know in what family dynamic they will do best.  I feel so helpless.  I can't fix Loren, no one can.  I can't find homes for the dogs so someone else will.  I feel like... well, people said "Great, you found a place for the dogs" but that is NOT a good thing.  "Place" is not a forever home.  That would be 'good'.  Transfer to another rescue is like turning your children over to DHS. 
     It is tomorrow.  Emily was really quiet until 11:30.  I think it was all the time I spent with them today.  That is what they need, attention.  Not even attention, just a presence.  That is why I'm up.  That and having Shela continually squeeze between me and Loren and practically shove me off the bed.  So anyway, I'm on my way back to bed, just not sure where there might be a place for me.  Last I looked, Penny and Shela were with Loren.  It's only a queen size.  Sweetness, and Sissy were spread out on mine.  Once I wiggle in there, Hanna will come up. Shela will realize I'm in my room and abandon Loren to lay on my head. 
11/29/12:  A lot has been going on.  Jean with Big Fluffy Dog Rescue came forward to take most of the dogs.  They are a great group and I am thrilled.  However, it just dawned on my last night that the dogs would be going into foster up in the North East.  That is not an issue at all for Mercy and Shela, or would it be for Ash and Ashina and Penny, but it would be a death sentence for Emily and Custard.  They would bite.  No way is a stranger in such a stressful situation going to get them in a crate.  Even with a muzzle, it would take months for them to get over the trauma.  They are not emotionally secure enough for that much all at once.  I really really want them to have a place to go, but have to put their lives first.  I am really hoping they can find a foster in Nashville or that area so they can get more secure with people before putting that much stress on them.  Commercial transport is stressful enough for an emotionally stable dog, but for ones that are not, it can create disaster.  They may already have an adopter for Thomas.  As old as he is, commercial transport for him worries me also.  He gets nervous even if I change the feeding order.
    A Colorado rescue contacted me about a potential adopter for Ashina.  After what I went through with "Life is Better" and what Dianne Ries is going through with Royal Rescue, I plan to be very cautious.  Big Dogs Huge Paws is fantastic and I would not hesitate a minute to send a dog to them.  But I just don't feel comfortable with Colorado groups I don't know.  Or a group anywhere that I don't know. 
    Shela is back.  She will be going to BFDR.  She was happy to be back and settled right in.  No problems.  A little snarky, but that is just a smaller dog trying to act like a big dog since she is surrounded by dogs 2, 3 and almost 4 times her size.  She has attached herself to me.  Slept on one side of me while Hanna slept on the other.  Shela did try to squeeze between but she moved when she realized it was not going to happen. 
     Altercation broke out this morning with Goofy, Fez and Zelda.  I already had Penny, Shela, Sweetness and Chipi out with their food.  I don't know why it happened.  We do this same routine every morning and every night so there should be no confusion where they are to eat or in what order they are served.  I did pull out some left over pork loin that had quite a smell  (not bad, good).  That was probably it.  Usually a special treat in their food does not smell this good. 
     Loren goes to the doctor this morning at 10.  If his PSA is not down he will be sent to another doctor.  No clue where.  His level dropped for several months and then skyrocketed the past 3 months, doubling each time.  Last month it was 46.  It is suppose to be zero.  I am so stressed and I just can't keep it under wraps.  The dogs know.  I could hide it from people, but not my furkids.  
   Evening:  The day went down hill fast.  Lorens PSA was 134.  I didn't know they could go that high.  His blood pressure was 220 over something.  She took it 4 times to be sure.  Last time she used a little wrist thing and to read a little lower.  He is scheduled for another local doctor on the 10th but it would be Chemo, etc. and all that would do is make him sicker and not stop or cure, just prolong.  I say just take a lot of pain pills and live as full a life as you have left. 
    So I took Loren home and he went to bed.  I went to get the paper from the doctor so we can get a handicap parking tag.  Well, Arkansas requires the person to come in person and sign some papers.  Makes no sense.  So that trip was a waste.   Then went to Wal-mart to get the prescription.  They didn't have it in the system.  They would call the doctor.  I got groceries and stood in line forever.  Took them to hte car.  Figured it would be ready.  After all I was in there over an hour and a half.  Why so long, you ask?  Because they forgot to ring off my "free" coupons for the soda pop.  $4.38.  Then you stand there and wait for a manager to come 'fix it'.  So anyway, I go back over to the pharmacy.  They don't have it in the system.  Then they tell me it can't be called in.  That i have to go back to the Dr. office and get it in writing.  Well, the OJ was getting warm as was the cottage cheese.  I didn't have time to go all the way back across town in the opposite direction.  When I got home, I called the DR.  They had called it in 3 hours earlier and yes, it can be called in.  I called Wal-mart.  No, they didn't have it.  I was livid.  I called the Dr. back.  Anyway, when I called Wal-mart back all of a sudden they had it!  I had to drive all the way back to town.
    Loren had several pills left so he had taken one and was feeling pretty decent so he rode along.  We got the handicapped hanger and the prescription and a remote control for the ceiling fan.  He goes through hot and cold spells all night long so that will help being able to adjust the fan and not have to get up. 
    Dogs were all over me when we got back because it was past feeding time.  It will be so much easier with the 4 gone that are going either this weekend or next.  I will miss them terribly but I just need less dogs and more time to attend to Loren.
 11/25/12:  Barking.  Worn out.  Sick all night.  Running to the bathroom.  Still going on this morning to the point of being weak.  Ate a yesterday donut and hot chocolate.  Not the best for an upset tummy but only thing I was up to having.  I don't know what to do about Emily barking.  Bark collar does not phase her.  Deer must be on the front lawn.  All he dogs are barking.  It's dawn.  A brief break in the bathroom run.   
   8:30a.m.:  Got the dogs all fed and ivermectin done.  A few days early but will just move it up on the calendar.  I felt I had the energy so better do it while I could.  Only 3 interruptions in the process.  My stomach is still fighting a battle with my intestines.   That was 2 of the interruptions.  The other was when I fed Mercy and didn't see the poop pile.  IF I feel better later, I need to go poop scoop.  I did that yesterday.  There was so much, I think Micah may have forgot or gotten lazy and only done part. He's a good kid but needs to be self motivated.  
    I'm not getting dressed.  Staying in my sweats.   At least for awhile.  If I feel better, I'll get dressed.  I do need to get to Home Depot and get some more screws for the doggie doors.  Also some deck boards.  We have 3 that warped up and are dangerous.  I got the doggie doors all cleaned and flattened.  Two, anyway.  The third is on the counter under 40 pounds of dog food pressing it down.  Ran it under really hot water for about 15 minutes and then put it on a towel on the counter and plunked food on top to flatten it.  It worked pretty good for the others.  Takes about 2 days.  Not perfect, but much better and save $90 each over buying new.  I have a spare so no hole is left open.  This one will become the spare. 
    I am so torn over Emily and Custard.  they are really good dogs.  They just need a person.  Emily will not stop barking if I am not down there.  They both are so great when I am.  They don't pester.  They just want me near.  They had their person with them almost 24/7 so being alone is all new to them.  Being in a new place is a new experience.  Growing up from 10 week old puppies for 6 years in the same place with the same people and now moved.  They are just so confused and uncertain.  If I was stronger, I would take one to the park or pet store.  I'm just not strong enough if they panic.  Maybe Monday Micah and I together will take one at a time and go somewhere for them to experience life outside their domain. 
    Evening:  Things have slid down hill fast.  Shela is coming back.  Somehow there was a misunderstanding with Ash so he has no options.  I am losing my mind.  I have no where to put dogs.  My stress is transferring to them and I can't help it.  Thomas started trouble with Zelda.  Not that she doesn't deserves a taste of what she does to others, but I can't have another dog stirring things up.  Right now Penny and Thomas are on Bears side.  They have a love-hate relationship.  It's only 4:14 and Emily is already started barking.  I can trust Ash in the shop and possibly Ashina, but I know I can't trust Mercy.  That leaves me with no choice but for each to stay were they are and me going up and down the hill over and over again to keep Emily quiet.  Shela and Penny will freeze in the yard behind the house.  There is only 2 igloos and cover.  No heat.  Shela would get destructive in Bears room.  She destroyed a mattress last time.  Fence fighting would be uncontrollable if I move Mercy, Ash and Ashina to Bears side.  I tried Mercy up here earlier and we never even got to the garage yard for introductions.  Ash and Ashina would be fine, but then Mercy and Penny do not get along.  That was evident from the first 10 seconds after I got home with Mercy.  Ashina barks all night but the lower yard is far enough away that it does not keep Loren awake.  Therefore, I can't put Ashina and Mercy behind the house.  If she didn't bark, I could put Penny and Shela with Ash so they'd have heat.  Mercy and Ashina have heavy coats. 
    Penny and Thomas are raising hell being on the 'other side.'    I'm sure Penny will get into trouble if I don't open the door and let them over here.  If I didn't have Loren to take care of, I'd load up 5 and vanish with them and not look back.  I just can't do this anymore and there is no way out.  
11/24/12:  I did a thorough cleaning today.  Started at 3:30 a.m.  It's now 10:49 and I'm taking a break.  Just got little stuff to do.  I may not get it done.  This is the first big cleaning I have done in a month.  The first since Bear died.  I did pretty good until I got to his room.  It is sort of like going through a dead child's room and everything has a memory.  I had not cleaned in there hardly at all.  Just swept out leaves and a little dirt.  No one really uses it unless forced to.  I washed his favorite mattress cover.  The blue and tan stripe he was on in most of his pictures.  I was going to fold it and put it up with his other things; collar, bowl, but his ashes are still on the counter.  I can't bring myself to put them in the drawer.   He should have been buried on his hill.  The other dogs should have been let to say good bye.  But that never occurred to me.  Anyway, his cover went back on his favorite mattress.  I had brought some new ones up from the shop for the livingroom and family room.  Made another trip down to pick out 2 for the other mattresses in Bears room.  I picked out the seashell and the royal blue and beige floral stripe.  He would have liked that one.  Blue was his color.  I put it on the day bed.  That was his second choice of where to lay.  It was where he could watch me in the kitchen.  I had cut locks of his hair but as I swept behind the crate he liked to lay in, I wondered if some of the hair I was sweeping out was his.  For a brief moment I felt like saving it.  I miss his bark.  Woof, woof squeak.  It was annoying, but I always knew it was him, up on his hill, doing his job, keeping away predators.   I don't know why today... Grief just all stored up and is just bursting out. 
11/23/12:  Hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving.  Seems many of the people I communicate with were having dinner with the dogs and maybe a spouse.  Families are so spread out anymore.
     Friends and adopters have come to the call and I was able to pay the vet and buy a weeks worth of dog food.  Hopefully the mail will yield more this coming week so I can get more food and cover the vet bills to come when I take Thomas in for his ears.  They are not responding to Zymox and it has been about 2 weeks.  They should have been cleared up by now. 
     We had rain last night.  Not much, but just enough that the plan to pick up leaves and burn them is out for the day.  It was a pain rain.  Not enough to make Emily stay in so she barked.  I had to go down to close her in at 12:40 a.m.  Of course she was wet so had to be dried off.  Hard to go back to sleep after that much activity.  Then Sahara decided she needed to take over the bark.  By then I was back in bed and trapped.  Sissy crosswise with her butt in my chest.  Hanna lengthwise smashed up against my back as tight as she could get.  Sweetness at the foot on Sissy's side restricting my legs going forward and Penny curled up on the other side of my legs.  I actually did sleep for a few hours.  They did move at some point so I'm not too stiff this morning.  Making room for myself is a hard decision.  Who do I make move?
     My heart is breaking for the 5 not in the house.  They have got to find homes where they can be part of a family, be it foster or adoptive.  I hate that they won't all work in the house.  I could bring the girls, but that would leave Ash and Custard in their separate areas all alone.  That would be unbearable for them.  If they can't have a human, they at least need a friend.   At least the 5 have a 'house' with heat to go in.
11/19/12:  Lacy came Saturday to visit over Thanksgiving.  She is such a joy and so diplomatic.  When Betty brought her, Penny showed her mean side so I had to put her in time out before Lacy could even get in the door.  I brought Penny back up before dark.  Lacy went right over to her as if to say "I forgive you. Let's be friends".  They have been playing every since.  Lacy is so amazing.  She just has such a serine, calming aire about her.  Too bad people can't be just like her.
    Micah didn't show up today.  His cell was not operational.  I don't know what could have happened.  It messed me up.  I started early steam cleaning the carpet in the shop.  It was hard getting the cleaner down there but I didn't want to wait until 8 when I thought Micah could carry it for me.  Anyway, I finally finished about 9:30 realizing he was not going to show up.  That left water and poop scooping for me in the rain after I was already aching from 2 hours of cleaning.  Dogs didn't get walked.  I could have as the rain was just light most of the time, but no energy.  I feel bad for them. 
    Yesterday I steam cleaned in the house.  Got the bedroom rugs done but ran out of energy for the family room and living room.  Next week.  I think I once made the observation, "the surest way to get it to rain is not to wash your car but steam clean carpets when you have a house full of dogs." 
     Got Loren out of bed at noon to go with me for some lunch.  He was back in bed by 2.  I wish there was some magic pill. 
11/17/12: Trip to LR was exhausting.  We did stop in and visit Parker on our way home.  It was great to see him.  He looks happy and healthy.  Anyway, Loren spent all but a few hours yesterday in bed.  It just wore him out.  I've got to start the process to get a handicap plate for the car.  He can barely get into a store and back.  The VA benefits could take 2 years.  Our government at work.  I need the money now to have someone take care of things that I normally do so I can spend the time needed to tend to him.  It is quickly becoming to that point.  I don't want to face this.  He has taken such good care of me for 13 years.  He has been a wonderful husband and friend.  I want to do for him the way I know he would do for me if the situation was reversed. I don't want to be without him.  And I am scared.  We have no money left to take care of the dogs.  I wipe out my personal account every month.  This month we cashed in our change we save but still short of paying the vet. 
     I have got to get Emily and Custard moved.  She barks when outside.  They would be perfect as inside dogs.  They have never had an accident, even when I have had them closed in for 13 hours once.  One is sick right now, throwing up.  But they can't help that.  I just don't know which one.  Will have to board one over night to figure it out.
     Mercy went in to be spayed yesterday.  Will pick her up this morning.  Dogs are just not being adopted.  Everyone I talk to says dog are being dumped at a higher rate every month and just in the week since the election it has doubled.  Adoptions have totally stopped. 
     Penny just isn't getting it.  She is spending a lot of time in time out for growling at the others.  She actually snapped at Fez yesterday.  She goes after Hanna, but mostly Thomas.  She knows who she can bully and who she best not.  She is one very headstrong dog.  Good thing she is small.  I could not handle a 100 pounder with her attitude. 
    Dogs have got to go. 
11/14/12:  Been on the phone a good part of the morning trying to get the VA disability benefits rolling.  Loren applied a month ago and we figured 3 months as that is how long it took for a friend of a friend.  Well, we now heard 12 to 18 months.  Called the local state rep. and talked to his very knowledgeable aide.  We will be going to LR tomorrow.  The VA doesn't take appointments so we need to be on the road by 4:45 a.m.  The dogs are going to be very confused being fed at 4 a.m.  I just hope we will be able to get in early so can be home before dark.  I have a terrible time driving at night, but I will be on the road for almost 2 hours in the dark.  Scares the heck out of me.  If we had someone to feed the dogs, we probably would have went and spent the night.  Too short of a plan anyway.  No time to make any arrangements.  As good as Micah is, feeding this many and all so close together is an art form, juggling act, memory exercise and referee job all done simultaneously.
11/13/12:  Fez was sure silly this morning.  We were leashing him, Goofy and Zelda up.  Fez took his own leash in his mouth, which he does most of the time, but this time he dropped his and took Goofys' and was dragging him around the room.  Then he dropped it and picked up Zeldas' and started walking her.  He prefers to ride, but he'll settle for a walk.
    Spent a lot of time off and on with Emily and Custard.  They are so good.  Just a leash issue, but other then that they are near perfect.  Emily is definitely subordinate to Custard.  She is the more timid too.  They did tip over my trash but it was my fault.  I threw a candy wrapper in it. 
   No one is adopting and more dogs are getting dumped everywhere because of the economy.  Shelters are just sitting without adoptions and no-kill can't take in any.  Winter is here and I just had to hook up the heater in the big dog house.  I so want those 3 to have homes.  Mercy is getting spayed Friday.  Lacy comes to visit Saturday for the holiday.   
11/12/12:  I hope the day turns as sunny as the sky.  So far it has started more like last nights rain storm.  Loren is having a bad day.  Yesterday was fair.  Day before he was feeling pretty good.  When he can help in the mornings just putting pills in hot dogs and liverwurst and in the proper food bowls, it really helps. 
    The cooler weather hypes up the dogs.  Time change has thrown them off too.  Goofy fiddles around about eating.  That messes me up.   Zelda does too.  She has this routine: She wants her bowl set down before Sis and Sahara but she won't start eating until everyone else is finished and out the door.  She prefers to stand near it and growl for 5 minutes.  This is her ritual.  This morning I forgot the Yeast Defense so had to go around to 5 bowls and add it.  Fez has this habit too.  He eats the good stuff (pineapple, applesauce, pumpkin, what ever) and then comes in the kitchen waiting for me to add more.  This upsets Zelda.  When I steered him back to his bowl, he tripped over it and the kibble went flying.  He won't eat off the floor.  I put fresh food in and put him in with Loren and closed the door.  I let Sissy clean up the mess.  She will eat any leftovers no matter where they land.  Fez didn't eat.  No good stuff.  Tough!
     Penny got snarky with Fez.  She is in time out in the yard behind the house.  She has got to go.  I just cannot deal with her.  She has to be number one and the only one.  Dogs lined up to be petted and she has to growl and snap them away.  No amount of grabbing her muzzle and telling her 'no' or time outs have helped.  Ash has such a happy family down below, I hate to split them up again and put Penny with him and the girls behind the house.  Not fair to Ash.  I am ready to put Penny on the HS intake list.  I've had Sweetness here driving me crazy for over 5 years.  The thought of Penny being here like that would be the death of me.  Literally.  I am just too exhausted to deal with an inside dog that can't get along.  I loved Bear and blamed myself for not being able to change him so he could live in harmony with the others.  But Penny... she is a different story.  I am done, I have to be done, with dogs that can't live in the house together. 
     I know it probably raises the question about Zelda, but Zelda keeps to herself.  She growls if they move into her space.  Penny is the one moving others out of theirs.  Entirely different. 
    Micah is here.  He needs to do a better job cleaning up the yard behind the house then he did on Friday.  I found over a dozen old piles while looking for the missing knuckle bone. Oh, did I forget that story?   Penny was in time out.  Since she was alone, I gave her a knuckle bone.  About 2 hours later, it was gone.  I looked for 20 minutes.  That afternoon when I walked Ash and gave him special attention, I put him in that yard thinking for sure he would find the bone.  He did not.  I cannot believe Penny ate it.  Not even my giant chewers can devour one completely.  So where it is remains a mystery.  Anyway, Ash got one of his own and it was reasonably gnawed and then bagged in the fridge for another special day.   Penny is not getting another.  If she did consume it, I'm not chancing her getting a second one stuck inside her. 
11/11/12:  It rained most of the day.  This is suppose to be how it work:  Sunshine in the day, rain at bed time.  I just finished feeding and the rain has almost stopped.  If I had waited it would be dark... if I had waited, it would not have stopped raining. 
    I went back to bed last night after my middle of the night 'wake up'.  Got up late.  I could feel 3 pair of eyes staring in my face.  It was past breakfast time.  They were patient, not barking.  Just staring as if to say "Is she alive?  Did she forget us?"  Got the morning chores out of the way and went back to bed.  I was not sick.  Just sleepy.  I slept from around 10:30 until almost 1:00.  I had not looked at the clock yet. It was daylight.  I got up to feed them and realized I was already dressed!  I had to ask Loren if I had fed them.  That hot chocolate I drank last night must have been some powerful stuff. 
    I decided to spend time with Emily and Custard.  They just want my presence.  They are not pesky.  Totally content just to have me there in the same room.  I finished up 6 or 7 covers.  I worked on a few of Emily's mats.  She is not fond of the comb so we work very gently on that and cut mats when necessary to not get her out of her comfort zone.  It was 4:45.  Actually 3:45.  I keep forgetting to re-set the clock in the shop.  The rain had let up but was still pouring pretty good.  By the time I made the trek to the house and back to feed them and Ash's bunch, I was pretty wet. 
    In that brief 15 minutes and the 10 minutes that followed while I got the house dogs food ready, Thomas could not 'hold it' any longer.  He was not going out in the rain, at least that is what I figured.  I set the food aside and cleaned up the puddle.  It was huge.  Again, I have got to get to an auto supply and get those heavy blue paper towels.  Went through a half roll of Giant size Bounty.  Got the floor mopped and back to setting down bowels.  Because of the rain, I had to make some adjustments to the feeding pattern.  That threw everyone off.  I usually feed Penny first, outside the door and close the doggie door, then feed the rest.  I had to move her to the family room to eat which meant feeding Sweetness and Chipi first.  It's complicated.  Hanna was totally confused because some times she eats in there and sometimes in the doorway.  Got all the bowls down, then start the process of picking them up as they are empty.  Because of the order change, it threw me off and I did not get to Thomas as soon as usual.  Because the dogs were not done eating in their usual order, I had a conflict (not a fight, just noses where they did not belong).  In the shooing away process, I turned loose of Thomas and he promptly hiked on my coffee table leg.  I lost it.  Not bad, just cussed at him.  I marched him out to the garage yard and showed him where to go lay down.  After I finished off the remaining half of the new roll of paper towels and mopped again, I felt guilty.  Here he is, standing in the rain, looking across the yard at me.  Rain that he would not go out in to pee, but would stand in to make me feel bad!  I brought him back in. 
  So I have 2 choices on wishes tonight.  I can wish for rain all night so the dogs won't bark or I can wish for no rain so I won't have Thomas puddles to clean up in the morning.  I'll take the puddles over the barking.
    11 p.m.:  Not sure what time the rain stopped, but must have been just before the barking started.  I feel so bad Emily and Custard can't be part of the house pack.  Custard just won't let it happen.  Emily would but then Custard would be alone.  Anyway, just finished the trip to the shop to 'tuck them in' for the night.  They come in and curl up on their beds waiting for some loving.  Sometimes I stay awhile.  Tonight I didn't.  Hanna, Sweetness and Thomas are waiting for me to come back to bed....
11/9/12:  I don't know where the past 3 days went.  I've done a lot of unsuccessful dog shuffling.  Tried Ash, Ashina and Mercy on Bears side.  No fence fighting, but Mercy chewed up a small foam crate pad.  So they were all returned.  Tried Emily and Custard today.  Emily would have been fine but Custard came in like a guard dog.  Caused Fez to turn on Hanna.  Their visit was short lived.  Penny is staying in the house now but that is a challenge.  She has decided she can push Thomas around.  I am constantly getting after her for growling at him.  She has had a lot of time out's.  First night she actually ran Hanna, Sahara, Thomas and even Zelda back out into the outer yard.  I put her in the garage but she had found a hole by the time I went to bed and was at the inner gate waiting.  It will be a challenge.. Think I said that.
     Emily barks so every night I stay up until 10, then close them in until 6.  They never make a mess.  They are great inside dogs.  I would just like more in bed time.   If I put them in earlier, I am afraid I actually might sleep in the morning and they would be crossing their legs.  They really are great dogs.  Just starved for attention.  I can only be down there sewing 2 hours a day because my back really gets to hurting.  I comb them too and pet them, but it's all from the floor.  That gets to my butt.
    I picked up Bears ashes yesterday.  Just did not seem like enough.  I went on line before I complained.  Looked up cremation.  Couldn't find dogs, but for a person 125 pounds, there are about 4 1/2 pounds of ashes and that is what I got so guess it's right.  His is a fine powder but Keetons' is more like ground sea shells.  The websites kind of explained that too.  Bear is on my kitchen counter.  I just can't put him in the drawer yet.  We cashed in all our coins to pay his bill.  Well, almost pay his bill.  I was $58 short.  It will be awhile until I can get Mercy spayed.  Need to actually adopt out some dogs and get something, or sell some collars or some mattress covers. 
     Speaking of Mattress covers, I got 2 pair of drapes at the thrift store a few days ago.  The size was perfect.  Was able to make one cover out of each panel.  I'll get pix of the material posted soon.  Guess I need it on here as well as facebook.  Anyway, they are really pretty fabric.  I still need a few more for my guys but I'll use the ones that I was a little shy on the fabric and had to contrast. 
     Guess it's time to go put Emily in.  She starts as soon as the sun goes down and if I leave her out, she will still be at it until the sun comes up.  She is definitely going to have to have a home where she is inside all night.
11/5/12:  Oops, not quite.  Forgot to change my bedroom clock.  Twenty three more minutes.  Someone has to bark.  It's the LGD rule and not to be broken.  Emily had continued as usual.  I got some sleep but know it had to be bothering Loren since he is closer.  I went down, waited for them to both go pee and closed them inside.  Now I have Bear, Ash and several others barking.  Guess they are having a 'bark off' to see who gets to take over.  There may be a few neighbor non-Pyr in on the event also. 
    Today (the today of a few minutes from now) is going to be busy.  The tree guys will finish up.  Micah will take care of the dogs, thank goodness.  I need to get Thomas in and have his gums checked, ears checked and I need to look at Bears x-rays.    Wendy had a baby, Rob may be on vacation and Amanda can't do house calls.  I am not comfortable with the 2 less experienced ones and have a personality issue with the other 2.  This is the last thing I will ever be able to do for him and it is going to be done right.  I know I may be unrealistic, but I want him buried on his hill.   There is bound to be a place a back hoe can dig deep enough.   I will make some calls on that also.  It should cost no more to dig a hole then 'special cremation'.  And I always wonder, are the ashes really theirs when I get them back.  I trust so few people in this day.  If I don't know someone, they are going to have to prove what they say.  We are all so sick of "Oh, I misspoke".  No, damn it, they lied and they know damn good an well they lied.   So anyway, decisions to be made.
   Welcome today... it just hit 12:01.  Think I will start it by drinking a glass of milk and going back to bed...if there is room. 
    Evening:  Bear is gone.  It did not go well.  In my heart it went terribly wrong.  When Tabitha came, he ran and would not come over to me.   My mind is saying he is telling me he is not ready.  It seemed so obvious, but I was selfish.  I could not go through the agony of putting it off again knowing he would only suffer more pain.  My agony of putting it off was the selfish part.  Not letting him get any worse was not.  He would not even eat hamburger last night or this morning.  He did not even want a brand new knuckle bone.  It was time.  But it would never really be time.  It never is.  It was still just not the way I wanted. I wanted him to be buried on his hill but there was no time to hire someone with a back hoe.  I took 2 locks of his hair.  The soft fur around his neck and the coarse, curly hair on his back.  I took 2 last photos.  I put his old bowl in the drawer.  The one he had eaten out of for 7 years.  The current one was new and just not a part of him.  His collar came off several days ago.  It is in the drawer.  And after saying a final good bye, his walking collar is in the drawer also.  Soon his ashes will join those of Keeton, Charlie and Shelby.   It rained.   It was appropriate weather.  I don't want anyone to bark tonight.  I do not want his woof, woof, squeak replaced tonight.  They can bark tomorrow night.  But please not tonight. 
11/4/12:  Yesterday was a day of mishaps from start to finish and today was not much better.  Yesterday was just on of those clumsy days.  I knocked over my pop at Hardees and it ran all in my lap.  I spilt the dogs drinking water getting it from the sink to it's respective places.  Not once, not twice, but 4 times.  I burnt food.  I got the dogs bowls mixed up.  Luckily not any with meds in them.  Some feasted,  some famine.  Finally got back to bed at 2 a.m. and slept until 8.  The only sleep I got but way more then I usually get, especially in a stretch.  Just minor interruptions; dog sitting on my head.  Dog laying on my feet.  Dog paws in my face.  Dog tail in my face.  Dog snoring very loudly. 
    Today I didn't have to meet Candy until 2 which meant leaving at 12:45.  Had plenty of time.  Everything loaded ahead... almost.  Had to chase down Petunia.  She was right there when I was ready and then she heard something outside and off she went.  Then I forgot Candy's phone number and had to come back in.  I positioned the crib mattress in the back seat so the dogs would stay back there.  Yah, right!  We were running late so Loren just pulled over 20 minutes out of town and I climbed over the seat.  Faster then worrying about escapees.  I realized I had put on yesterdays pop soaked clothes when Shela started licking them.  Cramped in the back seat with Petunia, Shela and a crib mattress.  Then Petunia threw up.  Stopped again.  Luckily we had napkins in the car.   Down the road a little farther was a small dog running along the highway.  About a 6 pound Yorkie, all matted and skinny and scared.  Loren turned around and we went back.  I tried to coax it but it was too frightened.  It went off into an overgrown field surrounded by a barb wire fence.  I gave up but made note of the location so we could look on the way back.  We were only a few minutes late.  Not talked to candy since as she still had to get to Ozark and then back home.  Shela and Petunia will have a lot of miles on them today. 
    We were starved by the time we headed home.  We did slow and look for the little dog but not a sign of it.  I will make some calls tomorrow and maybe someone can catch it so it won't starve, freeze or get run over.  Anyway, no where safe to eat so ended up splurging at Chili's when we got back in town.  Did get lucky and our favorite waitress was there.  She was getting off but stayed over just for us.  I love it when they know what we want to drink, know how we want our food.  All we have to do is pick the item. 
    By the time we walked in the door it was nearly dark.  I had to really rush to get everyone fed, outside waters done and get a mattress in the garage for Goofy if he decides he wants to sleep out there.  He is glad to have that option back.  Shela ate the mattresses that were out there so that is what I spent my time doing yesterday, recovering them and making them useable again.  Goofy has to have a nice soft one out there.
    It's only 6 and I'm ready for a bath and bed.  Bear is already settled in waiting for me.  Chipi would not let him come off the hill.  That is how Bear acted when both Frank and Charlie got sick.  The reason he lost his in-house pack status.  Chipi may be headed that way only her option will be moving out side.  I wish I knew who was chewing up mattress covers over on Bear side.  It is either Sweetness or Chipi.  This is the third one on 2 weeks.  It would have been more, but I just left them on.  Patching became a waste of effort.  I have old dogs, sick dogs, neurotic dogs... but the worst of all is the lonely dogs.  those break my heart day in and out because there is just not enough of me to go around.
11/3/12:  Actually 11/4 if 12:36 counts as late Saturday night rather then early Sunday morning.  Is the time changing in a few hours?  If so, that is not the reason I am awake.  I really made an effort at sleep.  Bear was on the bed so Sissy took over the barking.  Bear barks from the hill.  Sissy barks from the deck 15 feet away from my bed.  I had given Emily and Custard some knuckle bones thinking that would keep them busy all night and I would not have to lock them in.  It worked for awhile until I guess Custard took Emilys and kept his own as well.  At least that is how it appeared when I went down at 11:30 go lock them in.  While I was down there, I made another cover the repair the second mattress Shela had torn.  Now they are both fixed and I will take one to Candy for Harry (aka Arlo). 
    I wish Petunia and Shela were going to forever homes and not foster tomorrow.  I love having fosters but I also hate uprooting dogs any more then necessary.  I do think they will have a much better chance of being adopted up there because Candy can take them to the adoption events that the HS has.  Our HS is not rescue friendly in that regard unless you are taking one from them that they can't get rid of.  So I will be at 16.  Thomas goes after Thanksgiving.  Not sure when Ash goes but he does have an adopter.  Bear will have crossed the Rainbow Bridge by then so then I will have 13.  But 5 will still be outside.  I know I can bring Penny in and I might be able to bring in Ashina and Mercy.  Not going to happen with Emily and Custard.  Might with Emily but not Custard.  He is a people dog, not a dogs dog.  He will probably be fine with one or 2 others but not a pack participant.
     I don't know if they will ever stop barking so I can go back to bed.  Laying in bed listening and waiting for them to stop or getting up telling them to be quiet is much more stressful then just giving up and staying up.  Guess I'll go brush a dog. 
11/2/12:  Putting Ashina and Mercy together worked out well.  they really began toplay last night.  Ashina is a barker, but she was pretty good as long as the others were quiet.  She is the back up singer, not the lead.  That is almost always Bear.  He does share the stage (yard) with Sissy sometimes and Petunia is constantly auditioning for the lead.  Loud does not make up for harmony, especially when she is singing a different tune.  They bark.  She howls. 
     It is 3:16 a.m.  Thomas woke me up shaking his head.  I cleaned his ears and some strange color came out.  It came out of both or I would have thought it dead bug guts.  Not something I have seen before.  I'll run him in in the morning and have them check his gums and look at his ears at the same time.  I put some Zymox in them but always reluctant as Goofy shook so hard once, he ruptured the ear drum.  Anyway, then I discovered blood on my pillow.  Not from me but from Hanna.  She went outside so I am waiting on her to come back before going back to bed.  If I go out and call her, I will get all the dogs barking.
11/1/12:  It does not seem possible it was a year ago I was saying how the date was all 1's 4 times during the year and it would not happen again for 100 years.  Where has the year gone?
    Micah came today since he couldn't come yesterday.  I would not survive without his help.  We just need to work on Emily and Custard letting him in without me giving the OK first.  This afternoon I put Ashina with Mercy... yes, new name, new dog.. story in a moment.  Mercy did well meeting most at the house but she was a bit overwhelmed and a little too nervous.  I was afraid she would get defensive with these guys smelling her butt over and over again.  I just have a sense about the dogs and Ashina was a good match.  My biggest problem is Emily and Custard.  They would be really good if I had a way to keep them from both seeing and hearing each other.  They just feed off each other and in a negative way.  Neither is alpha but together they both feel over confident. 
    So as for Mercy.  The ACO from the next county over called me that a woman was taking a young Pyr into the vet to be euthanized.  I was the only one he knew who might step in and save it.  This is the guy who crawled into a 35' pipe to rescue the 5 Flippin puppies.  How could I say no?  Anyway, she is a love and certainly worth saving.  I named her Mercy, as I was thinking "Mercy, mercy, why am I getting another dog!?" 
    It has been a very long and unproductive day.  I've worked at something all day long but seemed it was all slow motion.  This moving Bear back and forth is hard.  Not so much Bear, but convincing the others they are going to survive for 8 hours on his side.  This morning and every other odd numbered day are really going to be a challenge.  Bear gets 7 pills which have to be followed by a 30 minute walk.  Yes, that is the instructions and yes, I did have to talk to the vet to be sure I understood.  Since Bear can barely walk, this is near impossible.  We mostly went in small circles.  He is not to sit and definitely not to lay down during this time.  He is suppose to keep moving.  He is obviously hurting.  It takes 3 days for the heavy duty pain meds to kick in so hopefully Saturday will be better.  I'd be in a real mess if I was meeting Candy Sat., rather then Sunday.  I did so much for Keeton, wiped his butt, walked him in the rain, but making Bear do something that I know is making him hurt is what makes it so hard for me.  Not the doing, but the knowing he is hurting.
10/30/12:  I scheduled Bear for Friday but he was smiling and wanting to go for a 3 legged walk this morning when Nancy and Betty came.  So I called and canceled Friday and ordered some heavy pain meds.  Bear is obviously not ready for me to make that decision for him.  He is enjoying being number one in the house and me sleeping on the floor petting him most of the night. 
     Lorens blood work was not good.  His PSI (PSA??) is up to 48.  He got down to 2 after the first treatment and then it just continues to double again each month.  Last month it was 23.  Thirteen the month before.  If it goes up at all this month, he will be sent to some other place.  Doctor said it is definitely the Agent Orange caused cancer.  Loren applied to the government for that compensation.  Always takes months.  He said he hopes he lives long enough to see the check.  This is not encouraging.  He wanted to eat out for lunch because he won't be hungry for the next week.  I don't even want to guess what he weighs but there is not much left but skin and bones.
     Candy has worked so hard getting fosters for me.  Hopefully 2 dogs will go this weekend.  I'll ask Cathy if she is available for a run Sat or Sun because Loren will not be up to it.  If not, maybe someone will go with me.  I get so lost. She is working on 2 or 3 others and I have one for Thomas.  Emily and Custard are going to need a foster with time to work with them.  I think they will do much better separated.  They feed off each other and rely on each other to make decisions.  The negative action usually wins. 
10/29/12:  I closed the doggie door on the shop about 7 last night.  Less barking!  I did get some sleep but not a lot.  Bear is in really bad shape.  He could not walk last night.  I had to help him up the ramp and onto my bed.  He stayed up there with me until after midnight.  I closed him in too.  He eventually became insistent so I let him out.  I heard him up on the hill.  My nerves were shot and my heart breaking.  He has a job to do.  Has done it every night for almost 8 years.  The bark that keeps me awake became the bark I listened for.  The familiar sound that assures me he is ok.  Strange how our perspective changes when heartache comes into play.  I will be calling the vet at 8 and getting Bear in.  I don't want him to be sitting in a cage all day so want to be sure Rob can see him at a point soon after I bring him in. 
      I got up at 4 and went down to open the doggie door for Custard and Emily.  They were fine.  Happy to see me.  No accidents.   Petunia and Shela quieted about 10 p.m.  They were back in the garage.  Ashina has been really quiet the past week.  She use to be a sun down to sun up barker.  Don't hear her much anymore. 
    Candy posted for fosters on FB and got a good response.  She also has a potential adopter for one.  We will be close to moving all the outside dogs.  Once they are gone, we will change insurance.  There will be nothing to tell and nothing to cause a problem.  Even if old tells new, the issue has been eliminated.  I can get insurance to cover my fosters through rescue insurance.  The dogs in the house won't be an issue.  It won't save any money as I'll still provide food and vetting to the fosters.  Ozark Dogs will exist like many others do, spread out in lots of foster homes.  We will just be spread a little broader then many.  I'll join the yard behind the house to the one on the shop.  That way when I work down there and take dogs with me to keep me company, they will have more room to get out and enjoy the weather.  The big yard below will be a holding area when a dog is picked up to be vetted and then on it's way elsewhere.  At least I think that will be within safe insurance criteria. 
  Afternoon:  Bear has cancer.  I just knew.  I could feel it in my heart.  I've switched the dogs around.  Fez is extremely unhappy but then that's the way it is going to be until Bear tells me it is time to say good bye.  I had the vet give him a heavy duty pain shot.  He was really groggy as it took 15 minutes from hanging up the phone to decide what dogs would go where.  Then another 10 minutes to the vet and then waiting another 10.  He got in the back floor and got stuck.  Literally.  His middle was wedged between the back seat and the console.  He has no strength in the back to lift himself and he was so groggy his front legs were not working either.  I was considering calling out the rescue unit.  I finally squeezed a small blanket under his back end and lifted.  My hands are sore.  My muscles ache.  Unwedging a 125 pound lethargic dog was no easy task.  He had not had breakfast.  I didn't know if a groggy dog should eat but we were tempting him with left over rib eye roast.  I gave him the rest of it when I finally got him into the house.  He is now asleep by Lorens desk.  Think it was too much effort to make it across the room to mine. 
    The vet is going to check on the price of some medication.  They would have to order it.  It is to relieve pain for cancer patients.  Don't remember the name.  Since it would have to be ordered, I imagine it is mega bucks.  Anything to do with Cancer always is.   Right now I am more in lala land.  I know, but I don't realize.  I can phrase but they are just words.  Tonight when the dogs are fed and my brain has nothing to occupy it, keep it side tracked, I will fall apart.   Bear has been with me since he was 10 weeks old.  He would be 8 on New Years.  Bear  I've not updated his page in a long time.  So busy with dogs needing homes.  The dogs here will all start to die.  They are all getting old.  I just did not expect Bear to go before Sissy.  When Sonny got Cancer, it was always in the back of my mind.. Bear may get it.  That was why the urgency to get him integrated back into the rest of the pack.  It was not meant to be.  Guilt will suffocate me.  Every time he looked with such anticipation at the door "is it my turn now?"  And I was just too tired to shuffle dogs.  And he would go to his crate with such a sad look.  Too many dogs.   Not enough time.  Too much sadness.  Not enough happiness.  Too much guilt and inability to forgive myself.  My best was not good enough.  Not good enough for any of them, especially not for Bear.
10/28/12:  Bear would not come down to eat when I called.  Bear could not come down.  His back leg is just not working.  Spent a fortune on him recently also.  X-rays, blood work.  It starts to look a little better and then he can't walk on it again.  I need to get him to LR for cold laser treatments.  They really helped Jericho.  But that is 6 trips in 3 weeks and over $200. Then he will need Adequin shots which I can give, but the vials alone will be around $150 for the series  (plus over $450 in gas).  
    Hanna has not shaken again since a few days ago, but we really need to get to the source.  Massive blood work showed nothing abnormal.  That leaves brain tumor or just more questions.  I am afraid they are going to go into full blown seizures.  That is how we lost Frank.  I keep thinking maybe something she is eating is causing her to be slowly poisoned but she eats the same as the others.  Nothing has changed.  All the dog food recalls, but none of the others show this kind of symptom.
    Sahara is doing better, but she still is very stiff in all her legs.  She walks without bending her knees.  We've went the whole x-ray, blood work with her too in the past few months. 
    When Fez went in for his wart removal, I asked them to check his ears and teeth.  I really don't think they did an ear culture.  He stinks!  I have been lax on his Yeast Defense because with out Loren's help, it is all I can do just to get their pills right.  Supplements have kind of become an after thought and too often a total forgotten thought.  Anyway, he continues to dig at the chin and ears, scratching with his hind paw with a vengeance.  I need to do a drop off so I know if it is a yeast infection or ear mites or what.
     Thomas's ears stink too.  They are clean.  Nothing ever comes out when I clean them.  He is stiff in all his joints.  I can tell he feels better since his gum growths were removed.  He is now putting his front paws on the kitchen counter trying to watch me fix his food.  GRRRR!  His back legs can't be too decrepit. 
     Sissy& Zelda seem to be holding their own health wise.  It is what it is (old age) with them and they are living with it.  Sweetness, Chipi and Goofy, knock on wood, are not having any health problems that I am aware of. 
     The others, I just need gone.  I had to put Shela and Petunia back in the yard behind the house this morning.  I think Shela may have some herding breed in her.  She runs circles around the LGD's and brings them into a group.  Not without a lot of growling protest from them, but she actually gets it done!!!  I watched in amazement this morning as she rounded up Zelda, Sissy, Hanna, Sahara and Thomas.  I thought Sissy was gong to go after her, but luckily she only made menacing faces.
     Ash, Ashina and Penny are doing fine.  I had to get more creative with keeping the doggie door in place.  They are constantly dislodging it and it comes out of the door.  It's Penny.  The other 2 don't do anything wrong.  I need to put the heater in their house but so afraid Penny will chew the cord.  I know she is the one who destroyed the AC cord, even after I had it wrapped in tape and folded up and taped to the wall. 
     It's 9:30 a.m. and I didn't even get dressed.  Just put on sweats and slip on shoes to go feed.  The poop can wait for Micah tomorrow.  So can the water.  There are advantages to cold weather when you have help.  Quite the opposite when you don't. 
I am an emotional basket case.  No sleep.  A full moon so barking constantly.  I'm going to leave the house looking like a house where a dozen dogs live and going to the shop and sew some covers.  We have left over beef roast and Loren has hot dogs if he gets hungry.  I may not even come up until time to feed this evening.  Emily and Custard will really enjoy my company.
10/27/12:  I closed the gate.  It's a full moon.  I thought it would help.  It's 4 a.m. and I've been up since around 2.  Good thing I guess.  I put frozen boneless chicken in the microwave.  Not to cook, but to protect while it thawed.  I forgot it.  Luckily it was still really cold and a little froze in the middle so figured it was still safe.  Cooked it and cooked 2 cups of rice.  While I was doing that, Thomas got hamburger and green beans.  Hope he does not think these middle of the night meals are going to become a regular thing.  As for the drool, YES!!! It has slowed down.  Not totally gone, but he can clean up the hamburger and what ever with hardly a sign of slime... well, at least no more then the others leave.  Yeah!!!   Even the water is pretty clear.  The others might even drink after him.  Now if I can convince him that he ALWAYS has to hold it until he gets outside.  I am really getting tired of sopping up pee and mopping.  If he has a straight shot at the door, he is fine, but when he's got to go, he goes.  If something is in his way, he makes no effort to wait or go around.  Rob said when he turned him on the table, every joint creaked, crackled and popped.  He said usually a dog will have a few joints that are like that, but he said he thinks every one of Thomas's did.  Poor old guy. 
     Hanna, Sissy and Sweetness slept with me.  It was quite cramped.  Sweetness will stay at the foot but Hanna and Sissy have to share my pillows.  One on each side, both wanting attention.  I get the paw if I don't lay on my back and pet both.  It is not a comfortable position.
     It was forecasted to freeze so I put Shela and Petunia in the garage last night.  I dread looking this morning.  It's still going to be dark for a few more hours so what awaits me will just be an unknown for awhile.  They both 'pout'.  Shela demolished a mattress when she was with Bear and Petunia has torn holes in 2 mattress covers when I closed her out of my bedroom.  There are (maybe were) 2 really good ones out there for Goofy as that is where he likes to stay when the other dogs pester him or block his way.  I hope they are still as they were 8 hours ago.  I could not leave them in the yard when it's freezing.  They do have 2 igloos and a bunch of blankets in each and each other to huddle.  But they don't have a real house with insulation and heat.   I do need to get the heater in the big dog house.  They ate the AC cord several weeks ago so I am a little nervous about the heater going in there.  I'm sure it was Penny.  She ate another handle off an ice chest too.  I bet Micah forgot to set the handle against the wall.  Now he will have to carry it the hard way.  I have just not found any used ones in a very long time.
    I'm going to try to go back to sleep.  They are quiet.  Maybe the moon has went down. 
10/26/12:  They were all pretty good last night.  It rained.  That helps!  Emily stayed in the shop so therefore, she didn't bark.  Surprisingly neither did Petunia or Ashina.  Bear did get his barks in during breaks in the rain. 
    Hanna slept on the bed with me almost all night.  Sissy came up.  Not sure what time, but she was soaked.  She laid on Hanna's legs so I had to move over and un-wedge Hanna.  Sissy is 120 pounds and Hanna is fragile.  Later I got up to go to the bathroom and Sissy had gotten down.  Hanna had moved into my spot.  I went around to the other side of the bed (God forbid I should make a dog move), and crawled in.  What an awakening!  That is when I remembered.  Sissy slept here.  The bed was cold and damp, like wring out a towel damp, not like a little mist in the air damp.  I moved as close to Hanna as I could get and went back to sleep.  My night shirt is still a bit damp and I have been up for an hour. 
    I didn't get the water up at midnight as planned, so this morning I heard slurping.  I had given Thomas 2 benadryl for itching last night.  He slept like a log and of course was very thirsty this morning.  I flew out of bed and grabbed up all the waters.  He is following me around trying to be one step ahead.  I had opened the gate so had outside waters to do also.  I just closed the garage yard gate on the other waters.  I did not look to see if I locked Goofy in.  Guess I'll figure it out soon as the sun comes up.  I did miss one source of water... yep.  Any other time, the lid would be down...  Guess I will have to confess when I call the vet at 8 and see if I screwed up and can still bring him in.  He also may have gotten into a bit of food.  He peed all over the vertical blinds in the kitchen while I was outrunning him to the water.  I think it was a definite form of protest.  While I was cleaning that up. I left the door to the laundry room open.  That is were the dog food is.  He had his head in the bag. 
    And so the morning begins!  Loren has blood work this morning at 8.  I have Thomas to the vet at 8 (unless they say no), Micah is coming.  That better be a plus (and not like Wednesday).  I need to call Ilse and cancel.  I am really disappointed as was really looking forward to a day away tomorrow.   Guess I better get dressed. 
    Evening:  Thomas is still a bit drunk, but had a good appetite.  He smelled the hamburger cooking.  He knew it had to be for him.  That, green beans, pumpkin and cottage cheese.  This will be pretty much be his meals for the next 2 weeks.  Putting him back on kibble may be a challenge.  The bill was a whopper.  Don't know why I would have figured half what it was.  Dumb me. 
     Emily and Custard are really enjoying the shop.  So glad I was able to make the move for them.  But putting Petunia out is sad.  Thomas and Goofy and especially Fez, well, they just don't do hyper children and Fez missed having a floor full of squeaky toys.  Candy has a plan so hope every one will be in a good place in the next few weeks.   My house will still be full but crossing fingers the outside dogs will have found places.  I am so fortunate to have met Candy.  I don't know how I would be holding myself together without her friendship and support. 
     I feel bad not getting the day off tomorrow.   Hopefully in a few weeks we will be able to go to Springfield.  I need to see how much an MRI for Hanna is going to be first.  There is a specialist in LR.  We've done all we can here.  Last nights 1 1/2 hour episode  really put things in a rush.  So many possibilities and we already ruled out anything blood work would indicate.  Some of these dogs have just had so much pain and sadness in their lives.  I can't let their last months or years be anything less then the best I can do for them.  And Bear is limping really bad.  It should be better but it's not.  My heartache is that he is not in the main part of the house all the time.  I'd have to muzzle him, Goofy and Zelda.  If my damn back order for the extra large muzzles would get her...  Only been 4 months since I ordered them!!!  The size down that I got will just not fit as they should.
    Petunia is serenading the world.  I'm ready for a long bath (like all of 10 minutes because someone will need me).  I changed the sheets and washed the blanket (pad was still damp from Sissy last night.)  I let Bear warm it up all day.  He loves being in my room even if I am not there.  I would not know how a pristine clean bed would feel.
10/25/12:  Actually today is the 26th, but this is how yesterday went.  Today is already starting out to be a story of it's own.
     On Wednesday, it was obviously 'one of those days' for Micah as very little got done that should have in the 2 hour and 50 minute time frame.  So that made more work for me on Thursday, which I will refer to as "today" even though it was yesterday. 
      It was definitely dog shuffling time.  Petunia was stir crazy without a playmate.  The thought of 12 dogs in the house again was just too much.  I moved Emily and Custard to the shop.  An excellent move so far.  They are use to being in a 'house' so I have no worries about anything torn up or peed on.  They settled right in and seemed really happy.  Then I moved Petunia into their previous yard behind the house.  Then brought Shela in with her.  A little tense until they reestablished their relationship.  When I can pick up a dog, size wise like Petunia, I don't worry about friction.  Weird to me how some dogs just forget each other.  I wonder why?  Anyway, that left Ash, Ashina and Penny.  They do better without Shela.  Not that Shela is a problem.  Quite the opposite.  She is the target.  So this rearranging should be good.  I had he problem of Rowdy coming.
     A gal had called me earlier in the week for advise.  She rescued a Pyr puppy and decided to keep it.  Having no clue what to do, she had picked up my pamphlet at the vets office since it has Keeton on the front.  She came by this morning.  I had not even swept he floor.  The house is always a mess after a night of bringing in leaves and dirt.   Fez's excessive shedding adds to the decorum.  Their puppy had quite a time tasting hair balls.  She is absolutely adorable.  And the nicest mother and daughter.  When I brought in Hanna and Sahara and showed them how big their puppy would get they were in shock!   The vet had said 100 pounds but I said 80 to 85 due to current age and weight.  It was a healthy 12 week old puppy.  It could reach 100, but not likely as a healthy weight.  I think Hanna's 80 pounds was enough of a shock.  Meeting Fez really took them by surprise.  They had never met a dog as big as him. They will come again next week and we will walk the dogs together so the puppy can learn by example. 
     When they left I went and spent 2 hours in the shop.  I had mattress covers to make.  Sewing and ironing relaxes me.  Emily and Custard were content just to have me in the room. They are not pests like Thomas was when he and I were in there.  When I was finished, I had to sneak out through the other door as they had fallen asleep right in front of the main door.  I think it was intentional so I could not leave without them knowing.  They did notice, however.  I suspect next time they will each pick a door since they now know there are 2 escape routes.
     Loren and I shared a salad and sandwich at Seans.  Then off to spend a small fortune at Wal-mart getting some basics:  Apple sauce, sliced pineapple, canned pumpkin and bananas for Fez.  Hot dogs for all the dogs pills (pill pockets are just too expensive). Milk and orange juice for us humans.  I indulged myself with ice cream, dish soap and toilet paper.  Loren got 2 boxes of cereal, Hebrew National franks and a package of buns.  Over $100.  That is so insane.  When we got home, Loren was exhausted and went to bed.  He has been up less and less. 
    We get home and the reality of tomorrow sets in.  I was suppose to take Thomas in this afternoon and leave him for tomorrows growth removal.  He would think he was back at animal control.  I will just pick up all the water at midnight.  (that is a lot of water!)  I called to let them know we would just be in in the morning.  He is going to be under enough stress and in pain.  Don't want to add to it. 
    Then the reality of Rowdy coming sets in.  I am quickly becoming a basket case. 
     I should never answer the phone during feeding time.  A sweet adopter called but it put me over an hour and a half behind schedule.  It was almost dark and pouring rain when I could finally get the outside dogs fed.  The yards did not get cleaned nor water changed.  Micah better show up, not that I would expect him not to.  Just really need caught up. 
     Got everyone finished and Candy called.  After a long conversation she helped me through the decision making process.  She had not known her dear friend and our foster momma's husband was in serious condition in the hospital for the 3rd day.  I just assumed she knew.  Anyway, she added to the tragedy.  One of the parents mother was killed yesterday in a car wreck with their daughter in the car.  She watched her grandma die.  She is ok physically, but mentally is a whole other story.  I know.  My grandma was my existence and although 35 when she died of old age, I still miss her so much 32 years later.  This poor girl, my heart really goes out to her.   So Candy and I make a decision of how to best try to help all involved.  Hanna is a real heart dog so she would ease the grieving since Rowdy is a hand full and needs out of there.  He only adds to the family stress.  Candy will call me back with a time frame and location to meet in Springfield Saturday.  She has a parade to attend with her granddaughters and Loren and I were going to Ilse's to meet Maxwell 2 (previously known as Takota) and have a nice visit.  Candy hangs up and I call in Hanna.  She is shaking uncontrollably again.  I have not seen this in over a week.  She shook for over an hour and a half.  I swear it looks exactly like Parkinsons Disease.  That settled that.  She is going to be with me forever.  She had just quit shaking when Candy called back.  I told her.  Then Hanna had a few short episodes while I was on the phone.  I was sitting on the floor talking and holding her at the same time.  We decided we would not meet Saturday.  With Hanna's seizures and Thomas just coming home from his procedure, leaving them for the day would not be a good idea.  Thomas is old and Goofy picks on him.  With Thomas in pain, it could be a formula for trouble.  So Rowdy will go to the vets and Wanda will go to the family.  We will sort things out during the week on any other dog moves. 
10/24/12: They make sure I am totally past the point of sleep before they stop barking.  It is not quite 4 a.m. and I have not slept.  They are quiet now.  It is as if to say "Mom is up to take care of invaders so now we can sleep".  If I go back to bed, word will spread and they will take over again. 
   It was my mom's birthday yesterday and I totally forgot.  I'll call her when it's a decent hour.  The stress is beyond my ability to cope.  Loren had a good day Monday and mowed the lawn, Big mistake.  Now he is really feeling bad.  He dropped me off at the seminar yesterday (a waste of 2 hours) and then came to pick me up before I called.  It was in a different building on the college campus from where we thought.  I didn't know he was there waiting for me.  I kept calling home beginning to panic that something had happened to him.  I have no sense of direction so I had no clue which way to walk.  I had no idea what building he had dropped me off at.  they all look alike.  I would not have every gotten where I needed to be for the seminar had it not been for another lady being lost also.  But when it was over, I had no idea where I was.  I was about to break down in tears when I heard Loren holler. He had walked the campus looking for me.  The parking lot was about as far away as possible.  Since I didn't know where he parked, he had to walk back with me.  Otherwise I would have went and brought the car to him.  The was a little after 11 and when we got home he went to bed.  Been there every since.
    One of my fosters husband is very ill so that has added another layer to the weight on me.  I know she would continue to foster, but it is not fair to her or the family right now.  We were going to do a dog swap but now I guess it is best just to take the dog back and not send one to her until things are manageable.  I know how hard it is because I am living it every day for the past 3 years. 
     Think I will go curl up on the love seat.  Maybe they won't notice I am "off duty" and they will continue to sleep and let me get some sleep.  I got to be up in 2 1/2  hours.
     Evening:  Made the decision to go ahead and have Thomas's growths removed.  His food bowl fills up with slime so quickly, I have to feed him little amounts 4 times a day or I have to throw it out.  It is even too gross for him.  I am so scared.  He is old and so sweet and I don't want him to hurt.  I know burning those growths off is going to be a major trauma inside his mouth.  I just want to cry.  I'll sleep in the shop with him tomorrow night because he can't have water after midnight.  I can't pick it all up because the other dogs need to drink.  I don't want him to go in tomorrow night because he will think he has been abandoned at the animal control again being in a small pen with other dogs barking all around him.  I'll take him in Friday morning and pick him up Friday afternoon.  I may have to cancel our trip to Springfield for Saturday as he may not be up to being left alone all day.  This is hell. 
10/23/12:  I would have loved to sleep.  The dogs actually quieted down around 10 p.m. but it did me no good.  Hanna insisted on attention, curled up practically on my head.  Petunia trying to squeeze in between us.  That was just the beginning of the sleepless night.  I'd had left over pizza around 5.  It made me thirsty.  I drank 2 big glasses of water by 10.  So when the dogs weren't bothering me, my bladder was.  It was not just I have to go, it was. I'm awake, I might as well go.  Some time yesterday I must have stepped wrong as my ankle is really hurting.  I didn't really notice it until I tried to get it out from under Petunia.  No, my foot was not on my head (not possible at my age).  She had made several exits to go howl at what ever and returned to curl up into/on my feet.  Later Sweetness came up on the bed.  Each time I got up to natures call I'd lose a little more bed space.
     I had given Thomas benadryl much earlier so his sleeping was even more out of it then usual.  I had to step over him to get to the bathroom and get back to bed.  I guess I was keeping Hanna awake, so she finally got down.  Getting turned around to get by Sweetness was hard.  Made her off balance and she hit the floor pretty unsteady.  I jumped up to be sure she was ok.
    By now Thomas was awake and thirsty.  I tried to coax him outside to potty... hey, if I had to go, he must have to also.  He needed to refuel after the benadryl like I had to after the pizza.  Started with the outside water.  Then he came in and worked on the inside water.  Hey. I'm up.  Might as well empty the slime and start fresh.  He finally has filled up and needs to let some out.  I put the fresh water down and he checks them both out.  I get back to bed.  I call Sweetness up to the pillow but she does not move.  then she starts acting really weird.  The night lights are pretty bright so I can see she is in trouble.  I don't know if she was having a seizure or leg spasms, but when she tried to get up, she fell off the bed.  Rolled off backwards.  Thank God I had took the box springs out a few days ago so it would be lower and accessible for Hanna.  Sweetness could have broke a leg had it been those 9" higher.   Anyway, I tried to grab her as she was wobbling all over.  Definitely disoriented.  Possibly seizuring.   I finally got her calmed.
     Sweetness makes me crazy, a lot, but I have always loved her.  It is quite heart opening when you realize just how much you love one even if they complicate your life more then others. 
     Thomas and Sweetness followed me in to the computer room.  Both are snoring loudly.  It's 4 a.m.  I'm going to a seminar on grant writing in less then 5 hours.  I need some sleep.  I am itching.  I hope it's not hives.  Hope Thomas didn't bring in what ever made him itch so much.   But then I thought of food allergy.  Hope the incident with Sweetness is not related to the shaking Hanna had several times and the lameness Bear, Sahara and Zelda have exhibited lately.  I just bought more Taste of the Wild because I have no energy to home cook.  Could one of the 'flavors' be causing a reaction?  I did a taste test of 10 of them and the 'grey bag' (chicken, duck, etc) won on 9.  But I was feeding mostly purple bag (Lamb) and some yellow (Bison).  Purple was everyone last choice and it was what I was feeding most.  Maybe a taste test was not a good idea.  Maybe these incidents are directly related to the chicken flavor. 
    Guess I will curl up on the floor and see if I can get a little sleep.  If I go back to bed, they will wake up and miss me.  Besides Sissy and Petunia have spread out on it.  Petunia I can move.  Moving Sissy is, well, like moving a 122 pound chunk of lead.
     Evening:  The slime, the drool, the drain clogger, the floor slicker.  There is way more to Thomas being in the house then I ever imagined.  I love him, but I'm exhausted.  Changing water constantly so the others can have a drink.  Feeding him small amounts 4 times a day because his food gets so saturated, even he won't eat it.  Being sure his bowl is on a rug or we will all break a leg or crack open our head as we slide like on cooking grease.  And washing dog dishes, leaving his until last or the process is slowed waiting for the slime to travel the length of the drain.  And the paper towels.  I now have a roll of blue industrial strength in the kitchen.  Cheaper then folding off 3 or 4 Bounty to wipe his chin every time he passes.   Changing my levis every day.  I normally wore them several days.  Guess I still could, but the shiny, crusty designs on the legs are not particularly appealing. 
10/21/12: Candy said Arlo is settling in just fine, asleep on her lap while she was brushing him.  I didn't mention how loud he snores.  I figured I'd leave that funny discovery to herself.  Wonder how long it will take her to realize he never barks.  Whimpers, but never barked in the months he was here.  A perfect gentleman.  I sure missed him last night but he is where I always knew he belonged from the first week he arrived here. 
    I spent about an hour in the shop making a bench so Hanna could get on the bed easier.  It really did look nice since the board I used was already stained and varnished.  Brought it up and contemplated for about half an hour how to secure it.  Decided it needed some adjustment.  While working my brain on it and deciding the size was wrong, I had an epiphany.  Clothes hamper!  I stole Lorens hamper, filled it with blankets from the floor of my closet to make is more solid and laid it on it's face.  Perfect size.  Perfect height.  Hanna loved it!!!  Most of the time simple is the solution.  Now what to do with my 12" high 4' long wood creation? 
     It must be getting close to a full moon.  They have barked a lot the past 3 nights.  I have been 'giving up' between 3 and 4 a.m.  When I give up, so do they.  They come in and go to sleep.  It's 6:30 and they are all asleep.  Exhausted after an all nighter. 
    I still did not bring Shela up.  That is on the agenda for today.  It is one of those unknowns.  Shela and Petunia played great together so that is not a question.  The question is, will it alleviate some of Petunias mischief or will the mischief double? 
    Late night:  Sometimes we go over all the scenarios and still miss one or two.  Brought Thomas up.  Not sure it would work with Goofy or Zelda.  A little iffy, but we muddled through.  Thomas normally gets a walk before dinner so I just walked him the perimeter of the back yard.  That was plenty.  Had to clean up a huge puddle in the living room.  I suspect Zelda or Sissy was blocking the doggie door.  No big deal... cleaning it up.   Went to bed at 7:30 to watch some TV.  And Thomas began scratching, and scratching, and scratching.  I have not seen any fleas but figured after spraying him with an anti itch spray, maybe he needed a Comfortis.  I had one left.  It has been 4 hours.  I have been up putting everything on him I can think of.  He is really gnawing on himself.  Anti itch spray, hot spot powder, just now a human cortisone cream, moving all the hair this way and that to be sure it is rubbed into the skin.  He is still gnawing.  He must have gotten into something in the yard that he is allergic to.  If it were poison oak or poison ivy, I would be broke out by now.  I just do not have the energy to give him a bath tonight.  It would be 3 a.m. before I would be finished.   I'll go to the pet store in the morning and see what shampoo I should get and do it then.  I feel so sorry for him.  I feel so helpless to help him.  He is miserable.  I am sure he has not been going through this prior to tonight as his coat would have showed gnawing spots.  It is going to be a long night.  The rest are not even barking... any other night... it is a conspiracy. 
10/20/12:  Lost some days.  Sure didn't sleep through them... darn.  Met Candy half way today.  It was hard having Arlo leave.  But he could not be in a better situation or with a better person.  From the first week I got him, I knew he was extra special and needed a job beyond just a companion.  I rode in the back seat with him for the hour and a half trip.  He laid across my lap.  The confused look he gave me when he had to get in her car and not mine... I was about to cry.  But he was being picked on here.  Him and Fez, that passive sweethearts.  I think Goofy and Zelda are just overwhelmed, getting old and just don't want younger dogs, or more dogs, around.  They are going to get their wish.  The insurance issue is unresolved and at this point, I just need to get the dogs moved.  If I can recruit more foster homes to cover just one or 2, then Ozark Dogs will survive.  Otherwise, it will just become a referral.  But I still need 8 dogs gone at minimum.  The outside yards need empty.  And such a shame.  They are big, beautiful yards.  Such a waste.  But with Loren's health and the insurance problem and people just not adopting, guess it's time to face an end to rescue as I have done it.  Things will just be different. 
     Thomas threw up again.  I looked it up.  Cause is empty stomach.  I just did not have time to walk him before I fed him this morning.  Since I broke a familiar routine, his bowl was still full at 2 p.m.  Took him for a walk and he got sick.  He was eating when I left him to come back to the house.  I had went down there to bring up Shela for Petunia to play with and got sidetracked when Thomas threw up.  It will just have to be tomorrow.  I am too tired to 'test the waters' this late in the day.  I know she will fit back in just fine.  That is not the issue.  I just know they will be so active I will be up all night. 
     Candy just called.  The meeting with Tucker and Arlo went great.  She is headed home to see if Wanda remembers Arlo.  They were great playmates.  It's only been a few weeks so hopefully they will just resume where they left off.   I'm going to stock up on as much dogs food as I can so next meeting I can get more up to her.  $10 a bag difference!!  I'm reading a good book on dog foods and nutrition and all the ugly stuff companies do with no regard to our dogs health just their own financial health.   I can't turn to home cooked for this many but I do plan to add some home cooked at least once a day to their kibble.  Of course, this is not going to help me avoid the toxins imported from China and other unfit for human consumption stuff the kibble contains. 
    Tree topper is coming soon.  We have a few trees I am very concerned with.  I'd hate to be canceled and then one of these monsters fall through the roof, or on our car, from a strong wind. 
10/17/12: Micah could not come today so that messed me up.  Spent hours digging through rescue email addresses seeing how they manage the homeowners insurance issue.  Got several leads and ideas.  Spent a lot of time on the phone trying to get the Akbash placed.  Loren had a doctors appointment in the afternoon, so we got some lunch and then went there.  Only gone about 2 hours but when we got home there had been another dog fight.  Arlo and Fez were the targets again.  It is not them against each other.  It had obviously just taken place when we pulled in.  Poor Hanna was shaking terribly.  It was like when she had those other episodes.  It must be triggered by fear.   Got everybody separated and hugged on her.  Checked chins for blood but nothing.  Just poor Arlo with his cheek bleeding.  Fez is so hairy that his skin was not reached.  We wiped plenty of slime off and nothing looked like blood.  We will meet Candy on Saturday and she will take Arlo.  It is for his protection.  I'm at a loss of how to protect Fez and who I am protecting him from; Zelda or Goofy.  Sissy can get pretty nasty, but she is old and smart enough to know she will not win against Fez.  She does not have the ambition either.  Getting up is about as much effort as she cares to exert.
     Huge storm hit around 5:00.  Only lasted about 2 hours but it was very loud, very bright and very wet.  I got the dogs fed just before it hit, thanks to Loren telling me it was on the way.  I went down and put a thunder shirt on Thomas.  He was huddles in his cubby hole.  The shirt helped.  After the storm I went down and took it off him.  That was about half an hour ago.  The sky is spectacular.  It is a Keeton sky.  A million stars so bright against the black.  No moon.  No clouds.  Just a sparkling in total emptiness.  I miss Keeton so much.  We would be out walking right now if he were here.  We had such a special bond.
     I would go back to bed but my space has been taken over.  No one has any intention of moving.  I would not dream of asking anyone to get off.  I'll just retrieve my pillow, if no one is using it, and curl up either with Loren or on the love seat.
10/16/12:  Zelda seems ok.  She had a low fever and is still limping a bit.  Took her in to the vet.  Of course once through the door she started walking on the leg just fine as if to say "See, mom, I'm fine, now lets go home".  We will treat for Ehrlichia.  It is getting so prevalent.  I'm just so worn out emotionally with everyone limping.  Hanna, Sissy, to be expected, Bear, Sahara, Zelda and occasionally Fez will trip and get his paws tangled up in each other.  Anyway, I got off really cheap today.  Just an office visit.  I have the Doxy and Maloxicam here.
     I'm trying to get through a book about dog food in hopes of making the right decision for these guys.  I would love to home cook, but just not the energy.  Value wise and price wise, it would not be any more expensive then a top grade kibble and would be more healthy.  Cooking for a few, no problem.  Cooking for an army, quite different.  Learning more and more about the way kibble manufacturers fudge on the truth about ingredients.  We think of beef as cow/steer meat.  They think of it as ANY thing on the cow/steer; hair, eyes, hooves, tail, internal organs... you get the idea.   And something "produced" or "made" in the US does not mean the ingredients came from the US, just means mixed together here.  Oh, I'm going to start to get political... time to switch brain flow.
     Hanna is enjoying her new sleeping arrangement.  Sissy is not so happy sharing the bed with her, but after 2 nights, she is learning she has no choice.  It does get a wee bit un-nerving though, when Arlo climbs on and Petunia is already there and I'm trapped and the growling begins.  I have a plan in my mind.  Retreat under the covers and cover myself with pillows and yell my head off to 'stop'.  Lousy plan, but with no escape route, best I can do.   
10/15/12:  Beautiful weather today.  Everyone got walked, but Bear is still limping and now Zelda can hardly walk.  I suspect she hurt her leg.  It does not look like a foot issue.  Maybe a shoulder.  She won't let me near her.  If I head towards her, she gets up and goes out the door.  I know she is really hurting so I don't want her to aggravate it by getting up and hobbling off.  I'll get her into the vet tomorrow.  She just had blood work of all kinds a few months ago so won't do that again.  Probably be x-rays.  I sure hope it is not a torn knee (what ever the technical name).  I just got a nice donation.  Seems it always coincides with something to use it up before I can relax with a small balance in the account.  I am very worried.
    The Akbash was urgent again.  Got a call this morning.  Have someone to take him.  They are driving to meet "Dog" and the owner tomorrow.  I did not check them out.  If he went to the HS or AC, he would not have much chance getting out alive, let alone having anyone actually check out an adopter.  I just said a prayer for Dog and put the 2 people together. 
    Did not hear anything about the insurance.  I do need to get the rescue insurance in place tomorrow.  Today was just crazy, non-stop.  Tomorrow is going to be busy too now with Zelda.  As soon as all the dogs get in tonight, I'm closing the gate so she does not go try to chase anything off.   Getting dark, so guess I better go out there with treats and start getting everybody in.  They love this weather and prefer to stay outside but they will have to settle for laying on the deck.
10/13/12:  Evening: Got half the dogs walked.  I ran out of energy doing it by myself.  Took Ash to the park this morning.  He did good.  Met several dogs and was very polite to them.  Weighed him at the vets; 99.9 lbs.  Think I will cut back just a little on the food so he will hold that weight.  He looks just right. 
    Storm expected tonight.  I worry.  Thomas, Shela and Emily are all afraid of storms.  There is nothing I can do to help.  Thomas has his cubby hole but that metal roof is so loud.  Shela goes in an igloo rather then the big dog house.  Emily just cowers next to Custard.  Rescue is not so good.  They need HOMES!!! 
10/12/12:  It's pouring rain and thunder and lightening.  7:15 and still dark.  I was waiting for enough light to see to go out and feed.  Now I will be drenched. 
    Noon:  Got my bed down for Hanna to be able to get on.  I will need to go find some bunky boards for support as the bed legs are massive round and the box springs would not fit between them.  The best laid plans....   Also moved around the good TV so Loren would have it in his room.  We never watched it in the computer room.  Gave the old 36" to Micah.  It works great but have to have that converter box.  It was really heavy!  Anyway, seems like the more changes, the more excess stuff we end up with.  The box springs are piled on the table down in the shop.  Turned them cross ways so it made a 'den' for Thomas.  He likes cubby holes, specially in bad weather.
    This insurance thing is making me desperate & angry.  The whole world just seems like a bunch of 'give me' idiots.  Survivalists have the right idea but they get a bad name because they aren't dependent nor contributors to the government. 
      Evening:  Sweetness managed to get Bears door open while I was in the computer room.  I heard her barking and then next thing I knew she was in with me.  There was Bear, in my bedroom!  There was Zelda in the kitchen.  Bear had to walk right by her to get into my room.  No one seemed to notice but me.  I'm just not calm enough to let it play out.  If it went terribly wrong, Loren would surely have a heart attack from which he would not recover.   I calmly but quickly shut my bedroom door.
10/11/12:  Usually when I get a dog altered, I leave it over night.  Emily did not stop barking since he left this morning so I was there at 3:00 to pick up Custard and bring him home.  No way did I want to listen to her all night as well.  I did put Arlo down there with her for a few hours and that helped.  Poor Custard looks loopy.  They didn't charge me for the pain shot so I don't know if he got it or not.  I gave him a tramadol with dinner.  Figured he needed it. 
    The nightly song fest has just begun.  I do wish I could record it.  There is no exact schedule so never know exactly what time it will begin.  And I never know how long it will last.  Usually a full minute but sometimes several.  It it runs much over 2 1/2 minutes, the length of the average song, I give a loud "Hush" and it tapers off.  And then we get the evening deer feeding on the front lawn.  That is just plain barking.  No harmony.  No howling.  No shrieking... yes, Goofy shrieks.  If we had to rate their melodic talent from 1 to 10, ten being Elvis, Goofy would come in at a one.   Zelda is about an 8.  Bear needs a category all his own.  I have still never heard Arlo utter a sound...  well, aside from a very loud snoring when he is very deeply asleep.  Petunia makes up for it.
    Met with the insurance agent.  It is not looking good.  We could lose our homeowners insurance.  Talked to a few other rescues and they are or have been in the same mess.   Becoming non-profit was the worst mistake I ever made.  Trying to do good things and you just get beat down.  Maybe all us rescues need a class action against insurance companies for discrimination against dog rescues.  Hell, they insure puppy mills.  Sure seems valid to me. 
10/10/12:  They were too quiet last night.  I kept wondering if they were all right.  All of them.  I even turned on the outside lights just to be sure Custard and Emily were still where they belonged.  I'm sure they are enjoying the cool nights, being able to lay up on the hill.  Maybe they didn't have any deer crossing through.  Yesterday just before dusk some idiot hunters were shooting real close.  This is all private land in a subdivision and most lots are just 2 acres unlike our 6 plus 7.  Any one who needs to fire 40 rounds (yes, I counted) should not have a gun!!!  If you can't connect with the first 2 or 3 shots, then you are a big danger to everything that lives and breaths.  I was so tempted to grab my gun and go run them off, but I knew I would end up in jail.  I'm not a 'good ol boy' and I'm sure they are.  A 30-30 can travel approx 2 miles (over 10,000 feet) while a 30-06 goes more then 3  (over 16,000 feet).  Two acres, if only 100 feet wide would only be 872 feet long.  That bullet could pass through a lot of private and occupied property.  No stopping it until it impacts.  So shooting about 2,000 feet down the road from me potentially puts me and my dogs in danger.  Some of my family were deer hunters until they each had their own heart wrenching experience.  Now they respect deer (and antelope and elk) for the beautiful, gentle creatures they are.
    Well, I missed my opportunity to sleep.  It's almost 6 a.m.  It was after midnight before I dozed off and was back up 'checking' around 3.  Guess I'll make some 'just add water' muffins for breakfast and get dressed while they bake.
10/9/12:  OK, peeing in other dogs bowls.  I sort of get it.  Peeing in your own bowl once it is empty.  I sort of get it.  But taking deliberate aim and pooping in the flower pot.... No, I don't get it.   This is one of those tall green plastic ones.  I think they call them 'gallon' size.  Only thing growing in it is weeds.  Left over from a rose bush I planted and just never got around to tossing.  I'm not exactly sure what to do with it now.  Kick it in the ditch and hope a big rain washes it away.  And no, I'm not telling who.  I want this guy adopted and he does not need this stigma (or visual) attached to him.
     Everyone got walked this morning.  Although we still have some tugging, I am seeing an improvement in the 'brown 4' (Ash, Ashina, Shela and Penny).  Micah is coming 2 1/2 hrs Mon, Wed, & Fri now.  I can't afford it financially, but physically (and emotionally) I can't afford not to.  Just not having to poop scoop (every other day in winter works fine) and only having to do water once on the off days really helps in giving me the time to I need to clean up the new winter messes of mud the house dogs drag in.
     The love seat and car were way overdue for a good scrubbing.  I don't have any decent leather cleaner so I just used an abrasive sponge and Simple Green.   Love seat is dark brown but the mud and dirt from many dogs and hours of them laying on it still shows.   Hopefully I did a good job.  It's covered with a quilt now.  Same quilt I use to always have on it before when Penny was at the house and began pulling it off.  Then I scrubbed the back seats of the car.  There was still blood on them from Fez and Arlo's emergency.  Also a bag full of dog hair on the floor.  It's not all that clean but a whole lot better.  I just ran out of energy. 
     I'd like to go to the shop and work on mattress covers to sell.   The ones for the crib mattresses for dog beds.  I got quite a few pieces of great upholstery fabric at the thrift store.  I ordered elastic locally.  Ordering online, I would not be sure I was getting the right thing.   Sewing is my relaxation and I just have not had 'me' time. 
    The tractor repair place is going to bring the tractor over for us.  That is so nice of them.  It would be at least 6 weeks before Loren would be able to drive to haul it.  No way I would want to.  That thing is heavier then the SUV.  Lose the slightest control on a curve and it would be driving us into a ditch and rolling us over.  
10/7/12: Having dogs, you learn that nothing is impossible or 100% preventable.  No matter how high up you put something, if they really want it, they will find a way to get it.  Child proof cabinets?  Maybe.  Dog proof? Doubtful. (No, Goofy, the leashes are no longer in the drawer).  Take nothing for granted.  Because the doggie ear cleaner is something they all hate in their ears does not mean they won't eat the bottle. (yes, thank you Petunia).  You think you have a door closed securely.  They have been watching Star Trek re-runs.  "Beam me through the door, Scotty"  (Yes, thank you Fez).   Pest control... no, not doggie past, but critter pest.  Faithful application of DE on the ground has made my doggie world flea and tick free.   That is until somebody goes on a scouting trip and brings home foreigners.  (Yes, thank you Custard.   Advantix poison company thanks you.  However Emily does not thank you nor do the hand picked, death by rock crushed ticks thank you nor does the 'picker').  When doing what you consider a favor, expect to be thanked.  Leaving a door open so Thomas could have more warmth last night resulted in presents in the form of... lets just say "not something I particularly wished to clean up".   Thomas is still pouting because Loren has not been down there to hold his paw for some time.  (Dogs don't understand "flu" and "broken wrist").  Then there is 'rules' but they don't apply to dogs.  Rules like "wipe the mud off your shoes before coming inside"  They don't have 'shoes' so how could it possibly apply to them?  And don't come to bed dirty. (Thank you Arlo and Sissy). And Don't talk loudly after bed time.  But then human 'bed time' does not apply to dogs, particularly LGDs.  Thank you everybody!!) And don't be a bully.  Laying across the doggie door entrance or grumping at whom ever wants in is considered being a bully.   Especially when it is raining.  (Thank you Zelda and Sahara).  
      It's barely 10 a.m. and I'm ready to go back to bed.  Too much adventure for one morning. 
10/6/12:  Another day I would just as soon have skipped.  Bear started limping really bad last night.  I cleaned mud out of his paw and checked him for lumps.  He did not want me touching his paw.  I had him at the vets when they opened.  Rob took x-rays and did blood work.  Hips look fine.  Amazing since 6 1/2 years ago he was in dire need of hip replacement.  Thank you Janice for that avoidance.   Rob thinks it could be Ehrlichia so he's on Pred and Doxy.  Blood work showed 2 lows.  I said I'd deal with the bill Monday when Sahara goes in.  Fortunately I got a donation that will cover about half Bears bill. 
    Anyway I went and brought him home.  He was so glad to get out of there, he almost forgot he was in pain.  He is a "left leg hiker" and since the hurt is his right, he almost toppled over when he hiked to go pee.  He ended up just stretching out and not raising a leg.  Obviously he is not ambidextrous.   While he was gone, I had some calls so forgot I was switching out his crate.  He loves his little crate but afraid it would hinder the comfort of the leg and hip.  Once he was unloaded, I had to grab up the small one and get it out of his room.  Brought up the big one with a soft pad and a quilt.  He curled up in it before I even got the top on it.  Went to get his pills and could not remember where I put them.  Ran out to the car, little ice crystals falling from the sky.  Found the meds and realized I had left the keys in the house.  In my haste to get under cover, I banged my shin on the car door.  Ran back in, grabbed the keys and got the car into the garage.  Came back in and could not find the meds that I had just brought in.  The eyeball flood gates were just about to break loose.  Loren is calling needing my help.  I don't have time to cry.
     Already changed sheets on both beds and mattress covers and completed 5 loads of laundry.  Three to go.  I had not put the sheets back on my bed.  When I opened my door, all the dogs came rushing in and Petunia, Sweetness and Arlo jumped right up.  I did not intend to wash the mattress pad.  I just shooed everybody off and moved the bench.  Pulled the pad off and shook the dirt off.  Put it back on.  Petunia demonstrated her Evil Knievel ability to leap the Snake River in a single bound.  (only she succeeded). I had pushed the bench a good 4' away from the bed but darned if she didn't make it look like the simplest feat known to dogkind.  Got her off, every body out and closed the door.  Made the bed and the blanket is drying.  Then I will open the door, they will all rush in and jump on the bed.  They won't bother to wipe their paws, or bellies or chins.  At least not until they are on the bed.  That is just the way life is around here.  I don't clean for me.  I clean for the dogs. 
10/5/12:  The pain meds and the numbing shot wore off around 10 p.m.  They put a safety cap on his pain pills so he woke me up.  It had only been 3 hours since he had some so I told him not until 1:00.  Not a lot of sleep for either of us. 
    He says the wrap is really uncomfortable, not like the wrap they had on it in Harrison.  I'll call the doctor this morning.  I'm sure they will basically say it is just the way it is.  Six weeks of the wrap hurting him is not going to cut it.  If I have to, I'll get a second opinion before I let it go. 
    Hate getting up before sun up.  But if I don't start at 7:00 a.m. I just won't get done.  Micah comes at 8 again today.  I had to have help.  Sure hurts the finances but no choice.  And Sahara goes to the vet Monday.  I canceled before and just can't put it off any longer. 
10/4/12:  Custard was up on the road last night at 11 p.m.  I can almost understand the dogs language.  It is strange how I can know that they are barking at a deer, a skunk (even before it perfumes the air), a person, the moon, a stray dog or a dog that belongs.  I just knew they were barking at Custard so grabbed the keys and drove up the hill.  Sure enough, he was hiding in the trees.  He was so scared.  I had to lift him in the SUV and he just laid there and shook until I got him out and he knew he was 'home'.  Emily greeted him.  I got his dinner for him and then they curled up together and went to sleep.  It was a happy ending to a very scary 15 hours.
     Now I am sitting here a nervous wreck not knowing about Loren.  We went in to the hospital at 7:45 as directed.  They said he was not on the schedule so they could not do any of his pre-surgery tests.  He was scheduled for surgery at 8:30.  It was right on our paper work.  It became a finger pointing between the hospital and the doctor office.  By 8:45 the hospital gal was saying it could be an hour or it could be "10" hours.  I don't have a lot of patience when it comes to this kind of crap.  I loaded him up and we left.  He is diabetic and he can't be going without food for an undetermined time.  He could go into diabetic shock or what ever they call it if he has to sit around too long.  Anyway, the doctor called him personally and said to come back, that it was straightened out.  He had me just drop him off.  I really did not want to do that.  I really wanted to be with him, even though he'd be in another room and I'd just be in a waiting room.  Anyway, I had dogs to feed and Emily and Custard to supervise.  Micah can do everything else, but E & C won't let him in to change their water and poop scoop if I am not there.  I know none are going to starve to death, but any upset in their routine really causes a whole household upset. 
10/3/12: Loren's surgery is tomorrow morning.
    Custard got out again this morning and has been gone all day.  I am worried sick something bad has happened to him. 
     Got Emily to the vet.   She is healthy, thank God.  Poor thing curled in my lap and just shook all the way to the vet. 
     Time to go feed and then have a nervous break down.
Evening:  I drove for over an hour looking.  I keep looking out the window hoping Custard will be standing there wanting in the yard with Emily.  She cries and howls.  She is just laying there depressed now.  I would move her in with Thomas, but then Custard might not see her if he comes back and then leave.  This is just tearing me up.  I just feel he is hurt and dying and I have no way of finding him.  There is just so much undeveloped land it is impossible to really see where he might be.  I have not heard any shots, but then I was gone with Loren to the doctors the first few hours he was missing.  I am totally sick to my stomach worrying about him.  He is so scared of everything.  He would never let anyone touch him.  I have not even had a chance to microchip him, but he does have my tag on him if he does not lose his collar.  
10/2/12:  I don't know where to begin...  Loren broke both main bones in his wrist today.  I can't find Micah's phone number to call him.  Custard got out while we were in Harrison in the ER.  He was back covered in purple.  I don't know if it is poison or what.  Was after 5 and I just can't afford another vet emergency call, besides I can't load him by myself anyway.  I had to cancel his neuter for tomorrow since I have no help.  Rowdy has issues I was totally unaware of.  Petunia has now taken to getting on Lorens desk and stealing mail and what ever else she can chew up.  Not sure what is missing. Loren will probably have surgery on his wrist in the morning.  I can't deal with anything right now.  I just feel like running away but everybody needs me and I love them all too much to jump ship.  Can't someone PLEASE foster some dogs for a month until Loren can use his wrist. 
9/29/12:  It was a great day.  Candy and Tina came last night and stayed.  Althea and Ilse came up this morning.  Lots of conversation and lots of dog interaction.  It was the most fun I had in a long time.  We plan to do it again in a few months.  Next time at Candys'.  
     Bear had his turn in the beginning.  He needs new experiences.  He has no issues with people.  He did bail on me when I tried to get a mat out of his 'pantaloons'.  When Althea and Rowdy arrived, I swapped dogs around.  Brought Wanda in to meet Rowdy since they were sharing a ride later.  Wanda was good, just not sure of him.  She tried to escape him a few times.  He is a cute baby.  Caught on to playing with a toy and a ball.   After lunch, I let the rest of the dogs in.  Rowdy decided Petunia was a good choice for a friend.  She is smaller then he is and he took full advantage.  Pix
9/28/12:  Doesn't anyone READ what they sign, even after I point out certain things?  It's time for 3 of the "Flippin" puppies to be altered.  (I made a calculation error on the first 2 agreements so they have longer).  So far one; no response.   One excuse where they made up a lie that the vet wouldn't do it. (I called the vet).  And one was very efficient and got it done, but in the process had the double dews removed.  A huge violation of the contract.  I also called the vet and the vet did not make that recommendation.  It was purely the adopters idea.  I am devastated.  I've seen Pyrs develop leg issues from them being removed.  I am just sick about it.  You don't cut off your big toe because you might stub it someday!  I can't do this anymore.  I can't deal with half the people.  It is just too stressful. 
      No matter how hard I try, I'm going to make mistakes, or people are going to change.  I have these dogs lives and futures in my hands.  They have no say in the matter.  Not completely, anyway.  Some do pick or reject certain people.  Case in point, Petunia, who is totally housebroke, came in a peed on the rug in front of a potential adopter.  Guess it was her way of saying she was not ready to leave. 
    What keeps me going is some very special adopters, current and past.  They did not adopt a dog.  They adopted a furry family member.   And the enthusiasm when they tell me all about this child of theirs is so rewarding and gets me through each day. 
    But then there is the 'lost' ones.  People move and neglect to notify me.  They go to cell phones and no way to find them.  And I grieve and worry.  It's ok if the dog died in their arms from old age or what ever.  Doing this for 9 years, many have crossed the rainbow bridge.  But I want to know.  And I especially want to know that they did not get dumped or passed to someone who didn't take proper care of them.  That is the hard part.  I don't forget any of them.  Every single one was and still is important to me. 
    Guess I will see if anyone moved so I have room to get back on the bed. (it's now 3:55 a.m.)  It gets really crowded when Sissy and Wanda are up there.  Wanda sure knows how to stretch out.  Petunia just curls into a little ball and does not move all night.  Wanda lays across her sometimes and I'm afraid she will smother her.  But I guess Petunia would protest if she was in danger.  Sadly, Sweetness will not come up when Wanda is there.  Wanda leaves this weekend so Sweetness will have her spot back. 
9/26/12:  Petunia and Sissy were playing on the bed together this morning.  That is totally strange.  Sissy will tease play a little, but to do it with Petunia.  It was great. 
    Not accomplishing much this morning.  We did get the tractor onto the trailer.  It's broke so will take it in for repair later today.  Micah is walking the dogs.  Told him to take the 4 one at a time and work with them.  When that is finished, I'll go out and help with Emily and Custard.  We have to get them friendly to men. 
    Evening:  Micah made progress with Emily and Custard this morning.  We walked all the dogs and they saw quite a few pass by so think they are learning this is an activity they want involved in.  Time slipped away so they did not get a walk, but I went in with Micah and then left him in while I ran up to the house.  They warmed up to him.  I feel really great about such quick progress. 
    This many dogs is really draining me.  I keep thinking I need to ease up on my requirements, but then I know I would be miserable compromising.  After all, I hold their future in my hands.  Anything less then them being loved like family (which means being in the house) will just not do.  I am in an emotionally impossible situation. 
    My frequent 'naps' last night were not enough to get any real rest.  It looks like some rain so that should help... but then I lay awake if it thunders worrying about Thomas.  He gets so scared.  But my back just can't handle a lot of time on a crib mattress on the floor.  Wiping buckets of drool as it drips on my face is not something I'd be real keen on either.  I'd do it if I have to.  But got to get over this cough and achy feeling first. 
9/25/12:  Three people walking 17 dogs takes a little over 2 hours even some 'doubling up'.  By the time that is done, dogs are fed and yards cleaned, etc. it's after 11:00 and I'm beat.  Then I still have 2 more to walk because Emily and Custard are still too much for Betty to handle.  We sat with them for awhile before Betty left.  They eventually let her pet them but only when I folded my arms and quit.   This is going to be a very slow process. 
    Petunia and Wanda are sure going to miss each other.  I really think Candy needs to take Petunia also even though I would really miss my snuggly bed partner.  I just adore that little dog.  But they are so good for each other.  Wanda is still learning to be a dog and Petunia is the perfect teacher.  A few minutes ago they were on the bed with Loren wrestling.  Wanda is so gentle with her.  But Petunia is one tough little girl.
     Several deer in the front yard this morning as every morning.  I finally got out with the camera.  Posted to my FB page. 
     Thomas had to have an evening walk.  At least he thought so.  those sad eyes.  Then he decided he was too tired or it was too hot to walk back up the hill.  We had a discussion but he really didn't "get it".  I think he thought I should carry him or bring the car around to drive him back.  He is so expressive.  Old dogs just are.  They are like wise old grandpas who want to tell their stories and teach us things, but in the rocking chair on the front porch.   I was down in the shop with him for about 4 hours making dog bed covers.  He would come over and just stand staring at me until I'd stop and pet him awhile.  Then he'd go lay down. 
     I got 5 more dog mattress covers finished.  Have material for 5 or 6 more.  Need to repair one made a few weeks ago.  Someone had a tug of war with it and it lost.  It was heavy denim so strange they managed to tear it like they did. 
9/24/12:  If I could quit coughing, I'd be almost back to normal.  Doing a full days work despite the lingering signs of what ever I had. 
     Custard and Emily arrived Sunday.  They were going to be here Saturday, but they tried for several hours and failed to get them loaded.  I reached out for help for Sunday morning and had some lined up, but they were successful without it.  The dogs are small enough and her son's big enough, I don't see where the problem was.  Oh well, they are here and I have my work cut out for me.  They have lived in one family isolation.  No outside experiences.  No walks,  No car rides.  No vet visits.  No doggie games like chase or stuffy toy.  I have a long road ahead...  They are beautiful dogs and issues can be fixed.  Hopefully I will get on the right track right away.  Got an email ready for Karen to ask for advise before I end up going the wrong direction.  Custard still needs neutered.  That is set for a week from Wednesday.  I needed time to teach him riding in a car is ok.  He may think I am a huge liar when he realizes that ride resulted in the loss of his....  :-)
    Micah had a reasonable explanation for not coming to my rescue (no pun intended) on Thursday.   He really is an asset.  I watched him today when he didn't know I could see him and he really is great with the dogs.  A lot of patience.  I just have to keep reminding myself he is only 21 years old.  
    This will be a busy week.  I am having lots of company Saturday and I am excited.  Candy and Tina are coming Friday night and spend the night.  They will help out and later take Wanda and Rowdy home.  Althea is bringing up Rowdy that morning.  And Ilse who adopted Tokota is coming for a visit.  It will be great for everyone to meet each other.  I'll make some beef stew in the crock pot so we can eat when ever we feel like it.   I rarely have human company that I can feel totally relaxed around.  We are all dog fanatics. 
9/21/12:  Two days ago right after the 'sun came up' Loren was kind enough to share his virus with me.  By 2 in the afternoon, I thought I was going to die.  Yesterday afternoon called for an ambulance.  It was definitely the right thing to do.  I should have insisted Loren do the same when he first got this, but he wouldn't.  Five hours and two of those big fluid IV bags later and several other things, I was ready to go home.  They wanted to keep me, but I had dogs to feed.  Loren had called Micah to do it and he said he'd come as soon as he could but he never showed up.  He's fired.  If I can't count on him in an emergency, then I need to train someone else. 
    It is 5:30 a.m. and a huge storm just hit.  I had no idea it was coming.  If I was still not so sick, I'd be out there checking on the outside dogs.  I just can't risk back sliding on this virus.  Thomas has got to be totally freaking in the shop.  The metal roof just magnifies everything so much.  This is one time I have to put me first as I am no good to any of them if I am down again.
9/19/12:  Wanda's lump was a cyst.  That is good, rather then a tumor.  Drained it, but I do not have the resources for it's removal.  Mostly the time and diligence for bandage changes every other day.  Now Bear is limping.  He will be 8 years old in Jan.  Not the paw.  He was tender when I touched his upper leg.  I can't afford to take him in so hope it heals it's self in the next few days.  Sahara has not gotten in for her lump to be checked.  Thomas and Petunia will both need re-checks of their blood work (another $160 to $300) Hanna continues to have tremors but an MRI is out of the question as in her hip replacement.   Actual vet services since Aug. 19 have been over $3000.  Not all are paid.   Not all have been posted so not sure of the exact amount.  I had 2 nice donations in this time period and it was like some evil spirit went around making my dogs sick or hurt just to eat it up ( and then some) before I could use any for dogs food.  There is a Grant Writing seminar on the 23rd so hope I learn something from it.  I am just not a paper work person.  My reading comprehension sucks. 
     Sun is up.  I'm running late this morning.  I should be out feeding by now. 
9/17/12:  Long day.  Yesterday was really long.  Dog fight.  Emergency vet visit.  Arlo looks terrible.  Fez is pretty beat up too.  I know they were not into it with each other.  Someone else is guilty.  I suspect Zelda but no way to know.  I took "chin swabs" for blood evidence while getting ready to get to the vet.  Took Arlo first.  Long story short, with 8 vets at the clinic, why can't they have a back up vet on call?  I was pretty pissed that we got there, the on call was there, but she left for another call and we had to wait for over an hour.    We went home to wait as it's only about 10 minutes away.  I was just so worried there was damage to Arlo's eye and filling up with blood and running down his muzzle was very scary.  He was so good once he was seen and cleaned up.   Because of Fez being so big, he needed to be sedated so he stayed the night. 
     Loren took Arlo home as both dogs would not fit in the car.  We didn't know at that point Fez would be staying.  While I waited for Loren to come get me, I stood out near the road in the driveway of the clinic.  I knew I had blood on my shirt and pants but didn't really give it much thought.  Well, a State Trooper whipped around and came back and pulled up to me.  He was concerned that I was all right.  I did not realize I had blood on my face too.  I explained about the dogs.  He was so nice.
     Both dogs are a little sore but almost back to normal.  I let Zelda back in this morning and after being corrected for one very ferocious growl, she settled down and has been fine all day.  
     Tomorrow someone is coming to meet Petunia.  Wednesday Jean is going to have to get her Labs to Branson to the foster home.  I just cannot do it.  Loren has been sick all day and even if he feels fine by Wednesday, 6 hours gone is too long.   Not sure what day the puppy is coming.  Probably Saturday and then I will take him and Wanda to meet up with Candy.  Wanda will go to her and the pup to Betsy.  Got to get some adopted.  Just too many for winter... Just too many, period. 
9/16/12:  Still have a guilty conscience for my selfishness.  Wanda and Shela are still in the yard behind the house.  But peace in the house has been so wonderful.  Despite the rain, I cleaned floors for 4 hours yesterday.  I only got 2/3 finished with the livingroom but that part looks great.  I just mopped the rest.  Out of energy and every muscle aches this morning.  I must do the kitchen floor today even if it is just to mop it.  I love a big open house, but add 11 or more dogs and it is a chore beyond comprehension to keep reasonably presentable.  Mud, leaves, drool... lest I forget hair!  Anyway, I still need Petunia out to make things better for Fez.  She steals his squeaky toys and destroys them in minutes.  He looks so sad all the time because they are his greatest pleasure.  I just do not know how to break her of destroying them while still letting her play with them.  I guess it is a hound thing.
     I dread this week.  A lot of driving ahead shuffling dogs.  Worn out just thinking of it.  I'm making an 87 year old lady happy but in the process I am losing a foster and gaining a dog that I have no where to put.  Maxwell is a beautiful, young boy but my other males are not going to welcome another male.  Shela will surely corrupt him like she is doing to Wanda.  Shela is a great little dog, she just is too smart and too energetic. 
9/14/12:  They were quiet.  Petunia slept curled up on my pillow next to my head.  She is a great bed partner.  Arlo was up for awhile.  He is like Bear in that when the petting stops, he gets down. 
     I need to call Marianne to bring over a cat for cat testing.  I remember cat testing Ash but need to cat test Ashina too.  I'll test a few others while she is here.   I desperately need some applicants I can feel good about adopting to.  Today is no better emotionally then yesterday or the day before, etc.  I can not have harmony in the house pack if I am a total basket case.  They feed off my feelings.  They are all confused and think they need to help.  They just don't know what the help is.   Their decision of how to 'reduce my numbers' is not exactly in conjunction with mine. 
9/13/12:  I am so sick of dealing with self centered blowhards.  Of people who brag about all they will do for you and then not only do nothing but in doing so create a hardship.  Luckily there are wonderful people who outnumber those.  People who don't promise anything but then totally surprise you with their thoughtfulness, generosity, sincerity and above all, friendship.
    Took Hanna in to the vet today.  She had another shaking episode.  I don't think they are seizures, at least as I think of seizures.  She was totally coherent and functional, just shaking uncontrollably, like twitching motion.   Blood work, blood work and more blood work.  The 2 in-house panels were great.  Be middle of next week before we get the results of the thyroid one.  So much for buying a month of dog food.  That wiped out almost 2 weeks.  Week before, Hanna's x-rays and Thomas's vet bills wiped out the other 2 weeks.  It is like some force is watching the check book so it can never quite stay at a happy amount for more then a day.  Sahara's lump and Wanda's lump will just have to wait.  I'm almost afraid to brush any of them or run my hands over them incase someone else comes up with something.  I did notice a strange little ball like a beebee on Petunias belly under the skin tonight.  It moved like it is just floating in there.  I don't even want to go there.  She did not complain when I touched it. 
     Wanda got too jealous of Sahara tonight so she and Shela are together again only in the yard behind the house.  Petunia wanted to go with, not realizing it was not to be undone later.  I finally convinced her to come back to the house with me.   I hope they do not bark.  I am really falling apart.  Some of these dogs have got to either get adopted or go to a foster home.  I cannot do 18 dogs almost completely by myself.  Not fair to the dogs either.   
    It is dark.  The squeaky toy is in full bravado.  Not sure if it is in Fez's mouth or Petunia's.  Best check as if it is in Petunias mouth, the squeaks are screams for help.
9/12/12:  It has been 15 hours and I am still fuming.  When I went back into Hardees to get the hamburger for the dog, the old toothless employee (she really should get dentures) was busy filling an order while 3 teenagers in uniform were standing to the side of the counter.  I looked at one and said "I just need a burger patty for that dog".  Her response "I'm not on the clock".  Three minutes later she swiped her card.  I was watching the clock which must be set early because I can't imagine a shift starting at 3:32.  Would it have killed her to holler back "I need a burger patty" one minute early?  Is it any wonder our country is going elsewhere for workers?  I like Micah, the young man I hired for a few hours a week to help me with the dogs, but his texting is driving me nuts.  I told him Monday "No texting on my dime".   He obviously did not get it.  Last week I had him construct a deck for the dogs.  I knew the way he was doing it, it would not hold up.  I also know the mind set of a 20 year old.  They still know it all.  It had totally collapsed over the weekend, just 3 days after he built it.  This time I told him how to do it.  It took much longer (5 hours vs 2 hours the first time) and way longer then it should have.  Today, if he shows up, the cell is staying in the car.  I docked him for the time he spent on the first build.  I felt that was fair.  If you are hired to do something and it's done wrong, then you need to be responsible for getting it right.  If I had been a hard ass, I'd of not paid him for the rebuild.  But he is a good kid and dependable... just that cell phone. 
     Well, I have been up since around 2 a.m.  Helping the lady with her dogs is driving me, both to help and to exhaustion.  I came up with this totally crazy, totally far fetched idea yesterday.  I don't want to get political here but my idea involves politics.  (Hey, we stretch all boundaries when it's to save a dog).  I'm playing the percentages.  Romney is dropping in the polls.  He lost support of dog lovers when he refused to admit he was wrong to put his dog on the roof of his car.  The middle class feels he is totally out of touch with reality.  I did some Republican committee searches.  I came up with some local names that are real 'movers and shakers'.  I have phone numbers.  I am going to call one when the hour is respectful.  My presentation:  My plan will guarantee Romney 2% points in the polls.  It could easily swing 10 million voters.  Dog lovers and senior citizens who are leaning to Obama (for reasons stated above).  Get this elderly lady AND her 2 dogs on a private plane to California so the dogs can get to the foster home and her to her son's and they can go together.  Can you imagine how all the media will jump on this?  He will get way more in free publicity and hero worship then the fuel and costs of that plane would be.   I'm long overdue for a miracle.  After all, why enter a race if you plan to quit half way to the finish line.
9/11/12:  Now that Arlo discovered he could get out, he keeps doing it.  Three times in the middle of the night the dogs let me know "someone is on the other side of the fence".  After the first Arlo sighting, I knew to call for him the rest of the times.  He must know his name by now as he came quickly.  The fourth time I was out there looking, turning on the yard light and with one of those mega flashlights.  He was in the yard on the hill.   Needless to say, I am again exhausted from stress and lack of sleep.  This is like a snowball rolling down a hill heading right at me.  It just keeps gaining size and momentum and I know I'm going to be wiped out, no way to stop it and no where to run. 
    Evening:  Long and sad day.  I had someone come over to meet Hanna and Wanda.  I was feeling really good about them.  They were very excited.  Then they called only a few minutes after leaving and changed their minds.  I had already started their reference checks and was on the phone with their vet when they left the message.  Guess it was not meant to be.  Sure a big let down.  Wanda would have been a good match.
     I spent about 20 minutes in the hot sun in Hardees parking lot trying to entice a young GSD pup that was running at large.  Shared my hamburger and then went in and bought another one for it.  I was so close.  I knew I only had one shot at slipping the lead over it's neck and I blew it.  Just not fast in my old age.  I knew I was not going to get another chance.  Apparently it was a 'regular' in their parking lot.  It could get run over so easily.  The employees said the owner was around the corner.  If they were good owners... well you know the rest.  I guess it was not meant to be this time.  
    Thomas ate really good tonight so I took down more food.  I hate to put too much out at a time because he slimes it so much and then he won't/can't eat it.  It is like covered in goo.  His drool is so thick that when I clean his water, the drain clogs and I have to force hot water down it.  Serious.  
    It is getting late and Petunia is letting me know it is time to come into the house for the night.  It is the routine now.  Out in the day and in at night.  It will be that way until there is either total peace (with them in all the time) or another fight (where they will have to stay out.
9/10/12:  Today got better after a really rough start.  I brought the 3 play crazies back up sometime between 10:30 and midnight last night.  I knew I could not leave them down there.  Bear was in my room so the doors were closed.  They were just happy to be back in the house.  I got up before dawn to start getting ready to walk dogs.  I knew Petunia would escape and follow so I ran half outside and leashed her, Sissy, Sahara and somebody else (shows how bad my brain is getting.)  Got past the corner and here comes Arlo!!  Of course, having Petunia with, I didn't think a spare leash was important.  Did an immediate about face and headed back to the house.  I was terrified some idiot would come flying down the road and hit him.  Well, we turned in at the house and he just kept going!  I rushed them into the house and didn't even both to unleash them.  Just grabbed one off someone's neck and ran out the door.  He was having a great adventure.  I followed him down to the lower intersection when I finally got him to come to me.  I do not walk this way because the hill is horrid.  It is just one of those angles that puts a strain on every leg and back muscle.  By the time we got back to the house, I was both physically and emotionally exhausted.  Then I don't know why, but a 4 dog dogfight broke out.  Don't even remember the sequence (had to ask Loren if it was this morning or yesterday. I'm so brain dead).  Sissy, Zelda, Fez and somebody else was involved.  Shela, I think.  Just know it was 4.  I think Petunia accidentally stepped on Sissy.  Sissy went after Petunia.  Zelda jumped in to take on Sissy.  Fez just jumped in to jump in, I guess.  I just remember shoving Sissy into the family room.   Getting a leash on Fez so Loren could try to keep him out of the way. Zelda into my bedroom.  Shela outside.  Oh, and Goofy was getting his growls in.  I do remember Sahara, Hanna and Arlo headed for a safe corner.  By now, with the escape and chase and fight, I am ready to go somewhere and scream as loud as I can. 
      When Micah came, we walked Bear and his buddies but Goofy, Fez, and Hanna were out of luck. (I remember, I had Zelda with first trip). I put Petunia, Shela and Wanda in the yard behind the house again.  I just needed to have less dogs right then.  Put Bear and his buddies in the house and ran the others over to his side for almost the entire day. 
    It is evening and the outside dogs are fed.  Petunia is not howling YET!   I suspect when the sun goes down, she will start.  I still need to feed the house dogs.  I may set up bed in the family room incase Petunia starts, so I can't hear her.  It breaks my heart but I need some sleep and 13 dogs is just too many.  
    I am working on several angles for the elderly lady with the 2 senior labs.  I am making progress.  People are really reaching out.  Have several possibilities locally but working on trying to find a foster in California who would be close enough for her to go visit them.  The doggie gods seem to be smiling on them so far.  Keep praying.
9/9/12:  Total meltdown.  Second day in a row Loren has not gotten out of bed.  I'm stressed which is only making the dogs difficult.  I am trying to be upbeat but I am not being very successful.  I have an applicant for one that really needs it but it is not as great as I demand.  I don't want to settle but I don't want to go fricken nuts either.  Shela is teaching Wanda bad habits.  It is like now she has this really big dog to protect her so she struts around challenging Sissy even more.  And Wanda is backing her up.  Not Wanda's fault.  She never had either people nor animal socialization.  She is learning to be both a dog and a people companion at the same time and she is confused.  Shela is just going to have to go with Ash, etc.  It gets tense but not on my account as they are way down from the house and plenty of room for 4 dogs. 
    Almost all got walked already.  I still need to walk Bear, Sweetness and Chipi but not sure I have the energy.  The weather is great so maybe after I make myself some breakfast and their breakfast has settled.  Don't know if Thomas ate.  Just left the bowl with kibble, hamburger and salmon oil squirted around.  I think some of the problem is he drools so much the food ends up tasting like slime after the first bite.  He puts Beethoven to shame. 
    Evening:  I put Wanda and Shela in the yard behind the house.  Breaks my heart, but poor Goofy, Hanna and Arlo hide out when they are racing around playing and intimidating on passing.  Wanda is learning from Shela and that is not good but I just can't put Shela alone and the mix with Ashina and Penny is tenuous.  I turned down the applicant for Ashina.  They never let the dogs inside.  "I've never had one that wanted in".   That is like saying my kids never wanted ice cream... if so, it is because they were never introduced to it.  Sure, some dogs prefer outside but once brought in, they certainly take it as a great option to rain, thunder, 109 degree weather, and being outside alone.  It would have been nice for her to get a home, but that is the key word.  Outside is not a home. 
     Loren got up for a few minutes today.  Long enough to get something to eat.  I went out and took pix of the labs and the old lady.  It is heartbreaking.  She will be so sad, I wager she will die within a year without her dogs and her possessions and the home she loved and shared with her husband.  I am having a nervous breakdown as it is.  I don't see how I can add those 2 dogs unless at least 3 dogs leave.  13 in the house was just too many.  But with Wanda and Shela down there barking sadly, it will be 13 again before I go to bed.  I just can't turn off the emotion.
9/8/12:  Thomas is not eating at all now!  Maybe it wasn't the soup or the kibble.  The kibble was still there this morning, looking untouched.  I guess the next step is hamburger.  I'm just afraid the pieces will get trapped in those growths.  Guess with what he has been through in his past and his current condition, it is irrelevant. 
     I kept Bear in the bedroom with me all night until 4.  Sissy, Sahara, Chipi and Sweetness were in there too.  With Sahara and Sissy being in, I didn't have any "all night" barkers.  I got some decent sleep.  Sahara was really ready to escape so when I closed Bear out, they all came running in.  That was the end of any chance for more sleep.  Shela was the first on the bed, laying as close as she could get.  Then Sweetness crawled up on the other side of me.  Wanda was next, laying on top of Shela to be the closest to me.  Petunia just curled up at the bottom by my feet.  I gave up.
    By sun up I had all the water changed, food bowls filled and a second load of laundry in.   I was out the door with Bear, Chipi and Sweetness as soon as I could see outside.  Chipi has improved on leash through the years but Sweetness is just a steamroller and always will be.  The rest got walked in groups.  Some easy, some hard.  Taking 4 at a time when one is not trained can be a challenge.  Taking 4 when 2 are not trained is impossible.  That was a very short walk.
    Petunia is a very driven wild child.  While I was organizing for the first house group, she was in the food room, jumping from dog food bag stack to higher stack and then onto the clothes dryer helping herself to the food.   Decided she best be in the first group.  When I got back, I fed her outside while I leashed up the next bunch.  I told Loren to let her in once I was out the door or she would get out and follow.  He did not hear me say not to put the food bowls out.  While I was gone, she jumped up on the bar stool and onto the counter and was helping herself again.  As I said, she is driven.  I so wish someone with time to train her would want her.  She could be a great search dog.  That nose is exceptional.  Of the 4 hounds I've rescued, she is the keenest and most ready to work. 
    It's 9 a.m. and the Tireless 2 have finally wound down for a brief rest.  Shela and Petunia are in high gear all day.  Hanna and Arlo were even in the middle of it all but wore out way sooner.  I was going to give the stuffies a trash can burial, but I guess if I keep picking up the little pieces they can still have some use for a little while.  Did I mention Arlo is in love?   Every day he gives Petunia a bath, licking from one end to the other, arm pits included.  (He humps too).
    Evening:  At 11 I took Ash for a walk.  Was going to take him to the park but I was a little unsure if there would be other dogs there.  So I took Thomas instead.  Got some water, a bowl, chicken I'd cooked and off we went.  Got myself some lunch and figured he might eat out in the open.  It was such a weather perfect day.  Sniffed and nothing.  We walked for about 45 minutes and then came home.  Email from Janice suggesting a few things and he finally ate some dinner.  I have just about determined that he is a gourmet.  He will try it twice and then he wants something different.  Well, sorry Thomas, my cooking skills are limited. 
     Every time I leave, even if to the shop, I am going to have to put Petunia in somewhere.  She got out when I was leaving with Thomas.  She got out when I was feeding the outside dogs.  She got out when I closed her in the big yard because Shela was going to lose her face to Sissy.  Petunia is proving to be quite the athlete, scaling stacks of dog food bags to get on the dryer, scaling bar stools to travel the counter tops, scaling or squeezing through fences to get noticed.  She just wants to be a part of everything.  Food or walks or car rides.  Count her in.  I just wish she was a little less vocal.  She can really get on a roll. 
     Lore got out of bed for about 10 minutes this morning and has not emerged since.  He's still breathing.  Hope he feels better tomorrow.  Fez has stayed by his side. 
9/7/12:  Brought Wanda and Shela back into the house around 10 when the storm hit.  Shela is a bit afraid of the storm and it was quite a light show.  Lightening had to of hit really close as it illuminated the entire back yard several times.  Even the kitchen was lit up as if the lights had been flicked on and then off.  Usually in storms I get some sleep.  I would have if I had room.  Sissy (120 lbs) Sweetness (97) Arlo (80) Shela (45) Petunia (33) and Wanda (80) were all on the bed with me.  I was pressed against the headboard, arm hanging over the edge of the bed to soothe Hanna.  Wanda was pressed tightly against me from head to knee joint.  This is one l...o..n..g  dog.   King size bed, the tip of her nose was beyond one side of the bed and her hind legs and tail extended beyond the edge on the other side.  Sweetness was also against the head of the bed curled from my knees to my toes.  Shela was pressed tightly against Wanda and Arlo was pressed against her.  Sissy took up most of the bottom of the bed and Petunia took up the small that was left.  I did sleep but woke up drenched in sweat.  When you have 7 huge and 2 medium size dogs in your bedroom, it can get mighty hot, especially when they are pressing against you.  Goofy was in his usual place behind the love seat and Fez was by Loren's bed.  Bear and Chipi were on their side barking non-stop at the storm to go away.   I gave up around 5 a.m.  Waiting for daylight so I can walk some dogs and then feed.  Then I am seriously considering changing sheets (rain + dogs = lots of mud), taking a warm bath and going back to bed... with the door closed between me and the dogs. 
    Noon already!  Most of the dogs got a walk.  I ran out of energy for Penny, Ashina and Ash.  Maybe this evening.  I didn't go back to bed.  Instead I Took Arlo out into the family room alone and watched a couple of Dog Whisperer and brushed him.  He loved the individual attention.  He is the best dog I have of them all.  His only bad habit is being in love with Petunia.  They must have lived together.  They were picked up together by AC.  He adores her. 
    I got a few phone calls done that I have been trying to get taken care of.  Karen suggested my "fluffy" (polite for fat) dogs wear a back pack when we go for their walk.  I went online and found quite a few styles.  Now that I have the basics, I think I can come up with some really neat ones.  I have everything I need. 
    Evening:  I laid down around 12:30 and that was it until the phone rang about 4.  I didn't even hear the dogs bark when the mailman rang the bell.  The dogs are fed.  The storm has passed.  Shela is asleep under my desk and someone is in the living room chewing on something that I hope is ok to chew on.  Getting up would require putting my feet where Shela is laying and I don't want to disturb her.  It is good when she is asleep!!!
     All my gourmet efforts were in vain.  Thomas really chowed down on the chicken soup yesterday but he skipped breakfast today.  I didn't know until Loren told me he had not eaten so he tossed it.  I tried with some fresh around noon and he just turned up his nose. I put out kibble and he ate it.  I guess he is so use to eating painfully that it does not bother him.  Breaks my heart.  The other dogs are loving the soup.  I made up an extra lot since he liked it yesterday.  Crap!  Oh well, I tried. 
9/6/12:  Thomas is in much worse shape then expected.  Over half those little blood count marks were in the "low" range.  Rob was surprised I had known to already start him on certain meds.  I told him it had become a given with the dogs I get.  He said I did good.  Anyway, it will be a long road and all we can do is try one path and if that dead ends, back up and try another.  The possibilities are endless of what all could be wrong with him.  Number one, he is anemic.  Cause is probably because he has such a hard time eating.  I just thought his teeth were gone.  He actually has back teeth but there is a growth on both sides completely covering them.  Rob said it is probably very painful for him to chew.  We went to the store and picked up a bunch of chicken breast and hamburger meat, canned carrots and green beans.  Cooked up a batch of meat and added the veggies into the blender (we don't have a food processor) and I made him creamy vegetable chicken soup for dinner.  He loved it!!!  This will be his meals for the next 6 to 8 weeks until he is healthy enough to have the growths removed.  Yes, Thomas the Toothless Train Wreck is also remnants of flood, earthquake and tornado. 
     Wanda and Shela are picking on Sissy.  She has been 'down' a lot the past few days.  We thought we would lose her last year and then she got better with new meds.  But she is old.  We will just double her pain and anti inflammatory meds and make her feel better.   Sadly Wanda and Shela had to go to the yard behind the house tonight and there is a storm coming.  They have plenty of shelter, but I still hate that they are not in the house.  If they get in Sissy's face, she could kill Shela and do damage to Wanda, even in her painful state.   Petunia only follows so alone she minds her own business.
    Oh, this morning I was walking Bear and Chipi.  All of a sudden I see something crossing the road and then heading towards us, wings flapping.  The wings were ears.  the 'something' was Petunia.  Don't know how she got out but she was not being left behind.  A total calm came over me.  She ran right up to Bear and sniffed him nose to nose and he was like a normal dog!!  She trotted right along beside him back to the house.  I think Karen left a little magic dust behind when she left.
9/5/12: Thomas got a bath.  His skin is in sad shape.  Probably from being under all that grime for so long.  He goes to the vet tomorrow.  I have to find time to get Wanda's tail looked at.  That is a really scary lump.  Shela is back in the house.  Ashina was being a bit bossy.  Shela got a taste of her own bossiness so she is much more ready to behave... until she forgets.  It's been a long day.  Bear is on my bed waiting for our nightly petting session.  Tomorrow I will get Thomas's 'clean' pix up. It's dark and I'm ready to call it a night. 
9/4/12:  I learned a lot from Karen.  It was great having Betty here also.  She asked good questions.  I'm going to have a talk with my young helper though.  His cell is going to stay in his car if he plans to keep coming.  He was very rude with his inattentiveness.  This was a great opportunity for him to learn some great dog skills.  I am not one to embarrass another in front of someone but I think I should have said something.  His actions were an embarrassment to me and I am not paying him to text!   I'm just too easy.  I never made a good boss although I have always owned my own businesses.  Independent and self reliant but I can't be that with so many dogs needing my help.  I need to be more assertive with people as well as dogs.
     In the afternoon we went to Petco to see how doggie backpacks are made.  If I see one, I can duplicate it.  Karen suggested adding some 'carry weight' to the 'fluffy' dogs (a polite way of saying fat) on our walks.   Fezzes mass kind of blew her away.  Anyway, they didn't have much to look at but I got the idea of what I can do.  While I was in the store Loren stayed in the car.  Some idiot backed out of his parking space and rammed our car.  Then tried to blame Loren even though he was parked and the car was turned off.   The Petco people were obviously friends of this couple.  The girl came off screaming at me when I said we were calling the police to make a report.  The minute I opened my mouth to respond the Petco employee told me to shut up because I was on their private property.  (I was standing next to our car in the parking lot where it was hit) The girl kept screaming and the employee just encouraged her.  Of course they had a lot of tattoos in common and the employee was very inappropriately dressed.  Hip hugger cut off short shorts like from the 60's and a top that plunged too low in the front and was too short to cover her hip tattoos in the back.  Yes, I will be calling company headquarters tomorrow.  I know they are a franchise, but stores still have to adhere to certain company standards.  And if she was not 'on duty' she had no authority to represent herself as such.  By the time we got home and made the insurance calls (boy are those nightmares) it was time to feed the dogs.
      Shela, Arlo and Petunia had been in the yard behind the house all day.  I brought them up and fed.  Wanda had been with Thomas all day.  Thomas got really growly when Wanda came around the work bench.  He was done eating.  His bowl was empty.  Definitely a problem in the making.  I had no energy to deal with it so brought her up to the house.  Shela really tried to be bossy again.  "Time out" was not in my energy range, so Shela is now down with Ash, Ashina and Penny.  This is the first meet with Ashina but she has been with Ash and Penny before.  I have not heard any blood curling death screams so I take it they are straightening her out with some friendly dominance play.  Miss Smarty Pants has been taken down a few notches.  Petunia is devastated because her friend is gone.   She is not sure what to think of Wanda without Shela to have her back. 
    Petunia got a second blow to her ego too, when I gave Fez a new squeaky from the half price rack at Petco.  She kept taking it out of his mouth and he'd just give it up without any argument.  I'd take it away from her and give it back to him.  It got pretty intense before she finally got the idea that I meant business. 
    All too quiet on the home front.  Time to see if poor Wanda is being kept out side.  Humid and 100 degrees.  No one is in the yard behind the house as they all need AC.  Ash's bunch were enjoying the AC when I put Shela in the yard.  I hope they allow her to share their space inside.  If I sneak a peek and they are all inside, it won't last.  I just have to assume and not stir up any trouble. 
9/3/12: Made a lot of positive accomplishments today.  Micah built a 'deck' for the lower yard out of some old closet doors and scrap lumber.  Covered it in tiger print carpet.  The rain washes through the yard and makes a mess so I wanted a place to set Ash's food bowl and a place for them to lay above any water runoff and still be under the carport.  It is going to work great.  They still will spend most of their time in the big dog house with the AC until it cools down.  Then I suspect they will really enjoy their big deck. 
    Wanda got moved to the house.  Shela had to have some 'time out' to settle down and not be so bossy.  Time outs really work.  Now they are best buds and Petunia has turned to Arlo for friendship.  Right now they are curled together.  He's asleep and she is chewing a Nylabone.  Earlier he was licking her arm pits!  Now that is something no man is going to do for his woman!!!  Ain't love something?  
    Karen is coming early tomorrow.  I am so enthusiastic.  Poor Bear just lays in his crate all day.  He is so sad.  If he will just let the others smell him without going into freaked out attack mode.  Even if I have to move all the newcomers out of the house to make it work, I will.  He has been in isolation way too long. 
     Petunia has gotten up and is tossing a dead squeaky in the air.  She has such a great time amusing herself. 
9/2/12:  We went squeaky toy shopping.  Fez picked out the one he wanted from the pile and is guarding it with his life.  I explained to the girls that it was his and if he took their heads off, tough!  Sadly, Fez would just give it up if sneak came to bark.  If I hear a squeaker tonight, I will check.  All the others have passed on to squeaky toy heaven.  We just haven't gotten around to trash can burial yet. 
    Georgie brought the Pyr.  She was in dire need of de-matting but it didn't take long.  She is real social and very sweet.  She has a very large hard lump on the underside of her tail.  It could easily be cancer.  It is definitely not normal. 
     Tokota is now named Maxwell :-)  A long and funny story.  The lady's street is Latoka so that made remembering Tokota confusing.  She was just going to watch Tokota for the night and them bring him here today but he was such a perfect match and settled in instantly it just seemed for the best for him to stay.  Since she was going to adopt Maxwell she already had an ID tag made with the name Maxwell on it.  I love this lady!  She is a woman after my own heart.  I have been so lucky with the last 6 adopters.  They have all been amazing!
     Message on my machine that Lucy is doing well.  Swelling has gone down and she is feeling better.  Such a relief.  I did worry every time the dogs ran out last night thinking they might have a copperhead cornered.  But closing the gate would not keep a snake out. 
9/1/12:  3:20... had to check for escapees.  Now I've got them barking!  Something crossed the front yard and driveway.  The livingroom dogs started the alert.  It blazed through the house to the back yard.  I turned on the porch lights and went out with flashlight.  Actually one of those 100 yard high powered lights so I could see down below.  That did a real good job of waking the sleeping.  Now Ashina is on a roll!  Crap!   I just wanted to be sure none of the dogs were out.  I didn't need vocal confirmation for the rest of the night. 
    I had been sleeping really good.  Sweetness was at the foot of the bed and Petunia was at the side.  I was laying across the top.  I was on my side and I sleep with one leg straight and the other bent and out creating a 4.  Shela jumped on the bed and made herself comfortable in the center of that 4.  No thank you!   I don't mind her pressing against my back or curled into my belly but this was a little too cozy.  45 pounds does not seem like much until you try to get your legs untangled from around and under it.  It was only moments after that that the elusive critter raced across the front yard.
    I'm very excited.  I got an email from Karen Kelley the animal behaviorist and she will be coming up here to meet my pack and give me advise how to get Bear into the group.  He will be 8 Jan 1.  The thought of him only getting half time in the main part of the house has bothered me for several years.  I just have not known how to solve his issues.  Not expecting a magic fix, but some tools I am missing to work towards reunification. 
    I finally found out what the vet for Gullivers adopter have done for him.  I am freaking out.  Janice and Shelley both agree something is terribly wrong.  There has been a communication breakdown or something.  I sent them all his records.  Their vet has the reports and vet notes.  They re-did the HW test 5 days after I had it done.  They injected him with the same 2 drugs, one a steroid, that he had 5 days earlier.  He should NOT have had ANY steroids.  I had been waiting all week for a call back from that vet and never got it so called yesterday.  The office help sounded like she was 12 years old and clueless.  When she started reading off what had been done, I said "wait, what you guys did, not what my vet did" because it was identical!!!  I'm just hoping she is an idiot and that was what we had done and not duplicated.  I won't know until I reach the adopters.  It was too late last night after I talked to Janice.  I love my vets, Rob, Amanda and Wendy, but sometimes professional opinion needs mixed with outside, hands on the animal experience.  Thinking outside the box.  Knowing Janice (and Shelley) has been a godsend when it comes to my guys health.  
    It's quiet again.  Hopefully when I get back in bed it will remain that way.  Hopefully there is room on the bed to get back on it.
    Evening.. Is it still Saturday?  Got a girl coming tomorrow to keep Thomas company.  Hope she is not too energetic as he is not real enthusiastic about moving faster then a snail.  I am trying to figure out how to calm the wild beasts before Sissy, Zelda or Goofy have them for dinner.  Petunia and Shela are like the fireworks at the 4th of July only they never run out.  I have picked up enough stuffing to stuff 6 squeaky toys.  Probably because that is how many they have torn up today.   Poor Fez was carrying around an empty one looking so sad.  If I can get Bear over here, then those fireballs can go on his side. 
     Everyone is fed and Loren's in bed.  I've still got some calls to make.  I also need to put sheets on my bed. 
   Night:  Lucy, an adopted Pyr, got snake bit.  It was a copperhead.  I met them at the vets.  She should be fine.  Learned about snakes.  Copperheads the venom is localized.  Rattler, it spreads through the body.  Sure looked like a Diamondback to me but then a snake is a snake and the only ones I prefer are dead ones. 
8/31/12:  The year is almost over.  Hard to realize it will be September tomorrow. 
    Thomas spent most of the morning in the shop with me and Loren.  I showed him the doggie door by example.  I guess I should have showed him 'out' as well because he peed on  a table leg.  Since putting him back in his yard he has found his voice.  Not much of a bark.  Kind of pitiful sounding.   He still is not perky.  I'm feeding him 3 times a day to put some weight on him.  I may go to 4.  He liked all the enticements with breakfast (to disguise his pills) but he was not real impressed with lunch.
    I think Hanna is out in the garage.  I put Sahara over with Bear so Hanna would not feel bossed around but she turned up missing anyway.  I bring her in and then she leaves.  I think the wild ones are a little much for her.  They want her to play and sometimes she does.  I think she is hurting and just wants to be left alone.
    Why do hounds squeak?  Loren says they need more fish oil.  Petunia is typical of all the other hounds we've rescued when it comes to vocalization.  I had a large flannel sheet that I cut in fourths for her so she can 'fluff'.  She tried so hard to fluff the mattress covers and it does not work so now there is a small, lightweight blanket on each mattress so she can fluff to her hearts content.
    Goofy has been pretty upset that he did not get his Thursday walk.  He would have gotten it today but it's raining.  None of them really understand people get wet differently then double coated dogs.  I think he remembers Keeton telling him that people don't dissolve from the rain so he sees no reason why we don't particularly want to go out in it. 
    I ordered microchips today.  I'm not doing HomeAgain for several reasons.  I called 2 other companies.  It is those 'hidden costs' that you have to find out before jumping into "free" or cheap.  A new company called 911PetChip does not have 'registration fees' or annual maintenance fees.  This company is just a one time deal that is included with the chip purchase.  No transfer fees or look up fees or any of the other things others charge for.  And a human answers the phone and actually returns calls. 
8/30/12: It was a hectic day.  I had been waiting to know when to pick up Yiska... now known as Thomas (Loren couldn't remember a unique name).  Woke up to an email.  Poor fella was neutered on Monday and had been sitting there all week.  We all forget things.  I left Hanna closed in the family room all night and when we got home from Ozark, I discovered I had forgot Sissy in my bedroom all day.  I remember they had a job stress chart once.  Don't remember what the top most stressful jobs were but the definitely missed not having Dog Rescue as number one. 
    I had Shela and Petunia out in the garage yard all day because they are getting a bit to enthusiastic in sampling anything they can get their teeth around.  You would think I had just released them from prison.  They are playing and racing through the house.  The other guys are staying out of the way.  Fez went an hid! 
    I took some pix of Thomas.  He is a mess.  I will have to wait at least a week before he can have a bath.  Someone took some scissors to him and his coat is all choppy.  He was obviously shaved to bare skin once in his life.  His outer coat has not come back and won't.  And he drools.  Not just because he was nervous, which did add to the volume, but he just has Beethoven Jowls.  He is going to be the biggest drooler I've ever had. 
     The Gulf storm has made it's way here.  Right now just a lot of wind but rain will hit in about 2 hours.  I hope Thomas is not afraid of storms.  I don't know what I will do if he is.  The shop with the metal roof only makes it 10 times louder.  I don't have time to teach him the doggie door into the garage.  He will just have to stay in the yard behind the house.  I hate that he may be afraid but introducing him to the house pack this late in the evening just won't work. 
     Time to unplug for the storm, and calm Petunia down.  Shela is worn out but Petunia is still at the top of her play game.  If it were not for worrying about Thomas, I would be sleeping really good with rain.  They all stay in and are quiet when it rains.
8/29/12:  Petunia was up and down off the bed last night, crying when Sweetness was in the way in between her ups and downs.  She has a lump where her spay is...  I'm just not good at anything medical, including control during re-hab.  That compounds my situation with Hanna.  A $600 procedure with months of care or a $4200 hip replacement and only a few weeks of care.  Geeze, I can't even handle one night.  I am becoming so overwhelmed again.  Hanna is in pain.  I knew that for some weeks and have been giving her natural pain supplements.  But the situation is not going to fix its self like with Bear.  Seems every time I get some donations, a need 10 times a great surfaces.  Or maybe it just allows me to actually look at that need as a possibility for action.  Then only to realize everything, money and me, falls way short. 
8/28/12:  Petunia was very glad to come home this morning from being spayed.  Loren picked her up when he took Fez in for his dental and wart removal.  With his thick coat, I kept catching it with the brush and comb so it was best to be removed.  Since he would already be under anesthesia, it would save considerably to have his teeth cleaned at the same time since they were in dire need.  In the afternoon, We went together and took Hanna in and Loren took Fez home, then came back Hanna had a hip x-ray and HW test. They had been done before but needed to see where we are at.  As I suspected, the hip has become much worse and she is in pain.  Best process is hip replacement on that side.  So we are somehow going to have to get it done.  I have a call into Columbia vet school.  Don't know if they will take her being HW+ still, but Rob said we are in so far with the slow treatment, he sees no point to switch.  I still need to get Sahara in for the lump on her back.  It is a weird lump, not like a cancer kind.  At least I don't think so.  It is hard and solid.  Just too many dogs with problems that can't be ignored.  The last donation is getting eaten up fast.  The others were already spent.
     Tomorrow my helper comes again.   I need to have a deck of sorts built for the lower yard.  The dust is terrible and the gravel just keeps sliding down.  I still have 2 bi-fold closet doors that can be opened up as a platform.  We just need a frame and possibly a step.  I want it off the ground enough for plenty of rain runoff to go under but especially high enough that a snake will be less likely to take refuge under it.  It will be under the carport so deterioration from weather will not be an issue.  I have to make life easier for me and cleaner for them if Ash and Penny are going to be here forever, which looks likely.  The adoption this weekend will just be a switch of foster dogs so my number here will remain at 15.  I really wish Shela and Petunia would find homes.  There is hope for them.  They are small, young and unique looking.  Poor Penny looks like so many other dogs and it is hard for a pix to show her fantastic personality.  But always my biggest concern is Ash.  I just love him so much and to not have him in the house makes me sad every day.  Maybe when the weather gets cold and we are in the shop more, I will move him in there so he will have people time.  I can't trust Penny and Ashina alone for a lot of hours because they are so puppy like.
    Not heard when Yiska will come.  Connie is making a neuter appointment and then we will pick him up.  He looks like a Keeton from the pix.  Not so much physically, but just an aura I get from the lone pix.  And if not, so be it.  He needs me.
8/26/12:  Had an amazing donation today.  Things are looking up.  I don't have to worry about how to pay for next months dog food supply.  When I get so depressed and so close to giving up, wonderful people step into my life.  True dog people are generally wonderful anyway. 
     With Candy ready to foster again and Maxwell going to his forever home, I can take 2 more dogs.  We are already working on one stray in Springfield and one or 2 in the St. Louis area.  If my new helper works out, I can bring one here.  Tokota is coming next weekend so may need a female friend.  Will just depend on if he can be integrated into the house pack or not.  Don't want him alone.  And it's never good to take one out of the house pack.  They think they are being punished.  I just wish they could all be in here, but 12 is stretching it.  Sahara is intimidating Hanna so I have to keep coming to Hanna's rescue.  Sahara had to go spend a few hours with Bear today, but Hanna was still afraid to come in.  It's really breaking my heart.  I'm Sahara's goat and she does not understand another purebred female Pyr moving into her guardian position.  
    I managed an hour nap.  Put Hanna in the family room with me and shut the door.  She finally got off the couch and quit pawing me for attention so I could sleep. 
    Shela and Petunia have had their nap, dinner and are ready for their evening play time.  Petunia (Flower Child as Loren calls her since he can't remember her name) is just standing in the doorway like a statue and Shela is doing everything in her power to get her to play.  It is not working.  Don't have a clue what is on her mind.  She is frozen in time.  Really weird.   Petunia is a delight.  The happiest dog we have ever had.  Because she is in heat (spay tomorrow) she had to stay out in the garage yard last night.  Put Shela with her.  I just can't have her on the beds until she is fixed.  Petunia barked until she had laryngitis.  Her bark became a raspy squeak.  She finally gave up in the wee hours of the morning.  I felt really guilty.  She is having accidents in the house too, so that probably is a combination of afraid she will be locked out and less bladder control right now.   I do wish she would go on the floor rather then on the dogs mattresses.  Floor I can mop.  Mattress covers have to be washed.
     Gail, her daughter and friend were over today.  Her daughter won the motorcycle.  It was great to see/ meet them.  Gail has saved dogs and brought them to me over the years as well as transport and a home visit.  This was the first time she was able to come over and actually meet the dogs and see my place.   I always appreciate when a person can say "I've been there and Carol does take great care of the dogs".   So many people are mis-lead by fake rescues that it really hurts those of us who really do use the donations wisely and carefully for the dogs. 
    Petunia has finally got her feet to move and they are racing through the house, bumping into anything in their way.  I love it.  Wish I could remember how to turn on the video camera again.  Who ever gets either one of these is going to be so entertained.  Actually someone needs them both for non-stop enjoyment. 
8/25/12:  Headaches are now migraines.  Too much stress.  Not having a crystal ball when Linus went to Candy has made me so paranoid that I will break another adopters heart.  Thorough vetting is not enough.  Honesty is not enough.  I need some psychic power.   I'm glad my numbers are down.  I'm glad I am closing my eyes (sometimes) so I don't see the pictures in the emails.   Rescue makes me keep going until it will kill me. 
    But the dogs give me so many happy moments.   Watching Petunia walk under any of the dogs is hilarious.  She can even walk under Shela.   Shela can walk under all the others.  Those 2 play non stop and are best friends.  Arlo was in the middle of it last night for awhile. 
    I lost my bed around midnight.  Sissy, Sweetness, Petunia and Shela made it impossible to get comfortable.  I had to get up to let Hanna and Arlo in.  Sahara and Zelda are now working in tandem to block passage.  They are really ganging up the prejudice against those 2.  I will not allow it.  Wait until I integrate Bear back to this side.  That is totally going to upset their world.  Sahara likes Bear and Zelda hates him.  I have a young man who will be coming to help with the dogs 2 mornings a week so I plan to confer with Karen Kelley, the behaviorist and get her opinion on how to proceed with putting everyone together.   Loren doesn't have the strength and it upsets him when they go at it.  I wish the rest of my muzzle order would arrive.  It would make things a little easier.  Well, maybe safer is the best term. 
    It's now 4 a.m. so think I will try to get back to bed... after I take some aspirin or what ever.  I know Sweetness vacated the bed because she followed me in here. 
    9:40 a.m.:  It is not starting off well. I cleaned for 6 hours on Thursday.  Gone yesterday but just had some touch up to do this morning before people come to look at Arlo and Maxwell and my place.  Figured I'd get it done before feeding since it was still pretty early.  A quick mopping of the floors and dusting.  I just get finished and in comes Arlo  So much for clean floors.   Hanna was pretty dirty too.  Sahara had not let them in and it had rained.  I just gave up trying.
     1:45:  Just finished stuffing myself with goodies that Ilse brought for me and Althea to share.  Fruit, pastries and cheeses.  A lot will go in the freezer or I will over eat.  Anyway, she decided on Maxwell.  I feel real good about that decision.   Any of the 3 would have been good because she offers such a wonderful environment and so much compassion.  We will make it permanent next weekend when she will have a freer work schedule for him to acclimate.   Everyone is sleeping so I think I am going to take a nap also.  If I get up early enough I need to go out and take pix of some Siberian Huskies to post as a courtesy listing.  Otherwise it will be tomorrow afternoon. 
8/24/12:  Gulliver met his new family.  Really nice people.  They loved him instantly.  I felt bad he didn't get a bath, but he had one 2 weeks ago so not too bad.  Anyway the trip was long but we made good time.  Wish we could have went farther for them but concerned if I'd still have a house to come home too.  Petunia and Shela must have entertained each other because luckily everything seems as we left it. 
    With the last 2 generous adoption donations, my vet bills won't be quite as worrisome.  I just do not like carrying a balance beyond 2 weeks.  Now if the dogs don't have any more health surprises all will be almost good. 
    Althea is driving up with Maxwell tomorrow morning so a potential adopter can meet him.  She will also meet Arlo.  On Sunday she will meet Tokota.  Would be a great situation for any of them. 
    After dinner play time.  Hanna is in the middle of it.  I hope they are careful and that she is careful.  I so worry she will knock that leg out of the hip.
8/23/12:  It will be a busy weekend.  I am tired just thinking about it.  Got to give some baths today.  Left a message for Amber to come help but she must be working.  Gulliver and Petunia need it.  It is 11:00 and all I have accomplished is cleaned half the living room floor.  It was so bad it is taking a lot of scrubbing.  I just wish we could handle the polisher.  Oh well. 
    Petunia was really good last night.  She likes the mattresses but they don't 'fluff'.  After hearing her scratching them, I got a small dog blanket out and put down on one.  She arranged it the way she wanted it and curled up and slept most of the night.  She is really good.  Loren said I need to oil her though because, as is typical with a hound, she squeaks.  This morning her, Shela and Arlo had a great time together racing through the house, out the door, up on the hill and back.  Freedom after a month at AC.  She is taking full advantage. 
    I just got an instant head ache.  Feels like someone snuck up behind and hit me.  Ibreprophrin (sp) time.
    Evening:  Had the nicest young man doing yard work today.  He reminded me so much of my favorite grandson when he was that age.  He loves dogs and the dogs all liked him too.  He will come Monday and help.  There is so much that needs caught up so this is great.   DE on the ground, leaves raked out of the dog yards, some tree branches cleared so I don't have to duck when I dump poop.  The ice chests need a good scrubbing.  Gravel needs raked back to the top of the yards.  It all ends up at the bottom every year.   An extra day for the dogs to get walked will be great too.
    Petunia is so funny.  She has this really raspy sounding squeaky toy Susan brought down and she is having a great time blasting away.  Earlier she was in the family room tossing it in the air.  It was hilarious.  We don't regret getting her.  I think Goofy and Sissy would beg to differ but the rest are fine with her. 
      Guess I better get them fed.  No one is complaining yet, but it's almost 5 so they will soon. 
8/22/12:  The weather has been great.  It makes me feel like I can 'take on more' but soon it will be winter and water will freeze and yards will be mud bogs.  And the money tree died before it ever bared fruit.  Heck, it never even sprouted leaves. 
    Sahara is limping this morning.  My dogs are falling apart and fixing them is becoming more remote.  Fez needs a mole removed and a dental.  They are musts.  He paws so hard at his chin, he is liable to rip the jaw apart.  That is set for next Tuesday and so is Hanna. Hanna's limp is worse every day.  I am afraid she is going to need hip replacement.  When we had x-rays several years ago, it was inevitable.  
    Failed miserably in helping Candy with Linus's bills.  As for Jericho, sent half of what I intended to help him through his separation anxiety.  Thank god dog food has not gone up but I'm sure that will happen real soon.  I go through 20 pounds a day now that I am down to 15 dogs.  Down to around $845 a month from $1200 a month at one point.  But the vet bills have risen accordingly.  Social Security only stretches so far and it darn sure does not increase accordingly.  I need someone to write grants for me or this will all end in a year.  Such a perfect place for the dogs will be going to waste. 
    I'm having milk withdrawal.  Skim impersonating whole so I could not drink it.  Might as well drink water.  Then from another store, date was a week away and it was already bad.  So a gallon and a half got dumped.  Cost more in gas and frustration to take it back.  I'm tempted to open and test before purchase!  I guess those of you who drink coffee can relate.  Milk is my coffee. 
   Evening: Petunia is having a wonderful time exploring inside and out.  She is very housebroke.  When I took her outside from AC, she really peed a lot.  Went straight to the vet and when she got out she really pooped.  Poor thing has really learned to hold it.  She and Shela played great.  Shela is passed out under my desk and Petunia is back out in the yard exploring.  She tried to get Sweetness, Zelda, Arlo and Hanna to play but quickly learned that they were not interested.  I'm sure Shela will get her second wind just about the time I head to bed.... which is soon. 
8/21/12: Made it to today which was tomorrow a few minutes ago.  They barked and barked.  Making up for the quiet of yesterday night.  Bear and Sissy were on a roll and so Ashina and Gulliver joined in.  Ashina barks a lot!  Gulliver only doing his job.  I put a citronella collar on him and when he barked and it went off, he cried!!! I went back down and took it off.  Felt so guilty but I was so tired.  After 2 hours of non-stop and them all racing out the door, I gave up.  So here I am, answering emails and noting events.
    Gulliver gets to go to his forever home on Friday.  I'll drive to Lebanon.  Not quite half way but will help them out a lot.   That will open up the space for Tokota if he is not adopted by the Springfield lady.  I still have to figure out where I will put the brother and sister.  I've not heard a thing since the call over a month ago.  As usual, I've misplaced the number.  I misplace everything but dogs.  If I did, all I'd have to do is wait until sundown and I could follow the sound. 
    Morning aka sun-up:  Nancy and Betty will be here soon.  Hope my stomach hold out.  just drank some milk that although date says is good for another week, it is beginning to 'turn'.  That means 3 cartons that need to go back to 2 different stores all in 2 days.  Now that the weather has cooled there doe not seem to be any excuse for the stores not keeping it refrigerated properly.  I'm becoming acquainted with all the customer reps at the company.  I feel like I need to open every product right there in the store before buying it. 
     I have got to clean house this morning after chores are done.  I'll just come in an wave my magic wand, rub my Geni lamp drop coins in my wishing well and consult my ouiji board.  I suspect the magic wand will just add to the dust problem,  the Geni will grumble something about "too tired", the fountain will say "thanks for the coins" and the ouiji board will say "you must do it yourself". 
8/20/12:  I put Shela with Gulliver last night.  Arlo was not playing with her.  I think Arlo is still grieving missing Thor.  Shela was beginning destructive mode.  Just a few pieces of paper out of the trash, but it would have become more quickly.  They seemed to take to each other quickly.  Much more gentle play then Ashina with Gulliver.  ASD's are just tough in every respect.  
    Seven hours of sleep last night!!!  Was interrupted once but only briefly.  I can credit the rain!  And exhaustion.  Before I went to bed I captured a reluctant Zelda in my room and closed the door.  She was so badly in need of combed out.  She use to enjoy it, but after she got over-brushed by young helpers, now she runs.  I filled a plastic grocery bag to overflowing and still didn't finish.  S
he looks pretty good and I did manage to get all sides and even a few swipes at the tail. 
    Evening: Shela is back at the house.  Breakfast with the two together did not go well.  It is the prednisone Gulliver is on.  Makes him hungry, thirsty and irritable.  He never cared if Ashina was near his bowl but this morning he did not want Shela within 5' of his.  It was not a big deal, just out of character for such a sweet laid back boy.  She has been pretty good all day but I am a little nervous about all night.  She can get into mischief.
    Bear has been on my bed for over an hour waiting for his nightly movie and belly rubs.
Is today really Sunday?  Picked up Gulliver yesterday morning from the vet.  Poor fella was covered in poop so I sent him back to be cleaned up before I left.  I took his food in there with instructions it was what he was to get and not the Science Diet junk.  Have a hunch someone didn't follow my instructions.  He still had a bit of an upset tummy this morning but seems to be normal now.  The adopter called so not sure if he is still going to take him.  I scanned all the vet papers and sent them so he can take them into his vet and then they can decide.  There has been so many hitches in the way of Gulliver getting to an adoptive home.  Got a feeling we've not found the right one yet. 
     Shela is struggling with not peeing in the house.  Today it was not wanting to go out in the rain.  Yesterday it was Zelda blocking her path.  I really can't fault her.  She does good if everything is perfect.  I just can't figure out why her place to go is on any one of the dog mattresses!  Maybe because she got in trouble for the carpet last time.  I just have to do with her as I did with Julia.  Be an escort. 
     Arlo is grieving.  He is obviously missing Thor.  Shela's presence helps but all he did was mope around today.  If Shela has to start amusing herself, we will be in trouble. 
   I watched TV for 3 hours today, which means I sat on the floor and combed out dogs for 3 hours.  I kept trying to sneak up on Fez but as soon as I get near his belly, he flattens out.  You do not move a 148 pound bear rug who does not want moved.  Goofy was more then happy to be worked on until I get to his one hind foot.  His reaction is 'knee jerk' like when the doctor thumps your knee with his little rubber hammer.  He's got a mat between his pads that I have tried for months to get out but it is a dangerous process.  That flying leg can really cause a bruise.  I am more concerned that if I am holding it too firmly, it could break his leg.  So the mat will just have to stay there.  Hanna was more then happy for the attention also. 
     Hanna's back leg is getting worse so time for new x-rays.  Sahara needs a growth removed and biopsied.  Fez has a wart that is really looking bad and needs vet care.   Bear has a bad spot on his leg, but it will just have to get in line.  The check book will be empty when I send off for Jericho's anxiety therapy and the donations for Linus.  I'll try another yard sale since the stuff is still taking up the garage.  And I cannot believe the calls I got today people wanting to buy tickets for the drawing which is over!  There must be a poster left up somewhere but they stated very specific that sales closed on the 15th.
    Which reminds me, I need to find out who posted my phone number on Craigs list with the Akbash.  That was just so un-cool!!!  I need it taken off and I don't even know where it is.  I just keep getting calls.  Damn.  A lot of nerve of someone.
8/17/12:  Surviving yesterdays almost crisis but my stomach has not recovered.  Getting a call last night from a remorseful relinquisher did not help.  What hurt was a few words that totally do not represent who I am and why I do what I do.  Sometimes I wish I had a shield around my heart or a brain fart when someone says something that makes me sad.  I struggle enough with my own conscience over decisions without outside assistance.
    I need to be up in 3 hours... yah, I am up, but should not be.  I was sleeping real good until Sissy barked.  Sahara was blocking the doorway into my bedroom.  I got up but Sissy didn't.  I think she was just letting me know.  She really didn't want in.  Thor was sleeping soundly, just a peek when I stepped around him.  Arlo has moved to the dog mattress rather then the bed.  He will miss Thor.  He has really learned from him.  Not sure who will take him under their paw to finish the lessons. 
     I forgot to mention a cool 'accident' the other day.  There are no dogs in the shop so feeding is slightly different.  I now leave Ash, Penny and Shela to eat while I feed Gulliver and Ashina.  Before I would stay and water and poop scoop then pick up the bowls and move on to the next yard.  Now I feed first and then come back to the other chores.  Well, when I came back to pick up the 3 bowls, they were neatly stacked inside each other!!!  I told them how proud I was of them for picking up after themselves and clearing the 'table' for me but sadly it has not happened again.  Darn! 
     Evening:  Shela is at the house.  Thought it would give Arlo someone to play with.  All is fine as long as Loren does not let Arlo on the bed.  Hopefully there will be enough to keep her busy so she will not get destructive.  She just got too bored with Bear.
     I dog proofed the shop last night  Gulliver will come home tomorrow and I will put him in there alone.  Hope I didn't miss anything.  Rob didn't say, but common sense tells me Gulliver needs to stay quiet until he is totally recovered.  He and Ashina are just a continuous circus of play.  I put Penny and Ash with her.  Penny was snarky but she felt less intimidated when I got Ash in there with them.  They did the 'dance' so I was satisfied and walked away.  I'm sure I will hear if there is any bloodshed.   Most dogs are just fine together.  It is the people that screw them up.  I'm no exception, but I work really hard on deep breaths, positive thoughts and calm emotions. 
    Shela just wore herself out playing alone with a toy, tossing it in the air.  She is asleep under my desk.  It is such a shame the adoption didn't 'stick'.  Oh well.  Shela is a jewel and someone will come along who realizes it. 
   Thor is in a wonderful place with a wonderful adopter.  He already sent a pix.  I know he will make friends with the cats when they let him.  He will welcome them.  A lot of miles today.  Exhausted. 
8/16/12:  Tomorrow will be here too soon.  As it gets closer, I more and more realize how attached Thornton and I have become.  This will be another one of those really hard to let go.  Up there with Griffon my bathtub GSD and a few others.  But he never looks happy and I really feel in my heart that divine power is bringing these two together.  If I'm wrong, I trust that divine power will send him back. 
    Nancy will come to walk dogs.  She can only walk one at a time and it has to be easy ones.  Only the house dogs will get to go today.  I can take 5, but will probably take only 3 with Nancy's one.  We will do it in 3 trips.   Could do it in 2, but Sissy and Hanna can not walk as far as the others. 
     Afternoon:  Took Gulliver in because he had gotten dust in his eyes from them playing so hard.  Wanted to be sure what drops to use.  Waiting a call from the vet.  Talked to the new one and was blown away by all she wanted to do so apologized and said I really needed to discuss all this with Rob.  It is going to run close to $1000 if I do what she suggests.  Now I can't adopt him out with out addressing these "issues".  I would never send off a dog I thought was sick and I sure never saw anything to indicate he was.  Good appetite.  Plays so good.  No panting.  A slight limp one day but I'm sure from all the rough and tumbling they do.  He has gained about 13 pounds in 2 months.  He's 98 pounds now. 
    WE ARE OK!!  Don't know what it is but not Blasto or cancer.  Won't know what it is for positive until tomorrow.  And I learned a lot just now that was contrary to the info I received when Click was diagnosed with Blasto so I can rest much easier.   I am not medical brained so this is what I think I heard:  Although Blasto can be passed from one animal to another or to a human, it is not that common.  The mold spores can be in dirt or anywhere mold can grow.  The most prevalent place is where there is a lot of poultry and dogs roll and inhale the contaminated dirt.  I was told of a human who got it from working in his garden.  A lot of fertilizers do contain chicken droppings (know there is a name for it but can't think of it right now).  Anyway, the disease its self is very bad but not contagious as like Bird Flu or any of those.   (edited from previous post)
    But anyway, it's not Blasto.  Hope I never have a case again, but if I do, I will handle it differently then I did with Click. 
8/15/12:  It never ends.  Eight beautiful Pyrs in Texas from a hoarding situation.  AC just goes in, swoops them up and they will be euthanized at any moment if rescues don't step up.  I wish I could save them all. I wish I could save one.  I hope someone takes the brothers near LR before they end up at AC.  My passion is my grief.  It is so hard to rejoice in finding a home for one when you know dogs just as worthy died today.   I know all the sayings.  I know all the philosophical stuff.  It does not help because they are just words... dogs are beings.  At least I have had response on "Dog" the Akbash.  It will help me sleep a little knowing he will be safe.
    Goofy is being a pain right now.   He did not want any of the dogs to move.  It was like they all had to be statues.  Such a silly nut.  When I got up to see what was going on with him, he shoved me around the room trying to put me where he wanted me too! 
    Getting dark.  My phone ear is sore.  Sweetness is letting me know she is trapped outside.  Zelda must be across the doggie door...... 
8/14/12:  Everyone got walked, fed, watered and poop scooped.  We took Zelda walking with Hanna and Sissy.  Hanna and Sissy cannot walk as far as the others.  Zelda needed to meet Hanna.  Even a few hours and dogs need re-introduced, but this had been a year since they were under the same roof, in the same room.  It went just fine.  A little growl of 'your nose is up my but and get it out', but nothing that was beyond normal and acceptable.  When we took the others Zelda stayed in the family room.  Then when we got back I opened the door and all was fine.  Zelda is a smart girl.  She understands what a 'time out' means.  
     It was 10:30 before I got to take care of me and Loren.  Made Italian French toast.  Or maybe it is French Italian toast.  The bread is Italian.  Guess the French invented dipping it in beaten egg and milk and frying it.  Loren is the one who told me to use the big bread and slice it thick.  I grew up using plain old white bread.  What a difference.  Wish my grandma were around to share it with.
     A little house cleaning... very little, and then off to pick up my dog food order.  Normally I would have picked it up Friday but too many other things were going on.  As long as the weather stays cool, it will just sit in the SUV.  Not up to unloading 360 pounds today.  Just glad the price has not jumped.  Anyway, then I set with Loren and we watched some TV.  What I could see over dogs in my lap and face.  Fixed lunch at 3:30 and then time to start on the dog chores again. 
8/13/12: Shela is back.  Not her fault.  And the day has continued to go down hill.  Gulliver will go to Northern MO and Thornton to St. Louis.  I'm hoping to make a joint trip but waiting a call to be sure this will come together.  I need to get Zelda in to the vet.  She hurt her leg in the fight.  She is in the shop and Hanna is up here.   I canceled Sahara's appointment that had been scheduled for today.  She has a lump on her spine that is growing.  I'm just emotionally drained.  12 dogs is my goal.  Twelve dogs total, not 12 here plus fosters.  That means I need to get to 10 because the 2006 littermates are coming soon.  Ash, Ashina, Penny and Shela are priority.  Had a really nice lady call today interested in Maxwell.  Crossing my fingers it will be a match.  We had a rescue friend in common who passed away a few years ago.  I think this lady will be good.   Arlo and Tokota should be easy to find the right people for them.  Ash is the biggest challenge.  I love him so much and I just want to be so sure he gets the perfect match.
8/12/12: The rest of my day:   Shela went to her forever home.  I called last night and things seemed to be going well.  We will be taking Goliath to Springdale to meet up with Gail to take him to Ft. Smith.  there he will meet up with his new family.  Then possibly a potential adopter will show up.  She was suppose to confirm last night but I've not heard.  That's ok, it makes a decision easier.  Carolyn will come over and chip Arlo.  Julia's people will be over to retrieve her after their trip.  By then I will be ready to go to bed!
   Evening:  Goliath rode great. We stopped at Sonic to get some breakfast (pathetic choice but better then McDonalds) and got Goliath a hamburger patty.  He thought that was great.  I got French Toast sticks.  Ever try to dip them in those little tubs of syrup while riding down the road?  I knew I dripped, but didn't see it on my shirt.  A while later I needed to put on my glasses to call Gail and let her know we were running early.  I found the drips.  Of course not until I had taken my glasses off my collar, letting the syrup run down my shirt and placing them on my face. The remaining syrup went on my face and nose.  I reached around into the back seat to get the dogs water jug only to discover it had leaked all over the new walking collar I was sending with him.  I wrung it out and hung it from the sun visor.  I moistened one of those Sonic napkins to try to wipe my shirt.  I only ended up with napkin fuzz all over.  I soaked it a little more and tried to wipe my face.  It was dissolving very quickly.   I poured more water onto the last shred of paper and tried to wipe my glasses.  The syrup smeared all over the lenses.  Out of napkin and needing to see, I licked my glasses and wiped them on my shirt.  Loren said "Gross" but it is no more gross then having Fez wash your face with his tongue so I was good. 
    I'm not sure if Julia will be picked up tonight or tomorrow morning.  I brought Hanna up.  She had not eaten.  Grieving being alone.  I was not in the mood to deal with Zelda so I had put her out in the garage yard.  Did I mention she went after Fez yesterday and I had to spray them apart with the hose?  Anyway, I knew she would be in full war mode so before dark, I took her to the shop.  She will be content for the night.  After Julia is gone, I will bring her up and we will see what happens.  Her and Hanna were fine together before but that was back around the first of the year.  Zelda is just getting old and grumpy and wants to be left alone.  Actually being in the shop may make her happy.  She has AC, music and no dog distractions.  She just needs more then a 20 x 30 yard.  
     Linus sent Candy a gift.  He is a Pyr who has been wandering alone for over a year.  Man called her and she called me.  I told her to go get him.  If he was not one she felt the need to keep, I could take him.   She went and picked him up.  Named him Aslen.  I had an Aslon but that's ok (now Tucker the toothless train wreck) .  I've had 4 Thor's also and 4 Sadies just with different spellings so I can live with that.   He is in really bad shape.  She will take him to the vet tomorrow for the basics and then fatten him up before neuter.  I hope he does not break her heart. 
My Dear Friend~
     Words could never express the love and gratitude I am feeling for you right now. You brought to me the most amazing creature that ever blessed this earth. Although I had him for just a few short months, he filled my heart and soul with enough love to last me for the rest of my time here. I have had and loved many dogs throughout my adult life, but never was there a dog like my sweet blanket boy, Linus. I have never experienced the kind of bond like the bond I have with him. Neither time nor space will ever touch that. And I have never experienced the kind of love that he gave to me. As he lay snuggled in my arms and slipped away so peacefully today, I knew this was not good bye~ just an "Until later, Mom." Although both of are hearts are broken and aching as night falls, how blessed we are to have had him in our lives. I will be strong for you and you will be strong for me-that's just how we play it. And we shall carry on together- finding the discarded, neglected, and abused who so desperately need us. I know that is what Linus wants us to do. Tonight, try to loose yourself in dreams of our beautiful, sweet boy running and playing and waiting patiently for us on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge. I know that is where he is and what he is doing tonight.
     One thing I have not told you until now is about my friend's little girl, Phoebe. Phoebe is 4 years old and died about a month ago from cancer. Phoebe loves dogs. As Linus was going over the Rainbow Bridge, I asked him to go find Phoebe and take care of her until her mommy and daddy got there. You know how much Linus loves kids, so I know he's probably found her already and is now her furever furbaby and BFF, a perfect job for him while he waits for us.
     All my love,   Candy
8/12/12:  I woke to the below message on my Facebook.  The true heart of a rescuer.  The true heart of one who has had that very special heart dog.  Keeton changed me for the so much better.  Linus has touched Candy in the same way.  Until you have had that very special heart dog... well, when you do, then you will understand. 
8/10/12:  How can the heart and mind handle happiness and sadness at the same time?  Mine is not doing well at all.  Linus has cancer.  His heart is too weak to undergo any treatment.  The hip is gone.  The poor boy is in so much pain but he never complained.  I try to stay busy but I keep crying.  I love him and I love Candy and to have them both love each other so much and have to go through so much heartbreak is just crushing me.   God has given me some amazing adopters... through the years as well as right now when they are so desperately needed.  Those from the past, I feel their pain.  Weeton and Major both dying so unexpectedly in the past few months.  It broke my heart.  And Sasha and Julia losing their owners to cancer.  Their pain is just as great as the humans pain; their grieving just as deep.  Dogs move on and get new people.  People move on and hopefully get new dogs.  But the life that is gone is never forgotten.  Linus is Candy's heart dog.  Keeton was mine.  Weeton was Marcia's and Major was Karen's.  The list is long.  Too long.  They live only a short time compared to humans.  I want to keep giving those magical moments, but when the magic is only a memory in a broken heart...  I just wonder why... and I feel so responsible. 
8/9/12: So much for trying to be positive, upbeat, happy, enthusiastic and all that other stuff that is just so much work.  Yesterday just stressed me out completely.  I am so tired.  Can't think straight.  I should be happy I have approved adopters but the logistics are just straining my brain.  Walk in a rescuers shoes.  It's like squeezing into a pair way too small and then getting gravel down in them.  No matter how many times you take them off and put them on, they are still too small and no matter how carefully you step, the gravel still gets in.  Eventually you just quit trying to take them off and struggle to live with the reality that no matter what you do, they are not going to change.  And a rescuer just can't throw them away and find a pair that won't hurt.  No such thing in rescue.  Even if they fit, the gravel is still out there ready to spoil that comfortable feeling.
    It's 4:08 a.m. and I can't get back to sleep.  Another face haunts me.  A beautiful face that will very likely cross the rainbow bridge without knowing warm arms and love in her last moments.  Only terror.  I can't save them all.  I can barely take care of me.  Three days of work setting up a yard sale to make enough to feed the dogs for 8 days.  Gas prices rising just when I have dog runs to do.  Dogs that need to be seen by the vet.  A raffle gone terribly wrong.  We could have sold the motorcycle for way more then we raised.  Adopters not understanding the stack of vet records they get were not done for free and not paid by some magic money tree growing in the yard.  I use to have good days.  I need to find them again.  I need to cuddle the dogs and say 'to hell with the world'.  Life just doesn't work that way. 
   There is happiness buried somewhere.  A shovel is not adequate.  Anyone got a back hoe so I can find it? 
    Bear stayed with me for awhile last night.  I slept solid for about 2 hours.  Still recovering from some disagreeable food.  When I woke up, I noticed he had abandoned me.  Closed his door and opened the other door.  Zelda and Sahara were first on the scene so the doorway got blocked.  Growls began.  I had to scoot bodies to let the others in.  Arlo was quick to get on the bed ad take a position that left little space for me.  He really knows how to stretch out.  I have been working on keeping him off all furniture and letting him be limited to Loren's lap.  I am failing and need to step up and just do it.  He really is a charmer. 
     I will really miss Thornton but he is getting a fantastic family.  He has felt slighted since Arlo came so I have made special effort to give him attention.  He never asks for anything so I have to be aware and be sure he is not neglected.  He could easily become a keeper but he needs to be special.  Around here, no one can. 
    Time is ticking and I have got to try to get a little more sleep.  Julia will be visiting and arriving in 2 hours.  I need to set the clock or I know I won't fall back to sleep.
     Evening:  I eliminated the things that were stressing me.  I just made decisions and stopped worrying.  If I was unsure, I just pulled the plug.  I have got to have that 'just right' feeling when it comes to these guys.  If in doubt, don't! 
    It was a good thing I was able to clear my mind for a little while because it got full real fast.  Candy called.  Linus got really bad and they were heading out the door for Columbia University Vet school emergency.  They have state of the art and their local vet just does not have that level of diagnostic equipment.  I've cried off and on but know when I go to bed, it will be a bucket.  These 2 precious boys, Jericho and Linus, coming to me from the same past, so riddled with injury and neglect.  They are like my Keeton.  Their adopters are my angels as well as theirs.  The greatest gift on can give is to love a dog unconditionally just like they love us.  Even thought sometimes the relationship is short, always shorter then we want, we should take comfort in knowing we gave them every ounce of love we had in us.  We gave them a piece of our heart that we will cherish as long as we live.  I just pray that Linus time with Candy is not cut this short.  He has so much more to give and so does she.  It has been a rough road the past 2 months.  I pray it smoothes out and Linus can go home for a long and happy life. 
8/8/12:  Things have such strange ways of working (or not working) sometimes.  It has not been easy to keep a positive attitude... guess that has been pretty obvious.  Well, it's time to start digging out of the emotional hole.  Someone elses problem becoming my problem has opened a door to possibly solving one of my problems that has been plaguing me for years: Bear.  Reaching out to get help for Susan with Jericho's separation anxiety has brought me information on someone who can most likely help me get Bear back into the pack.  It won't be easy or cheap because of distance, but my heart breaks every day when I go out in his room and see him become more and more withdrawn.  It is also helping me face that I have got to quit taking dogs.  The logic, the excuses and the heart never seem to agree so they take turns winning.  My mental and physical stability are always the losers.   I've run the race, now it's time for a cooling off and then a rest.  Then maybe a new direction that is less physically and emotionally demanding but just as rewarding.  A lot of options I can consider but every one will involve dogs.
    Four and maybe 5 dogs will be leaving in the next 2 weekends.  I will not add any new as there are returns coming.  I just can't be at 18.  I need to be at 12.   That still means 3 or 4 more will need to find homes very soon. 
    Time to face the sunrise and start the morning chores.  Today is going to be different. 
8/5/12:  Hardly slept until 4:30 a.m.  Then had a sneezing fit and took a Benadryl.  That was about the end of me until 7:45!!!  The dogs had given up waiting for breakfast.  I was too tired to really be concerned.  I needed that dead to the world rest.
    Stuff is still in the Garage.  We just pushed the tables over so they would be out of the way so the car would fit.  I'm still feeling depressed.  made a decent amount of money but not what I had hoped for.  It was wonderful having the help, but then it was back to today and being on my own.  I'm just feeling really isolated.  I'm also stressing over approved adopters not returning my calls or emails.  I have to know when the dogs are leaving and if I need to help with transportation.  People need to plan.  They can't just sit and wait. 
8/4/12:  I survived and actually made a little money.  Of course you don't want to divide it by the hours put in to setting it up.  Sue, Susan, Cathy and Dawn helped out so that was a lifesaver. 
    Arlo has really made himself at home.  He also enjoyed meeting people who came to the yard sale.
8/1/12:  Everything seems to be crashing in on me.  Only one person I can count on and she is driving 5 hours to help me for several days.  Lori has not shown up the past 3 Wednesdays so guess she is no longer going to volunteer.  Marlo called tonight that she starts a job so she will not be here tomorrow.  She could have called sooner.  I worked most of the day cleaning up the shop and getting the dog stuff off the shelves set out to sell.  There is so much other stuff and not even started.  Tables to haul up to the garage and boxes full of stuff to set out and price.  Tomorrow evening I'll be up making cookies to sell.  Friday night up making muffins to sell.  Signs to put up on the road intersections.  Guess that will be Friday evening.  There is so much cleaning up outside the dog yards I wanted to get done.  Not going to happen.  I don't know how the 2 of us can cover everything.  Hopefully Loren will feel well enough to sit in the window of the family room and take money.  He won't be able to sit outside.  Betty would have helped but they won't be back until Sat evening.  I emailed Sue a week ago but did not get a reply.  Guess I need to call tomorrow. 
     I thought Julia's adopter would be over Monday to sign the adoption agreement.  I thought I'd hear from Gulliver's adopter on a date he will be able to connect with transport to get him.  I thought I'd hear from someone doing a home visit for me for one of the other dogs.  I thought I would have an answer to 2 of my emails from applicants on other dogs. 
    I thought Goliath would be back from his neuter but he was too groggy.  I thought I would pick up Arlo but don't know where to put him.  I can't let him end up like Kodiak.  I thought I'd get some sleep, but here it is past midnight, so now it is 8/2.  I am so thirsty.  Even with the AC and the rain, it is so humid.  I am accomplishing nothing.  The dogs are even quiet, but I can't sleep.  Just too stressed out.
7/31/12:  2:30 a.m.  Something was going on outside and they all had to race out the door for the umpteen time.  Must not have been of huge importance though as Lacy and Fez were not on alert.  I need to get an electrician out here someday and see why my outside lights quit working.  they timer still clicks and the bulbs were just replaced a few months ago.  Finding someone trustworthy and who will actually figure out how to fix it is not a simple phone call.  Having the lights on does keep the barking down and nocturnal critters less likely to invade. 
    I ended up on the floor combing out Lacy, her left side, anyway, and Goofy, both sides.  Went back to bed just before 4. 
    Noon:  I'm ready for a nap.  It has not been a good morning.  Ivermectin day and I did not have any hamburger to squirt it on.  The natives got restless which put me on edge.  Loren finally got home from the store.  Then I had to cook the hamburger and cool it.   Then the slow process of measuring the Ivermectin.  They normally eat between 6 and 7.  This morning it was almost 9.  Everyone got fed.  Two yards got fresh water and one got poop scooped.  The rest will come after my nap.
    At least we are getting some rain.  It is still very hot. 
7/30/12:  I hope August begins better then July is ending.  Kodiak won't be coming.  Although I never got to show him love, I have kept his page.  He deserves to be remembered.  He did nothing wrong.  He did not deserve to die and be deprived of someone who would have loved him. The people at the AC where he was are just mean or very stupid.  From a few things I have heard they rank high in both categories.  So after crying over another dog I never met (I've done this many times), I got to work on patience for the ones I do have.  (Which I do way more then I want to.) When I went down to feed dinner, Goliath keeps humping Hanna.  I noticed she was limping more then usual.  I'm sure this is why.  I'm going to have to move her to the house or move him somewhere.  He gets neutered Wednesday but it is not going to change the behavior.  Then on to Ashina and Gulliver.  One of them made confetti out of the little fold out thing on the sides of the air conditioner.  I am sure they just did not realize cooling the great outdoors takes away from cooling the comfortable great indoors.  Since one side is AC, one side is glass and one side is metal window frame, figuring out how to fill the hole with something they can't tear out took some imagination and about an hour of time.  I am sure I will know in the morning if I was reasonably successful.  Then as I headed back to the house Shela zoomed by.  I've learned to make a game out of her coming to me so she only races around for about 5 minutes.  Then I praise her for "coming".   Then I got to bring bricks and small boulders to fill up the hole she dug.  She is quite good at finding the few places that are not solid rock.  Maybe I should hire her out for people wanting to dig fence post holes.  Anyway, the evening chores (feeding, watering and icing) which should take 30 minutes took 3 times as long. 
7/29/12:  Julia got picked up after 10 p.m. so I slept like a log... almost.  Somewhere during the night I crawled in with Loren.  I didn't even know where I was as when the dogs barked in the living room I instinctively shouted, "Quiet".  I'm sure Loren would have slept through the barking but not my shout right next to his ear.  When I did wake up in the morning, I was surprised to realize where I was.
    Running behind, I, of course had thought I had washed the dogs dishes.  Thought, key word.  That put me farther behind.  Got the food bowls ready and began serving them.  Loren did the living room guys and I headed over with Bears, Sweetnesses, Chipi's and Shela's.  A tornado had struck during the night.  It's name was Shela.  The room looked like a war zone.  One little 45 pound dog shredding a crib mattress into a million pieces, stripping the innersprings almost clean in places, is quite an accomplishment.  I have never had one torn so badly that it was beyond hope.  This was a first.  I'll check into a Destructive Dog trophy on Monday.  She deserves it.
    Feeding around the mess was a trick.   Bear was afraid to come in.  Maybe he thought he would be next.
    I had to feed the outside dogs before I could move Shela back with Penny and Ash.  Hate to do it...   Food and water is all they got.  No time to poop scoop.  Did it last night but I swear they had really saved up.  It is going to be a long, hot evening.
     Went to take Shela out of the back yard and move her.  I opened the gate, leash in hand when my shirt caught on a wire.  I could not reach Shela as she ran past me.  I was hooked good.  I now have a big rip in my T-shirt.  Shela had a great time on the fly.   She is good to come when she is finished exploring.  I finally got her in.
     It took half a contractors bag to pick up all the mattress mess.  I hope the trash men will pick up the frame.  This was one of those probably $100 when new mattresses with all kinds of padding and filler and several layers of foam under the 2 layers of covering.  Actually it was so hard, the dogs really were not that fond of it.
    Off to the fairgrounds...
    Afternoon:  Taking a break before I unload.  Sold about 15 collars.  Didn't count and no one wanted a receipt.  Money just went into the donation jar.  I still have to unload.  Wish I could take a nap but Carolyn is coming over at 4 to put in microchips.  I am definitely ready to crash.
    P.S. I forgot to mention getting my tit caught between the dog food bowls this morning.  I remembered when I was showering a few minutes ago.  Ouch!
7/28/12:  7:20 a.m. heading back to the fairgrounds.  A lot of nice people and a few ticket sales.  A lot of people were getting their dogs neck size to buy collars today.  Had some calls so I could bring all of the size they needed so loaded up those.  Won't have a lot of room to display with all the extras.  Took Shela half the day and Thornton the other half the day.  Taking Gulliver this morning and Ashina in the afternoon.   That may be a mistake but Loren will have the car if it becomes a disaster.
    Evening.  Exhausted.  I 'hung it up' at 3:30.  Was falling asleep at the table.   Gulliver was a little too much so swapped him for Hanna.  She was a big hit.  Gulliver would have been fine had I not gotten busy.  But busy was good.  Got to go get more collars for a lady and take in tomorrow then shower and wait on Julia's people to come get her. 
    I met the people who ended up with Picasso.  For some reason I cannot find his page on my site.  He ended up being placed by one of the vets as I could not keep him in.  It was great to know where he ended up. 
7/26/12: (3:15 a.m.)  I tried cleaning up some of my unused web files.  I think I made a mistake.  If you find pictures missing, please let me know.  I may have screwed up about 500 before I hit alt-ctr-del to make it stop doing what it was doing.  It was like a run-away train and the brakes failed.  To stop it I had to run it off the tracks and into a tree.  I survived.  The site survived.  Just don't know about some of my pictures.   And I was tired of blue satin background. 
    Bear has me so worried.  He is so afraid of everything and gets more so daily.  He won't even come in when Chipi and Sweetness are in his room.  I've moved them to this side and brought Shela up to keep Bear company.  She is so small and so passive, I knew he would accept her.  He has, but he still stays outside if she is inside.  With this heat, this can't be.  Lori didn't show up yesterday.  I had it planned to try to walk Bear with Goofy or Zelda.  Lori could handle it if there was friction.  No one else who helps is strong enough or calm enough. 
    More dogs are coming.  None seem to be leaving.  I could not say no to Kodiak, an owner turn in in N. LR.  If I had not responded immediately saying "I'll be his last resort", he would have died yesterday.  No one else came forward.  Volunteers thought they had a week, but with owner turn ins, animal controls can euthanize immediately.  That was almost the case with Kodiak. Local AC has Arlo.  He may get claimed by the owner.  If he were not in such bad shape, I would hope he would.  But considering his condition, they don't have any right to have him back.   And then in a month I will be getting Emily and Custard back after 6 years!! 
     I have no idea what is keeping me going.  I'm scared I'll just collapse one day. How does a rescue quit?  Well, short of dying, anyway.  Loren is having good days.  I think he too is doing better when I am happily saving lives.  We have to feed off of each others positiveness.  We have to bring each other up.  Peace and calmness spreads, not only to the dogs, but to others.  I just have to focus on what "is" and not "what if".   One foot in front of the other will get me there.  Thinking about putting that foot in front of the other gets me no where. 
7/22/12:  I keep losing days.  It's not that I sleep through them... well maybe sleepwalking. My new adopter/volunteer Elisa came yesterday.  Spent the morning and was an amazing help.  In the process of finishing up brushing Sissy and Thornton, they both started acting totally silly.  They raced through the house, ran in circles and plowed into Elisa, sending her into the air and crashing to the floor.  It all happened so fast.  She is really sore and I feel terrible about it.  She came back in the evening to decide which dog to adopt.  They took Julia home.  She was going to come back and help today but is really hurting.  I sure hope she is going to be ok. 
    I decided to bring Shela back into the house.  Penny plays pretty rough with her.  Ash can compete because he's twice Penny's size, but Shela is the same size but only half as strong.  Anyway, I just turned her out and she ran to the front door where the gang refused to let her in.  She made a few trips around the yard exploring while I closed some doors.  She went to the back and greeted Bear.  I liked the reaction.  After I had her in the house for a few hours she really wanted to play and no one would play with her.  She tried Thor but he just growled at her.  I was feeling calm and Bear was feeling calm and Shela was oblivious to Bears temperament so I went for it!  I opened his door and let her in.  He hid in his crate.  It is almost 9 p.m. and she has been over there since about 6 p.m. so I think all is good for the night.  It was either put her there with Bear or back outside with Ash and Penny.  She is still a pup and needs supervision in the house when she gets bored. 
    I know Bears issue is fear.  He is not a bad or mean or dog aggressive dog.  He is just scared and when he feels cornered and threatened, he attacks.  I don't know where I went wrong, but with his pack hierarchy from many years past, he just got banned from total dog access.  The fear just grew and continues.  Of course, even if you are big and someone just as big, that you don't know, comes charging straight for you, you'd feel threatened too.   I want so much to have everyone get along.  I don't want Bear left out.  Breaks my heart. 
   I'm off to bed.  Hopefully Shela's presence will keep Bear from his nightly bark-a-thon. 
7/20/12: Ambition was short lived.  By the time I got a little sleep, got up, fed, watered poop scooped and walked 6 dogs (Goofy, Fez, Zelda, Sahara, Thornton & Sissy) all at the same time, filled inside water, checked email and attempted to return 6 messages (my message light had not blinked so some were from last night), I am ready for a nap.  It is only 10:13 a.m.  The dogs are taking their morning nap so I think it is a great idea.... just watch, I will doze off and one of those non-responsive callers will call back.
     Evening:  I did take that nap!  Good thing because the afternoon got hectic.  Played phone tag with several adopters and finally made a connection.  Had 6 messages on my machine that somehow my blinky light didn't blink so they should have been answered yesterday.  Oh well.   Then a really nice man came over and bought some raffle tickets.  He loves dogs and so did his relative visiting from out of state.  He shared photos.  The local guy has hobbies the same as Loren so I am hoping they will hit it off so Loren will have someone to share things with.  Right after he left, I met a wonderful new volunteer.  She is interested in adopting but will come every day and help with the dogs.  She has a 'way' about her and the dogs just sensed something was special.  They calmed down really quickly and she was a great help with the feeding and watering.  It was like she had been here many times before.  Strange how realizing a want is not a need and then it is fulfilled. 
7/19/12:  Alive.  Surviving.  Need fosters.  Need adopters.  Need money.  Need help.  Need rain (without thunder, thank you). Need to have a yard sale.  Too much stuff.  Need to sleep.  Need to hug a dog.  Need to hug 17 dogs.  Did I mention I found out today I have 2 more 'returnees' coming.  Two of the bobble head doll puppies that were adopted together in 2006 are coming back in a few months.  Divorce in the family and moving in with dog hater grandma.  I've never had any be gone this long and come back.  So sad.  Those puppies were so sick with coccidia we didn't know if they would live.  They could barely walk and they could not hold their heads up.  They just shook all over.  We had went out and got them in Summit miles on a dirt road.  The house was a shack with no plumbing and one electrical wire going into the place.  Outhouse in the yard.  Some really sick looking chickens in the yard.   If I am remembering correctly, after we drove out there, he wanted $50 each for the puppies.  We could not leave them there as they would surely have died.  I think we gave them $75 or $80 for them all.  Obviously they needed the money.   They promised to take the momma dog into the vet and I would pay for the spay.  I never got a call from the vet so obviously it never happened.  If you have never lived in Arkansas (or the mid south) and never driven the 'back roads' to rescue puppies, you have missed a whole cultural world that looks more like one of those 'Save the Children' ads.  I've met the poorest of the poor yet many are proud they can 'take care of themselves'.  Living in a cow barn or a lean-to or a shack.  No carpet on the floor... no floor... just dirt... No electricity other then a lone light bulb hanging from the ceiling.  No insulation in the walls or ceiling...but plenty of patched holes.  The lucky ones had a vehicle that ran.  May be held together with bailing wire, but it would get them to town.  Cooked and heated with a wood stove.  Washed body and clothes (on rare occasion) in a stream where they hauled up water from.  Lucky ones had a well and a pump.  Not electric or gas... hand pump.  I'm talking 2006 folks, not 1806. 
   I don't need anything...  I may want, but need is just not appropriate.
7/16/12:  I slept.  They were either quiet or I was oblivious from exhaustion.  I do remember getting up to make Zelda move twice, but I think I was sleep walking. 
    Gulliver and Ashina were in the family room yesterday for several hours.  Gulliver is going to need a doggie door or someone who is not gone all day.  He seems to have a puppy bladder.  Anyway, they sure enjoyed their time in the house with us.  I posted new pix a little while ago on their pages.  They wrestled as much inside as they do outside.  Gulliver wants to be a lap dog and Ashina had a blast chasing a ball and tossing stuffy toys into the air.  I wish I had videoed it.  I have not given Ashina enough credit in the sweet department.  She can really be a love. 
    Today we had some huge thunder booms.  One shook the house and set off car alarms down the road.  Loren went down to cuddle Goliath and I brought Shela into the house.  She has been in before but they all had to check her out again.  Then when I took her back, Ash and Penny did likewise.  I definitely have scent oriented dogs rather then visual.  Anyway, in the dinner bowls, I gave everyone some natural Calming Aide just in case we get another storm tonight.  
    After 45 minutes on the phone I got a credit card education.  It is hard to ask the right questions when you have not a clue what you need.  I finally got a lady whose mother accepts credit cards for poultry she sells.  I don't need a credit card to accept credit card donations.  So I hope to have all that info online in the next few days.   Closing Paypal has really hurt financially.  I don't get much, but what I did get really helped.   I've got a lot of vet bills I'll be facing real soon and I just don't do non-emergencies unless I have the money to pay. 
     The hot spots on Ash are almost cleared up.  I started giving him some natural stuff a few days ago that I got from my distributor friend.  Shela has one starting and is itching so I will start her on it tomorrow.  Not fleas, not ticks, not food allergy and there is just no weeds in that yard.  Not even grass.  Several oak trees is all.  Ground got DE on it a week ago.  At a loss.  Penny is fine. 
     Will be walking the dogs at 7 tomorrow.  Beat the heat.  I was given 6 cooling vests for the dogs so will try them out tomorrow.  Wish they made cooling booties and bonnets.  Of course getting the dogs to learn to wear booties that squished with cold gel lining would probably be pretty comical.  I can just imagine Fez.  Paralyzed, eyes huge, then splat onto the floor on his tummy, legs spread, so his feet were not on the floor. 
7/14/12:  I can't keep up.  It's near tomorrow.  I was almost asleep once.  It is like "Mommy is in bed now, TV is off, We can go bark."  I have an applicant upset at me because I've not gotten more pix to send.  Taking pix without help and in the rain... I knew it would be a waste of time, but I should of at least emailed.  Standing up typing is not easy.  I've got to get back to the doctor and beat him over the head if that is what it takes to make him listen to me.  This pain in my hip and leg is unrelenting unless I am walking or moving while standing.  Laying down is not much better then sitting.  I'm starting to get scared again.  My 2 legs just don't look the same.  It is 11:59.  It is quiet... until I lay down....
Feeding has become quite an event.  It's not putting kibble in the bowls, although a few get something different.  It's not the order or excitement as that has been under control for years.  Everyone knows the rules and follows them.  Even new dogs catch on real fast.  It is the 'needs' that go into the bowls.  The supplements and the pills.  Sissy gets 3 pills, 3 supplements + yogurt.  She is ok with them in hot dogs.  Then there is Fez who won't do hotdogs so his supplements go in Liverwurst.  He has to have something special added in or he wanders around looking pathetic and not eating.  Right now his treat of choice is either pineapple or apple sauce.  He does not like yogurt.  Zelda gets nothing healthful in her bowl or she refuses to eat.  She has went for 48 hours if it's not the way she wants it.  No supplements, no yogurt, no dog 'treats'.  Cooked hamburger or some form of pasta and sauce or she will just go hungry.  Some like yogurt.  Some won't even go near the bowl if it is added.  Some are fine with a fish oil capsule and others spit it out so they get the liquid squirted on their food... except Zelda. She will have none of it. 
     Some will eat anything.  Sweetness just devours what ever.  Julia and Sahara are appreciative of anything as well.  Goofy is picky.  A lot of thought goes into his as his taste moods are ever changing.  Thornton is still at the unsure stage when it comes to food.  I never am sure what he will eat and what he won't.  Bear may eat or may not.  It's not so much what I put in the bowl as much as when.  His hungry clock is not in sync with my schedule.
    Zelda is determined to be a sick old grumpy lady, like it or not.  And she won't eat until all the others are finished, let out and then let back in.  Her pleasure is growling at them to stay away from her food rather she wants it or not, even if they are 2 rooms away. 
  Then we move to the outside dogs.  They are usually newer so it is a learning and remembering process for me.  Old timers like Penny will eat anything anytime.  Ash has been a challenge.  Skinny to healthy to now infected with hot spots.  I've tried all the external with no success and continue to work on the internal approach.  He was good to eat anything in his bowl and I made no changes... but he could have developed an allergy so I cut out all the extras.  No change.  Began adding them back.  Began adding new things geared for healthy immune system.  He likes everything I mix in and never complains.  It has been about a month or more I have been battling the hot spots and they just keep coming.  It would so help if he were in the house but after the 2 Fez attacks, I just can't do it.  Shela is more interested in attention so she has to have some hamburger sprinkled in or she follows me around while I poop scoop and do water.  Then Penny gets really tempted to go to Shela's bowl.  She won't if she knows I'm watching, but watching slows down the morning chores. 
    Now Goliath and his lengthy combination.  Got to get the blood deficiencies back up into good range.   He gets quite a gourmet spread, but he eats it all up.  No special tricks to get him to eat all the strange flavors.  Hanna would rather be petted so I have to add hamburger to hers or she will leave it and Goliath really watches to see if he can sneak what she leaves.   Another chore process slow down.  Gulliver and Ashina are no sweat.  Like Sweetness, anything is good. 
     Here's where they are and where they eat. 
7/13/12:  Thanks to a wonderful lady I have yet to meet, I was able to save Tokota from life on a chain and neglect and avoid him have to live in a pen in a shelter..  She is going to foster him for me until I have room.  
    Talked to Candy this morning.  Linus is doing a bit better today but still not eating or drinking.  It is going to be a very long weekend for both Candy and Linus without each other.  I had a hunch what could have happened and Candy thinks I may be right.  Sometimes things just happen because it is impossible to cover every possible 'what if'.  Anyway, at least this possible cause can give the vet a direction.  Please folks, don't give a dog treats without checking the toxic food list and don't let your children share either. 
     Weather is better.  Only in the 90's and a breeze.  If my body gets some sleep tonight... no... if my brain gets some rest tonight, I will try to be up early enough to walk the dogs before it gets too hot.  One of my distributor friends sent me some cooling vests for the dogs and I am excited to try them out.  Had to make a few minor size adjustments but I think I have all of their sizes covered with just a strap adjustment now. 
    Thornton is making himself a little too at home and trying to nuzzle out Fez.  He seems to want to copy everything Fez does only be there first.  Thor is first on Fez's favorite AC vent.  First between me and Loren at the kitchen counter where we eat.  But right now Fez won out.  Both dogs are butt to butt sound asleep but Fez is closest to me and on the AC vent!  
7/12/12:  Turned down another dog.  A beautiful young male Pyr who has lived his short life on a chain.  A 'rescue' is taking him but they are a shelter situation so he will go from chain to cage.  It breaks my heart.  Pyrs need big yards and trees and fresh air.  All dogs do. 
    Ticket sales for Linus' fundraiser are going slow.  We are just over a tenth of the way there with only a month to go to raise $5200 more.   And his bills just keep piling up.  He began limping on his front leg, found an abnormality so sent off  for biopsy.  Candy is overwhelmed.  I am overwhelmed.  I am an emotional basket case... again... I just feel like I am going to burst out crying all the time.  I need to get out with a table in front of a store and sell the tickets, but it has been so hot.  I really need a dog with to draw attention and it's just too hot for any of them.  
    Loren has had several really bad days in a row.  Hardly out of bed.  He is up today but don't expect it will be for long.  He is down in the shop working on his train and giving Hanna and Goliath attention. 
    I have adopters for 2 dogs but don't know how they will get to Florida.  Anyone going that way and can accommodate two 85 pound dogs?  Neither Loren nor I can do the drive to LR to get them on transport.  We just don't have the energy. 
    I just need some good things to start happening.  I need good adopters.  I need good local fosters.  I need donations badly.  With no Paypal account, this has hurt considerably.  Goliath just had $303 in vet bills and he's not even neutered yet.  Ash continues to have new hot spots.  I'm on the fourth 'cure'.  I thought for sure if was flea allergy, but not.  Now I'm looking at food supplements as several had diarrhea that were not on the same food.  I have 13 dogs for adoption.  Paperwork is a mess.  I can't think straight, and when the dogs come with names that don't 'fit' I get mixed up when I get calls about one or another.  I have a hard enough time, anymore, calling my forever dogs by the right names.  My tension transfers to the dogs and there is civil unrest in the kingdom.  
7/9/12: Amber came over and we gave Zelda a bath and Ash got another bath.  I'm trying so hard to get those sores on him cleared up.  Not sure if they are hot spots or flea allergies.  Gave him a Comfortis on Friday but saw a new spot coming up when he got a bath today.  I know it is not mange.  He is on Taste of the Wild so doubt it is a food allergy unless it is one of the meats.  I had him on Yeast defense so I stopped that but I really don't think that could be it as he was on that all along.  Same with the food and other supplements.  There are no weeds or poison ivy in his yard.  DE has been spread again.  He has had no ticks. I don't think the natural flea and tick preventative is it.  It is all natural oils and it is just sprayed on him lightly.  Just have no ideas.
     Thunder this evening.  Way off in the distance but enough to make poor Goliath and Shela quiver in fright.   I put a thunder shirt on Goliath and opened up the rest of the shop doors so he can hide in the office.  I put his quilt in there in a corner where he can hide and set with him for awhile.   Shela is hiding in an igloo.  I should probably just bring her in the house but it is so crowded already.  I wish I could bring them all in.  Especially Goliath and Hanna.  Hanna does not understand being back in the shop.  And, of course Penny use to be inside until all her playmates left and she got bored and started getting into trouble.  And applicants for Gulliver want to know how he is inside.  If Bear and Zelda were not at odds and such territorial grumps, it would work to have everyone in.  But they are, so we can't.
    Goliath goes in tomorrow for heart x-rays to see how bad the heartworms are.  He has 3 applicants.  Gulliver has 4.  Of course they are all over the map in location.  Any would require commercial transport and the NE states are creating huge financial blockades for imported dogs.  
7/8/12:  There is a much better way to bring rain then a rain dance, smoke, or washing your car.  I have the secret.  Spend 5 hours scrubbing floors and steam cleaning carpets.  It will work every time.  Hope you all that needed rain got some. 
7/7/12:  Last night (merely a few hours ago), the evening was looking good.  I had Bear, Sweetness and Chipi in with me.  A lot of brushing on Bear while I watched a recorded movie.  When it was over, I went off into the other bedroom where Loren who was hogging the whole bed.  I squeezed in and fell asleep.  That was about 10:00 p.m.   The adventure began shortly after that.  I was actually sleeping soundly.  The dogs had been quiet.  Then almost all of them ran out the door.  A few minutes later they were all back...  I'm instantly out of bed.  Closing doors.  Shuffling dogs.  Spraying Fabreeze.  Yep, that damn skunk finally won. 
    You know, you don't think real clearly when you are just into a deep sleep and chaos strikes.  Rule one:  Put on gloves before you grab skunky dogs.  Rule two:  Try to figure out who is stinky without sticking your nose too close.  Rule 3: don't wear China made shoes.  We will get to that rule later.
    To be continued after I get another hours sleep.....
     6:27 a.m.:  Nothing like a good sing a long to get you awake and out of bed.  Actually I was up but Loren wasn't.  I kept waking up when my hands would get too close to my face while I dozed off.  (gloves were an after thought).  I had to go down to the shop and get Sissy and Sahara.  They were still in the exact same spot that I left them in 3 hours ago.  They were also still damp. 
    One pint peroxide, 1/4 cup baking soda and 2 tbsp soap (I used concentrated dog shampoo) does work if you get it on them immediately.  Of course for their size, it took triple the amount for each just to get them wet all over.  But since they were both sprayed in the face, I had no good way to clean their muzzles.  Sahara's still smells despite my dabs of the solution with a towel.  Then I got worried about their eyes so called the vet.  I have so much eye stuff left over from Parker but didn't want to use the wrong thing.  I didn't have a flush, but she said the 'dry eye' lubricant would work.  So I made another trip down to put the drops in.  On my list for today, besides steam cleaning all the rugs Sissy smeared herself against before I caught her, and laundering all the dog bed covers she smeared herself against and my bed sheets she rolled around on,  I get to go to town and buy eye wash just incase we have a repeat.  I also need to restock the peroxide.  All this while I have a nervous break down and pass out from lack of sleep.   Oh, yes, and more cans of Fabreeze. 
    8:07 a.m. A rest break.  My hips hurt too bad when I sit or bend so everything is done in mini segments.   Walking upright with no bending and I can do fine but poop scooping and setting down food bowls and filling water requires bending.  So back to the skunk saga. 
    Loren and I got soaked giving the dogs a bath.  Our clothes went into the laundry last night, but his shoes are on the porch drying.  My shoes; well, they are in debate.  Way back many months ago Penny (I think it was her) ate one of my shoes.  I bought a bunch all alike a few years ago because they were cheap and slip on for quick outside response.  When Penny ate the one, I had been down to 3 shoes.  Fortunately she ate for the foot I had 2 shoes for thus leaving me with a pair.  It became quite obvious when I was ready to take my bath after giving them theirs, that there was a distinct difference in the shoes.  I now had a black foot.  The dye had run on the right shoe.  No matter how I scrubbed once in the tub, I still have a very grey foot.  I have been dyed by a shoe.
     So here I sit.  A grey foot, hands that smell like skunk, an aching pair of hips, lungs and nostrils so full of skunk order I may never smell things right again and an upset stomach from exhaustion, odors and that little last tad of cheese cake from last night that I refused to share with Fez.  I may just go to bed.
    Night:  I stayed awake as long as I could, but the bed kept calling me until I finally gave in at noon.  Candy called, waking me, to tell me Dena's adopter was on the way and to make sure everything was in order.  Then I promptly went back to sleep.  When I woke up, I figured it was around 2.  It was after 4!  Lunch plan had slipped away so we grabbed a bit out.  Mistake.  Always a mistake with my stomach.  Got the dogs fed.  Did not poop scoop today but they did get fresh water 3 times.  Then the thunder rolled in the distance.  Goliath is terrified of storms and the shop only magnifies the sound.  I took a comforter and pillow down and curled up on the floor.   I petted him and Hanna until my hands wore out.  Goliath settled in to the crook in my legs while Hanna curled into my tummy.  If the floor had not been so hard, I would have stayed there all night.  The storm never hit us.  We really needed the rain.  But if the thunder rolls again, I will go back down and curl up on the floor again.  Monday I'm going to check the thrift stores for a clean hide-a-bed sofa for down there.  As long as there are dogs here that are afraid of storms and they won't fit in the house, I need a place to stay with them without adding to the pain this old body already suffers from.
7/4/12:  Lori and the boys came over today.  They were a great help.  Got the DE in the yards, Millie a bath and quite a few brushed.  Goofy and Thornton were the biggest hams for being brushed.  They loved the attention.  The others tolerated it a little while.  In the shop, Hanna and Goliath really enjoyed the attention.  Hanna looks beautiful.  One of the boys brushed her for at least half an hour.  Goliath was restless but tolerant.  The boys are really nice teenagers.  The dogs sure like them.  I'll treat them to Pizza next Wednesday.
    Very little sleep again for the umpteenth night in a row.  Bear is really depressed and he is making sure I am depressed along with him.  I just hope all goes well when I get the muzzles.  Not sure exactly how I will start the process.  I really only have one shot at doing it right.  If I freak him out, I will never be able to integrate him. 
     I need to get Hanna in for a HW test.  She has been on the slow kill for over a year, from when she first came the first time.  She should be clear.  Goliath got re-tested yesterday.  I knew he was positive but wanted to know how hot.  "Sizzling" was the way Christina put it.  Will need to do blood test and heart x-ray before he gets neutered just to be sure it is safe enough.  he was positive for Ehrlichia also.  I started him on Doxy the day he came so that gives a jump start on getting him healthy. 
    Ash has fleas and I think the hot spots are actually flea allergy.  I have bathed him and partially bathed him a second time in a week.  The horse cream is helping but if I can't get rid of the fleas, new spots will just start.  The DE should help, but I had dusted the yard about a month ago.  The vet is out of Comfortis and it is on back order.  Takes a prescription and I'm not sure who in town has it.  I used the herbal solution as a rinse all over him and that should help but he goes rolls in the dirt defeating the use.  I just wish I could trust him in the house.  Maybe one of the basket muzzles will fit him.  I can try that to get him through this.  He has got to be miserable and I am just at a loss.  If every space was not overflowing, I could swap dogs around, but Penny would get into things in the shop and so would Ashina so swapping them around would not work either.  I know who does what and who gets along with who and with this many male LGDs my options are limited to current status.  
   Don't think it is 109 or 107 today but sure it is triple digits.  There is a slight breeze.   I just wish I could bring them all in the house or at least the 3 into the shop but Ash and Goliath would not make for a peaceful pack.  And as I mentioned, Penny would find all kinds of mischief to get into.   
7/2/12:  Another scorcher of a day.  My heart just breaks for the dogs that I can't get inside.  Zelda went 'off' again.  This time Fez was her target.  I was in the front yard working on the fountain when I heard the commotion.  Loren was hollering.  I muzzled her and took her to the garage.  Left her there while we ate lunch and then went to the store.  She was growling on her way back in.  I showed her the muzzle.  She took her position in front of my bedroom door and laid down.  She better stay there.  I did order 4 wire basket muzzles today.  Everything I was finding was $35 and up for the size I needed.  Found a site with less choices but only $19.95 and they actually spoke English with real American accents (or lack of).  And they are made in America.  The first 4 I called, I could not understand them at all.  I try to be nice.  They are just trying to make a living.  But I just won't order from a company that (1) I have no idea where the product is made and (2) I can't understand the person I am speaking with.  I got 4 because I was just not sure of the size.  Figured I'd just cover all possibilities and it was still cheaper then 3 from one of the other places. 
    Zelda is now alone in the family room.  I'll take her out to potty before I go to bed and during the night.  I don't have any real choices.  The garage is just too hot even with a fan on high. There are no trees in that yard.  No breeze blows that way either.  I just need someone to take a few dogs; foster, adopt, what ever. 
    This heat is really getting to Sissy even though she stays in most of the time.  I gave her an extra pill tonight as she seemed really stiff.  She was on the floor in front of the refrigerator for about 6 hours or more.  I know she was there when I started lunch at noon and she was still there when I fed at 5:30.  Getting the door open enough to get my arm in and what I needed out was a challenge.  losing her is not the way I want to get down in numbers.  Besides she is not a problem, just an immoveable object. 
     I figured out if I empty and re-fill Ashina's pool morning and night, she will leave at least one drinking chest clean.  It seems she needs 3 places to cool her feet.  Learning the secrets is half the battle. 
     I bought one of those frozen cheese cakes and a can of cherries.  We had some tonight.  The cherries were really bitter.  Obviously not for topping on cheese cake.  Fez begged.  Cherries ferment like raisins so was not sure if they would be dangerous like grapes.  I gave in on one.  He waited for more.  I gave in one a second and then decided I better toss the rest.  Sure don't want to harm him.  I need to research all the different canned fruit.  He seems to like it all.  If it is good for him, then what a great treat. 
7/1/12:  Enough frustration in my world without dealing with the likes of big billion dollar corporations.  Paypal said my drawing on the fundraiser for Linus was "gambling" so I had to remove ticket purchases through Paypal, which I did.  I had to revamp the whole page... over and over again.  After 3 days, I get an email that it is resolved.  Then some fool uses my 'chip in' link to purchase a rug.  Screws up my whole account again.  The Chip-In button had nothing to do with (1) the drawing or (2) a rug purchase.   It has now been a week, about 10 full hours on the phone with 10 different people (I take down names) and emails from another 12 different people.  I have not gotten enough donations through Paypal through the years to warrant this much stress.  A few months ago I quit dealing with Wal-mart and now I would like to quit dealing with Paypal.  You know, you "can not close an account that is limited" what ever the hell that means.  I have tried to remove every Paypal donate button so please, if you come across one I have missed, please email me the page link.  I don't want anyone throwing money into a wormhole (or sewer pit) like Paypal.  I will never get the donation.
    It is hot.  I am tired.  The dogs are miserable.  I have tried to keep my frustration under control, but they are feeding off my negative energy.  I just can't help it.  If I knew how to hack,  I would target Paypal.  I would distribute all their profits to non-profit groups and then wipe their system clean so they could never recover it.  But I'm lucky to even post on Facebook and keep my site going.  We get sucked into 'easy' and into 'cheap' and it is our own faults as a nation of 'give me's' that we have become sheep lead blindly to the slaughter of our rights and freedoms. 
6/30/12:  Time just keeps flying yet dragging.  Dawn, an adopter friend came over from OK to help for a few days.  It was great having company and the help.  My guys all just walk around and accept her little 11 pound dog.  No one thought it was dinner. 
    It was 109 yesterday according to the car temp reader.  I think it is even hotter today.  I just wish there was some ways to get Ash, Penny and Shela out of the heat.  They have a pool and igloos and plenty of shade and ice in their water but just no breeze today.  I think of all the dogs out at one of the "rescues" around here and they have no shade and no fresh water let alone ice or AC.  And the dogs in old antiquated Animal Control facilities I have been to that have little inside runs and no AC and not even a fan to stir up the air.  Hotter inside then out.  Talk about dogs baking inside a car, that is equivalent.   Even with a billion dollars, it would not make for perfect for every dog because there are just not enough perfect people for every dog brought into this world by the irresponsible or the money hungry puppy miller.  But what a wonderful change we could make in making things right for the ones we do save and try to find homes for.   Murders in prison have it way better then these poor innocent dogs. 
    I had to muzzle Zelda yesterday.  Left it on her for about 2 hours.  We had a long discussion.  I also had a long discussion with Sahara.  They have been 'strutting' around each other for quite awhile but Thursday it boiled over into a fight.  Sahara is not a fighter and was on the bottom.  Of course almost everyone had to join in.  Mob mentality.  Don't know if they were choosing sides or just jumping in.  Dawn grabbed the hose and we had a lot of wet dogs.  Yesterday I got some calming pills down Zelda.  That went well.  Last night they passed each other several times without incident.  Today has been very calm.  Zelda still wants everyone out of the kitchen when she eats and that's ok.  But if she growls for any other reason, I pick up the muzzle and show it to her.  Not going to say the problem is solved, but at least under control for awhile.  I really need to buy basket muzzles for her and Bear, but measuring is confusing and the darn things are expensive.  Not one of those things you can go in and buy in a store.  At least not around here.
  I broke down and gave into my craving.  I hope it does not come back to get me.  I love ice cream and use to be able to eat Haagen Dazs.  Use to, key word.  Now I can't eat any ice cream without fear of intestinal agony.  I'm fine with milk and other dairy products.  Not sure why not with ice cream.  But it hate me as much as I love it.  I only had about 5 teaspoons/ bites.  Will know in a few hours if it was a mistake,  but for right at the moment, I am savoring the taste... 
6/26/12:  I lost yesterday.  Loren picked up Hanna and went straight to bed when he got home around noon.  Got up briefly to eat and then back to bed.  Those trips really did him in.  Hopefully we are all done for quite a while.  Sure no more coming in because every corner is full.  Hanna is not overjoyed in the shop, but for now, that is just the way it's going to have to be.
    This morning was a nervous break down event.  Ever try dealing with big internet?  Paypal sends notice my fundraiser is "gambling" and illegal under their terms of use agreement.  I won't go into the numerous phone calls and hours of arguing that the instructions in the email don't 'fit' the Paypal site.  The headings they said to use were not there.   Loren had to get on the phone because even though it is my account, he is their authorized person.  It was a very frustrating nightmare.  I had to change my fundraiser page and take of the Paypal option.   I know someone had to have reported it.  This outfit is too big to notice less then $100 coming in.  Some people just have nothing better to do then cause others trouble.  What a sad life they must live, void of friends and usefulness.
     So I 'hit the streets' with tickets in the afternoon.   Didn't get far as ran out of my flyers.  Had not intended to leave them but places wanted them left to help me.  I'm out of printer ink and it won't come until Thursday.  Did you notice they no longer use that Staples commercial with the ink they always have?  They do not have mine.   Went the way of the Wal-mart "slashing prices" commercial and the Wendy's "Where's the beef?"    When you live in Podunk America you do have to be grateful for the internet and UPS.  
     It was 99 degrees when I fed at 5.  I feel bad for Shela, Ash and Penny.  No AC in their yard.  Lots of shade and a breeze from the house AC and a pool but still very warm.  Ashina and Gulliver have AC but they don't go in the dog house to take advantage of it.  Penny and Ash always did.  Can't switch as Gulliver barks all night.  He has to be as far from the house as possible.  Ash is really good.  If he does bark, I just open the window and ask him nicely "Ash, please no barking" and it works... unless there is a skunk or deer close in his view. 
     Betty came at 7 this morning and all the dogs got walked before it got too hot.  Goofy was so happy!!  After I fed, I switched them around.  It has been over a week since Bear was on this side.  He was so happy.  Fez was extremely unhappy, as was Thornton.   I have got to figure out how to measure for a basket muzzle and get one for Zelda and one for Bear.  Then they can all learn to live together.  
6/24/12:  Wee hours of the morning.  They have not stopped all night.  I can hardly walk my hip is so bad.  I can't sit at all.  Loren is going to have to go alone to pick up Shela and again tomorrow to pick up Hanna.  I am scared as he is not getting any sleep either.  And he is not doing well right now.  I can't take this... I try so hard and then it all falls apart.  I can barely walk down the hill to feed.  No way can I carry 7 bowls down the hill so somehow I need to get some bags of food down there so I can fill from the shop.  But it is still a lot of walking that I can barely do.  Level ground, yes.  Hills, no. I need more then one nights sleep a week.  I can't handle 18 dogs alone as bad as I hurt.  As tired as I am.  The excitement of being able to continue to rescue because I had offers of help dwindled fast.  Now I am in a worse situation then I was several months ago.  And there is no way out.  You don't just quit instantly.  You can't just open the gates and tell them all to go find their own home.  But at this point it is quite tempting.  The barking has been non-stop.  I have seriously considered buying a hid-a-bed for the family room.  It is farther away from the barking.  It's more skunks.  Guess I should be grateful no one has gotten sprayed.  
    Afternoon:  It is HOT!  There is a slight breeze and everyone has shade and all but 3 have AC.  No choices.  I am at a loss what to do about Zelda.  She is just terrorizing everybody but Sahara.  Sahara just ignores her but the rest will stand out in the heat afraid to come in.  I can move around but it's the up and down and sitting that is impossible.  Zelda is getting worse by the day.   I need to check out basket muzzles and if dogs can still get a drink.  Her and Bear hate each other but they may have to learn to live together muzzled so everyone else can relax.  I'm afraid no matter who I put her with she will act the same or worse.  Just too many dogs in the house.  Not enough humans to go around.  I don't see how other people who rescue can not feel terrible about just sticking them out in a yard and only contact is when feeding.  My foster home dreams are crushed.  At least one is hanging in there (they love the dog) and another will but 5 hours away is too hard. 
     A 35 day re-cap.  (Time is round trip driving time): 
     May 20 Richland, MO. - Amber & Bernie to Candy  (7 1/2)
     May 27 Marshfield, MO. - Ashina and Angel to Candy (6). 
     May 30 Leslie, AR. - Maxwell to Althea.  (4)
     June 4 West Plains to save Shela for AC.  (3)
     June 7 boondocks for home visit (turned them down). (2)
     June 12 Springfield to swap 4 puppies and Shela for Ashina and Gulliver. (5)
     June 13 Horseshoe Bend to get Thornton.  (3)
     June 19 Ash Flat to get Goliath. (4)
     June 24 Cabool to bring back Shela (4)
     Tomorrow (June 25) Imboden to bring back Hanna. (4)
      Figuring average 50 miles traveled per hour... That is 2125 miles just for transporting dogs or roughly $460 for gas. 

     I can't sit more then a brief trip to town and then I have to lay the seat back.  Loren picked up Shela this morning.  He will be going alone to pick up Hanna tomorrow.  Hopefully there are no more coming back after Hanna. 
      I babysit Millie for a week and worry she will jump the fence.  Been racking my brain how to rig the gate so it is higher.  She can clear it.  I may have to put her in the shop with Hanna and Goliath.  They should all do fine together.  
    With that skunk taking up residency, every night is a barkfest. 
6/22/12:  Had a brilliant idea... I hope.  Look-see  If we don't raise the money, you are all invited to my funeral. 
   Almost tomorrow:  Going to the doctor was not a good idea.  I just woke up itching like crazy.  I got up and I am covered in hives.  Apparently an allergic reaction to the Doxycycline.  It is so safe for the dogs.  I never thought it would not be safe for me.  This is the doctors prescription.  And my hips that are 'going out' on me are cramping.  I could not sit before going to the doctor, now I can barely stand up.  Loren told me if I hadn't insisted he go to the doctor, he wouldn't have cancer... Well, if I had not went to the doctor I would not have hives itching like crazy and I would not have the severe cramping in my hips.  Anyway, called the emergency room and they said take Benadryl, which I already had in my hand just waiting to be sure.  I had Bear on the bed with me for an hour, but I don't think it is poison Oak or poison Ivy as these are just massive welts from head to toe.   I had that several years ago and it didn't look like this.  And these cramps would not be from that anyway.  Meds, possible.  
6/21/12:  Loren went fishing.  I'm functioning in slow motion.  My hips are killing me.  I may need a hip replacement too.  Bet Linus will rehab better then me.  I've not fed yet.  I spent 10 minutes trapped on the toilet.  My bathroom door opens in and towards the toilet.  Right next to the toilet is the tub.  When the door is fully open, it blocks the front of the toilet and comes a few inches from the tub creating a box.  It becomes inescapable when you have a 148 pound Fez come through the door and decide to lay down. 
    Need to finish getting dressed and feed before it gets any hotter.  So much for a mild summer.
 Night:  So much for sleep.  Body is killing me.  Got talked into going to the doctor tomorrow.  As I was trying to sleep the dogs all went ballistic.  Before I had a chance to see what it was, I smelled it!  This is not good.  So far I don't think it got any of the house dogs but I got a real bad feeling one or more of the outside dogs was not so lucky.  It has to be still out there.  Guess I'll find out in the morning.  Ugh!      
6/20/12: I'm a basket case again.  Overwhelmed with dogs and disappointed in people.  Adoption fees that should have arrived Monday have still not come.  I love these fur babies and I do not regret a single one I have saved.  But we can't keep giving away dogs while feeding and vetting and spending over a thousand dollars a month out of our pocket.  And I am certainly not alone in being burned.  Dogs don't make promises they do not keep.  I find a purity of soul in a dog that is just not in any other living creature.  Even the grumpiest or meanest did not get that way because they are a dog.  They got that way because of people.
     All dogs are wonderful given the right circumstance.  Zelda is wonderful, but not here.  I am at a loss what to do.  She has every dog terrified.  I know it is because she does not feel good but I don't know why she does not feel good.  I certainly have enough vet bills to show I have tried.  She is the main reason I get no sleep.  She just lays in doorways and growls and the others are scared to pass no matter how badly they need to go out to potty or need in the get cool.  And I have no where to put her.  You don't punish something for being sick. 
     And I feel terrible for my friend and adopter.  Linus has fallen apart, literally.  Sometimes problems hide.  Despite a HW negative and X-rays showing only minor arthritis in a hip (not displacia), he is now suffering from both.  I have never had this happen.  I am so diligent.  What is really freaking me out is all the joint problems I am seeing in dogs.  Every time I go into the vet, someone is in the waiting room with a dog with a blown knee.  Every time!   I am in there several times a week, picking up wormer, getting a dog weighed, picking up paper work, or an appointment.  Every time.  And no apparent common denominator.  I'd like to blame it on China but I'm sure we all feed different food or have different flooring or what ever.  And we have different water, many of us being on our own well.  It is like an epidemic.  So why???  Is there some carcinogenetic in the air that we are unaware of that is deteriorating bones?  Anyway, poor Linus is going to be in pain for months because they can't replace the hip until the heartworms are under control.  We are setting up a chip-in for Linus.  The hip will be around $4,000.  That is a huge chunk on a teachers salary.  The current chip-in on my home page is for his and one other dog's heartworm treatment.   We rarely do immiticide, but sometimes, like in the case of Linus, slow treatment is not an option.  
   Dogs are barking.  My fault.  the light is on.  Try to go back to sleep.
6/18/12:  Browsing online adds this morning looking for some sort of shelter for the 'new' dog coming tomorrow.  I thought this ad was so clever "A varmint killed our day old chicks Sunday night. The Mother hen wants babies so bad she talked some of the other hens into laying eggs in her box. We are looking for a few very young chicks to surprise her with. :o) Please call if you have some babies you can part with. Let it ring a long time please. Thanks, Gerry ".  Makes you want to go buy chicks to take to her.
     I got a lot accomplished last night.  Sleep was not among them.  Between my gut and barking (not me; the dogs) I got an hour at one stretch and about 2 at another.  So I posted all the new pix of Gulliver and Ashina on my site and got some of the pages updated. 
    I know Fez is weird and silly.  A 148 pound bear of a dog carrying around a tiny squeaky toy, getting a drink and then coming to give a kiss, flopping in a doorway totally blocking access to the other side.  But now the ultimate.  I was having a snack and he kept begging.  I figured he would spit it out so I had no qualms about "feeding him human food from human fingers", so it were.  I was wrong.  Now he stands at the refrigerator waiting for the can of pineapple to come out!!!   I have dogs that like carrots, cooked or raw, green beans, peas, apple slices and bananas, but pineapple??  Who would have guessed.  I checked my food list and don't see it as harmful, but then before I get too carried away I'm going to have to do a little Googling. 
    I have an old porch swing frame that is slightly bent that I drug down to the shop yard.  Since the new guy coming tomorrow has never been inside, I need to rig up some shade.  There is one big cedar and a giant igloo but he really needs more.  The Cedar is not adequate for a dawn to dusk shade.  It is just too hot to be down there setting something up right now, but hopefully before dark I can rig something from the frame to the fence that will hold.  I'm sure if it's not tonight, I will be keeping him company and have his assistance tomorrow getting it done.  We are meeting part way so it's walking dogs at 7:30, then feeding them, then leaving at 9:15 and getting home a little after noon.   Should be super hot out side creating shade.  Just no other options.  Or I can hook a crate to the wall inside the doggie door like for the puppies but I doubt he would make any effort at all to either go into the crate or even through the doggie door.  I would be wasting my time, at least in the beginning.  I do not know why I am having such a hard time remembering "Goliath".  For some strange reason my brain keeps coming up with Gibraltar... that's awful!
    Evening: I made a makeshift shade/rain shelter thing.  It will have to do for now.  I took the old porch swing frame and turned the canopy frame upside down.  Had a heavy tarp so cut it to fit and sewed it into a canopy with one side almost to the ground.  Placed it over the doggie doorway.  He can lay on the step protected from the morning sun (or rain) and on a piece of carpet to the west of it for afternoon shade.  It took about 2 hours (trial and error) but I didn't need Loren's help.  He was just too tired today.  I would not have been able to sleep at all tonight if I had not solved the sun problem for... um... Goliath. 
6/17/12: Despite I got little sleep, I woke up full of energy.  No, strike that.... ambition.  There is a difference.  It is early afternoon and I have accomplished a lot.  I sprinkled DE in the 3 outer dogs yards.  Covered over 6000 square feet using a flour sifter.  My hand is tired!   Loren helped me move 2 kennel panels so I could make the yard off the shop 20 x 30 rather then 20 x 20.  It now includes a tree for shade.  Then I trimmed trees around and inside the yards.  Any branch that I could reach came off.   It always creeps me out going under a branch when it touches my head and I think how many ticks might be being swished off into my hair.  So now none are any lower then my hand can reach stretched up over my head.  I did the pathway and all around the gates and anywhere I walk.  I was going to make a meatloaf for lunch but time kind of got away so I showered and then we splurged on Chinese buffet.
    Evening:  There is some silent communication going on between Thorn and Fez.  They were in the family room together with Loren and all has went fine, but at dinner time, Fez went out and was laying in the gateway to the garage yard.  He would not move.  Had to go get a leash and take him for a walk.  Of course, Goofy and Zelda were still inside so they had to go too.  Way too hot.  It was a very short walk.  When we got back Fez was ready to eat.  They are all in now but I need to watch to be sure Fez does not feel displaced.  If so, Thorn will just have to live in the shop.  I can't have Fez getting vibes that makes him uncomfortable.  Certainly nothing human apparent, but definitely some canine communication. 
     I took ice down for the 4 outside dogs.  They had fun... for a few seconds... then it melted in the dirt.  What a waste.  Ash and Penny have lots of toys which they ignore so I took them to Ashina and Gulliver.  I think I may have started a tiff.  I did not go down to check, but I think Ashina was wanting to claim all 3.  They will just have to work it out.  He is bigger then her, but he is not ASD and she is.  All in the attitude.  Ugh!
6/16/12:  Two days of cleaning up the property.  The weed guy did good in some respects and sucked in others, but oh well, it's done.  Lost a lot of gravel which means an additional expense but if he had 'went slow' it would have been a labor expense, so guess it balances.  I just hate waste.  Can gravel moved from one place to another be waste when it came from rock anyway?  Guess when something goes where I don't need it and it has to be replaced, what's gone is waste.  Anyway, only a sprinkling of leaves and some burn piles of old wood remain on an otherwise very clean bunch of dog yards.  No snake hiding places.
    Thornton's ears may just need meds for a week.  I'm skeptical, but vet is trying cheap and easy before spending money we may not need to spend.  Would be nice if this is all that is needed.   He will get a bath and come into the house today.  Yesterday his previous owner stopped by to visit him.  He was so happy to see her.  It broke my heart when they parted.  She and Thornton were both crying.  I went out and set with him for about 15 minutes after she left.  He will do great once in the house.  I have no qualms other then she says he 'marks' so will have to stay on top of that or the rest will start marking.
    Frosty went with his adopters yesterday.  Fantastic people.  The granddaughter wants to be a no-kill rescue someday.  Her dad says she needs to become a vet first so she can afford to save the animals.  I think the passion is there.  Frosty greeted them like they were old friends and really played up to them.  Some dogs just know.   I really miss him this morning.  Did last night too.  Almost filled his bowl.  Wish I had been able to get a microchip in him.   That really bothers me as he is such a magnificent dog, if he got lost, a finder might not make any effort to find the owner and just keep him.  I hope they follow through getting it done.
     Got a call from Dawns adopter and then she sent an email.  Pix is on the home page this week.  What an "aaah" moment.  I love it when adopters take the time to keep me updated.
     It's getting late in the morning so I best feed.  I hope they think they are being punished for keeping me awake all night!  It was a pitch black night with no moon for many hours so don't know what they were doing.  Guess just barking 'in case' or else they have night vision.  Which actually science says they do.
6/14/12: Thornton's ears could not wait another week.  He is in constant pain and they are so hot.  Even his neck around his ears and the top of his head is really hot.  That infection has got to be horrible.  And the look in his eye is sheer misery.  I dropped him off at the vet this morning.  He will get a HW test and rabies and nail trim too. 
     Loren and I spent about half an hour sitting with Frosty this morning.  He immediately won Loren over.  I knew he would.  I was not sure how he would take to men having not been around many, but one 'hi' bark and he was ready for Loren's attention. 
    Weather has been so kind... knock on wood...   It is not so hard with this many dogs when I am not having to haul ice and change water 3 times a day.  When I can poop scoop once a day rather then twice because the heat is not real bad.  When I am not having to keep dogs in the house because of the heat and not having to run the AC for those in the shop and garage and giant dogs house.  It had to be easy this year because I was so close to just having to quit.. totally.  Loren is feeling better and has even gone fishing.  He is able to help some again.  The doggie gods are watching over Ozark Dogs. 
    The weed guy is here.  It will probably be a 2 days job.  Loren is on the tractor and we are getting all the old wood piles burned.  Leaves into piles.  He was saying he came across a den of copperheads at the neighbors just 1/4 mile down the road.  He also said there were 2 cotton mouths in the pond.  It is definitely time to get some Cedarcide but I will just have to settle for paying premium price for one gallon since I don't have enough interest to share volume purchase.  Just one vet bill would be more then the cost of the bulk, but one gallon will cover everything for the summer. 
6/13/12: I put Frosty in the shop when we got home. I had to use his and Penny's yard for Ashina and Gulliver.  He was happy until I left.  He did not seem overly upset, but then it is 5:30 a.m. and I have not been down there yet this morning.  He lived inside his whole life and he is 5, so everything should be fine.  There is a lot to get into, but he had his familiar toys.  Janice will be here before noon to pick him up.  If it were not for the kennel cough at the house, I would just let him stay here.  It is breaking my heart since he is settled in and we are doing really good together.  I hate when they are shuffled around unless it is to their forever home.  I know Janice is overwhelmed too.  More then I am.  But I don't know where I will put the Saint.  No one knows anything about him as he is still with the elderly owner.  I just worry I will expose him to something or he will expose mine to something.  I'm just out of space. 
     Either they were all very quiet last night or I slept like a log.  Boy, getting 4 hours straight is amazing and I wake up feeling ready to go.  I just wish it were not at 4 a.m. because then I am ready for a nap before noon.
6/12/12 (this is yesterday).  The great puppy adventure.  The trip to Cabool with the puppies became a trip to Springfield with the puppies.  That's ok.  It became a very long trip.  I had fed them at 6 figuring by the time we left at 12:30 it would be digested.  Wrong!   We were barely on the road when Chuck threw up.  By Harrison (50 miles) we had pulled over and stopped 4 times.  They were all so sick and so scared.  I cleaned off the blanket each time and re-folded it.  Not easy with 4 puppies huddled on it, scared to move.  We stopped in Harrison at a thrift store where I bought an overpriced sheet, blanket and mattress pad.  Choices were pretty slim.  I got the stinking blanket out and left it on their 'locked' dumpster.  For what they charged for the stuff, it was justice.  They continued to throw up but by this time tummies were empty and it was just yellow bile.  They were no longer throwing it up on the sheet, but on each other as they huddled together.  It was breaking my heart that they were so scared. I had called Candy from around Yellville but we were both too far committed.  She had Ashina and Gulliver so it was not like I could just cancel.  We had to do the swap.
      Puppies are quite resilient as I learned when Candy called that they were home.  Puppies had been bathed and were air drying in the sun, running and playing like nothing had happened.  Linus was in his glory again with puppies to watch.  One of her dogs ran and hid!  Maybe it overheard my conversation with Candy from yesterday and the Ash experience.  Not taking any chances. 
     I debated all the way home who I should put where.  If I put Ashina with Ash and Gulliver with Penny, that is 2 yards with new introductions.  Twice as many as if I just put Penny back with Ash as before Frosty came.  Decided one new pairing was excitement enough.  Good choice, only there was some slightly over the edge growling during their get acquainted bout.  Candy had not actually put them together.  I think if she had, she would have freaked.  Not a lot of us can read the dogs.   I am pretty good at it, but far from perfect.  But enough to usually feel if the pairing can work.   Expecting good results is more then half the solution.   Anyway, as I made my final peek towards the yards before dark, all was calm and I could see everybody.
6/11/12: Long nap.  Sahara let me know I had slept past dinner time.  Mine and theirs. For some reason I am a bundle of nerves.  Guess it is the dog swap tomorrow.  I'm tired but I'm going to miss the puppies.  And I need the room since Ashina is coming so Shela is going there.  She has really stolen my heart.  I am sure she will likewise steal theirs.
    This morning Shela went in for spay.  Then decided I could give the puppy shots 1 day early so Candy would not have to.  That went well as they are so much more social then 3 weeks ago.  After I put them back out of free run of the shop, I brought Ash in.  He was so happy.  After a lot of loving on him, I let one puppy out.  Dawn was the only one in the crate. The others were outside so it was my chance.  He was not quite sure what to think of her.  Of course she was typical puppy climbing on big dog.  He was a tad unsure and kind of hung close to me.  Then he went to playfully chasing her.  Then she'd chase him.  It was heart worming.  After about half an hour, I was ready to give him a break and put her back.  Before I could get her in and the crate door closed, they all showed up and zoomed past me.  What the heck.  Now Ash's eyes were like saucers.  I went and sat in the chair and Ash tried to escape by climbing in my lap!  It was hilarious.  When he realized he could not get all of him on top of me, he went to the middle of the room.  Did I mention his testicles never sucked up after his neuter.  One puppy found them.  Another puppy found his other male appendage.  He's dancing around with one set of teeth attached to each male part.  He did not growl or make any angry action.  He just flopped down on his stomach and tucked his tail!  I was laughing so hard.  I had Loren come help me coral them.  I go outside and rattle the fence.  They run out and Loren closes the crate door.  Ash was still interested in them but I think he was happier that they were behind bars now.  Ash is so sweet... if he just would not have taken a dislike to Fez.

6/10/12:  A house full of sick critters and humans.  Seems like this has been going on for weeks… oh, it has.  Sweetness is past it.  Chipi is winding down.   Bear and Julia are holding their own for the time being.  Goofy, Fez and Zelda just keep sounding terrible.  They are not getting through it as quickly or easily as the first 2.  Sissy and Sahara are still mild.   And I barely manage to get things done.  What ever I did to my gut is unforgiving.    I decided to skip food today.  Just makes me hungry thinking about not eating.  If I have become lactose intolerant I might as well just starve.  I live on milk (and donuts J).    Love salad but it has never liked me.  Steak diet! Now that’s an idea worth pursuing.  Bet the dogs would be really jealous and go on a hunger strike.
    Guess we are meeting in Cabool tomorrow to exchange puppies for Ashina.  We got to adjust the time, though, as Shela goes in for Spay so I can’t get away as soon as I would need to in order to make the meeting time.  It is a good day to bring Ashina in with her gone.  Then I will have a day to settle her and see how things go with her and Ash.  This kennel cough has like so messed me up.  Shela would be in the house if it were not for that. 
     The kennel cough is also totally messing me up on picking up the Saint.  He would be in the house too, thus I have no where to put him to keep him from being exposed.  I could normally use the garage.
   I think this is all redundant from yesterday or the day before… but so be it.  It is all weighing heavily on me and I’m losing track of time.  I’ve been taking a nap right after all the morning dog chores are done.  I feel terrible I can’t walk them, but it’s just too painful. 
    Evening:  I got the hang of this once upon another time uploading to my site pretty quickly.  I do have some memory after all.  I also remembered what my neighbor told me yesterday about my snake.  Well, it did not fit with the one a few minutes ago.  Although they looked similar, but without wings, I was waiting for the 'play dead' she told me would happen.  Nah!  Well it is now.  Shredded with a shotgun.  This is totally stupid, because I am terrified of snakes and have had bad experiences with them as a child, but I actually feel guilty I had Loren shoot it.  Now for me to feel bad for a snake!!! I must be totally losing my mind.  It was not like it could not have slithered off.  Maybe Penny just had it frozen in fear.  She certainly was determined, but cautious.  She was a real trooper until dinner was served.  Food took priority over prey.  Inhaled the food and was back at it.  I had to run to the house to get Loren.  Frosty seemed oblivious to the snakes existence.   A 45 pound guard dog mutt and a 100 pound welcoming committee guard dog.   I think they have their rolls mixed up. 
     Plans for tomorrow are canceled.  Linus is not going to accept Gulliver.  I really didn't think he would.  So now I'm getting Gulliver and Ashina in exchange for the 4 puppies and Shela.  I really don't think I'm getting the best end of the deal here.  But I do believe Linus will like Shela.  The house dogs did and they are pretty picky.  Shela will be better off there if they do get along.  And if not, we try something else.  Anyway, my numbers are way out of control here.  How did 12 become 18 which after the switch, Frosty leaving the and addition of the Saint, will still be 15.   I had such hopes on adopters that have fizzled.

6/8/12: Midnight has arrived.  Goofy is outside and I wish he were inside where I would know he is ok.  His Kennel Cough is way the worst.  I am sure he is way up on the hill and if I go out to bring him in, all the dogs will start barking.  Bringing him in will only easy my peace of mind.  It will do nothing for his comfort.  But I am scared.  Things always seem to come in 3's.  Major a week ago.  Weeton yesterday.  Guess I'll just go back to bed.  My gut is worse then earlier.  Got to be one huge ulcer. 
    Daytime:  My website changed locations in the middle of the night so I have to learn all over again how to transfer files from my HD to the site.... so if I am not blogging for several days, you will know utter frustration has set in.  I'm not even sure this is going to "go". 
     Took Fez in to get his drains out.  Oh, I had no idea how it worked.  Uck!  I kept him in the car so as not to expose other dogs to the kennel cough.  This, of course leaves me to clean his wounds.  Think I mentioned I am not 'nurse'.  I'm so afraid I will hurt him.  He can't have a real bath for a week or more and besides my groomer is booked into August!  I may just have to set up a tub in the shop over a drain and find someone to come once a month and help me.  Water source and hoses are easy.  Just working around the car lift might prove a little getting use to. 
     Back to laying down.  I've had this kicked in the gut pain all last night and all day and being up is beyond uncomfortable.  Laying down is not much better.  The in between is the real killer. 
6/7/12:  I tried to take it easy today.... or at least drag the chores out.  Not sure if that made things any easier.  This morning the biscuits got into the oven before I headed to feed the outside gang so I did not poop scoop and only filled one water in each space.  I made it back just as they were done.  I did a home visit after breakfast.  There was a mis-communication so the puppy does not have an adopter.  Nice people, but no dogs in the house.  Dogs are social.  Being outside with them when the weather is nice is fine, but what about the other 8000 hours a year?   I said ok, but on the way home I re-thought it and called back saying I'd changed my mind.  I could not live with myself thinking I had let a puppy live it's life outside with nothing but some chickens for company and then what if it decided to kill them?  I would be no better then the people I rescue these Pyrs from.  I turned down several more applications today too.  I am really ready for them to leave, but hopefully I will never be 'that' anxious that I lower my standards. 
     I started the evening feeding early so I could give everyone outside some quality time.  I do not do that often enough.  Between Ash & Shela,  Penny & Frosty and the 4 puppies, I shared 2 hours among them.   The adults wanted a walk, but my gut has been killing me today.  It was an effort to do water and poop scoop.  It's only 6 p.m., but I'm headed for a warm soak in the tub and to bed.
    Almost tomorrow:  I went to bed early.  Heard the phone ring but could not get up to get it.  I had nightmares.  Finally woke up in a cold sweat.  Figured I'd go ahead and see if the caller left a message.  Weeton's mom had called to say Weeton had died yesterday.  I know I say 'one of the special ones' a lot, but he was Sahara's baby and one of the last to be adopted.  I also named him after Keeton, my heart dog, because he followed Keeton around like Keeton was his daddy.     You know dogs are going to die, but some just go way too young.  Sonny was not quite 6.  Weeton was only 5 1/2.  Major was about 8, way young for a GSD. 
6/6/12:  I know I didn’t do half of what I planned.  Tried to process some puppy applications but one vet was closed.  No info from another as the current pet had not been in.  One personal reference seemed to hardly know anything about the family.  Several ‘red flags’ went up on some of the answers.  The phone did not stop today either.  Yesterday was a constant answering messages in between everything else.  I love having a long list of dogs.  List is the operative word.   And there will be more.  Candy is getting Gulliver.  She also told me of 2 female Pyrs that must be rescued immediately.  She is getting more info tomorrow.  That 3 hours between us makes it hard but what a great rescue relationship we have.  We just need a helicopter so we don’t drive ourselves nuts.  Dogs are always in the wrong location.  What’s up there needs to come down and vis versa.  
     The farm store had a special on Diamond Naturals.  I have went to a much higher quality food at 3 times the price for all but 4 of the dogs.  I could not pass up the price so bought all they had.  It better not end up recalled.  The whole thing just makes me furious, but I can’t afford $2 a pound when I’m feeding about 30 pounds a day.  $1.30 is bad enough.   But boy the Taste of the Wild food sure makes a difference in their coats.  Soft, shiny and they even smell good. 
    The Kennel Cough continues.  Sweetness is over it.  Five others are in the midst.  I’m just waiting to see if the other 4 in the house come down with it.  No clue where it came from.  Sweetness was never near the Corgi and the lady said today that it is fine. 
    Hanna is coming back.  I may already have an adopter for her.  I put her old pix on my Facebook ‘dogs for adoption’ album.   One of Candy’s friends saw her and fell in love with those strikingly beautiful black eyes.  Anyway, some dogs come back and just settle right back in.  Hanna is one of those.  She just ‘fits’ anywhere.  Such a love.   

6/5/12:  Between coughing (they are spreading the virus) and barking (full moon), not much sleep.  Another busy day.  I totally spaced Frosty getting his stitches out.  I need to take Shela in to be weighed, checked to see if what I see is a spay scar, get wormer.  Need to go get the DHLPP shots.  She needs one and the puppies will be due next week.  Betty will be here soon and we will walk the dogs.  Goofy says this is way over due.  I just need to set my mind to it that they get a walk at least every other day but it is hard alone.  I can take 4 house dogs, then 2 house dogs, then 2 house dogs, then 1 house dog, then 2 outside dogs and then the last 2 outside dogs.  That is 6 one third mile trips or 2 miles or 2 hours considering separating them so I can get out the door with the right bunch, getting leads on and getting out the door.  With an extra body to help, it cuts to 4 trips.
     So many people wanting puppies but not following through.  One is going to an adopter near Candy.  That is the only definite at the moment.  Still some applications to check out.  Two separate locals have been by and met them.

I lost a few days.  I think I slept most of 6/3.  Spent most of 6/4 picking up Shela in West Plains.  She looked nothing like her pix.  She is much smaller but strikingly more beautiful.  House broke.  Obviously an inside dog.  Knew the doggie door.  Jumped on the bed with Loren and cuddled.   But she settled in a little too quickly and became a tad snarky.  She is with Ash to keep him company.  When I get Ashina here, Shela will come back to the house (provided all the kennel cough has run it's course) and we will work on the 'rules'.
6/2/12:  I paid for a space at Gasville in the park activities but just no energy to go.  I might head that way with some flyers and a dog and spend an hour or 2.  I need to let people know Ozark Dogs exists.    
    Evening:  I took a nap instead of going to the park.  I must have really needed it as it was not my intention when I laid on the sofa for a few minutes which turned into over 2 hours.  A few minutes after I woke up, the couple that was here yesterday came with their children.  I was very impressed with the kids!  Talk about well behaved, wow, and it was obvious their good manners was out of love from the parents, not intimidation.  They got my vote... and pretty much my approval even though I have not seen their application yet.  Candy processed an applicant from near her for any one of the puppies and gave a thumbs up, so my local people get first pick from the 4 and her people pick from the 3.  I also have 2 out of state applicants but distance is an issue. 
     I will have 2 more female Pyrs coming.  One will stay in Tulsa until I have a place to put her.  The other may already have a home in Chicago through another rescue.  I just need to pull her and get her safe so things can be worked out.  I also got a call on a social Pyr working dog and some working Pyr mixes.  Man went to a nursing home with Alzheimers and the livestock is being sold.  I contacted someone who called me last week needing a working dog.  If it had been the guy who I argued with and he hung up on me, I would not have kept his info!  I sort of remember our conversation and I must have felt good about him or I would not have him on my list.   So I am sure he will take the purebred.  As for the 5 that are from 2 litters that are Pyrenees and Boxer... yes, intentional breeding mix!!!  .... those are going to be a whole other story.  I may offend, but quite frankly why would anyone in their right mind breed a Pyr to a Boxer???  I see absolutely no advantage.  They have got to be strange looking. 
    Talked to Althea just before Linda called to check on Maxwell.  Linda said the people really miss him, but if they are not willing to fence in the chickens, oh well.  Anyway, she has already assured them that he is in good hands. 

6/1/12:  Vet could find nothing definitive wrong with Sweetness.  She was running a fever.  No blockages.  No heart problems.  Must be some virus.  On meds for a few days.  That cough just makes me hurt for her.  Zelda does not help matters.  I am to a point where I am afraid to leave Sweetness where Zelda can get to her unless I am present to run interference.  I am at such a loss of what to do. My house is already divided into 2 sections because of Bear.  I have no way to divide it into 3 areas without major re-construction.
     Got Fez in to have his drains checked.  Guess they are fine.  I just expected the lump to go down and the drainage to be more like puss then pure blood.  He loves to go for a ride and is fine going into the vet, but he wants nothing to do with being taken away from me or taken to the back.  It is interesting the ‘clientele prejudice’.   Any other time when Fez is looking normal, everyone is all interested in “what is he, how much does he weigh, he is so handsome, he is sooo big”.  Not a word when he looks like this with things covered in blood hanging from him.  People actually look away and keep their dogs away.      Had several lovely people come by today to look at dogs.  One lady came to meet Sweetness and brought her Beagle.  If Sweetness can get over this cough and get a clean bill of health, she will at last have a special home.    The other was a couple.  They are having a hard time deciding.  Penny would be absolutely the best for them with 4 children, but they wanted a dog that either is or will be big.  I guess I should have put her on steroids a year ago J.    

5/31/12: Not sure the Corgi went to it's rightful owner.  It was a very strange situation.  I think the lady was a bit senile and confused, but harmless.  We were running late so I just had to trust. I know where to find her if someone calls and says the Corgi is theirs.  But for now it is in safe hands.
    Left for Harrison and met Linda with "Max".  Absolutely beautiful, sweet, submissive young fella.  I almost hated to take him to a foster home.  I wanted to bring him home!!  But Althea is delighted to foster him and her email said he is great with the other dogs and she and her husband love him already.  So another long day (8:45 to 3:00) is past.  Having foster homes is great but this traveling sucks.  Still one more trip north to bring Ashina down and take puppies up.  Oh how I wish I had adoptive homes for her and Ash, and of course Penny. 
     The house smells awful because of poor Fez and his drains.  Something we will just have to tolerate until he gets well.  And to top that, Sweetness needs to go into the vet this morning.  Who knows what she ate but I think it is stuck.  I noticed she started coughing yesterday when we got home.  She was trying to cough something up.  Then it would go into a spasm of trying to throw something up.  She eats everything she can get her mouth around.  Could be a piece of blanket, the dish sponge, squeaky out of Fez's toy or just a ball of dog hair that might of had one piece of kibble in it.  Guess I'll know a few hundred dollars from now.   And I almost had enough money set aside for a decent amount of dog food.
    I'll be cleaning house most of the day while Sweetness is at the vet.  Between blood, dog hair and dust, the place is a disaster.  Plus I need the distraction.  I'm not going to clean the shop until the puppies are gone.  They are having too much fun just getting into everything.  It is a challenge, but an entertaining one. 
    Almost 5:30 a.m.  Time to get dressed and wash dog dishes and get ready to start another dog day.

5/30/12:  Waiting for the rain to let up.  It thundered and lighteninged most of the night but not a drop until I was ready to walk out the door with the dogs breakfast.  I had brought the Corgi in when the first boom hit.  Not sure if it was afraid of storms.  I slept in the family room with her. …. So let me back up….
     Yesterday when Betty came she said “What happened to Fez?”  I was so ‘out of it’ from no sleep, I had fed him and not noticed the camel hump size abscess on his back.  I rushed him to the vet.  Betty went ahead and walked the dogs.  When I got back, she said a neighbor had stopped to say he “found a ‘fluffy yellow puppy’ on Monday on the road, soaked from the rain.  He took it home.  Was I missing one?”  I thought “did Chip get away from them and they were afraid to let me know?”   He stopped by and brought me the ‘puppy’ which is an adult Corgi.  He is a lovely elderly person who has never owned a dog.  What could I say!  I told him it was not mine but I would do my best to see that it got back to it’s owner.  It is most likely a purebred and it has been very well cared for.  I know someone is missing it.  Not chipped.  No collar.  Did all the calling and posting so sure was disappointed that I have not gotten a call.
     Anyway, Fez has drains in.  I brought him home.  It is a mess but it cleans up.  A little blood is no more mess then a lot of mud.  He about pulled me over wanting to go home.  Glad I didn’t leave him there.
      Today I drive to Harrison and pick up an 8 month old Pyr that is a little too fond of chickens.  From there I drive it to near Marshall and meet the foster.  I’m hoping this boy will be full of good ‘vibes’.  If not, he will just have to come home with me… with absolutely no where to put him.  Maybe when I get home, there will be a message from the Corgi owner.   She is so sweet and I just know someone has to be missing her terribly. 
     Yesterday really was a big adventure.   I had the Corgi in the family room for several hours because of the heat.  We were going to go to town so I figured I better put her back in the garage yard while we were gone.  I bent down to unhook the leash and there was a cobra hissing at me!   I swear that was what it looked like.   I yelled for Loren to get the gun.   I put the Corgi back in the house and then locked all the dogs inside.  We were not sure if the snake had crawled into the pile of leaves it had been sitting on so Loren shot into it several times.  I raked through and nothing was there.  He went and got the shotgun.  I stood guard.  He blasted every pile of leaves around the back area.  Then I raked through them.  We never found it.  By now I was out of the mood to go to town.  We have got to find someone licensed and bonded to come clean up the leaves and the wood pile.   We can’t risk just hiring anyone.  It’s going to be costly but so would vet (and hospital) bills.
     We did find out what it was thanks to some snake savvy friends.  And it’s not poisonous, but sure is scary.  But then to me, any snake is scary.    

5/29/12:  1:19 a.m. What does a mating call from a deer sound like?  A dying dog?  I'm not sure what is behind the tree line but it is very foreboding and loud.  The dogs all ran out and all I could think of was some critter had swooped in and gotten one of the puppies.  I turned on all the outside lights, grabbed the high powered light and raced out back to check on them.  Everyone is accounted for, but the sound continued.  I scared up several deer who raced towards the sound.  The grass is way grown up in the unfenced area so there is no way I can go check it out.  The dogs continue to bark.  The squealing continues.  I hope it is not a coyote a hold of a deer or someone elses dog. 

5/28/12:  1:55 a.m.  Fun is gone, but funny still happens.  Chet is quite the water dog.  He needs to go to a home with a family that likes to swim but careful to be sure he knows how to get out of the water.  Yesterday he had all 4 paws in while I was trying to fill his drinking water. 
     Candy and I are meeting today.  I was sending 2 puppies up and bringing Missy and Angel down.  Angel was going directly to her new family, but Missy was coming here.  This is just not working.  Two puppies, 4 puppies, or 10 puppies, it is still one space.  If it is not empty it is not available so this is not going to work.  This happy mountain I was on with hope to be able to continue rescue was a cloud and I’m falling through without a parachute.   I just hope Candy got the message.  I’ll still be meeting her to get Angel, but I just don’t have a place for both Missy and the dog coming Wednesday.   I don’t even have room for the Wednesday dog but it may have a foster.  If I don’t take it, it will definitely be shot. 
     Anyway, I did get some sleep.  Woke up sick to my stomach (1 a.m.).  Loren was pretty sick last night.  I don’t hear him moaning right now so he must be in a deep sleep.  I have a 5 hour drive ahead of me starting at 8 a.m.  I need to go back to sleep or I will fall asleep driving.  Allergies.  Don’t dare take a pill now.  I’d still be loopy when I have to get up in 4 hours.
    5:47 a.m.  About 3:50 I closed them in and turned off the outside light.  It helped some.  I finally dozed about 4:20.  At least it was the last time someone barked that I remember.  Then I had a nightmare which stayed with me repeating itself over and over.  I could not shake it.  Someone left a part Pyrenees momma dog and 6 one week old puppies at my door.  Then in the driveway were  5 newborn mini puppies in a box.  You could hold all five in one hand.  And then at the road edge were 9 medium sized all blackish brown 3 day old puppies.  The Pyr teats were too big for the other 14 puppies.  Where would I get goats milk?  How could I bottle feed 14 puppies?  Could I sterilize a doll bottle to feed them?  Or use and eye dropper or syringe?  Then at 5:20 I was barked awake.   That damn big bird was in the tree again just driving the dogs crazy.  I don't know if it is a buzzard or what, but it s big and it squawks and it perches up there every morning at dawn....
    Got to get dressed, feed, and get ready to go.  Hope Candy got my message as I will not be prepared to bring Ashina. 
     Evening:  It was a long, stressful day.   Watching Candy’s heart break as she said good bye to Angel.  I know the feeling.  I’ve said good bye to quite a few that I really wanted to keep forever.  Monkey, Shaggy, Griffin, Katey, Sasha, Mazi… the list is long.  But I look at how happy they are and spoiled and how much loved.  And I look at the ones that are here that I just could not part with and think that just maybe they would have been happier not being part of such a huge family.  They could have been spoiled and had so much more attention.  Less shared time and more individual time.  There is a story "I rescued a human today".   We must keep that in mind as we struggle to let go of those very special dogs.
   Right now Fez is watching my sandwich.  He sees that I am not going to eat it.  He is reading my mind and doing a happy Elephant dance.  You know how an elephant sways back and forth.  That’s Fez when he is getting excited.  But he won’t get it right now because Sweetness and Sissy are watching too.  It will get divided up in the other room or I will have them in my lap every time I sit down to eat at the computer. 
     So to puppy play. Nothing to bring a smile to your heart like watching puppies play and explore and get into all kinds of mischief.   I have got to take the camera down in the morning.  They have started to perch on top of the half crate.  All 4 just sitting there so cute waiting for me.  And then the water.  Everyone has to cool their muddy feet as I try to put clean water for them to drink.  The pool is still being ignored.  I swapped out crates inside the shop last night planning to take 2 puppies to Candy.  Anyway, postponed for a week.  So they had a small crate last night.  I swapped it out for the 48” crate when we got home.  As I was doing so and trying to unfold it, they were a big help.  One went over and climbed up on the small crate.  These guys are climbing monkeys.  That crate top is 24” high!  What worried me is that a foot would slip through since these crates are wire.  The half crate outside is solid plastic.  
    I’ve had to move everything off the bottom 2 shelves.  They are now working on the third shelf.  What determination.  They got another 5 yard roll of webbing off a shelf and what great fun as it unrolled and they raced around with 15 feet of tuggy toy dragging along.  And as typical children, if you give it to them, they don’t want it.  It has to seem forbidden for it to be fun. 
    The evening choir is commenced.  Lord, it is long and loud tonight.  They hear something that I don't hear that sets them off.  I wish I knew when it was coming so I could record it.  If you have never heard 12 singing dogs who can't carry a tune, you just don't know what you are missing.  ...Oh reminds me.... Julia is learning to speak human.  She is becoming like the dogs we see on Youtube.  Last night I actually thought Loren had woken up and turned on the TV.  It was Julia.  They really sounded like words!! 
    Night: I slept briefly.  I can't seem to sleep again.  I feel the emptiness my dear friend is feeling.  It overpowers the thought of joy another lovely couple is feeling tonight.  Why does it have to be like this?  If it was just my grieving... but it is not.  Angel touched others lives. Close the door, shutter the windows and don't come out.  Let the world go along without me.  But it won't happen as long as there is a heart beating in this body.  Wednesday I bring home another dog.  Unwanted by one but not by all.  Some you get over.  Some you just never will.  But until you save it, you just really don't know if the joy will outweigh the grieving when they leave for a forever home.

5/27/12:  I know I lived it.  Just not sure what happened to it.  Right there on the calendar between Saturday and Monday. 
5/26/12:  Yesterday's puppy adventures just kept growing.  They continued to play in their drinking water.  Picture this:  I clean out and line up all 3 small personal ice chests in a row on the inside of the fence.  I make my escape.  By now I have put a shut off valve on the end of the hose.  Of course, when I turn on the water, the pressure build up before I can walk the 70 feet to open the valve finds an escape route through a hole in the hose.  I quickly run back to open the valve, but as soon as I get there, all 3 chests are on their side.  Off with the valve, run back to the main faucet.  Water spews.  Find the hole.  Get the towel (same one I dried the pool with earlier) and get the duct tape (same tape I used on the pool earlier).  Lesson: Duct tape does not impede water flow through a hole in a hose.  It only re-directs it with much more aerial diversity.  So now my muddy, once dried out pants were wet again.  I clean the muddy paw prints out of the ice chests and set them up. Then round up the wayward puppies.   This time I will open the end valve, put the hose in an ice chest and then go turn on the faucet.  The hose had just enough weight and volume to keep the chest from tipping.  Of course, the other 2 chests were immediately on their sides.  This morning I am getting some rope and tying the chests to the fence.  I am so mean... taking away their tipping adventure. 
     Evening:  Chip will be making the trip to TN with his new family tomorrow.  It was a tough decision for the family with so many adorable fur balls running around.
     I took 2 naps today!!  I was up at 3 a.m. so one in the morning and just woke up from one this evening.  I'll never get to sleep now!  My second adopter had a change of plan.  Her older furbaby got sick so they don't want to leave her right now or bring in a distraction.  Our dogs do have a way of guiding us when we let them.  Ash sure has guided me... He just wants to make sure he gets the home he is destined for, so I guess it will come along when he is ready.  I already am.
How clever:  

5/25/12:  PUPPIES!! I’m done.  I love them for the first few days.  I like them for the next few days.  I’m exhausted the next few days and then about day 10, I’m ready for them to be adopted!  I’m their mommy.  I’m mobbed.  They can’t get enough of me, clothes, skin, shoe laces, hair, ears.  You name it, they want to eat it.  I put clean levis on this morning.  I try to wear a pair for 3 days.  With puppies, I can get away with it for those few days if I am not to be seen by anyone, do not intend to sit on upholstered furniture or carry clean laundry through the house.  I’m wet.  I’m muddy.  But they are happy.
     I have this routine I have been working on.  A lot of trial and error.  Puppies really catch on fast. They present new challenges every day so to staying one plan ahead of them is a real feat.  One I have yet to accomplish.  Feeding in the shop had to be abandoned.   It was much more fun to roll in the food and then run through the shop seeing how much kibble they could sling on the floor off their hair.  Then while I was collecting the morsels, they were eliminating what they had consumed quicker then I could herd them back into their crate and out the doggie door. 
    Feeding outside presents a whole different set of criteria.  I have a relatively large piece of carpet pad on the ground.  On that, I attempt to put a plastic giant crate bottom tray.   Trouble is they are always under it.   To accomplish this, it usually takes me running around the yard saying “here puppy, here puppy” and dragging several attached to my pant leg by teeth. If I swing just the right way, I only set the tray on one or 2 heads rather then all five.  Now all the puppies are on that tray looking for the kibble. 
     Trying to exit the yard has become futile.  I just open the gate and they follow.  I pick up the food pan (which has grown in size from the first one) and make my best try at setting it down on the crate tray.  Puppies dangle from not only my pants legs but my arms.  Did you know some puppies can climb like cats?  Did you know some puppies have claws as sharp as cats?  We won’t mention those razor sharp shark teeth.
     Once the tray is down and all 5 puppies have climbed in, I try to make my way out the gate with the water containers.  Of course someone spies me leaving and alerts the others.  “Forget the food, let’s follow mommy”.  At least they stick to me like glue, literally, and no longer run off or hide. 
    I had already changed out the puppy’s water but they had swam in it immediately.  OK, the swimming pool needed to become a part of their activity.  They were definitely agile enough for me not to worry about them drowning in 4” of water since they climbed in and out of the small 9” deep ice chests with no trouble.   I switched out the hose for a long one to reach to the pen.  I had a lot of little helpers supervising (and impeding) every move.  The old Wal-Mart plastic had a hole in it.  By the time I got back with the duct tape, I had lost where it was.  After searching by touch (I didn’t have my glasses), I gave up and sprayed water onto it.  Immediately the hole became apparent.  Did you know Duct tape does not stick to wet surfaces?  I went inside to find a towel to dry a very rickety pool.  Guess what?  You got it.  I lost the hole again.   
     Now, mind you, I did not have a shut off on the end of this replacement hose.  I am walking (more like running) back and forth about 70 feet between yard and faucet to turn it off and on.  Had I known about the hole, and my little helpers and all the other distractions, I would have just went up to the house and got a shut off.  But I kept figuring I ‘finally’ had it under control.  Well, after what I considered a thorough drying job, I put duct tape over the hole.  It fell off.  More drying.  More tape falling off.  I finally started blowing on it.   If my brain had not already been full, I would have just opened the shop door and grabbed the air hose.  Instead I hyper-ventilate. 
      Getting the pool in the yard was no easy task.  It is only one of those that is about 3 or 4 feet across and maybe 7” deep if filled to the top.  But when you can’t see where you are going and you have puppies attached to both legs, going the 8’ distance to a reasonably level spot took some doing.  Getting it where I wanted it and with the hole side on the high side was another shake you head experience.  The puppies immediately turned loose of me and jumped in the dry pool.   Of course the taped side was at the lowest point.  Making a 180 degree revolution with about 50 pounds of puppies on board and being careful not to dislodge the tape was a challenge, to say the least. 
    Sometime during this process, a stray pup or two had gotten impatient and went swimming in the drinking water again.  All 3 ice chests were mud.   To add to my frustration, I had not gotten the hose fully turned off on the last trip.  I now had a mud puddle in their yard too. 
     Got the hose set in the pool and me and the puppy brigade went and turned on the water.  Of course I had not gotten it set good enough so water was not heading in the right direction. Once the pressure hit, it rotated it to turn the mud puddle into a river.  Once the pool finally began to fill, the puppies walked over, looked in and got a drink!  I learned another lesson today.  Ice chests are puppy pools and Wal-mart pools are puppy drinking bowls.   

5/23/12: What makes quality of life for a dog?  I guess it varies just like with people. But how do we know?  They can only tell us they love us.  That they want us to love them back.  They want more of our time.  Dogs don’t think suicide.  Their survival instincts are paramount.  But they get depressed.  They suffer pain that they want to go away.  But being loved is always at the top of their wish list.  It even outweighs food for the starving. 
     Ash is alone in Jericho’s yard.  He didn’t bark much last night.  I gave him some attention today and he got a long walk.  This evening I went down and gave him some extra food, patched a squeaky toy for him to tear up and several hard bone toys.
WARNING!!  This looks funny at first, but watch what happens.  Learn form it folks!
5/22/12 - 2:58 a.m.:  Ash did so good all night but the races to the top of the hill began to make me nervous.  Goofy is up there and he is uncomfortable around Ash.  I do not expect any problems, but neither do I want Goofy to feel like he can't come in.  I felt really bad putting Ash in his yard a few minutes ago.  He didn't understand.  It is so odd how he has begun to endear himself to me.  He cannot stay, but it is like he continues to apologize.  He is definitely going through a learning process.  It is good I have him.  It is a critical time in his maturity process.  The teenager who is unsure of which path he is to take.  Independence, peer pressure, wanting to belong. 
    Loren got gout earlier tonight.  He has not been taking his prevention meds.  The bottle he grabbed had expired 18 months ago.  Another bottle of the same was 7 months outdated.  I understand.  I have stuff I should be taking.  Hate meds for dogs and hate them for humans unless there is not a natural alternative.  Anyway, I called the hospital to get the doctor on call to see what I have here that would be safe for him to take.  Dr. said Prednisone.  I asked what mg.  since he had used up what he had been prescribed.  I know I made his night when I told him I had some left over from the dog.  He told me I needed a bunch since he should get 20 mg.  I guess he was thinking little dog.  Jericho’s pills are 20 mg.  Loren only outweighs Jericho by 30 pounds.
     Speaking of Jericho, I called Susan to verify the pill size.  Jericho is doing great.  He met the vet, neighbors, neighbor dogs.  I had to laugh.  She said she just had not remembered him being so big!   I guess everyone was pointing that out to her too.  He is extremely big for a Pyr. 
     Back to bed.  I will probably take a long nap again today after dog walking. 
     Just before midnight:  Not a good evening.  The day went well until Ash went at Fez again.  I think the neighbor dog was in the front yard.  It makes them all go after each other.   Fez didn’t have much protection since he was shaved from the last altercation.  Loren had already gone to bed.  I could not get them broke up.  Get one off and the other would go at it.  Ash was being so good and now it all went to hell.  No more chances.  He is in the yard Jericho had been in.  A good thing I had a place to put him besides the garage yard.  He is upset being ousted from the house, but I just can’t risk it again.  I have no way of controlling other peoples dogs.  It really breaks my heart, but then Bear has been my heartbreak for the last 2 years because he can’t get along with the male dogs either.  It is that Anatolian breeding.  I’m not sure if I should move Frosty for the rest of the week or just leave all as is.  Ash sure wants to be back with Penny rather then alone but I am afraid Frosty would bark behind the house and Loren has to get some sleep.  I can manage on 2 hours.  He needs 8. 
    And Goofy is pushing Fez also.  He is extremely jealous.  Poor Fez is about as passive and agreeable as a dog can get.  He avoids any kind of situation.  If he has to walk way around, he will.  He did defend himself this time, but only because he had to.  So I am done.  My life is out of control.  I need to be at 4 or 5 dogs and that is it.  Courtesy listings, fosters, putting people together for re-homing dogs, but no more here.  I said it before and I was close, and I was also very miserable, but I think the writing in on the wall in big bold print.  The door is locked and I need to stop trying to climb through the window.  My priorities have to change.  Changing my heart will be the hard part.
5/21/12:   Puppy Videos:  ( hope these links work)   and    and 
    I have been struck by the puppy disease.  Sleep, move, eat, nap.  Only my nap came after moving to feed them (not myself.  Loren is at the dentist and I'm starved.  I've not done 'shake and bake in years but it sounds good.  Picked up pork chops yesterday and the coating and I am definitely ready.  Just wish I knew if he was going to be hungry at 11 when he should be home. 
    Afternoon:  I feel like beating my head against a brick wall.  How in Dogs name can I get it across to people DO NOT SHAVE A DOUBLE COATED DOG!  At least a few adopters have actually listened and have actually called to ask, abiding by the contract they signed not to cut the coat any shorter then 2".  Another beautiful dog will now have a Goofy coat which has to be combed every 2 or 3 days or it is a matted mess.  I've had so many dogs come to me shaved down and hang around until their coat grows out that I know exactly what I am talking about.   It is this kind of thing that just makes me crazy.  Vets, groomers, animal professionals should know!!!  

5/19/12:  I got up at 4 a.m..  Not on purpose.  I fed Jericho so it would have plenty of time to digest before we left.  Figured I might as well stay up when my spot on both beds became occupied.  Loren sprawled out and the dogs took over my bed.  Thought I’d get a lot accomplished before I had to leave at 8 to meet Susan with Jericho.  Wrong! 
     At 5:30 I headed down to feed puppies and Frosty and Penny.  Guess what.  I had a welcoming committee of 3.  I am still unsure how they escaped but thank goodness I took the time to sit with them and start the social process.   They followed me into the shop where I set their food so I could corral them.  One is still having to be hand fed.  I need to turn it over and see if it is Dena or Chuck.  Anyway, after I figured it had enough to sustain it briefly, I went out to check for escape routes.  Lesson learned:  puppies would rather have a person then food.  All came out to help.  I stacked some more bricks and moved some things around.  Mission accomplished.  Getting out of the yard was a whole different story.  Have you ever tried to move with 5 puppies all clinging to your pants legs with teeth and claws?  I felt like I was standing in cement and it was quickly hardening.  I could not move without chancing hurting one.  The water was close so I picked it up as a distraction… you thought I was going to say I dumped in on them… you know me better then that!  Anyway, they followed the ‘moving object’ turning loose of me so I could escape.  Lesson learned: You got to move fast (and think fast) when attacked by 5 puppies.  Took the water and dumped it and went to feed Frosty and Penny.  Before they even finished eating I had an audience.  Two puppies were on their way towards me and another was squeezing through a hole I had overlooked. 
     I called up to the house and woke up Loren.  He had not gotten to sleep until 3 a.m.  He said he was sleeping with a freight train.  That is his way of saying I was snoring.  I needed help getting the fence secure.  I had already made several attempts but then undid them thinking they could be dangerous for these active and mischievous little characters.  One has conquered climbing up on the top of the crate.  It’s just half a giant crate for outside shelter, but still about 18” above the ground.  Considering that is 2 ½ times the height of the pup, that is quite a feat. 
    I finally managed to get everyone back in the crate and put a blockade across the doggie door.  Lesson: If I can put it there, puppies can figure a way around it or over it.  They managed both.  My second, double secure, attempt was much better.  At least it delayed the pending results.  Outside in the yard we zip tied one of those dog crate dividers over the hole in the fence.  We screwed another to the outside wall of the shop next to where we had already put one yesterday.  A bunch of bricks and 2 x 4’s later, I think we have it.  Think being the operative word.
    When I went in to let the puppies out, Chip had fallen asleep in a fully prone position in the food tray.  I have been using a stainless steel oven pan, about 12” x 18” x 2” deep.  I so wish I had had my camera.  He looked like a fish with his hind feet straight out and front legs back at his sides and his chin resting on the side of the pan.  He was totally oblivious to the other puppies climbing over him when I lifted the barrier out of the way. 
    When we got home from dropping Jericho, they were all still in their yard.  Actually, all asleep in the crate.  I disrupted them after I snuck in with fresh water (I do wish they would stop climbing in it).  They woke up when I put their lunch tray in the crate.  That is when I made an exit, went to the house and went straight to bed.  (11:30 a.m.)
     3:05 and I had a great nap.  Loren is still asleep.  So are all the dogs.  I left a message for Susan because I asked her to call as soon as she was home with Jericho.  No answer.  That worries me.  I’ve never ‘lost one yet’, but things can happen.  Wrong place, wrong time, crazies on the road.  I’ll feel much better when I hear all are safe.  Later: Susan was calling my cell which I neglected to tell her we only use when on a dog run and then turn it off.  I know, we are so behind in tech.  We can't get any bars here anyway, so no point in getting fancy. 
    One last trip down to check on the puppies.  When they are out and about in the shop, I need to keep closer tabs on them.  They are definitely curious and into everything.  It is cute now, but when electrical cords become tuggy toys (always unplugged) and the vacuum falls over or the iron, they might get hurt.  Chuck is filling out and fluffing up so now I can tell each one apart.  Dena is my little runt.  Still hand feeding her.  I always become partial to the ones who need me most or are the least pretty.  She has a small eye.  She reminds me of Elf.   The 3 days of worming is done.  Shots on Monday or Tuesday.  Don't want to load up their systems all at once. 
    I realized tonight that for 3 days (Wed-Fri) I had 18 dogs here!!!  It was not that long ago I was at 12 and going down. But if you keep up with my blog and catch my mood swings I think it is quite evident that although there are more dogs and more exhaustion, it is physical rather then emotional.  Another case of doing something I have to do (stop rescuing) without wanting to do it. 

5/18/12:  Ever do something you know is right but still don't want to do it?  A stray was chipped.  The breeder wants it back.  The buyer had obviously neglected the dog for a long time.  I have to put myself in the breeders shoes (only philosophically) and look at it as if it were one of my adopted out rescues that turned up in horrible shape.  I would not want penalized nor scrutinized nor denied because I trusted someone and they failed to live up to that trust.  (addendum: we had a long conversation and I feel real good about her getting the dog back).
     Permanent markers are not permanent on puppy paws.  Of course, when you have 5 puppies who like to swim in their water bowls, it does have a tendency to shed ink color.  So they all got re-marked as I gave them the wormer this morning.  One more dose tomorrow and then I really do need to come up with a permanent identification system.  I pretty much have  Chet, Chip and Dawn figured out at a glance, but I have to turn Dena and Chuck over to see who is who.  Dawn's ears are more rounded.  Chip is slightly yellow all over whereas the others are real white.  Also, pick him up and you get attitude!   Chet is the fluffy white.  Actually all are starting to fluff out.  That bath and good food, I guess.   I am enjoying them but this instant attachment to me does make it hard to walk. 
    Jericho leaves tomorrow.  I am going to meet Susan part way so she will not have such a long day.  This way I will be able to get him through the curvy part on my lap while Loren drives.  It is only about 45 miles but a good hour and a half if we are not stuck behind a loaded truck.
   I am adjusting to Frosty.  I'm no longer uncomfortable with him.  I suspect because he is not uncomfortable with me.  We have formed a mutual trust.  But he really needs a home ASAP, permanent or foster.  He cries every time I leave the yard to come back to the house.  I feel so bad. 
    Ash did have to go in the garage yard last night.   We are at the adjustment stage.  He is not sure what is ok and what is not.  Sometimes the garage has to be the 'time out' for him to understand what 'no' means.  He still forgets and does a little jealousy growl when someone else comes over to me to be petted.  Sharing me is not high on his list of easy to accept.
Evening:  Just got off the phone with Jericho's mommy to be.  He is going to be so loved.  I am so happy for him.  We will meet in the morning part way.  I just wish I could have gotten him a bath, but too dangerous because of the heartworm treatment.  He is just so much like Keeton, both looks and that special look into your soul personality. 
5/17/12:  The morning has not gone well. I came down to 5 escapees hiding under the shop.  There is no crawl space, at least not by human standards.  The shop is built into a hill.   Half on solid ground and half on support extending over the mini cliff.  At the puppy end the support 2 x 12's are set farther back into the hill.  Think of a rectangular funnel. (I know there is no such thing, but use your imagination.)  I started the capture project about 7:30. I shook the pan of food and put it down. No luck.  I could see the escape route they took.  I filled water and made noise.  Then I snuck out of sight and was very quiet.  Finally 2 came out.  Then a third.  They went in through their exit hole and were back in the yard.  By the time I circled the 20 x 20 yard, one had returned to hiding.  I got the 2 interested in eating.  Finally a third ventured back in.  60% accomplished.  I began blocking the hole.  Loren came down to help.  We got the escape route closed.  Still 2 puppies out.  They were both in the same funnel, so the front one was almost within reach as I laid on the ground in the dirt and weeds and muck and spiders and other creepy crawling things.  I almost dislocated my shoulder grabbing the front one, but capture was successful.  Got it tucked in with it’s littermates and went back for the last hold out.  From my prone position, I could almost reach it.  It was sound asleep.  I had the tips of 2 fingers around its paw, but could not hang on.  Now it was a good 12” out of my reach.  Loren brought one long telescoping pole with a curve on the end.  I secured a loop leash to it, trying to make a catch pole.  The leash was so flimsy, it was really hard to keep it in a loop shape.  After several failed attempts, we went to the house and I made breakfast.   Made some more failed attempts.  Worked in the shop for awhile hoping to hear whimpering in case it came out.  I had to get it before 11 when I had to take Julia to the vet.  They are re-surfacing the road (They just put down all new this past fall.  Government.  Do it wrong for job security.  On my last attempt (which of course was successful as why would anyone try again after success?) I finally got the loop around his neck and drug the poor, scared baby out.  I set and cuddled him and sang to him (probably not the most relaxing course to take) but I wanted him to know I was not going to hurt him.  This afternoon I need to sit down there with them and start a bonding/socialization process.  Yesterday was not all that conducive to instilling trust in humans.  A bath and then hours of picking off ticks.  They need to know all that is over. 
    Evening:  Didn't take much for the puppies to decide I was ok.  May be because I am the bringer of food and fresh water several times a day.  They really enjoy the water... not so much the drinking but the climbing in it.  I need to get out a small wading pool but they are still so small, they might get in and have a hard time getting out.  Don't want to chance it.  Until they got through that little hole by the fence, I had not really realized how tiny they were.  And I thought the 'doggie shuffle' was hard with 2 pups twice their size.  That was a breeze compared to 20 little paws always right under my feet.  Poop scooping was a challenge too.  I need to start doing it during their nap time, not right after they wake up.  I had a lot of help.  I'm enjoying them, but it's only been 30 hours.  It will ware off!  Chip is demonstrating leadership... well maybe just orneriness.  I see a Bear in the making.  (My Bear was a bully puppy too).
     The doggie Gods are upon us.  Julia's knee is ok.  Not as 'solid' as Rob would have liked, but she has not totally messed it up.  He explained the whole thing from beginning to end so now I understand better what I need to watch for and need to do.  Before it just felt like black and white, but now I see the flexibility in handling her with this rehab.  It does not make me a good nurse, just damn lucky.
5/15/12: Zelda's teeth were perfect.  Aside from MRI and PET scan and CAT scan,  I've covered it all.  I guess she is just a grumpy old girl.  Treating emotional problems is so much more guess work then physical problems.  But cheaper, I guess.  I'll just continue to correct her when she growls and be the door monitor so the others can go in and out when she is in the way.   At least she hasn't bitten chunks out of any more ears.
     Candy called tonight.  She relayed a story that sounded so much like something I would do.  Some idiot came flying up behind her, passed her over a double line on a hill with no visibility, only to pull into a store.   She followed him in and told him off.  Main point, if he wanted to kill himself, then fine, but he could have hit a school bus or another car and killed others.  He was not what you would call apologetic.  Quite the contrary.  Anyway, I applaud her.  If more people would take action against idiots, maybe they would not be so arrogant.
     Ash is being so good.  Well, almost perfect.  I think he spent a little too much time with Penny.  The other night I left my shoes on the floor.  No one ever touches them.  Didn't give it any thought until I saw a swish of a tail by my bed and heard a crunch.  Guess I was too involved in the movie I was watching to notice the first theft.  I salvaged the second shoe before any damage was done.  As for the first, it was a total loss.  Now for the rest of the story.  Many months ago Penny had devoured one shoe.  I kept the other one and had been using it as a door stop in the bathroom door so Parker would not get trapped in my bathroom if there was a storm.  Well, I was in total disbelief when I discovered that shoe in the door and the one I saved actually made a pair!!!  When I find shoes I like, I buy several identical pairs.  This is the last pair but how neat is that that I actually have one for each foot?  Anyway, it's 9 p.m. and he's still in the house.  I'm debating, but I think I will give it a try.  He and Fez have been fine and Fez is ok with him.  Not afraid.     
5/14/12:  Got Frosty in for neuter.  Zelda goes tomorrow for a dental.  Julia goes Thursday for her leg check, which I know is all messed up, thanks to my incompetence. 
    Ash spent the day with Penny .  They seemed happy to see each other.  I'll have to move him back in the morning before I pick up Frosty.  They could all get along, but Frosty is not mine so I can't do that.  Lacy comes on Wednesday for a few days.  She and Ash had a great time so he will be delighted she is back.  Jericho leaves Saturday.  So this will be a busy week.  Then hopefully things will quiet down, for a week anyway.  Then I get Ashina.  Hopefully Frosty will be gone by then. 
    Jericho and I had quality time for several hours in the shop today.  When Loren and I got back this morning from dropping off Frosty and then getting groceries, here stood Jericho in the yard waiting for our return.  I latched the gate but had not secured it with a tie like usual.  Guess from being ignored Saturday (gone) and Sunday (tired), he was going to get my attention.  It worked.  He came hobbling over all excited when he saw me.  He is such a love. 
    It's only 5:30 but I'm heading to bed to watch some TV.  Everyone will be quiet until about sun down and then they start their nightly ritual until near midnight.  Some times earlier and then stop and start again.  Sometimes later and it just lasts until 4 a.m.  I sleep when I can... when they let me.
5/13/12:  Slept long and hard, but up at 3:45.  Early Sahara call.  If she can't find me, which she never bothers to look, she barks for me to let her know where I am. 
    Feeding this morning was different.  No 'puppy shuffle' to do.  Candy wrote last night on her Facebook " Today has been amazing! I've never seen a livestock guardian dog's instincts kick in until today. As soon as the puppies began to explore the yard, Linus (aka Shylo she adopted from me) began taking care of them-like a babysitter. Throughout the afternoon he rested, but was always aware of where the puppies were and what they were doing. When they got into a disagreement, Linus barked at them with authority and they settled right down. When Bernie tried to take Amber's dinner, Linus growled at him then stood between them until Amber was done eating. Truly extraordinary!"
    Weather could not be nicer today.  I'm going to go walk Frosty and Penny, then spend some time with Jericho.  He leaves in 6 days.  I'll miss him but so happy for him going to his great new home.   I'll get the rest of them walked too.  I need the exercise and they need the attention.
    Evening:  Ash has been perfect.  His 'time out's' are working.  He and Fez are just fine.  Goofy is still a bit protective over Fez and lets it be known Ash is still on his 'bad list'.  Things happen for a reason.  Another home is out there just waiting to be found for Ash.  Right now Ash is laying a few feet away from me snoring up a storm.  I'll still be putting him out when I go to bed.  I was going to leave him in last night, but afraid I would sleep too heavy from exhaustion from the long drive yesterday.  I did. 
     I got Jericho's ears cleaned.  He was reluctant, but when he realized I was not squirting anything in them, just swabbing them out, he was fine.  They are not as clean as I'd like them, but don't want to get his heart rate up. 
     Bear spent several hours in the shop with me.  He just needed special time.  I neglect my own trying to get the best out of ones that need homes. 
5/12/12:  If a 120 pound dog lays on your head, is that homicide?  That is if you die, which I didn't.  Just wondering.  When I finally got to bed last night Julia was already there and Sissy raced me to a spot.  My only option was to lay crosswise against the headboard.  I guess I should of given some thought to rather I was head to south or head to north.  Sissy was delighted I was head to north.  To show her gratitude, she wiggled around and came plopping down on my head.  Actually more then my head.  My arm was under her too.  I finally got my face out (awful case of allergies this morning) and my upper arm went over her and I rubbed her belly until I fell asleep.  Don't know when she moved but when I woke up she had turned west.  It was only her butt in my face. 
     Light rain last night.  Barnie always sleeps in the shop but Amber usually curls up behind the dog house.  I hope she had enough sense to get out of the rain.  I'll know when I go down to feed.  Candy offered to take both puppies up there to foster.  Barnie goes to her anyway so she can get him to St. Louis June 2.  It would take a huge burden off me.  She could have all these applications and make the decision.  Of course, Janice has some too, but I'd like to see the puppies stay together until they both have homes.  Leaving each other at the same time is so much easier.  One alone is going to be very lonely.  I feel almost out of routine not driving several hundred miles this weekend.  First weekend in a month no where to go.  I double up on the 26th so it would be nice to split that up, which I can do.  Morning is young.  Barely 6 a.m. so time to think on it.
     Evening: Took the pups to Candy.  That is one long drive.  The "shortest" route turned out to be the scenic route.  Puppies got sick.  One area was even a dirt road.  No more scenic routes, especially when it's an 8 hour day away from home.   Linus remembered me and was so excited.  Puppies made themselves right at home. 
     Came home to emails I can't answer.  Someone hacked Suddenlink and out going mail is returned.  My IP is on a "block list" for "12 days after the last spam attack" or something like that.  I was on the phone with Suddenlink for an hour.  He said what was happening was impossible.  He did not even get mail sent from me from the Suddenlink web page.   I finally copied and pasted all the returns into my yahoo account and sent it as proof.   Then he comes up with this "oh, we are aware of this and working on it".  BS!!!  And I told him so.  So if I don't answer your email right away, I'm not ignoring you.  It is just very time consuming to move everything manually over to yahoo to reply.
     Ash is in the house.  Fez is in Loren's door way.  They are fine.  Before we left, Fez went up to the fence and nuzzled his nose to Ash.  Ash nuzzled back.  Can dogs apologize?  I know they can forgive.  Sure looked that way to me.  I am going to sleep on the loveseat in the living room just in case.  Besides Sissy, Sweetness and Julia already claimed the whole bed.

 5/11/12: It’s time for some positive.  It’s also time to fill God’s jar.  It is a jar I put notes in of things I need Him to solve because I gave it my best shot and failed.  Then I let them go.   Every few months I open the jar and read each one, throwing away the ones that are no longer a problem.  Re-thinking the ones left.  Deciding what matters and throw the rest away.  So since my internet connection is not, I’m in Word.  Beats by hand.
     Positives: (1) the weather has been great.  Not too hot nor too cold.  With outside dogs to care for, this is a definite positive.  (2) ……  this is harder then I thought!!!!   OK, (2)  Loren has had quite a few good days in a row.  He’s picking up donuts for me this morning.  (3) ……. Long pause of thought……..  I’ve been getting more hours of sleep.  (4)…. Even longer pause for thought…… 
   OK, how about “it could be worse”.   That I can make a long list.  (1) Fez is still alive.  (2) Ozark Dogs has a little money in the account (since I have not paid my vet bills).  (3) I did not have any of the tainted dog food.  (4) …… long pause.   Not so easy after all.   Ok so I give up.
      Candy called yesterday.  The had to shave down Angel, the Pyr/Collie mix.  She had sores under the mats that have to have air to heal.  Good thing Candy loves her already as she will not get any interest for at least 8 months until the coat grows to a decent length.  They did what they had to do for poor Angels best interest.  Candy picked up some sun screen and luckily I sent extra antibiotics. 
     Another thing she told me was about a smaller dog that came into the groomers with total mats also.  It was from the local shelter.  The mat came off in one huge strip.  Out crawled a copperhead!!!  YES, true story.  It was about 8” long.  Candy said when she got there to pick up Angel, the groomer looked like she had seen a ghost.  I could handle a ghost.  Copperhead… no way.  It will be posted in more detail on the groomers or Candy’s Facebook page.  When I get the link, I’ll post it. 
     Someone is coming by to fill out an application for Barnie (who I somehow managed to spell Bernie.  I know… that damn spell check.  It thought I spelled it wrong and ‘fixed’ all of them) but he is already adopted.  (talk about sloppy, long sentence). I don’t have a number to tell them not to bother.    I have applications for Amber but all are on the north east coast.  I just am not stressing over transportation on this one.   
    I'm feeling I over-reacted with Ash.  It was pretty brutal, but everything is fine today.  He is out having a great time with all the dogs.  I just can't do this any more.  I'm over reactive.  I'm overly emotional.  I am losing all perspective.  I'm no longer any good at what's best for the dog.   
     Noon:  I don't feel like doing anything today.  Had an adopter for Amber, but that quickly fell apart.  Had a nice young couple over and felt real positive on them adopting Amber until I got into it.  Nope.  I'm on application #7 and fixing to say no on this one also.  Several enquires still without apps yet.  I need that Magic Wand or Crystal Ball.  One gal way up on the New England coast is begging but I just do not have the energy to work on transportation and these people don't understand this is the boondocks.  40 miles can take 2 hours on some roads.  Transport means getting up and driving some of those roads in pitch dark.  I may just start forwarding them all to Candy.  That would be so mean :-)   But you don't learn to swim in a puddle.
    Almost tomorrow:  Fez stayed in the family room and then in the bedroom with Loren so I could bring Ash in.  I really don't think Ash will ever do anything like that again, but Fez is still really sick.  He is not playing with his toys, hardly going outside.  It is heartbreaking how traumatized he is.  Ash is going about life like nothing happened.  I guess that's good.  Chipi and Julia still want to play and be with him. 
     Candy called this afternoon.  Angel is acting like a puppy now.  I guess such a relief to her skin.  Her and Linus are getting along great.  Candy got a Pyr named Nika.  She is in horrible shape.  She is chipped.  She will send me the number and I'll follow up.  If people are looking for her and she is in bad shape because she was lost for a long time, then she needs to be returned.  If she was neglected to this point, then .... Also, it could be a rescue chip so we need to make that contact.   Someone cared enough at some point to chip her. 

5/10/12: Yesterday went totally to hell.  I just didn't really know it until late afternoon.  I'm totally fuzzy on the whole thing now, but the image of Fez running, screaming down the hill with Ash attached to his back will live vividly in my brain forever.  And I was just hours away from calling and letting an adopter know they were approved.  Instead I had to call her with the sad news.  They have an old dog and I just could not take a chance.  Dogs fight and dogs attack.  There is a difference.  I can guarantee Fez did nothing to provoke it.  I know there was something, probably a stray dog, outside the fence up on the road.  I heard the 'mob mentality' take over.  It happens often.  They can't get to the dog on the other side of the fence so they go into a frenzy lashing out at each other.  But it quickly ends with no harm done.  I wish I could say the same for yesterday.  Ash is an Anatolian.  They are just a breed I can't really.... understand.  Now poor Fez has the start of a poodle cut, having to be shaved from mid back to shoulders so the puncture wounds can heal safely.  And I thought things could not get any worse!!!
    Evening:  Lets put thing in a different perspective and analyze feelings.  Ash attacked Fez.  Ash has been here 2 months.  Fez is Loren's special boy.  Fez is totally submissive.   All of a sudden Ash is dangerous and banned from the house.  Lets back up to several months ago.  Zelda attacked Sweetness.  She did much more damage.  She bit a chunk out of Sweetnesses ear.  Zelda has been here 5 years.  Sweetness 6.  Sweetness is totally submissive.  Zelda is not dangerous to other dogs in the house and life goes on as normal.  Lets back up several years.  Bear tried to kill both Frank and later Charlie when each got very sick.  More recent, Bear attacked Goofy but no harm done because Loren was close by.  It could have went really badly.  Bear is still my special boy even with all his issues.   He has his space and his friends but I blame myself for not being a better socializer to him.  I know he can be dangerous to other dogs.  I accept him as he is, just ever wishing I could fix him. 
     So why am I ready to throw in the towel on Ash who has had such a terribly neglected life, continue to look for a home for Zelda and intend to keep Bear for the rest of his life, making what ever compensations are necessary?  Three dog aggressive dogs who can still maintain a large canine friend base and only have one target of their aggression. All the same yet my emotions, analysis, determinations are so entirely different.   If Zelda or Bear went after Sahara, my views would be different.  If Goofy (totally unlikely) went after Fez I don't know how I would handle that.  Or if Sahara (totally unlikely) went after Bear, I'd just keep them apart.  It is a who against who  that makes the difference.  I'm not being fair.  They all deserve the same things from me.   Love, compensation, and effort.  I understand, I just don't know what to do.
    Ash is in the house but Fez is safely behind a closed door in the family room with Loren.  I don't know what I will do tonight.
5/8/12: Those puppies are so fricken smart!  10 weeks at most, but I'd say 8.  Male is 19.4 pounds and female is 16.6.  I put them in the yard attached to the shop.  Was not sure if it would rain so set up half a giant crate on a plastic pad and blankets.  They went right in, happy as clams.  I went into the shop and they were banging against the doggie door.  I had the slat in.  I pulled it open and they both stuck their heads through and came marching in like they had done it all their short lives.  I have never had pups or dogs with no doggie door experience that figured it out on their own in like less then a minute.  I left the slat out and set up a wire crate inside in the door way so they can come in out without having access to the whole room.  They both kept running out and crying when I tried to leave so I went back in, through the shop and around to the side door and snuck to the house so they did not see me. 
     Missy, aka Ashina is not going to work at Candy's.  I am desperate.  I have no where to put her.  She and Linus immediately decided they wanted to kill each other.  This is why I don't do ASDs.  All I need is a dog aggressive dog!  I'm going to have to board her,  I have no where to put her with the German Shepherd here.  What the hell happened to "I can't take any dogs". 
    It is 4 a.m.  I got very little sleep. I caught myself looking for Lacy when I got up.  I missed telling her good bye.  She usually stays longer.  I enjoy her.  Ash enjoyed her too. 
     I'm truly running on empty.  Empty of physical energy.  Empty of brain control.   Just not empty of emotion.  That has filled to flood level.
     My friend called last night and her world fell apart worse then mine.  She lost a farm animal to a botched neuter.  She lost her 'heart' dog to a seizure. And she had a traumatic family situation.  All this within several days.  I wish I had had the right words of comfort.  I really do understand as I've been there (except I never had a farm animal to lose).  Precious Frank and his seizures. 
     Parker is sick.  I feel really sorry for Heather because she is so unsure what to do.  He is her first dog.  I think she is just going to have to take him to her vet.  I hate that I am not closer as it could be something simple like an adjustment process.  She did say he got in the cat food.  That could cause vomiting.  He was fine when he left so I don't think it is anything major internally unless he got into something else unknown.  But he just does not do that.  He sleeps and patrols and sleeps.   Needless to say, I am a basket case about that too.  I knew he would grieve, but also feel contentment being special. 
     Evening:  It is great to have applications but with the on slot for the puppies, I am about to go crazy... no, crazier.  I can't keep them straight.  I really do need to clean my desk of non-applications.  And only answer my desk phone.  Only it is a long run through the house.
     Things were looking so good.  I had such hopes.  I can still do rescue but not have the dogs here.  What a joke.  This is not unique.  The dream was unique.  This is reality...  Reality for any rescue.  I've bailed myself on others.  I understand from both sides of the fence.  I don't blame... just stress.   Luckily Loren has had some good days but when shot time rolls around it will be a tough week. 
5/7/12:  The Pyr puppies are adorable.  Once I re-coup from the drive, I'll get pix.  Barnie is quite the character.  Walks on leash and gives lots of kisses.  Amber is very reserved.  Linda named them and the names 'fit'.
   I do not understand why, if someone wants me to call them back, they do not take the time to be articulate with their phone number.  Loren and I both listened to the message a half dozen times and not a clue what the first 6 numbers are.  Not on my caller ID because I was probably on the phone. 
    Lacy went home before I got home to tell her good bye.  She is such a sweetheart.  Ash is going to miss her.  They were really having fun playing together. 
    I need to go down and set up a lean-to for the pups.  they have a dog house and water and toys, but just incase they want to lay out, they will have adequate shade when the sun shifts and also for the morning.
5/6/12: Barely.  Goofy normally sleeps in the garage.  Don't really think it was his number one choice, but Parker would growl ay him so he would retreat there.  It became habit.  Parker gone, Goofy has resumed his living room sleeping.  Ash was missing.  I went out with the flashlight and sure enough, he was in the garage.  He was very happy to follow me in.  Goofy was not overjoyed to have him in.  Tough!  So now I am wide awake, Ash is by my side, as is Chipi and Lacy.  I really want to go back to bed but this is Deja Vu.  Goofy taking on Parkers roll and Ash being in Goofy's position.  That is not the way this is going to play out if I have to be up at midnight every night.  Goofy should know I am not nearly as cheerful when I'm up all night playing peace keeper. 
     Another email from Heather.  Parker has been perfect.  I was sure he would be.  He was just tired of sharing his people with so many dogs.  He is loving being the center of attention even if there are a few kitties around. 
     Evening:  Aside from the usual cooking and dog feeding, I spent most of the day with Jericho.  It was hot outside so I brought him into the shop where he promptly fell asleep at my feet.  He'd wake up and peek at me every so often and then go back to sleep.  I finally snuck out the other door about 2 to go make lunch.  I checked on him at 3 and he was still asleep.  At 4 when I was ready to feed, he was outside looking for me.  He must not have been outside long as his coat was not hot. 
     All the dogs get so attached to me and I don't know how to avoid it.   I can't just ignore them hoping they will have a home in a few weeks because some have been here for years.  Frosty sure cries when I leave his yard.  He would never work in the house pack.  I have a sense about this.  My sense was a bit off on Ash.  He is getting a tad snarky if the others come over for attention.   He will get the idea that is totally unacceptable, but I don't have the energy.  I can't put him back.  It is one of those evenings where I just want to cry because I can't be all things to all creatures all the time.  I want to go cuddle with Bear but Julia has about ruined my bedroom door.  Oh well, it's done, so maybe I'll find some ear plugs or turn the TV up and she can just pitch a fit.
5/5/12:  Long trip.  Tired.  Ready for bed.  Crystal is now Angel and Ashina is Missy.  Candy's granddaughters named them.  Angel is settling in nicely.  Linus and Missy are doing the dominance dance.  Missy must learn she is a guest and must act accordingly.  Linus must learn he was only King for a week and now he has to share his kingdom (and people) with his guests.
     Frosty has settled in with Penny.  He would much prefer to be with people, but that's just the way life is.  Ash has come into the house and just fit right in.  Goofy is a bit perturbed but he will have to get over it.  That is just the way life is.   And I will be up and down most of the night making sure that's just the way life is.
     Ash quickly discovered squeaky toys.  He is in his glory carrying one around.  Fez is willing to share but I had to get 6 new (or refurbished) ones out of the cupboard.  Fez was having a hard time communicating to me which one he wanted.  I hand, he throws it on the floor and the cycle repeats until I came up with a yellow one.  In the mean time, Ash had already hauled a brown one outside and was back for a replacement.  I suspect by morning, the floor will be empty and I will be sneezing in the weeds looking for them.
5/4/12:  How many emails does it take to line up a 4 person 3 dog transport?  Too many.  But I think we are set.  I keep thinking my brain will get a vacation but it does not happen.  Just moves from one thing to another.  So many things to pack up.  I loaded the SUV with everything and luckily when I went out for one last thing, I remembered the meds need kept cool.  They were already getting hot in the vehicle.  Brought them and one ice chest in.  Leaving all that stuff on the counter so I will not forget it.  They don't need but room temp so one blue ice should work in the chest in 90 degree weather tomorrow.  I want to get Candy off on the right foot with getting rescue dogs healthy with as little vetting and meds as possible. 
     I've spent this evening printing up instructions for all the natural stuff I am sending and some I'm not.  Since I went through the cabinet, I decided to look up some of the stuff I have from the health food store for the dogs.  I know it all has a specific purpose (or many) or cure, but have forgotten many of them.  Did get a few figured out but a lot to go.    I knew what one herbal formula was for; keeping fleas, ticks & mosquitoes off both humans and animals.  I had a partial bottle diluted but decided to fill it and fill a second.  Everyone ran!!!  Ticks have really started to appear so got to treat these guys and am not going to put poison Frontline or any of that crap on them.  Anyway, I will deal with it Sunday.  I did spray the crates in the SUV for tomorrow and also around the doorways of the house.  I have a feeling this also going to be a dog deterrent.  They may not go out or come in.  But nothing would deter Julia from sleeping on the bed with me. 
    I just remembered what I forgot to pack, and of course, it is in the shop.  If I go down in the dark, they are all going to bark.  Not the end of the world if I forget tomorrow.  Even writing a note, I'll forget.  Enough to keep the brain on track to load the ice chest with the meds.
5/3/12:  Parker is on his way to his new forever home.  I feel good about the people.  If I hadn't, he would not have gone.  He liked them and dogs have a sense about that.  All the dogs liked them.  Goofy and Fez about knocked them over thinking it was walk time. 
     Lacy comes this evening.   Dog run Saturday.  That will be a long day since it's over 2 hours one way.  I still have to measure crates so I can let Candy know the size so she can be sure they fit in her vehicle.  I guess I better find out the size of the dogs too... Duh!  Pyrenees come in all sizes from Saharas to Jerichos and pictures don't really tell.  They are girls so I'm guessing 70 pounds and 27 inches.  It is going to be hard to rescue and not bring them home.  Adjustment.  A hard thing when I've always been so independent.  I will be bringing the white GSD home for a few days until Janice has a few leave and has room.  
     There is a purebred male Pyr somewhere around LR or Memphis that is urgent.  Been neutered,  In pain.  No meds. Vet not calling back.  Seeking rescue.  I will have a foster home soon so I offered.  Some how I will make it work. 
    I need to make fliers.  Need to post updates.  Need to take a nap.  Never really got to sleep.  Julia is not happy closed out of my room, but it was Bears turn.  She hits the door with her paws with a vengeance and ignoring her or telling her no is pointless.  She can be annoying for hours, non-stop. 

5/2/12:  What a day.  I totally forgot Parkers and Zelda’s grooming appointment.  I was first so there they set with no dogs to work on.  I have never forgot before.  Anyway, Parker got done but Zelda will just have to be another time. 
    I had a new volunteer come today.  Her name is Lori. She came last week and we got acquainted.  I was delighted that she showed up as she said she would.  I’ve had quite a few come for a few minutes and then poof.  Anyway, the dogs will be getting attention that they really need.  She loved on Jericho and combed on him a little for about half an hour.  Then Penny and Ash had a turn.  She spent time with Sweetness.  She helped me get the AC in the big dog house. 
     House got cleaned pretty good.  We worked like slave labor.  I started with chores at 7:00 a.m. and it is now 9:24 p.m.  I just got out of my cool bath.  Still a bit wet but it is hot. 
     Bear, Chipi and Sweetness are in my room.  Sissy has been on Bears side all day.  I have not seen her get up.  I have tried to entice her to come on the other side but she just lays there.  She does not look sick or in pain or anything, but it really worries me.  She does not normally like being with Bear or away from me.  Julia will just have to sleep with Loren tonight. 
    We have all our connections worked out for the new dogs.  Candy will be taking the ones from Seymour AC.  Two girls I temporarily named Crystal and Ashina.  They are not on my site yet because Candy gets to name them, but they are up on petfinder.  Candy is bringing down a white GSD that hopefully Janice has a home for.  It belongs to a young woman with major health problems.  Crossing my fingers he is as sweet as she says.  His name is Frosty.  I’ve not got him up yet either because he will be going to Janice's.   Also just got a pix of another GSD in Seymour.  A black & tan.  I’ll network her tomorrow afternoon after Parker leaves. 
     I’ve got applications to go over also.  I’m just so far behind.   I just got around to finishing up emails, some from last night. 
    I hope no one barks tonight.  That is sort of like saying, I hope it never gets over 75 degrees this summer.  Only somewhere else will those wishes come true.      

4/30/12:  Chipi woke me up at 12:30 and I can't go back to sleep.  I must have crashed pretty hard for a few hours.  It's now 2:36 a.m.  I need to somehow re-focus.  There are several old, un-adoptable dogs in kill shelters that are just breaking my heart.   It says she was adopted.  I hope so.  Some places just say that.  Not a pessimist, a realist.
     It's such a catch 22.  Old dogs don't get adopted, at least not often, so they just multiply until there is no room.  I just hope that every person who dumps or turns in a dog "because it is old" ends up in a nursing home and no one ever comes to visit them.  I hope they die lonely and unloved!  And the Rainbow Bridge is never within their reach.  Letting Parker go is really tough, but it was never intended for him to stay.  I really feel good about this couple.  She is as excited as if she were preparing for her first child.  I know he will not disappoint them.  And Jericho is burrowing deeply into my heart, but he too is getting a great home.
     Julia must be keeping my place on the bed as only Sweetness has followed me in here.  Guess I need to try again to go back to sleep or I will not survive the day.    
     3:38.  I give up.  I kept forgetting about the 2 very expensive blow up collars (substitute for E-collars) I had lent to Clyde (Julia's person who died) for Julia when her elbows were bad.  I need them and just realized I never got them back.  DAMN!  If that jackass neighbor would have let me go through the dog stuff, but no.  Because he had the key, he thought he was God.  $80 worth of collars and he probably threw them away, just like he did all the vet records.  Now I have to replace them as she has started licking on her leg.   I am never lending anyone anything again. 
     I'm tired, frustrated, scared, heartsick.  My life is falling apart and there is nothing I can do about it.  I once read a book (unusual for me) that was "Love is Letting Go of Fear".  Just words.  No reality there as far as I can experience.  The more I love the more fearful I become.  I have not touched this personal site since 2008.  If I can figure out how to get into it, maybe I will do that next week.  I need to change direction for a little while, but I have to get this week out of the way first. Anyway, it's me, the pieces lost, that need put back.
   Evening:  So much better.  Thanks to Candy, we are going to be able to save a beautiful Pyr/Scotch Collie mix.  Lassies collie, not Border collie.  Ash's twin sister is there too, but the jury is still out on her.  Always factors to consider and the number one is adoptability.  I suppose if Candy and I were not so much alike when it came to being so picky who gets 'our' dogs, we could be less picky who we save.  But saving a dog and getting it into anything less then a wonderful situation is just not adequate. 
     I am taking tomorrow off.  At least somewhat.  It's my birthday.  Candy going to foster this dog is kind of like a birthday present. 
4/29/12:  Spent over an hour trying to locate all of Parkers vet records.  Two years ago I started a different system so any dogs that came in before that were filed differently.  Instead of a "vet records" folder, it is now a dogs name folder.  A lot more folders but a lot easier when it comes to adoptions and chance of a return.  Parkers stack is huge and I still have not went back to 2009 when he came.  Then I need to make copies of every one.  Hope my ink holds out.  Lord, if I get a home for Sweetness or Zelda, I will have to go back to 2006.  Zelda's folder already has over 50 pages in it just from 2010 to date.
     In the process I found records for some adopted dogs from way back.  Some day I may find the right place to put them.  It is not a priority.  It is called "maybe someday" folder.
     I have given up with Julia.  The harder I tried, the more frustrated we both got.  Her healing is in God's hands because mine just aren't strong enough. 
     I spent about 3 hours in the shop with Jericho.  I am almost out of his favorite treat, Goat liver jerky.  He literally drools when I open the jar.  Buying any is out of my price range.  This was donated.  Anyway, it was warm today so I closed him in and turned on the air and turned up the ceiling fans.  It helped him stop coughing.  I guess he is at the critical stage of the stubborn female heartworms dying off.  He did this about 10 days into the first shot too.  It is sort of like having a flood and a tornado at the same time. (roof in a flood and basement in a tornado, so where do you go?)  Two dogs that need so much care.  At least Julia's is not life threatening, just life altering. 
    I have got to find time (and energy) to steam clean the rugs tomorrow.  Julia has peed on all of them.  I don't blame her.  She does not know what she is suppose to do right now. 
    This is going to be a very busy week.  Parker needs his rabies.  He does not really 'need' it, but paperwork says so.  Since the shot is good for 3 years (actually 7 according to the science), I don't get them every year.  Grooming, housecleaning, Parker gets adopted, Lacy comes for 5 days, still applications to check out for Sweetness and Ash and some courtesy listings. 
4/28/12:  I'm a total failure.  I can not keep Julia off that leg.  Even on a leash does no good.  And she won't potty on a leash.  She does not leave my side, but that leg still goes down.  In the crate she was needing out every 30 minutes.  And she really had to 'go'.  Finally she ended up on the bed with me.  Not because I allowed it.  She was up there before I could get her back in the crate.  I gave up.  It's 4 a.m. and she has been sleeping soundly since around 2:20.  Sissy just got up on the bed half an hour ago which kicked me in asthma mode.  There is either something about her coat or something she gets into that I am allergic to.  Breathing in her is way beyond breathing in any of the others.  I have not had an inhaler in years, but think it is time.  Anyway, I'm going to eat breakfast and then go back to bed.
4/27/12:  I'm in for 3 months of keeping Julia calm and off the leg.  That is about as easy as keeping a fish alive out of water.  I've got crates set up in 2 rooms but she will howl if we are not within sight so I need to drag up a few more.  Those things are heavy to drag up a flight of stairs.  I hate crating her but she will be jumping on the bed at night and sofa when we watch TV.  She will probably howl anyway, no matter what. 
     I've been getting a solid 4 to 6 hours sleep which is putting me awake at 2 and 3 a.m.  I'm about to fall asleep and it's just after noon.  If I stay at the computer, Julia is content and sleeps. If I so much as get up to go to the bathroom, she is trying to bust through the door to follow me.  Maybe I should tote the dress form up and dress it in my clothes. Of course, she might notice it is headless and does not speak.
     Parker will be joining his forever family next Thursday.  I am so happy for him.  I will really miss him but I feel really good about this couple and am sure they will keep in touch and take great care of him.  She already said she will put blankets in the spare bathtub if he needs to hide from the thunder. 
    Evening:  It is getting rough and I am about to just break down and cry.  Julia peed all over the computer room.  It was a flood.  If it had not been yellow, I would have thought she dumped the water.  It must be the meds as she can usually hold it all night.  I set up a crate in my room and I think she is crying but I just need a few minutes for myself.  I may have to set the alarm for every 2 hours to let her out.  I'm so tired I could possibly sleep through her crying to need out to go.   It has only been 9 hours since I picked her up from the vets and it feels like a week.  Between Jericho's heartworm treatment and keeping him calm and now Julia, plus just the regular dog dynamics....   And I can't even say "tomorrow will be better" because it won't.
4/26/12: Julia had her knee surgery this morning.  Rob said she needs to stay the night.  I am going to have to figure out how to make some more steps so she can get on the bed.  I know she will jump is I don't at least it gives me a day to figure it out. 
     Looks like Parker will be getting adopted.  Just some loose ends to cover.  She already did her homework to find a vet that can do the duct flush and for a reasonable price.  Hopefully he won't need any more, but just incase everything needs to be in place.  She took grooming classes so she told me I could cancel his appointment.  He is really going to be loved.  One can't help but love him.  He is just so laid back and he will be so glad to not have canine competition for attention.  I'm certain the cats won't be an issue. 
     I have an applicant for either Lucky (courtesy listing) or Sweetness.  I'll be going over it tomorrow and see which dog looks like the best match.  I'll need to call Curtis to answer a few questions about Lucky to be sure I cover everything. 
     My requirements for Zelda are rigid so I've not had any inquires on her.  The dogs being happy in a new place, no matter which dog, is top priority.  Not to say I know everything, but after having some for 5, 6 and 7 years, I am a pretty good judge of what it will take to make them happier in a new home then they are here... and that is what I strive for. 
4/25/12:  Parker had to have a nasolacrimal duct flush.  It is the procedure he had to undergo every 4 days for several weeks last year.  I guess he will always have this problem.  So much for him ever finding another home. 
    Julia goes in for knee surgery Thursday.  She has a fully torn ligament.  I honestly believe it was that chiropractors fault.  I'm going to call and politely suggest a donation would be helpful.  I really feel terrible that I took her.  The original x-rays did not show a tear so I figured it was a cramp and took her for acupuncture.  He jerked her knee and she yelped.  He said he put it back in place.  I believe he tore it.  If he has any ethics at all, he will cover the cost... but I'm not holding my breath. 
     I got a nice, much needed donation yesterday.  It will cover the cost for Parker and Julia (as I'm not really expecting 'him' to cover it) and enough left over to buy a few days of dog food.  Then we are back to money out of our pocket to cover Ash. 
     Loren had his PSA and goes back to the doctor for his hormone shot Friday.  He is still limping from his fall over Fez, but at least he is getting around.  He can't manage the hill to the shop, so I drive him down so he can work on his train and then back up. 
     Betty and a friend who is visiting her walked the dogs yesterday and will come tomorrow.  That will really delight them.  Goofy got to go twice.  We took him when we walked Penny and Ash.  Ash got a bit too friendly and Goofy gave a 'back off my goober' growl.
     I need to take Ash in this morning and drop him off to be looked at.  His neuter does not look right at all.  I had not checked it and feel terrible about that.  I have just been so overloaded.  It looks like his testicles crawled into his penis.  I'm serious.  It was after 5 when I looked so too late for yesterday.  He's acting fine, but I'm pretty worried. 
     Jericho is acting like a puppy.  He gets sillier every day.  I have been laying next to him on his dirty bed and petting him when I feed in the evening.  I'm going to be showering shortly anyway, so what's a little dirt in my hair.  It has become a ritual the past week.  Even the weekend when I was gone so much, I still managed 'our time'.  I am so ready for him to get to his new home.  She is going to be able to give him so much special love.  He is going to be a very special boy to her and he is going to know it.  I will really miss him, but he will be so much better off in his forever home.  He deserves this wonderful human mommy he is getting. 
4/22/12:  I'm exhausted and still today to go.  It's 3:30 a.m. The Harrison dog show this weekend.  Loren is still hobbling around from his fall so couldn't help.  Got Goofy groomed Friday.   I knew taking him to the show would really draw the people to my booth.  It definitely did!  They just didn't buy. Anyway,  Set up the booth Friday night.  Got absolutely no sleep.  Finished setting up Sat. morning.  Goofy stepped on something while there, kicked his leg out so hard to kick out what ever he stepped on that he got a huge muscle cramp.  Down he went!  Several dog exhibitors came over to help.  One had some holistic calming aid she sprayed in his mouth.  One said she'd pay the bill!  She called the vet on call and I rushed him in.  No way could I have driven him to Mountain Home to Rob and got there before they closed at noon.  Thank God Betty was there with me to stay with the booth.  Vet got something so tiny dislodged from between his pads that he had to use one of those eye things to see it.  Gave him a shot.  I was gone about an hour and a half.  It was 'rabies clinic day' so the vet's office was packed.  Goofy, of course, drew a lot of attention.  Shot kicked in an hour later and he just raised his head for attention when people came by.  He looked so 'out of it'.
   Headed home as soon as the show part was over at 3:30 p.m., which was probably not wise since they don't lock up the building until 9 p.m.  I was just too tired and stressed out.  I probably had collars stolen after I left.  I didn't count.  I'll never know unless I look for one and it's missing.  I came home to poop scoop and change waters and feed and empty my ice chest ready for Sunday.  Goofy crashed immediately and slept like a rock.  I could not even get him to eat dinner. He was so out it was like a coma.  Phone finally stopped ringing at 8.  I finally got to sleep at 9 and here I am awake at 3:30.  Guess 6 1/2 hours is pretty good.  Especially for me.  But them 6 1/2 hours out of 72 is not so great. 
    Anyway, poor Jericho really missed me.  I usually sit with him for 15 minutes several times a day or bring him to the shop with me for several hours.  Friday and Sat. was just not possible. Neither will it be today. He just looked so happy when I brought his food and then so sad when I left.  Sad eyes are really taking their toll on me.  Bear, Sahara, Goofy, Fez, Zelda... all of them look at me as if to say "is it my turn yet?"  I'm seeing rescue differently.  I'm seeing my limits differently.  I know what is needed but I don't have the power to change people.  Rescue should never have been needed.  There should not be any unloved dogs.  We all know this.  We all say we have a job that we just wish would become obsolete. 
4/20/12:  Loren is finally getting around, thank goodness.  He won't be able to feed the dogs while on crutches so they are going to be confused being fed at 6 a.m. Sat & Sun and not getting dinner until probably close to 7:30 or 8 in the evening.  I just don't have anyone who can do it.  I worry about Ash as he is still use to at least 3 meals a day.  Most people would think "big deal" but to me and I'm sure to him it is a big deal. 
4/17/12:  Time just passes so fast.  I got a donation from a past adopter.  It is hard to believe it was 2009 when I rescued that particular dog.  I decided to take a few minutes to put up some updated pix that adopters have sent.  Golly, some dogs it just seems like last year or the year before but they came and left 5, 7, even 9 years ago.  It is wonderful that people will actually keep me updated after so many years.  It always makes my day when I hear from someone from a long time ago and how they still remember I saved the life that they value so much. 
    I've had some good calls today.  Two local ones will come by and look at several of the dogs.  A third is fairly close but not sure I have what (or know of one) she is looking for.
    Got the normal stuff done, picked up Ash, walked all the dogs, picked up prescriptions, baked cookies.  I only made a half batch and made half with raisons and half without.  Loren likes raisons.  I don't.  By making so few is the only way I can control myself! 
    The day has slipped away.  I will be so happy to get Jericho home tomorrow.  I kept looking out the window to check on him, forgetting he was not there.   Aside from being exhausted, it was a nice day.  Now time for feed them dinner.
And then it was MONDAY!  Awake at 4:40.  Loren tripped over Fez last night and fell really hard on the tile.  I'd packed his knee in ice but the swelling was huge this morning.  I was on my own.  Fed the house dogs.  Ash in first to the vet for neuter.  That went smooth.  He was really good and did not try to help drive or anything.  He weighed in at 84 pounds!!!   Then back home to get Jericho in for his second round of heartworm treatment.  With the passenger seat fully forward and the back bent forward all the way, he did pretty well fitting in the back seat area.  I usually sit back there with him but couldn't be back there and drive so he was on his own.  Had to keep the speed at 20 mph so as not to toss him around.  He was so happy this morning.  Acting silly like a puppy.  He was so excited.  I felt terrible that his trip was not to McDonalds or the park.  This is the very first day since I got him that he felt good and then I had to spoil it for him.
    Went from the vet to the store and got donuts and milk.  Yummy.  When I got home I fed Penny.  Would have been to complicated to feed her and have Ash watch and not get any.  Checked on Loren and decided he best see the doctor.  What a challenge to get him in the car.  Well, first it was a challenge to get him dressed.  We went simple.  Shorts, shirt and house slippers.  Crutches were not cooperating so I had to roll in an office chair and roll him out the door.  Not an easy task, especially with several steps to navigate on the way.  He got right in... to the doctor, not right into the car.  That took a long time.  Nothing broke.  Just water on the knee.  I know what that's like.  I fell roller skating 51 years ago and I still can't put weight on that knee if I am on the floor.  Anyway, then we got to do the reverse going home.  I got him settled back in and went back to town to get his prescriptions filled.  I swore I'd never go in Wal-mart again but I was stuck.  They have all our insurance info and today was no day to be changing pharmacies.  By now it is after 3:00.  They tell me at least an hour.  So I will pick them up tomorrow morning... after I feed dogs... after I serve Loren breakfast... after I walk dogs...  after I pick up Ash... after I bring him home... after ... after... after.
4/15/12:  Allergies have got the best of me.  It's 3 a.m. and I've been up since 11:40.  Did get a few solid hours of sleep.  I think I'm allergic to all the 'stuff' the dogs are bringing in.   No way will I allow myself to be allergic to the dogs.  I do wish they would not bring in ticks, but then I may be bringing them in too.  I am really hoping to get the Cedarcide soon and that  will work.  I have one really nasty tick bite on my arm and the welt keeps growing.  Something got me on the knuckle too and it itches like crazy and has blistered.   Probably a spider.  It is going to be a really bad year for bugs and slithery critters.
     Wind is horrible.  I am frightened by the wind.  I don't hide, I just am terribly uncomfortable.  Equal with my fear of snakes.   Only a snake you can beat away or kill.  The wind will do what it darn well pleases.  I worry that a tree will go through the fence and the dogs will run.  Or one of the carport shelters will take sail.  We are in a hilly area so less chance of a tornado on the house. 
    I don't think the benadryl is ever going to kick in.  Guess I'll try a second one.  Been almost 4 hours.  Back to bed with my roll of paper towels.  (tissue does not hold up to this runny nose).
4/14/12:  Heading out the door in a few minutes to meet Candy and hand over Linus.  Storms in Springfield but she has been waiting 2 months and not waiting a day longer :-)  I hate being gone all day especially when it looks like storms here.  I have both bedroom and bathroom doors wedged open so if Parker freaks he has choices yet won't get trapped.  Ash will miss lunch.  I don't like overfeeding to compensate but I did give him an extra half a cup.  I worry about Jericho being alone.  Because of the metal roof on the shop, I can't put him there if we have a storm.  Sound is magnified at least 4 times.   He is going to be very confused without his buddy.  I just wish there was a way to have him in the house but totally not possible with his treatment.  Too many dogs and too much excitement.  He would 'throw a worm' into his lungs in nothing flat.  This is all just too much all at once.  The list is long:  Penny needs adopted.  Jericho needs healthy.  Loren needs healthy.  Julia needs to stop limping.  Dogs need wonderful homes.  Dogs need to stop being pissy with each other.  I need to sell collars to raise money.  We need to sell so  much of Loren's stuff.  (motorcycle, engine hoist, bead blaster, etc.)  My son needs to get out here from Idaho and pick up the pick-up.  I need someone dependable to finish the weed eating.   I need to get sleep.  I need to stop suffering from major allergies.  I need to be able to look past the negative and get back on track with the positive.
   Home:   Got home early.  It was really storming and pouring rain in Springfield.  We didn't do anything but hand off Linus and then eat at Lamberts.  I was just too worried about Jericho being alone.  Ash's lunch was only an hour late so that was great.  He thought so too.  Looks like a storm is fixing to hit us pretty soon too.  Caught up on email.  Heading down to sit with Jericho until dinner time. 
4/12/12:  Sometimes you just need to drain out all the emotion so you have room to start filling up again.   And then there are those decisions one makes, set their mind, and then the perspective changes.   I believe I've mentioned I do not like roller coasters.  Real or emotional.  I can live without chaos.  Without stress however, I would not recognize it was my life I was living. 
     Casey, the neighbor dog came over for a visit.  I love that dog.  She is so much fun... but with Jericho needing to stay calm, I had to escort her home and tattle to her human that she was sneaking over to visit again.  I really like these neighbors.  Good dog people. 
    It has been one of those days when I have been so busy yet can not list a single accomplishment.  I suppose if I include half done things I could make a list.  Cleaned the house.  Nope..  not even an effort in that direction.   Shylo/Linus records together for Saturday.  yes.  Answered emails.  yes.   Researched heartworm treatment for collie breeds for a friend.  Came up empty so emailed the heartworm research organization.  Hopefully I will get a reply.  Of course the dogs got fed, Ash on schedule, poop scooped and fresh water all around, to the vet's for med refills which I forgot yesterday.  That's half a day right there. 
    My leg cramp is gone.  This morning I was real nervous about moving and it was warning me.  Now, late this afternoon, it is back to normal. Now if I could conquer the sneezing, watery-itchy eyes and runny nose, I'd be great.  The dogs knew it was Thursday, but just could not manage walking them. 
4/11/12:  I cried most of the night.  Full out body shaking.  Reality of all this just keeps growing.  When I think I really do know, I realize I don't.  I am not a good decision maker.  There are sayings like "plan for the future" and then sayings "live for today as you may not have any tomorrows".   And a whole lot of others that only compound confusion.  You have to plan, but you can't live your life on "maybes" or "what ifs".    This crap about God's plan... what is meant to be will be... is BS.   Don't get me wrong, I believe in a higher power, ruler of the universe, just not the entity that religions analyze and represent as fact. So anyway, I've been that road before and won't go there now.  Now I just have to soul search and do what is best for Carol and Loren and Zelda and all the rest of the dogs I have taken responsibility for.   I just don't know what that is. 
    Evening:  Total meltdown.  I woke up about 5 a.m. and when I went to move, I got a charlie horse in my calf.  I could not reach it without having a cramp start in my back.  Rubbing it with my other foot made it worse.  Can a charlie horse get worse?  Loren packed it in hot wet towels and I finally managed to get in a hot tub.  Getting in and out was a real challenge.  Finally about 5 p.m. I was able to put weight on that leg. 
     Jericho had good blood work and the vet could find nothing wrong.  We figure it was just an upset tummy from who knows what.  I am so careful what they get so know it was not food.  He has some meds to make his tummy feel better.  I was sure scared.  I will just be so glad when we are past the heartworm treatments and it is safe for him to go for walks and go to his forever home.  He is just such a love.  
     I am never spending so much as another dime at Wal-mart.  I'm sure it is not going to impact them one iota but it will keep me from wanting to drive over to Bentonville and open fire.  I counted.  There were 92 cars in the customer parking lot (employees park in a different section).  There were 5 check outs open.  One was the 20 items or less speedy.  Every single one had at least 5 customers in line.  Everyone but the speedy had carts loaded to the top.  There were 12 in my line.  There were other customers (at least 6 with carts full) debating which line to get in.  I left my cart in line and went to the service desk.  It did no good.  I looked for a manager.  that was a waste. When I returned, the line had not progressed.  After about 20 minutes, I finally got to where it was my turn.  I did not unload my cart.  I pushed it past.  Turned to the clerk and said "my ice cream melted while I had to wait in line so you call someone to put this melted mess back!"  and I walked out.  I really wanted a cheering section.  Or to organize a 'walk out', but the last person who did that (on opening day) was banned from the store forever.  On second thought, would that have been so bad?   So I am ice creamless.  They only had 3 vanilla and I had all 3.  Otherwise I would have just held my ground while they found someone to go get me replacements that were not melted.  I would have explained to the people in line behind me, but I would not have apologized.  That would be the stores place to do that... Never happen.   The other 2 grocery stores do not carry Hagen Dauz and it is the only kind I can safely eat.  Got to dig in the cabinets and find the ice cream maker. 
     I just took a new supplement.  It is for humans but got it for Julia for her leg because she is still carrying it.  Decided I better try something.  Now my tummy is a queezy.  Can't blame it on the phantom ice cream.  Ash got his last meal of the day and I'm off to bed... or maybe another hot bath first. 
4/10/12:  Hopefully my computer won't crash again.  It went down yesterday morning about 3:30 a.m. when I was writing here.  Loren spent the entire day on it yesterday and salvaged most.  It was one of my hard drives but luckily everything is backed up on 2 others.  Email is always the big concern.  Something is still wrong somewhere though.  I am getting error messages when I log into various sites saying my browser is not compatible.  Something is not translating correctly.
     It has been a very emotional few days.  My nerves are shot.  One of my stress points did get resolved.  Just a misunderstanding.  I was sure that's what it would turn out to be.  The other did not.  If an adopter changes their mind, just be honest.  Don't let me find out later they adopted another dog after they said they were not in a position to adopt any.  Rescues are a tight community and eventually we learn about these things.
    I had a call this evening about Zelda.  Wonderful people who I adopted to before... but the reality of Zelda leaving and going to southern Texas came crashing in on me.  I know she is unhappy here with so many female dogs.  I know I have to cut my numbers.  I know she would have a wonderful home.  It is just getting past the reality of what has to be and what is happening in my life right now.  It could be so much worse.  I know that because I am trying to help a single lady with major medical problems who is on the verge of homelessness and having to find a safe place to take her much loved dog.  She is only in her late 20's.  I still have a roof over my head and can still keep quite a few dogs, for a time, plus I've lived a good life.  This poor woman is still so young.  Life can really suck. 
     I'm real worried about one of the dogs.  I'll most likely be on the floor with him all night.  Straight into the vet in the morning. 
     Betty is going with me on Thursday to go see the Pyr pup.  That way if it's not a Pyr, I won't feel stuck.  If it is a Pyr, a friend has a home for it.  And I am also looking at a 10 week old GSD pup.  If it is a GSD, then I'll bring it home.  That will be an easy one to place.  If it is not, then I will have to walk away from it too.   
4/9/12:  Another night of little sleep.  I'm carrying a roll of paper towels around with me, folding some on top of my pillow.  I can manage the runny nose and somewhat the itchy eyes.  It's the swollen glands in my throat that takes me down.  And when I am tired and miserable and can't sleep, I read the news.  I should know better.  The stupidity and evilness in the world just makes me more frustrated and miserable. 
     I should not be picking up that puppy today.  Several things came to light last night that has set me back.  A double blow like multiple kicks in the stomach.  I'll call her this morning and let her know I need to wait a week until I see if things will sort themselves out.  I can't take on a puppy unless I know for sure it has a place to go right away.  Hell if I do and hell if I don't. 
     Goofy was so goofy last night.  He has started blocking me when I try to go to bed.  When I can't sleep, I usually sit on the floor and brush someone.  Usually him, as he is the most willing.  When I finally got past him, after a lot of petting and hugging and I went into my room, he followed, realized I was crawling in bed and then went outside to his 'domain' in the garage.  I know he likes it out there, but I always feel so bad that he is not inside with me.  He just does not like laying down in the bedroom, either one.  He's either on his mattress in the living room or family room or behind the loveseat.  Unless he's in the garage.   Fez, on the other hand is always right in the way, day or night.  He's not going to miss a thing. 
4/8/12: Happy Easter.  Holidays are 'just another day' anymore.  You don't boil, color and hide Easter eggs for a family of dogs, even ones that might bounce from over-boiling.   I do need to bring up Fez's new squeaky toys.  I got 3 really cute ones at a yard sale for 50 cents each and I opened them up and inserted at least 4 squeakers in each.  I think he will like the turtle best but he will probably prove me totally wrong. 
     I'm trying to stay off the Benadryl but carrying paper towels around.  Kleenex is no match for my nose.  I could wipe out a box in an hour.  If it's just the runny nose, I am ok.  It's when my throat glands swell and my eyes itch that I have to give in to taking a pill.  The rain yesterday and last night helped.   But I still am awake at 3 a.m. 
     Dogs are quiet.  I did have to move Sahara from in front of the doggie door.  Just a light mist so Sissy is unaware.  I tried to get her in but she just raised up, looked at me and laid back down.  Her coat is so thick it could be pouring and if her head was covered, she would not even know she was getting wet. 
   Sneezing has started.  Think I better grab a paper towel and go back to bed until sun up..
4/7/12:  Shylo has a new name.  Linus.  Very appropriate since he has this thing about dragging blankets out with him.  When I called him that today, he looked around as if to see who I was talking to.  He'll catch on. 
     We could not find anyone to bush hog so Loren did it.  I told him not to, but he did it without telling me.  With the rain every few days it hardly has time to dry enough to get done and we were losing sight of the dogs in the growth.  Glad it got done, but sure wish we can find someone instead of Loren doing it.  That is just too much.  Person is suppose to finish weed eating Monday but I need to go to Harrison and meet a gal with a Pyr pup.   It will be fostered where Linus is being adopted.
 Candy will get her when we meet Saturday for her to get Linus.  I hope I can get her in to be spayed.  Not sure what it will cost from another vet, but they are pretty booked here.  I temporarily named her Gypsy.  I've not seen her yet.  I've had several people step forward to foster so Ozark Dogs can continue to operate.  But they all want young Pyrs. 
     I hope someone comes forward for Penny and Julia.  They are my biggest problem.  Parker is getting there.  So is Zelda but they need in homes with only one other dog (of the opposite sex) and acreage.  They both like to be outside on patrol when the weather is good.   They get along fine with each other.  Going together would be great.   Just too many old cranky dogs in the house.  
     Rained this afternoon.   Parker knew ahead of time. Both bedroom doors were closed because Loren had went to bed after bush hogging and mine is usually closed anyway.  Poor guy.  I found him huddling in the laundry room when I went to get their food ready.  
    A fight broke out this evening between nine of them.  No one got hurt but trying to separate over 1000 pounds of dogs by myself is near impossible.  Don't know what triggered it.  Started in the kitchen and then moved outside on the deck.   They were all at each other.   Even Goofy went after Fez which is totally out of character.  And Sahara was in the middle only not sure if she was just trying to escape.  She is just not one to fight at all.  She will posture a bit at Zelda just to not be pushed around, but she will back down very quickly.  Julia was trying to escape but not being allowed out of the middle.  I got Zelda in my bedroom and Chipi over to Bears side and then I managed to settle everyone down.  Fez either had a mouth full of hair or had his tongue bit.  He was slapping at it after all broke up.  He is not a fighter either.   I have to protect him and escort him around Parker and Zelda.  No way is he going to get in their way.  Poor Guy. 
    I got sidetracked this evening.  I put eggs on to boil.  The phone rang.  I made a call.  Then phone rang again.  Two hours later I went in the kitchen.  A miracle that there was still water in the pan.  I was advised to toss them.  They might have made great bouncing ball toys for the dogs once peeled.  I'll never know.  Next time I turn on a burner I'll set the timer.  I always do for the oven, but now I better do it for anything anywhere that could burn down the house. 
    I hope I sleep tonight.  Last night I took 2 Alleve and one Benadryl.  I thought that was harmless.  They did not agree with each other.  I was so sick all night.  So it's a decision.  Back ache or allergies keeping me awake.  It really is a no win situation. 
4/5/12:  Dogs all got walked.  Betty and her granddaughter came again.  Em walked Fez, Sissy and Julia this time.  Tuesday it was Goofy instead of Fez.  They are all so good on leash (except Penny and Sweetness, but both are improving).
      Shylo and Jericho just walked to the shop.  Shylo sure wants to get out and run and play.  One more week and he will have his new family and get lots of love and exercise.  It has been very hard to not let him up to play with everyone but I have to consider Jericho also.  Jericho has another 6 weeks of calm to endure and then it will still be a careful time until all the heartworms have dissolved out of his system.   Hate this drastic treatment.  I still have not heard if he will be a candidate for knee replacement.  He really struggles and I just want to carry him or put him in the house on wheels.  But all I can do is sit on the ground and rub his belly when I go to feed and he rolls over for the attention.  He could easily become way too special to me but he has a wonderful lady waiting for him where he will be number one. 
     While they were in the shop Shylo resumed his blanket thievery.  He looks to see if I'm watching before he grabs one and drags it outside through the doggie door.  He is such a nut.
     Ash is really beginning to catch on fast to what I want.  Today was another big meal time improvement.  He actually waited until the food was set down and ate much more slowly.  I only fed 3 meals today.  I think he will be good with that.   He is really understanding that there will be food and he won't go hungry ever again.  And he continues to stay with his empty bowl until I tell him it's ok to leave it.  He is amazingly smart.    
     Weeds got pulled so hopefully a little less misery outside. 
     Ash is really barking tonight.  Keeping Shylo responding.  Just relays up the hill.  I'm sure Bear has chimed in but from this end of the house, I can't her him.  It's 9:30 and still waiting for the allergy pill to both kick in and knock me out.  It did earlier and I took a 2 hour nap so that is part of the problem.  Well, it is getting annoying.  I'm use to Bear.  Sort of like the clock the chimes and dongs.  You adjust and sleep right through it.  Pretty much Bears bark.  But Ash has a different rhythm and tone so very hard to ignore.
4/4/12:  Ash is slowing down eating so much.  Almost like a normal dog.  I'm gong to cut him back to 3 meals a day and see how that goes. 
     Betty and her granddaughter came yesterday to walk dogs.  Pre-teens are so delightful.  One she walked was Goofy and he outweighed her by twice.  They will be back tomorrow. 
    I have the weed guy coming and someone to bush hog.  Maybe my allergies will be a bit more controllable once the weeds are down.  I did get the DE on the ground in the 2 yards.  When I fed last night and this morning I did came out without any critters on me.  I know the stuff is totally safe, but Jericho was not acting himself.  Of course this week and next are the critical times of his heartworm treatment.  Then we start all over again on the 16th.  This is very stressful for me.  I worry so much. 
    I'm quite disappointed that Ash has not gotten any more applications.  I was concerned that some of the ones I got were brought about by sympathy.  Not that that is bad, but I want people to want the dog for itself and it's personality, not it's history.  I'm pretty much alone on this one as most people I've talked to disagree.   I'm drawn to a dog because of history or need, but then rescue is what I do.  Maybe there is a need to feel like we have done something not many others would do.  That is certainly a great way to be.  I need to do more soul searching when it comes to certain dogs and applicants. 
    Ash really is settling into being an easily trained dog.  The last few days at feeding time, I have not separated Penny into the side yard.   I make her 'sit' about 20 feet away.  I have taught Ash to stay by his bowl until I say it is ok.  I am amazed how quickly he learned to respond just to my finger pointing to his bowl.  This morning he started to head toward Penny and me and I just pointed and he retreated.  I did not even have to speak this time.  I just hope who ever is lucky enough to get to adopt him will continue as he is so ready to learn and please. 
    Evening: It sucks to be out of ice cream and no energy to go to the store and fight the Wal-mart crowd.  I need to dig through the cupboards and find the ice cream maker.  We have a really great one... somewhere.  Just takes table salt and ice cubes and 30 minutes of patience.  Actually less time then travel to town and back.
     Bear spent most of the day with me.  I rotated everyone onto his side except Sissy.  He loves being close to me.  Cleaned around him.  Later took him to the shop while I fixed stuff that needed fixing.  My favorite blouse lost 3 buttons so replaced them all.  Two underwear came un-sewed so sewed them back and have half a dozen bras with one broken wire so stole from 3 to fix 3.  When you get down to too few, you gotta fix.  I hate shopping and especially for clothes of any kind.  I gave up on socks as can't find anything normal.  Not sure what I/m going to do when the ones I like fall apart.  I have a very short, fat foot (just like the rest of me) and cotton just does not give enough.  Feel like the circulation in my foot is cut off.
     Sun is going down and the choir is gearing up.    I've only had 4 allergy pills today.  Number 5 is only a few minutes in the future.  Darn, I'm really craving ice cream.  A glass of chocolate milk will have to do.
4/3/12:  I probably need to go online and buy a gas mask or scuba tank and put a plastic bag over my head.  The actual Benadryl knocks ME out so I don't notice the allergies.  Nothing seem to actually knock out the allergies themselves.  I need to get into the pharmacy and see what really will help.  I don't even have to go outside to be affected.  And I have decided we have fleas.  Those microscopic 'ticks' must be fleas.  I just didn't remember that a flea would 'hang on'.  I thought they bit on the run.  Never had a flea problem here before, just bad tick years... and very bad allergy years.  Way too many of them. 
     I've got another one of those bad feelings about something that I don't know, but it's coming my way.  My ex-uncle died yesterday.  He was not on my mourning list.  But things seem to come in 3's and a lot of people in my heart are either old or sick or both.  My ex-mother-in-law is 98 and not expected to last much longer.  The third could be one of many or one that should not.  The way I feel right now, it could be me!
     Had someone from Work Force out yesterday to get the weeds down in the dogs areas.  Need to call another guy to cut up and move the trees that have fallen and to bush hog.  Then I will load up on allergy pills, wear a mask and go sprinkle DE as far as it will last. 
4/1/12:  Fell asleep this afternoon and now can't get to sleep tonight.  Living on allergy pills.
    Shylo likes to pull blankets out through the doggie door when he is in the shop.  His future adopter wrote we should name him Linus.  Thought that was cute.  He is a character.  He and Jericho love to go to the shop with me but then they go outside and there is just no shade.  I wish I could run the yards together but I'd have to pay someone to do it and then undo it in 2 months. 
     I am working on "wait" with Ash.  He is finally slowing down on his eating.  He still gets very excited but he is actually chewing now.  He has learned to 'sit' before I put his bowl down and now he is respecting my hand on his chest holding him back.  It's only for a second, but I want him to get use to the idea gradually.  We've made so much progress both mentally and physically.  He is such a great guy.  He's not jumping on me hardly at all any more.  He knows I will take time to pet him when he's done eating.  He use to block me and jump on me to keep me from leaving.  I still feed 4 times a day and probably will continue until he is less enthusiastic about the meal.  I really believe we are getting there.   I can't help but feel a little pride that I have accomplished this considering his first day here.
     I heard from Erin that took Sarge into her rescue.  He is on a home visit with an adopter.  It sounds like all is great.  They like to hike so that is perfect for Sarge. 
     I need to just take time to load up Penny and take her to the park where the senior citizens have lunch.  That is the only way she may get adopted.  She is a charmer but personalities don't come through on a web page.  She's 'just a mutt' like a million others so competition is tough.  Finding the time to be pro-active is hard.  Trip one way to town takes 20 minutes.  I suppose I could take Julia at the same time.   And a bunch of allergy pills before heading out the door.
    All the dogs are sure becoming clingy.  It's weird.  Zelda is the only one not coming for attention or pushing me around.  Sahara is getting more clingy by the day.  Chipi is just in my face.  I have a hard time with any demands for my attention.  Just come up and stand there and I will pet but pushing my hand and getting nose to nose when I'm laying on the sofa just bugs me.  I know she is insecure.  Living half the time on Bears side will  do that. 
3/31/12: I got a kick in the stomach last night.  Not literally but metaphorically.  The fantastic adopter I had for Ash "forgot" about him.  An indirect illness of a family member so now he has backed out.  Since he's not that caregiver, I don't quite understand. Oh well, things happen for a reason but this is a real whammy.  This is not the first time but it is still a shock and a heartbreak.  I just hate losing an adopter, but better before then after.  That means Zelda won't have her 300 acres to patrol either as she was going too.
     It is only 3:38 a.m.  I slept good despite flea bites.  These darn things are microscopic.  It is really going to be a bad year for humans as well as the dogs.  I'm going to have to get out the DE as can't put a chemical topical on several of them and really pointless on the others anyway.  You put poison in the dog so the tick will suck it out and replace it with it's own poison.  The tick dies and falls off after several days but the deed is done.  All it does is save picking them off, but the dog has been poisoned twice.  Skip the topical and pick.  Then only the tick is guilty of poisoning the dog and not us humans.   The DE should help without internal ill effects but I will have to watch for dry skin.  I need cedar oil.  For all the dogs spraying them every few days it will be expensive but the safest and most effective.  I'll be spraying me too.  Can't even go outside without pollen and ticks attacking me.  Inside is not much better since the dogs bring in both.  Jericho is my biggest concern since he is undergoing heartworm treatment and his coat is like cotton.  Picking through it is very hard and time consuming and he is out all the time.  I have got to find someone to weed eat and then I need to spread the DE in their yard.  I meant to call the job service yesterday and just forgot.  Now I can't get anyone until Monday.
     Goofy has sure been clingy lately.  I guess because I have been protecting him  from Parker.  It's just a low growl, but Goofy is so non-confrontational, he just stays away unless I step forward to protect him.  Then he herds me so I can't leave.   
      Julia is becoming a possessive pain.  Losing her home and coming back here has left her insecure.  The crying can get very annoying though.  I definitely see the early signs of separation anxiety.  I need to get on a forum and ask for a solution before it manifests itself into either destruction or a nervous breakdown.  Her or me.  Back to bed and hope the barking does not start.
3/30/12: Barely.  It's just after midnight and I can't get to sleep.  Sissy is outside and I'm worried about here.  She was curled up in a hole by the fence.  I finally got her to get up but she could barely make it.  It took so much effort, I just wanted to cry.  I can't help her because she hurts and she would bite me if I try to lift her.  She wandered out into the big yard.  I wanted her in on the bed with me.  I even had a hand full of dog cookies and that did not entice her.  She will be 10 years old Sunday.  She was 3 months when we got her.  I just wish she would come in even though the night is beautiful.
    Bear is barking and Shylo and Ash keep answering.  Here in the computer room I can hear all 3.  In my bedroom I can only hear Bear but he is so loud.  I keep hoping this last Benadryl will kick in.  They make me sleepy in the day when I need to stay awake, but no... they won't work that way after the sun goes down.  I think I'm on my 5th one since yesterday morning.  I actually dozed off in the dentist office waiting for my appointment.  Now I'm really tired but too miserable to sleep until the pill knocks me out.  It's going to have to because the barking is not going to quit.
    Betty came today and we got all the dogs walked.  I set on a bench with Jericho because he can't exercise at all with his heartworm treatment.  He sure wanted to go with Shylo when Betty took him.  I got their tarps off their fence so the breeze will blow through and they will be cooler.  Just left up one behind their beds in case it rains and a small one at the corner to deflect any major wind storm that comes around the house.   They were happy for all the openness.  That could be part of additional barking.  they can now have a great view of where the deer graze in the evening and morning and sleep at night.  As for Bear barking, he starts the minute I quit petting him and he gets off my bed and he does not stop until 4 a.m. when the choir begins.  They all serenade me for about 60 seconds and then they all go to sleep after a hard night of warding off critters.   All is quiet at the moment.... Good night... I hope.
    Evening:  Ash looks so pretty.  He got a bath today.  He did good for them.  He'll get his DHLPP shot when I go down to feed.  I didn't want to do it too soon near the rabies shot.  I'll get him weighed in next week and if they give the ok, he will get neutered and teeth cleaned.  Then he will be ready to go to his new home.  He has really bonded with me so the sooner the better. 
     The dogs have rested most of the day.  Preparing for a wild night, I'm sure.  I may camp out on the sofa in the family room tonight.  I have got to get some rest.  I will miss all the dogs that are moving on in the next month, but maybe it will be a little quieter.  Of course Bear is never leaving and he is the loudest and most persistent. 
     This morning Sissy came bounding in and jumped on the bed and raced around in circles and was so silly.  She must be enjoying the outside weather even if I am worried about her 'going down and not getting up'.  She sure had no trouble moving this morning.   One of those puppy moments old dogs get.
     Two Danes needing re-located got on their way today.  It's been in the works for several weeks.  Before Sarge left.  I sure wish I could find someone to adopt Julia and Penny.  Of course with Julia's leg and no way to know what is wrong with it, does create a big obstacle.   I'm just ready for a break from so many dogs.  Since I can't keep going alone, I just want to reach my personal pack limit.  This in the middle, this transition, is the hard part.  It's like when you are a kid and your tooth is loose.  You are always flicking it with your tongue.  You want it to come out so the tooth fairy will come, but pulling it is so painful.  So you just keep flicking it until finally it gives up and breaks loose.  Then there is that last little tiny piece of gum hanging on for dear life and you get that darn pain anyway.   I'm at the 'flicking stage' with the dogs.  I just hope my dog fairy is around when I get to the last one that needs to go.
3/29/12:  Goofy was barking on the deck.  All I did was open the door and within seconds my allergies kicked in.  Four Benadryl yesterday left me spacey and so tired.  This is going to be a really bad year.  It was last year too.  I had to cancel every time I made a dentist appointment.  Having your teeth cleaned while sneezing does not work.  I'm hoping I can get through tomorrow.  I'm going anyway even if it fails.
    The jury was out for 2 days on the chiropractor for me and Julia.  I think it's safe to say guilty.  Julia is worse and so am I.  I immediately sensed 'parlor tricks' but I'm always one to give a person the benefit of the doubt.  It is amazing I am not walked on more then I am.  My neck has less movement and hurts worse then ever.  No improvement between my shoulder blades where I hurt the worst. Julia did have off and on with the leg, carrying it most of the time, but there were moments when she was walking on it and running normally on it.  That was before.  In 2 days, there has been no good times for her.  I feel rotten about making things worse for her.  Best of intentions.  I guess I should have been first and waited before I took her.  Of course if it had helped me, then I would have felt bad making her wait another week.  Hell if I do and hell if I don't.
    I got 2 nice donations this week.  They seem huge to me and I am so grateful.  When I did the math, the local humane society spends more then the total amount in less then 2 hour 365 days a year.  Still boggles my mind.  They currently have 27 dogs and 19 cats and their monthly expenses are $40,217.  Yes, forty thousand two hundred seventeen a MONTH. And they don't even offer a low cost spay/neuter program to the public.
    Just looking through the local lost and found pets.  Amazing how people want the other person to do the work, be it owner or finder.  I just found 3 listed as lost which match 3 listed as found within a day or 2.  Wonder if they connected?  Guess that will be my mission today.  Calling the 'lost' and passing on the 'found'.  I know some people just don't have a clue how to go about finding their pet or finding an owner.  One found said 'Has (vet) rabies tag'.  All they need to do is call the vet, give them the tag number and they will give the finder the contact info for the owner.  Also, because your dog went missing from one place and there is a similar (some people look at a hound and see a lab) dog 50 miles away, don't dismiss it.  Many people see a dog on the road and pick it up thinking it a stray.  Then it runs off and someone down the road picks it up thinking it is local.  Dogs can end up hundreds of miles away in just a day.  We see stories of dogs traveling hundreds of miles to find their owner but it never sinks in, this could be the dog you found or the dog you lost.  And so few people will take a stray in to have it scanned for a chip.  How do we educate people about this???  Any ideas? 
3/27/12: The weeds are in full bloom along with my allergies.  I don't know how I will get through my dentist appointment on Friday.  Loren suggested I wear one of this masks from the house to the car.  I may have to.  We have got to find someone cheap to spray weeds and get all the yards in shape.  Loren could do it last year, but not going to happen again.  Such changes and adjustments come with illness.  And so many new expenses that have nothing to do with insurance coverages.   It's like the hourglass has been laying on it's side for several years and now it is upright and we are just watching the sand flow to the bottom, unable to turn it over when the top is empty.  When the 4 dogs that have adopters are able to go, it will be a big burden lifted but Penny has got to find a place.  I can manage Julia, Parker, Sweetness and Chipi but having them in forever homes would really help too.  I have got to make a way through this and hang on to my own health and sanity
    I feel terrible I missed Ash's mid day meal.  Being in West Plains and then barely back in time to get Loren to the doctor, I just could not manage.  He will only get 3 meals today.  I would be ok with 4 but just 3 makes me feel guilty.  I can't just add more food as he still inhales.  I'm afraid to take a Benadryl for the allergies or I will fall asleep and he won't get his 'good night' meal. 
     No answer at Nancy's.  I hope she got out of the hospital.  I thought she was going home at noon.  I'm sure Bob took care of Mitsy, but I feel bad on that too as I'm close.  Well, live close, but today, don't know how I would have squeezed it in. 
     Don't know how I will explain to the dogs that walking them is going to bring on my allergies worse then ever.  Not that they would probably care.  They are a bit confused and annoyed at all the sneezing.  I am a very loud sneezer.  Sahara actually ran out of the house awhile ago when I had a bunch of repetitions.  I just startled Chipi awake with one.  Poor thing.  She was snoring.  Bet Julia will be my only bed partner tonight. 
3/26/12:  My friend/volunteer/neighbor fell this morning and is in the hospital.  She should be able to come home tomorrow.  Her poor little dog sure didn't want me to leave when I took it out to potty. 
     Penny, Shylo and Ash got cat tested today and they all passed.  Ash was interested to make friends.  Shylo was oblivious to it after a few sniffs.  Penny didn't care as long as it was her getting the attention.  I've had more calls on Ash but I am very happy where he will be going. 
    Allergies have knocked me again.  There is obviously something in the front yard that hates me.  I wish I knew so I could hate it back and uproot it and send it to the burn pile.  Took a Benadryl a half hour ago and am fighting to stay awake.   Benadryl not only dries up your sinuses, it dries up your brain.   I have spaghetti sauce on simmering and I really want it to simmer at least 2 hours but that may be cut short.  It has only been on 30 minutes.   Zelda skipped breakfast and lunch.  I think she is hungry but holding out for spaghetti.  It is her favorite.  I don't give her the noodles, just the meat sauce.  No one gets wheat in any form.
    It was down right hot today.  Dogs agreed as spent most of the day inside.  With the warm weather comes the need to poop scoop twice a day.  This is not fun.  This is exhausting.   Feeding the outside dogs has become exhausting.  Everything has become exhausting.  When one is emotionally drained, it also makes them physically drained.  Tomorrow I go to West Plains with Julia for acupuncture and me for a chiropractor treatment.  Not sure if Loren will come along or not.  They will do acupuncture on him too so I really hope he doe feel up to the trip.  He set the GPS so I will have plenty of help getting lost.  Around here, about 50 % of the time, the thing does not take you where you programmed it to go.   But the "home" always works and that's what matters when you are as directionally challenged as I am.  I could easily end up in St. Louis before I realized I was headed north instead of south. 
3/24/12:  Loren is feeling a little bit better today.  He did get up to eat a few bites of hot cereal this morning and half a sandwich late afternoon. 
     Old habits are hard to break.   Dogs needing help come across and my first instinct, "It should get along with.... I can put it...."   Slow endings are so hard.  You just want to get things settled and move onto the next beginning.  I'm a planner.  An organizer.  But crazy as it is, it's for others.  I don't like unknowns and I don't leave loose ends if I can help it.  Some might call it micro managing.   But these dogs need to have the best homes possible and I just want to put the right person with each dog, even if the dog is not in my care.   I could place hundreds of dogs a year just like a Humane Society if I didn't care so much.  Quality, not quantity. 
     The weather was so gorgeous today.  I'm going to try to get some dog walking in before I feed them dinner.
3/23/12:  Loren had a bad evening and the doctor does not have an answering service.  Anyway, he wouldn't go to emergency and I don't blame him.  I made him a bath and the jets helped.  The dogs are concerned but they don't realize they are in the way rather then giving comfort.   When 2' wide Fez or Goofy stand in a hallway, you can't exactly walk around them.  
     Sissy, Julia and Sweetness took over my bed.  I couldn't move under the covers with them on top.  Felt like a mummy.  Finally someone barks an 'alert' so Sweetness got down and I was able to wiggle an escape.  I drank too much orange juice before going to bed so escape was urgent.  When I went back, they had shifted positions and laying parallel with the top of the bed and no access to covers was my only option.  Well, I guess I could have made one or both move but they looked so peaceful, sound asleep, Sissy snoring.  Anyway, I tried that briefly and got a Julia nose on my leg.  The nose wasn't so bad, but it had been proceeded by the faint touch of whiskers.  Felt like something creepy crawly that I almost slapped at before the nose finally touched. 
    Evening:  Aside from the time at the doctors office, Loren has been in bed all day.  I'm so tired.  Going to Wal-Mart in the middle of the day is a nightmare.  Just to drop off the prescription, I was in line about 20 minutes.  Went to a thrift store and found a vacuum with a bag for $15.  It seems to work fine but needs a major cleaning.  I left it down in the shop and will blow it all out with the air compressor.  Back to Wal-Mart to pick up the prescription.  A 10 minute wait in line.  Of course the walk from the nearest parking spot also added a good 3 minutes x 4.  Loren wanted some tuna salad stuff they have in the deli, but the check out lines were a good 15 minute wait.  It was almost 1:30 before I got home.  The day was shot.  Ash's meals were one missed and one late.  I'll just have to stay up longer tonight to fit the missed one in.  We are doing too good to let it slide. 
     I had high hopes in an email of someone offering to volunteer to help with the dogs.  I answered but just like everyone else, she vanished. 
     Feeding time.  It's going to rain so need to get it done.  
     I'm back... Now to top things off, Shylo has a big infection on his neck behind his ear.  He and Jericho never fight, at least not that I have seen.  I don't know of anything sharp anywhere they go.  It looks like a cut.  Another trip down to give him Cephalexin and put Neosporin on it.  I have got to find time to get him into the vet next week and have it looked at.  I'd shoot for tomorrow but they are only open half a day and it is always absolute chaos on Saturdays.  I don't know if Loren can be alone.  A guy coming to look at Ash and Julia or maybe Parker and Zelda on Sunday.   Monday at 11 is cat test.  Tuesday we will be in West Plains until 2 (Julia will get acupuncture Loren too if he is up to going, and I'll get a chiropractor treatment which I am really looking forward to).  Then home just in time for Lorens doctor appointment.  Wednesday I have someone coming all morning.  Thursday at 1:00 I have a dentist apt.  
     If I didn't have dogs depending on me, I'd be going to bed and covering up my head and probably have a good cry.  Afraid if the tears start, they won't stop.
3/22/11:  With the end of the rain came the beginning of the barking.  Now that I am totally awake (3 a.m.) they have all went to sleep, including Bear.  I just got it!!!  When I'm in bed, they think they need to ward off intruders.  But when I'm up, they assume it's my job and they can sleep.  How stupid of me not to have figured that out years ago.  That is why they sleep most of the day.  I'm awake to protect them and vis-versa. All this time I just thought of them as inconsiderate.  Shame on me.  There is a donut left from yesterday.  I could just start my day early... Nah, I think I'll go back to bed and hope they don't notice I went off duty.
3/21/12:  One of those days.  Lets be positive.  No trees fell on the house or fence.  The roof didn't leak.  The basement didn't flood.  The dogs didn't float away.  The carports didn't blow away (although the wind has tried really hard).  The dog house didn't slip down the hill.  Parker didn't step on Loren when he climbed in bed with him.  Julia's pee on the rug didn't run too much onto the floor.   I didn't run out of towels drying Fez as he enjoyed laying in the rain, coming in, getting dried off, going out to lay in the rain, coming in, get the idea.  I didn't run out of gas although pumping it took over 10 minutes and $75.  (How does an 18 gal. tank take 20 gal. when the gage read 1/8 of a tank going in?)   I got out of the grocery store for under $20.  (a pound of grapes, 5 bananas, a tomato, an onion,  2 keiser rolls and 1 3/4 pounds of hamburger).  Muddy paw prints will wash.  Muddy shoes will wash.  The washer successfully completed 5 loads.  The dryer successfully completed 5 loads.  The electricity didn't go off.  My computer didn't crash.
3/20/12: Julia had been so rambunctious lately that when we walked the dogs this morning, we took her with Ash and Penny.  Ash fell in love (or maybe in lust).  Julia finally put him in his place.  I left her down there with them until dinner time.  I think she will begin to understand when I say "stop it" I mean it. 
    Nancy and Betty just walked Jericho and Shylo to the front yard.  Jericho can't have any exercise because of the heartworm treatment so Betty sat on the bench with him and Shylo got to do a walk about around the yard.  Not much, but enough so they didn't feel left out.  The Prednisone has really sparked Jericho's appetite.  I use to just set the bowls down and there would still be food in them next meal.  Now Jericho eats his and run Shylo off so he can finish off his.  So Now I site down there until Shylo is finished.  Jericho is a good weight considering his leg problem so I sure don't want him gaining weight unnecessarily. 
     Storm expected tonight.  Parker has not come for his thunder shirt yet so I guess it is still a ways out.  Sky sure looks like it will let loose any minute, though.  Hope it holds off for at leas another hour as Ash still has one more meal to get.  OOPS.  Just heard the first thunder roll.  Better find Parker.
3/19/12: Sarge did well last night.  He slept next to the rescue gals bed.  She loves him already.
      Took Ash in for a weigh in.  66 pounds!!!  I put him on the scale and re-set it 2 more times.  I could not believe he had gained 22 pounds in 13 days.  He still needs another 25 to 30.  I am going to reduce the amount, but will still feed 5 times a day.  He is actually starting to chew some.  It has been just inhale.  He was negative across the board on heartworm, Lyme and Ehrlicia.  That was amazing.   Need to wait 2 to 3 more weeks before getting neutered. 
     Jericho is doing good.  I'm watching him closely from his heartworm treatment.  One thing I noticed, it sure increased his appetite.  He ran Shylo off from his bowl and finished off his food this evening so I had to take more and stand guard.  Then, of course, Shylo just wanted attention and not to eat.  Jericho does not need to gain weight, especially with the bad knee.   Shylo is looking good at 86 pounds.  Seems he was around 63 when I got him.  Not sure, but know he is catching up to where he should be. 
     Marianne is bringing over a cat next week to cat test Shylo and Ash.  I don't think either will be the slightest bit interested.  Both will just want Marianne to pet them.
     I slept so good last night.  It would be wonderful if I could get 2 in a row.  Might rain, which will help keep them quiet, but if there is thunder, then I'll be up comforting Parker. 
3/18/12: Sarge arrived safely.  Not heard how he is doing.  Hopefully some word in the morning.  This week will be another busy one.  Hopefully I can find all my notes and get everything on the calendar.  I know I have several things scheduled but mixed up on days and which is this week ad which is next.  Stress can really mess up your brain.  I'm not sure if Ash got 5 meals or 6 today.  If I fed too many he is sure not telling.  He is looking really good comparatively speaking, so it's time to start slowing him down.  Not sure how I will do that.  Maybe with a few treats at first rather then splitting meals.  Down on all 4's holding his food bowl down is rough on this old body.  I probably need to do a search for ideas. 
    I brought Shylo and Jericho to the shop but the goofballs went and laid outside in the sun.  I was on the floor ready to give attention and no one to give it to.   After and hour I gave up and put them back in their yard.  They needed shade and there isn't any in the shop yard.  I still want to use the spare kennel panels and run the 2 yards together for Jericho.  He is going to be here until mid May so it would really make it easier on me and on him. 
   I never got back to bed this morning.  Been up since 3 a.m.  It's now 9:30 p.m.  I should be tired enough that the barking will just fade from my tired, disoriented brain.  ... Oh almost forgot...  I went in to lay down for a few minutes with Loren earlier and Parker got on the bed ahead of me!  He is getting just way too bossy.  First he jumped over Fez so Fez could not get near Loren.  Then he jumped back over him to block Sweetness from getting near him.  Then he ran off Julia.  Then he tried to run me off.  It took me a few seconds to realize what had just happened.   We had a discussion and he got down.  Tomorrow I'm going to have to stick close to him and run interference before his head gets any bigger. 
3/17/12: Transport is in place.  I am so torn.  It's 11 p.m. and I just came back up from the shop.  Couldn't get to sleep so took Sarge some treats and fed him a little more dinner.  He won't get to eat in the morning so didn't want him real hungry.  I cannot believe I am so emotional about him leaving.  I have wanted him gone so many times.  Now I am wondering why.  It was just a few days ago when he got away from me and traveled around the area for an hour or more before coming home.  I was so eager for him to go.  Now he looks at me with such love and trust.  I keep seeing Frank in his eyes.  I keep seeing Frank in his challenges.  But if I still had all the dogs I was this emotional over going, I'd have at least 50 or 60.  If I knew who Sarge was going to, I'd feel better.  I know who the rescue is, but not the foster.  I think that is a major issue.  I keep having flash backs of Irene and how big a mistake I made.  But then I think of several others that I wanted to go back and get only to find out I had indeed made a good choice.   I wonder how people who work in an animal kill shelter do it.  Or hospice, knowing the people they care for are suffering.  Then they are gone.  Or a childrens cancer ward.  Or a poverty stricken country where people are starving.  I read somewhere that Mother Teresa was often mad at God.  Guess I'm in good company.  If people were kind and caring all the time, half the troubles of the world would not be.  Sarge never would have been dumped in a kill shelter.  Neither would the millions of others every year who are not as lucky.  And I agonize on how many will die if no one comes to take my place. 
    Tomorrow is only the beginning of the end.  The only good part right now is the two wonderful families waiting to take Shylo and Jericho home.  I won't feel bad about them leaving because they will know more love there then I can show them here.
3/16/12: Sarge will be leaving Sunday to a foster home which may become an adoptive home.  He has been here 11 1/2 months!  What a bag of mixed emotion.  I grew to love him.  I know it has to be.  Part of me is relieved because he has been a challenge, but the other part is really going to miss him.  It is so hard when it is an old dog that came with separation anxiety so bad, he destroyed 8 or so kennel panels and escaped the yard to find me over and over.  This was love, not a bad dog.  And I never thought otherwise.  I'll be terrified until he reaches his final destination and the months pass until he settles in.  I just have no choice.  I'm thinking 'hard' on Sarge.  What am I going to feel when it's Parker and Zelda and Sweetness and Chipi and Fez that have to go.  Sweetness has been here 7 years.  Zelda 6.  Chipi 4.  Parker 2 1/2.   The saying "careful what you wish for" keeps pounding in my head.  Sometimes the way we get what we think we want is so traumatic and so drastic, it destroys the desire for the dream.    Lesson:  Be content.  Make who you are, where you are and what you do be the dream.
3/15/12:  I don't want to be here.  The only nice people are from somewhere else.  I am so sick of the Bakers and the Walkers and the rest of the 'good ol' boys' who will never suffer consequences of their actions; at least not by local law.  I can't even take the dogs for a walk without one of them trying to see how fast they can make me and the dogs jump into the ditch.  This particular evening it was the ones down the road who have a 10 x 10 pen with a small wood dog house way away from the house/barn.  It gets grown up 2' high with weeds and then they cut them down only to grow back up.  It sets so far back on the property now that I can no longer see the dog.  The dog use to lay on the roof of the dog house.  I have not seen it in months but it is obviously still out there.  A shade tree only offers shade a few hours and not much since its on the south side.  If it was not so far off the road and if they didn't live in a pole barn shop building with a dozen vehicles in the yard, I would sneak over and steal the poor dog.  Around here, I'd be a trespasser and they could kill me with no ramifications.  Anyway that was my last walk of the night, simply for that reason.  I'm not quite ready to either be creamed by a truck or in jail for shooting the driver.
    On my earlier walk, one of my neighbors stopped to talk.  I rarely go down the road south of my house.  There is these jerks who for years have been 'trading in' dogs.  When they first moved in, they got 2 yellow lab puppies.  Those pups never had any attention.  When they were about 6 months old, the people decided they were stupid because they wouldn't mind so they got rid of them and brought home 2 more yellow lab pups.  This happened at least 3 times (4 pair of dogs) that I know for certain.  Once I saw the woman kicking one of the pups.  I stood on the road and yelled a tirade at her.  I was furious.  Anyway, it has been a long time, maybe a year since I've been down that way.  The neighbor tells me they have 2 "young" yellow labs in the pen and a dog tied 24/7 to a tree.  It was out tied to the tree with no water and no shelter when it was pouring rain Sunday.  It is still tied to the tree and no water and no shelter from this heat.  Why do people do this???  They have 2 children which I know are abused and neglected.  I witnessed it when they first moved in.   The one boy is bigger then his parents now so that may have ceased.  The other boy, only 1 year younger is literally half the older boys size.  Makes you wonder.   So anyway, I'm angry at stupid, hateful, hurtful people.  Being unable to change things is very frustrating. 
3/14/12: 3 a.m.  Not the dogs.  They are being good.  It just got so warm I woke up sweating.  Not quite ready to turn on the AC, but did turn on all the ceiling fans.  I am so far behind getting things done.  Three applications for Ash and not even had time to really read them thoroughly.  I would now, but that would mean turning on a light which would get dogs to barking.  Monitor light is just not adequate for these tired eyes.  I did get apology for delay emails off to them.  It just seems like everything takes me so long to get done.  Slow motion.  Jericho goes in for heartworm treatment in 5 hours.  I'm not so much nervous about the medical aspect as I am about him just having to be back at the vet.  I know he is so confused after spending a month there.  He must think each time he goes he is 'being returned'.  Just tears at my heart. 
    Sarge and 2 other dogs I am helping have a good rescue taking them.  They use foster homes.  So far they have checked out.  Will call their vets sometime today.  Moving them to a rescue is the same as moving them to an adopter.  I want to be sure I am placing them in good hands.  after the Colorado mess and Irene being pawned off on the first people who handed over money... well, I learned my lesson.  Be even more diligent.  I really will miss Sarge, but I just need to have a manageable number as quickly as possible.  He will have so much better chance of finding a forever home also. 
    Well, dogs are barking.  They must be looking for me. 
     Daylight... almost:  I went back to bed.  In the process I finally, after off and on trying for a year, got Chipi to get on the bed.  I usually hang my arm over the edge and pet her.  She has to stand up or I can't reach her.  I always feel bad about that.  I got on 'all 4s' and showed her how to get on the bench and then onto the bed.  I'm sure she was smart enough to know, but she just wanted to see how serious I was and how stupid I could look.  She curled up, head on the pillow and nose to nose.  I didn't mind so much the pesty nose under my hand or chin wanting me to continue to pet her, but when she wiped her nose on my cheek, that was a bit much.  Tongue kisses all over the face, I can handle, but nose wiping is out. 
   She was off the bed when I woke up.  Luckily I have night lights every where.  It is not unusual to get up to pee, poop or puke on the floor because somebody was afraid to pass the guarding 3.  I even had armadillo parts through out the house on 2 separate occasions.  There was a terd (excuse the term, but it was not a pile of poop as usual) on the floor.  Chipi grabbed it up.  UCK!  Sweetness is my poop eater, not Chipi!  I made her drop it which meant literally prying her mouth open.  One, I did not have my glasses on and two, night lights help with shadows of obstacles but not enough for identification.  Sweetness was heading for it, but I ran her off.  Went in the bathroom and got tissue to pick it up.  It 'felt' wrong.  I was going to flush it, but something told me to turn on the light.   I was holding a still warm dead mouse!  So good morning readers.  And how did your day start?
  Evening:  The day continued to be one of  unwanted excitement.  I knew it would be hard to get Jericho out of the yard to go to the vet without Shylo getting out.  I was right.  Beyond hard.  Luckily he didn't take off, just ran around the front yard in circles and visited all the other dogs just to say 'hi'.  I think Zelda and Parker would have let him in.  I know the others would have.  They like everybody, canine or human.  Anyway, when I opened to car door and got Jericho in, Shylo hopped in also.  Jericho weighed in at 138 pounds and Shylo at 86 so I had quite a full back seat.  Two heads pushed between Loren's and mine helping navigate.  Shylo was going to the vet anyway.  I just had not planned to take them together.  Then come afternoon, I almost forgot to pick him up.  Jericho is spending the night much to the dismay of Shylo.  If it were a long term thing, I would have just put him in the house and let him join the pack.  But it's not and Jericho will need his buddy in order to stay calm. 
     Sarge has a rescue taking him, but I have to get him to KC.  ( There was a plan but...) Anyway, I can't do it because I have to feed Ash every 2 to 3 hours.  Loren could never manage it.  Even if I moved Penny.  You got to sit on the ground and hang onto Ash's bowl for dear life.  He eats with such force, it would go into orbit.  Then he shows his appreciation by not letting me get up and showering me with kisses.  If Loren felt good, that would be fine with him, but not under the circumstances.  I sent out a transport help request but I only know 4 people that are in route.  Two in Springfield and 2 in KC.  My main contacts are St. Louis or Little Rock.  If it was a Pyr instead of Sarge, I'd have more options.  In the SUV it would be over $200 for gas for the trip.  People just don't have a clue what is involved in being a rescue.  Quitting is bitter sweet... but also impossible.
3/13/12:  Almost to the point of hot today, but Nancy said the weather said rain the rest of the week.  UGH! 
    Nancy and Betty walked Ash and Penny while I walked Jericho and Shylo.  They said Ash did great on leash but was obviously not something he had much experience at.  I had one of the dog collars around my neck when I met them coming back and Ash jumped back.  He would not come near me until I took it off.  Then he jumped up and was giving me kisses.  I sure don't know what triggered his reaction. 
     The 3 of us walked seven together this morning.  It was quite a sight to the passing cars.  Everyone got walked but Sarge.  He just wears me out and I feel so bad.  But he gets a lot of personal time with me since we are both in the shop.  Luckily he didn't open the ice chest again but the poop is still massive.  Not sure how much he ate before he stopped, but it was a bunch. 
     Loren has 3 good hours in the morning and that is it.  I swear just going to the hospital makes a person worse.  They made him drink a bunch of stuff before the scan and it made him sick.  He is still sick and nauseous from it.  Has barley eaten since.  He's taking a nap which will probably last right on through until tomorrow.  I just got back from grocery shopping and tried to pick up light food he would want to eat.  I have got to get Penny and Sarge gone somewhere.  The 3 that can't go yet will be going in April so that is not a worry.  Everything else is, though.

3/12/12/:  It was a good idea.  Fool proof.  Easy.  Running back and forth to the house to get Ash’s food was crazy so bring down the partial bag to the shop.  Any place out of Sarge’s reach was also out of mine, so I had to come up with someplace safe.  There is this big family size ice chest.  What better place to store the dog food.  Lid snaps down and it’s too big to be turned over.  Yah, right!  I went down this morning and Sarge had no interest in breakfast.  That was my first clue.  My second was the closed ice chest up side down.  My third was when I turned it over, expecting to hear kibble rattling inside.  Key word: expecting.  Empty.  The bag was across the room and in a total state of destruction.  Fortunately Sarge had quit eating when he got full.  He didn’t eat dinner tonight either.   He had a really bad case of the farts and way too much poop in the yard.  I bet he has a tummy ache too.
     After that incident was discovered, I came back up to cleaning up 4 piles of puke.  My first reaction was Sweetness, but she was on the other side with Chipi and Bear.   It was barely digested and way more then one dog had eaten.  I really had no intention of inspecting it, but I did determine it was the Diamond and not Taste of the Wild.  That ruled out Fez and Zelda.  There was no sign of Honest Kitchen, so that ruled out Parker and Sissy.  Goofy had barely touched his food.  That left Julia, Sahara.   Not sure what to think, I called Diamond.  No other reports.  I just started a new batch yesterday with the same codes but much different then the previous load I bought.  Obviously the person I talked to was not in Meta, MO. but in some big city office as she just didn’t ‘get it’ about driving over the border to Gainesville (MO) to meet the distributor.  She even asked “Florida?”  DUH!  I told her I was in Arkansas.  Geography was obviously not her forte’.
     Most of the day was spent at the hospital.  Loren had a break for an hour for some stuff to run through his system so we came home and Ash got his meal on time.  His afternoon one was late, though as we didn’t get home until after 3:00.   
    I put together an urgent list for Green Forest and got it sent off.  Then an urgent list for 6 other dogs.  Three mine and three for someone else.  I did manage to get the yards poop scooped and water all changed.  It’s 10 p.m. and my stomach is rolling.  I feel like I am coming down with something.  Probably ulcers and exhaustion.  I know as soon as I hit the bed the barking will start. 

3/11/12:  Why is it that yesterday it was only 6:55 p.m. right now but yet it feels like the clock went back instead of forward?     Just got back from the final Ash feeding for the day.  Then heard a crash.  It sounded like a tree falling.  Went out with the high powered light but didn't see any.  Could have been on someone elses property or not a tree at all.  Anyway, my shining the light got everyone riled up.  It could have been a back yard tree that echoed.  I remember when we first moved here Sissy would go up on the hill and bark.  A dog would bark back at her.  She was determined to have the last word.  It took some time before we discovered it was her echo.   Sense then the landscape has changed and the echo is rare.  Bear may hear it as he barks all night, but we only hear real dogs barking back at him.  
    It rained all day.  Yesterday was so nice.  I am so glad Shylo's people came to meet him yesterday instead of today.  Fantastic family.  Both Jericho and Shylo are going to have great homes. 
    I spent a few hours in the shop when I got this 'feeling' I needed to go check on the house dogs.  Parker would not let Fez in.  He was up against the house as far under the overhang as he could get but still drenched.  I got him in, scolded Parker several times as he tried to stop him, and got Fez dried off.  Then the silly bozo went back outside and would not come in.  By now it was 1:30 new time and I was getting hungry.  Absolutely nothing in the house to fix that didn't need thawed and several hours to make into something.  Not even bread for a sandwich.  I called down to the shop and told Loren I'd drive down and get him (so he would not get soaked) and we'd get fast food.   Fez was still outside.  I snuck out the family room door, grabbing a way too small lead off the pool table and grabbed Fez at the gate before the others noticed.  He got to ride along.  We had to go somewhere we could watch him from the window.  We got Wendy's and got him 2 junior meat patties to cool while we ate inside.  A lot of good it did to park where we could watch.  He had the windows so fogged up it looked like... I was going to say "submarine races on Mulholland Drive" but unless you are over 60 and lived in California you wouldn't 'get it'...  So I'll say two teens on a hot (or pot) date.  One barley visible shadow of a big head moving back and forth and up and down.  By the time we got into the car, even the shadow was not visible.  And it took the defrosters about 3 minutes before I could see to back out of the parking spot.  It took Fez about 3 seconds to devour the 2 meat patties.  I had to apologize to him.  They forgot the cheese.  
    I've received 3 applications for Ash already.  I have to be diligent.  I don't want a 'sympathy' adoption.  That is worse then a "cute little puppy" adoption.  Puppies turn into dogs.  Sick dogs hopefully will turn into healthy dogs.   And Ash is on his way to marked improvement already.  A few more days and I'll take him in for a weigh-in.  But this week is full.  Jericho needs his heartworm treatment.  Shylo needs a check of his back.  That curve is still pronounce and I want to be sure that if there is a sign of potential future problems, the adopters are aware.  And Loren goes into out-patient at the hospital in the morning.  Some scan.  I still get mixed up of what kind but it's to see if the cancer has spread.   He went to bed at 4:00 not feeling good.  I wish he'd take naps.  I can push myself to keep going.  He can't.  So anyway, with vet trips and hospital trips and feeding Ash trips up and down the hill and all the other 'have to's', it is going to be a very long and exhausting week.  I'm tired just thinking about it.  So much for making it to Springfield which we have wanted/needed to do for a month. 
3/8/12:  I luxuriated (is that a word?)  this morning and ate my donut before I fed the dogs.  The doggie gods frowned upon this and a torrent of rain ensued as I was ready to feed the yard dogs.  I apologized and it quit raining long enough for me to get them fed and back up to the house.  It is now coming down in buckets.  I really wanted to get Jericho home as soon as the vet calls with some information but I hate to have us both drenched as it is not easy getting him in and out of the car.  I wish we had an old car that we could just take the back seat out of so he could get in and out easily and ride comfortably.  Wish I could get one donated and I'd just send it with him to his forever home end of April.  It will be next year after he recovers from knee replacement surgery before he is able to safely step up on anything.  They need to make handicapped vehicles for dogs like they do for wheelchair bound people.  How do people with 100 pound dogs on wheels get them to the vet and places?? 
    Breakfast for Ash is hard.  The meals at 2 hour intervals are not so bad but him having gone all night without food makes him inhale that much faster in the morning.  He finished before Penny and he gets twice as much.  He tried to get to hers and I had to hang on to him.  All I could think was "please don't bite me", but he made no effort to do so.  I really don't want to separate them at regular meal time.  I think it would set a bad precedence.  He will eventually learn the rules and he will someday have a full tummy.  He may never get over these habits caused by starvation but we need to deal with them in the right way. 
Evening: Rain all day.  Still raining and cold.  I showed Ash the dog house and doggie door again and put him in where he had to use it to come out.  He knows what to do, is just not doing it.  He is soaked and I'm concerned, but the dog house is available and the heat is turned on.  At least he is mostly staying under the carport but the ground and carpet is wet from rain runoff. 
    Vet called this morning and Jericho was barely limping on the foot so I went and got him.  He was glad to be home and Shylo was really glad to see him. 
    Parker spent a good part of the day in the bath tub.  I got his thunder shirt out and he got out of the tub for me to put it on him.  It does not cure, but it does help.  He curled up in a corner of the bedroom after it was on.  When the rain let up a bit and the thunder was not booming, he came to me to take it off.  I find it so amazing how well some of them can communicate what they want.  I know a lot is guess work on our part, but they narrow down the guesses for us really good.
    It's dark.  I'm tired.  Ash has had his final meal for the day (I'm probably feeding him too much so tomorrow I'll feed the same number of meals, just a little less food in each).  I'm going to take a hot bath and then curl up with Bear and Sweetness and watch a movie. 

3/7/12: The last 24 hours has been a week long.  I woke up to pee and poop on the floor. (that didn't come out right :-Q) I’m sure it was Julia and she was afraid to go past Zelda or Sahara or Parker to go outside.  I know it was not something she would have done given a choice.  I vaguely remember barking coming from the living room, but just could not get myself awake enough to go check.  Guess I should have.  Would have saved us both stress and me having to clean up the mess. 
    Yesterday when I went to feed the yard dogs, Jericho could not get up.  His right front leg was swollen.  His right back leg is the bad one so he could not balance on 2 legs on the same side.  I sat on the ground and held his bowl while he ate.  He finally managed to get up and wobble over to his bed and lay down.  I checked on him through out the day and it did not get any better.  This morning it was still swollen so I took him into the vet.  It was really hard getting him into the car and even harder getting him out.  He lost his balance when the bad front leg came down and he crashed to the pavement and landed on his chin.  I wanted to cry.  He was stuck.  He could not lift his front nor his back.  I finally got him up and he got out.  I was just dropping him off because I didn’t have an appointment.  He sure did not want to leave me.  That broke my heart too.   Vet called and his temp was normal and he did not react to having the leg touched and moved.  He just can’t put weight on it.  And it is very swollen.  They are keeping him over night.  That breaks my heart too.  He will be so confused.  
   Yesterday Nancy, Betty and Elnor came to walk dogs.  We got done in 2 trips.  It was quite a sight on the one trip with 7 dogs.  The yard dogs didn’t get a walk because Jericho couldn’t and he would have been upset if Shylo left.  And Sarge is just too much to handle for anyone but me.  I had to go to Harrison and meet Linda (Animal Abuse Officer) to pick up one she had to take and no where to take it to.  Elnor rode along.
    Pulled in right on schedule to get him.  Not a Pyr, but a Pyr/ASD mix.  Mostly looks ASD.  Mostly looks on deaths door.  Linda felt bad she was wrong on the breed, but I would not have been able to say no after seeing him.  I named him Ash because he looks like remains of something once magnificent and, like the Phoenix, he will rise from the ashes to be beautiful again.  He’s about 28 or 29” at the shoulders but only weighs 44 pounds.  Less then half what he should weigh.  He crated right up after traveling ‘shot gun’ in Linda’s pick up cab.  So he is a good traveler.  He is also amazingly sweet and no food issues other then inhaling.  We stopped at the vet and I got wormer.  We need to wait 3 weeks before he gets any shots or heart worm test or anything.  He is just too thin.  So I started him on all the supplements last night and am feeding every 2 hours during daylight.  The way he inhales, I have to spread it out or he would get sick.  One more meal tonight before I crash.    
     I got pictures of him right away and emailed a gal who had contacted me about adopting a Pyr.  I apologized to her about getting her hopes up on him.  I didn’t think she would be interested upon seeing him, but I was wrong.  I got her application for him today.  I have been so touched by real ‘dog people’ lately, it is really helping me cope with all the other things going on.
    Anyway, I moved Sarge into the shop when I got home with Ash and put him in with Penny.  I’m really losing my patience with her.  Sarge too.  I should stick in my comfort zone, (I have to say NO to ALL from now on) but Sarge was suppose to be in it… a 4 year old German Shepherd, NOT an 8 or 9 year old Belgian Malinois.  After taking Jericho to the vet, Shylo got so scared.  He drooled all over himself.  His front legs were soaked.  He was visibly shaking.   I put Sarge on leash in with Loren and brought Shylo into the shop.  Opened the door and Sarge went after Shylo.  Poor Shylo was so confused.  Got the door closed before any contact.  Went around and took Sarge out the back door and into the yard where Shylo and Jericho had been.  Later when I moved them back, Sarge got out of the shop and went off on his merry way for over an hour.  He is just not going to come back until he is good and ready.   I have a real hard time handling this.  It is such a liability issue.  We could lose everything.  Just do not know what I am going to do about him. 
     Since Jericho is not going to be here tonight, I brought all the comforters up to wash.  I figured I could get at least one completely finished for Shylo.  Well, my washer is “made for king size comforters”.  That is why I bought it.  I hate it, but normally it washes ok.  Well, I have re-washed the first comforter.  It is in the washer for the third time.  I had to give Shylo one of the ones I use here in the house for these dogs.  Because it goes on a mattress, it is not near as thick or comfortable so I felt bad.  I know the one that is now on ‘spin’ is not going to be dry before dark.  UGH!   And I have used up all the hot water so I guess I’ll take a bath in the morning. 
    All I can say is:  We did not have a tornado.  We did not have a wreck.  We did not have a heart attack (although we both were close) and we did not have a nervous break down (another "close").

3/6/12:    The front yard looks like a feeding ground for a herd.  This weather has really brought out the deer.  Shylo really wants to join them.  They are not fazed by his barking.  They were not fazed by my flashlight pointed at them either. What is weird is Penny and Sarge are not barking and the deer are just 30’ from them.  I think we had a back yard full, too.  I wish I had closed the gate again last night/tonight. Maybe I’ll re-set the yard light tonight/tomorrow.   What is 3:49 a.m. anyway?  Still tonight or last night? 
    Wonder if Sissy has missed me.  She was snoring loudly laying across the pillows at the head of the bed, butt in my back.  Sweetness was perpendicular to her, parallel to me and up against my legs.  She snores but is a light sleeper.  Very little will wake Sissy from a deep sleep.  I’m jealous. 
  It got so quiet!  Bet if I sneak back to bed it won’t last!
3/5/12:  Decided I just had to call and check on the dog I have been agonizing over.  Well, she has won them over 1000%.  I talked to the 'reluctant' family member and she just bubbled with enthusiasm of how perfect she is and how lucky they are to have her.  She told some heartwarming stories about the past few months.  I can finally relax.  Only one dog I still wonder about but they are out of reach and I have no way to find them. 
    This morning Jericho was being lazy.  He usually gets up to greet me, but he was laying in the sun in a bed of leaves.  I'm thinking "I just brushed you out!"  Then he rolls in them and wiggles and just covers himself, gets up and comes over for attention.  Could this be his way of saying he liked being brushed and making an excuse for me to have to do it again?
    Trying to decide if I want to move Sarge today or tomorrow.  I need to know if they will let him re-integrate into the house before tomorrow when I get the other dog.  The decision on when is for the best result for Penny.  Do I make her lonely for a night so she will be more receptive to new yard friend?  Or will it make her mad to be alone, yet resentful towards new competition?  I know dogs don't emotionalize like people do.  Guess they are lucky that way.  No ulcers!
    Pretty weather today so will get Shylo out and to town for some socialization. 
3/4/12:  Changed the outside lights yesterday and guess the over-brightness outside made it easier to see critters/invaders as they barked way more then normal... if that is possible.   It is almost a full moon so that adds to the illuminated night.  I just went out and set the timer for them to kick off just any time now (10:35 p.m.)  Bear is 'on a roll' since he is the only one who has access to his yard.  I've closed the gate on the others so they are stuck by the house.  Now if I can coax Julia off the bed and into Lorens room, I can close Bear in with me and maybe get some sleep.  Seems like it has been a week since I get any real rest. 
    Jericho and Shylo really enjoyed the ladies who came to meet Jericho on Saturday.  Two hours of attention.  I wanted to take Shylo to the park today to see how he would be with children but it was cold all day so figured there would not be any kids there.  Seems like nothing wants to go as planned.  And stresses are piling up. 
    Loren goes to the specialist Tuesday for a biopsy.  Don't know how long the results take.  He doesn't want me to go with so while he is there, I'll be picking up a dog in Harrison.  Hopefully the dogs stay will be short.  Hopefully he and Penny will get along or I'm screwed. 
    Zelda has started stealing Fez's squeaky toys.  She only wants the ones right beside him when he's asleep.  She actually tip toes in and is very soft mouthed so she can make a clean get away and he is none the wiser.  She is also stealing the Nylabones and taking them out.  Not the ones just laying around, of which there are many, but only the ones that another dog has just laid down in order to get a drink or go out to potty.  Those are the ones she takes.  We are getting pretty low again even though I go on a retrieval mission every 2 days.  She must have a special hiding place and I sure can't find it.   
3/1/12:  This 3 a.m. wake up has got to quit.  No storm.  No warning sirens, just critter warning dogs.  I let Sweetness and Chipi over and both were very grateful.  Zelda came in.  They sniffed in the doorway.  Zelda did her usual soft growl.  Went over, laid down, chewed a Nylabone for about 3 minutes and then took off out the door with it.  We are back to normal. 
    I cannot get one dog off my mind.  She is in a good home, just not the right home.  Not a day goes by that I don't worry if she is happy.  When I was at the vet's office on Saturday, I was talking to a man older then me.  They brought in a small dog they have had for 16 years that was not likely to be going home with them.  He was nice and he cared about the dog, but he just didn't have that passion and didn't understand it.  I felt very sorry for his wife because she was not going to have anyone to share her grief with... At least not someone who could understand it and share it.  It's just a dog.  They will replace it.  He thought I was crazy when I diplomatically disputed his opinion and got tears telling of my relationship with my rescues that had either died or I lost track of.  How much I worried that the ones I no longer had contact about were ok.  That when I rescued, I saved them from death and that was a big responsibility.  To make that 'rest of their life'  decision for them was a huge responsibility that I take very seriously.  He just shook his head.  I'm glad I didn't marry someone like him.  Loren may not be the best people person, but he is the best dog person ever and that makes him so much greater.  I'm so scared of losing him.
     Yesterday Sarge and Penny spent the morning in the shop with us.  The more time, the better she gets.  And the better Sarge walks on leash.  But also the more jealous of the other 2 when they watch him leave to go back to his yard.  They know it is their turn and so does he.  We had to run to Lowes and pick up the light fixtures for the kitchen.  They are almost all dead so electrician is coming Friday.  Shylo and Jericho got heir shop time when we got back. 
     They love to come to the shop, but then they go out and lay in the small yard!  I wish they would lay inside near me.  Especially Jericho.  Shylo has went to pulling blankets outside again.  He quit when he saw me watching several days ago.  I thought it was cute, but he must have thought he was doing something wrong so he quit.  I wish there was a way to let him know it is ok. They are his and he can take them where ever he wants.  Anyway, before I put them back, I took them for a walk.  I don't go far and I am careful to stay on the levelest ground possible as not sure what might cause Jericho discomfort.  He fell.  It just devastated me.   I almost cried.  A lady is coming to meet him Saturday.  She has got to love him as much as I do or she won't need to bother to fill out an application.  I kind of think she will though.  ...back to bed... hopefully it's finally quiet time.
2/29/12 - 3:15 a.m.:   Storm sirens going off.  Parker in my bath tub.  Lacy hiding under my desk.  Julia on the bed with Loren.  Everyone huddled somewhere.  Just shutting down computers and unplugging TV's .
CANCELED due to tornado damage in the St. Louis area. Tune into Fox 2 News STL tomorrow, Wed Feb 29 at 9 pm to see Chris Hayes' story on Seeking Furever Homes Rescue in Silex, MO, run by Ryan Rumfelt. Rumfelt is the son of Ovella Lange, the puppy miller who owned the 3 Pampered Pets stores in Chesterfield, Mid Rivers and St Clair Square that we protested from 2008 through 2010 until they all closed. Last year, MO Dept of Agriculture revoked Lange's breeder license for 5 yrs (and we know how bad a breeder has to be for that to happen in MO) yet MoDA licensed Lange's son as a 'rescue' at the same location the mill was.  What?????
     As more people become educated about puppy mills, more and more breeders are claiming to be 'rescues' to deceive the public which ultimately hurts the legitimate rescues who truly care about the animals.
    For those of you unable to watch the story, I will post a link after it airs so you can view it and share with everyone.
2/27/12:  Zelda is almost fine.  The lump was back to normal, as was her temperature.  She has a small ulcer between her toes so they did something with that and gave her a shot.  Thank goodness I questioned before just signing the papers and having her go under for something that she didn't need.  Her mood is back to normal, but not back where I want it to be like from several years ago.  But I'm happy with just from a week ago.  I've not let Sweetness over though.  Not quite ready. 
    Sarge and Penny got to spend the day in the shop.  I wish I didn't have to divide the time as all 4 'outside' guys need that special inside with me time.  Sarge is just so old, I really need to get him back into the house pack, but don't know what to do with Penny.  Maybe she will take up with Julia and they will wear each other out playing.
    Speaking of Julia and playing, her and Lacy are having a great time.  They follow each other around and sometimes act silly and do a little happy dance.  When Lacy goes home, Julia will miss her.  
    Thunder storms predicted for tomorrow, but hopefully they will miss us.  I would have to stay put all day 'protecting' Parker. 
2/26/12:  Zelda is feeling better.  Not letting Sweetness in her space, but Zelda is back with the others ad the growling has almost ceased.  She goes in tomorrow morning for a biopsy of the lump and x-rays of her leg and hip and a dental.  Might as well do it all while she is under and I'm paying for anesthesia. (well, will be eventually when I get some money). 
    Last night I kept her in my room with the door closed.  She needed out once to go potty.  I took a bunch of calming breaths and the trip through the pack outside my door was pretty much uneventful.  I didn't get the door closed good behind me, though and Sissy was on the bed when we came back in.  Zelda went over and sniffed her.  Sissy just laid there.  Zelda was satisfied and laid down and went back to sleep.  So did I. 
    It is evening now and Sweetness is barking to come in.  I'm not ready for that yet.  I have to be sure Zelda is totally feeling good before I open that door.   
2/25/12:  Zelda is at the vets.  104 temp and a huge lump on her leg.  I knew she was sick.  Waiting for a call back from the vet.  I just wonder how long the lump has been there.  I brush her completely at least every week but with so much hair and undercoat, I could have easily missed it.  If she had not been limping so much this morning, it might have went un-discovered much longer.  She was groomed a few months ago and they would have said something if it was there.  They always notice these things.  I usually notice these things.  I am a nervous wreck. 

2/24/12:  BRRR!  That summer weather is gone and winter winds are chilling to the bone.
    I let Zelda out of the garage yard about 2 a.m.  Everyone finally settled in at 2:49 a.m. and I got to go to sleep.  Sissy on one side and Julia on the other.  I missed having Sweetness on the bed.  Julia will have to go back with Loren tonight.  I don’t think there will be enough room for me with over 300 pounds of dogs on the bed. 
    Anyway, Zelda’s freedom was short lived.  She refused to move from Parkers eating spot.  I had to feed him in another place a few feet away.  Zelda continued to growl at all of them.  I leashed her up and practically had to drag her out the door.  I know she is sick.  I know she can’t help being a grump, but I can’t stand between her and everyone else 24/7.  After we get back from picking up Sweetness, I’m going to start research both for Zelda and on muscle cramps for Julia.  I really believe that is what it is.  I started her on some homeopathic stuff I have and will see how that goes.  I’m canceling her Monday appointment and putting it off for a week to see if my approach will work.  Can’t hurt and neither will the wait.  Vet bills are just piling up and I have never let them go more then a week.  Now we are into 3 weeks with a balance and it’s being added to. 
     Got the HS news letter yesterday.  They are the HS that spends $40,217 a MONTH with just 33 dogs and a dozen cats and been crying for money.  They just got a $100,000 bequeath.  That will last all of 10 weeks.  It would last Ozark Dogs 10 years!  Five years if I took in 33 dogs and a dozen cats.  Every rescue and most other HS should be angry as hell like I am.  I’m angry about people who donate and do not do the homework to know how the money they give will be spent.  Ask for a copy of the 501 C 3 tax return and a copy of their monthly accounting before donating anything more then the cost of lunch. 
   Time to go pick up Sweetness.  We will pick her up first and then run to the store.  Loren will stay in the car with her and I’ll bring her out a donut.  Breaking my ‘no wheat’ rule, but this is an exception.
    Daylight:  Good thing I left Sweetness.  They ended up having to stitch the ear.  When they went to cleaning it, it began just pouring blood again.  She now has a big bandage on it.  Mostly to keep from getting blood all over, but partially to be sure she does not snag the stitches.  Guess I'll take her to the shop with me even though Zelda is still isolated.  Sweetness just needs some reassurance.

2/23/12:  I lost yesterday.  Seems like it was ‘walking the dog day’, but that was Tuesday.  Not sure what happened to Wednesday.  Loren goes in for blood work this morning. 
     Nancy will be here to walk dogs.  We did good Tuesday.  Five, then 3 and 3 and 2 and 2.  Sarge and Penny are just too much to handle beyond one on one.  A car went by and both bolted to chase it.  Sarge drug me (on my feet) almost into it.  Penny has taught him that bad habit.  He never use to chase cars.  They are so bored down in that yard.  It is next to a road so that is their excitement for the day, running the fence line and barking at cars.  I don’t know what else to do.  Sarge needs at the house, but Penny is my problem.  I need to change her name to Napoleon.  The little one who takes over the country (pack). 
     I got 2 hours sleep and several mini naps.  I got Goofy in before I went to bed at 9:10.  Bear was on the bed with me wanting attention until around10.  Then he bailed.  Changed doors.  Sweetness went outside then and got ‘stuck’ so was up letting her in around 10:40.  Then Chipi went out and thought she was stuck. That was about 11:30. No one was in the kitchen.  The door guards were way up on the hill enjoying the weather.  I didn’t see Sissy.  I left the kitchen light on so if she came, she knew she had a clear shot at getting in.  Then around 12:15 Sissy wanted in.  No one shuts up if ignored.  They will bark for hours, one bark per every 2 seconds… all night.  I got up and let Sis in.  I tried to coax her into the bedroom.  She laid down in the kitchen.  I went to the bathroom and then tried to coax her in again before crawling back in bed.  By now my patience is wearing very thin.  I crawl in bed and immediately Sissy starts baring wanting escorted into the room.  She is not intimidated by Chipi and Sweetness.  No excuse she can’t come through the bedroom door without help.  I told myself I was not giving in.  I listened to that 2 second bark, with extras thrown in every third bark until 2:20. 
    I picked up my pillow, wanting to throw it at her, but proceeded to walk past her and ignore her.  Went into the living room and closed the door behind me.  Barely got settled in bed with Loren when Goofy needed out to potty.  He was closed in because I had shut the doors to the kitchen.  I settled in again, having to move Julia as she takes what ever space she can get.  Twenty minutes later I hear Goofy.  Got up and let him back in.  By this time the grumps had come off the hill and taken over door guard duty.   It is then 2:44.  Goofy, Lacy, Julia and Fez are in the living room closed off from the others who are in the kitchen.  I like to never got Julia to move enough for me to get in bed.
     Next thing I heard was Goofy wanting in.  At some point I had sleep walked and let him out again as I know I let him in right after I let him out the first time.  It was 4:44. 
     I try again to get a little sleep.  Must have dozed a little.  I woke up at 5:15 when the serenade began.  Ran everyone out of Loren’s room and the living room except Fez and Goofy, then on outside and closed off the living room.  Got dressed and heard Fez needing out.  When I let him out, Parker came barging in.  He intimidates Goofy.  I ran interference.  Parker is getting the idea that he is not going to get away with this crap.  I was scolding him and body blocking him when he laid down and rolled over on his back in the submissive position… or the “rub my belly” position.  It is real hard to know and really hard to pick the correct response.  OK, this may sound really stupid to some and really ‘normal’ to others, but I am always afraid I am going to hurt their feelings by not letting them know I accept their apology.   Parker got a belly rub.  Rather error on the side of wrong then right. 
    It’s light out.  Time to feed. 
    Evening:  Just one of those days when things just don’t go right.  Dogs were so hyped up when they saw Nancy.  They knew it was walk time.  I could not get them separated to get just half out the door.  I lost it.  I yelled and gave them a very loud lecture.  I don’t lose it that often so they knew they were in trouble.  They settled down pretty fast.  The walks went reasonably well, but I was just too tired from lack of sleep to be in the mood for any pulling. 
     Julia continues to limp.  I took her back in this afternoon.  They will get a better set of x-rays Monday.  X-rays don’t show if there is a muscle cramp or stuff like that.  I think that is what it is, but don’t have any way to rule it out, just rule out everything else.  Ass backwards.
     When I got home there was blood every where.  All over the floors from one end of the house to the other, blood on the walls.  Blood on dog beds.  Blood on furniture.  In a panic I start counting heads then see the blood pouring from Sweetness’s ear.  A chunk about 2” long and triangle shaped from a ¼ inch to 1” wide was missing.   We got some of the blood up before we grabbed her into the car and off to the vet.  I know it sounds wrong to mop up the blood first, but instincts told me it might have an emotional effect on the others while we were gone.  I don’t know, but just where my brain was at.  Sweetness was not going to bleed to death and the piece was missing so they couldn’t put it back, so although it was an emergency, a few precautionary minutes was not going to mean a life or death.
     After Loren dropped me and Sweetness off, I had him go back home and separate Zelda.  It had to be her.  Not even the remotest possibility of it being anyone else.  I needed to protect Lacy, Julia and Fez.  The others could handle themselves and Zelda would not cross them.  So Sweetness is spending the night at the vet and Zelda is in the garage yard.  Goofy will just have to settle for sleeping in the house.  I am not sure how I will deal with this come tomorrow morning.  Isolating Zelda will only make her worse.   I just don’t have options that I am comfortable with.  I’ve got the shop available but that will eliminate personal time I spend with the 4 outside ones. 
    I just knew this day was coming.  I’ve known it for years.  Zelda is just sick.  I know she does not feel good but we can find nothing wrong.  Maybe dogs develop mental illness too.  I need to do some research but I don’t know what to really look for.  “Canine Mental Illness?”  She acts Paranoid Schizophrenic.  For real. 
   I’ll miss Sweetness on the bed with me tonight.  Maybe the throwing up is a sign of something with her that Zelda senses.  Like Bear tried to kill Frank when he got sick and then Charlie when Charlie got sick.  And he hates Zelda and would do her major harm.  The feeling is mutual.  So maybe Zelda senses Sweetness is sick and Bear senses Zelda is sick?  Grasping at anything to solve this situation or at least know what I am dealing with if I have to accept it. 

2/21/12:  This is gross, so if you can’t handle gross, skip the blue. 
    I was woke up hearing regurgitation.  I threw the covers back and chased Sweetness outside.  She throws up about once a week and it is really getting to me.  She is a poop connoisseur.  Anyway, I thought I had gotten her outside in time. 
     There are night lights all over the place so most areas are pretty visible.  Most.  I climbed back in bed and brought the covers over me.  MISTAKE!  I grossed out and leaped out of bed only to land my bare feet in something very wet and gushy.  I turned on the bed side lamp to light the only area in the bedroom that the night lights don’t cover.  There was puke on the bed, puke on the floor, puke on the drapes, puke on the dog bed, puke on my face (from flipping up the covers), puke on my night shirt, puke on my legs and puke between my toes and the soles of my feet.  There was puke beginning to resonate from my gut. 
    I wiped my feet on a clean area of dog bed, ran to the kitchen and grabbed paper towels and Wal-mart bags (Wal-mart is good for something).  Wiped my face on the way back to the bedroom then began picking up the piles, yes piles, of puke that so closely resembles poop.  Then I began to gag.  It is really hard to keep my mind focused on other things when my eyes and nose are actively involved in what I am doing.  One bag was scooping up the biggest mass, another bag was open for my convenience.  Then out came the paper towels.  I had lost it by then.  Luckily my last meal was at 1 p.m. yesterday so my stomach was totally empty.  Of course it was trying to throw itself out.     
      I’m racing through the kitchen, puke bags in each hand.  One full and one ready for me.  By the time I get them into the trash, my stomach and gut both feel like they were torn loose from the rest of my insides. 
      The drapes were long overdo for cleaning but 5:30 a.m. is not the most desirable time to be up on a chair unhooking them.   Thankfully I didn’t fall.  Got them piled on a chair, the pukey one rolled into itself.  I don’t know if they will survive cleaning because I don’t know the fabric content.   Fabric came from a discount store.  I made them 4 years ago.  Made the bedspread, which I rarely put on.  Removed the dust ruffle years ago because it got so dirty from the dogs.  Covered the room chairs in the same fabric.  I made area rugs to match.  If they don’t survive,  I’m looking at total decour replacement and a shit load of money even doing it all myself.  And I’m sure I’ll have to pay something to the dry cleaners even if they don’t survive.  So how much can a pile of puke cost?  A lot.
     I took a bath.  Felt like I needed to follow it up with a shower but I had wiped it all off me before getting in the tub.   BTW, before getting in the tub I noticed some tiny things floating.  I didn’t have my glasses.  It could have been just frizz from the towel I wiped it out with.  Naked, I was not going to go off across the house looking for a pair.  I took a Dixie cup and began scooping them out.  They went down the sink, what every they were, never to be reckoned with, or recognized, again.       I had plenty of help getting dressed, but Sweetness was not among them.  She had settled over on another rug with a Nylabone.  But Zelda was present for attention.  That is very unusual.  She doesn’t like Sweetness.  Maybe she was celebrating that Sweetness was in trouble.  They seem to know these things.  

2/19/12:  A good nights sleep but frustration this morning (4 a.m.)  Now they won't even let Goofy come to the deck.  He normally comes to the doggie door and barks to be escorted past the meanies.  He didn't even get past the gate this morning.  I heard the barking and got up only to see him go back in the garage.  I got my robe and shoes on and brought him in, giving the threesome a lecture as we passed.  I am just at a loss as to what is going on.  I do see the 3, Zelda, Parker and Sahara  vying for position among themselves but then it is join forces against Goofy and Fez.  They only do it when they don't think I will notice.  I'm dealing with a bunch of canine bullies. 
     Maybe I'm just taking too much 'me' time in the shop.  But I need this me time.  I so enjoy it.  It also allows for special time each day with the 4 outside guys.  Shylo and Jericho in the morning and Sarge and Penny in the afternoons.  That is not going perfect either.  Penny is going down hill fast.  She is getting bossier by the day.  Poor Sarge.  She tries to get between him and me all the time.  He really needs to be at the house.  He is still in great physical shape, but he is old and living in the yard is just wrong for an old guy.  But they  would bully him too. 
     Yesterday I got 11 urgent notices of Pyrs in animal control facilities, all within driving distance, although some a long drive.  These are dogs that are on death row because all dogs in AC are on death row.  AC are not Humane Societies.  They are a temporary housing facility where, if unclaimed by the owner or not adopted within days, they die.  One dog is 8 hours away but he is really breaking my heart.  An unsocial goat dog.  No aggression, just scared and confused.  I failed the one out here a few weeks ago.  That still haunts me.  I hope the neighbor who killed him is suffering from every pain imaginable.  My heart is sure heavy that I failed the wonderful guy who was just doing his job.  I know saving this one  would not bring the other back, but it would ease my mind somewhat, and my heart. And give him a chance he is not going to otherwise get.  A 'hard case' no one is going to want to take on. Another Sahara that took me 4 months just to let me touch her.  Who, after 4 years is still so timid of strangers.  Who considers me her goat since that is all she ever knew.  But I have more then I can fairly juggle as it is. 
    I just need help.  I need people to just come and visit a dog.  Like a Big Brother program.  If they can't adopt, then come pick one up for the day or a few hours.  Take one to Petco for a doggie ice cream and to the park for a walk, or home for a few hours just to let it sit on the sofa with them while they watch TV or on the floor next to their feet while they 'Facebook'.  My 2 volunteers are wonderful, but the dogs need so much more people time. 
    Shylo may have an adopter.  I need to get him out into the world this week and next to see if he has the potential as a therapy dog.  I just don't know him well enough yet.  Taking him away for a few hours is going to be hard on Jericho.  I'll have to do it in the mornings when Loren is feeling good so Jericho can be in the shop with him.  Jericho gets nervous when he is alone.  It reminds me of Sherman when Leo left.  Dogs bond just like people and they move on, just like people.  But I want to make it as painless as possible.  Happy new beginnings for all with that very special person.  Sadly, there are probably 8 of those 11 in the emails that will never get that chance... if I could just take one...
2/18/12:  Past 2 days went into cyber space.  Had them typed but the cyber gods did not see fit to let me save them.  I hate that little circle that goes round and round working it's little heart out to 'save'.  I give up, go to bed and it's still working it's heart out next morning with no results.  Click again and you are doomed.  I may have to go back to typing in word and then copy/paste as I never get it that same if I do it over.
      Lacy comes today.  I hope it gives Julia someone to feel good around.  She needs a confidence builder and Lacy is the one to do it. 
      I had 3 good nights in a row.  Then night before last was a bark-fest and last night was even worse.  They just gave up telling me to serve breakfast.  It's still dark.  They will survive although Sahara does not think she will.
     Political:  We are doomed.  Romney puts his dog on the roof of his car for a 12 hour ride.  It may have been a long time ago, but instead of apologizing for being young and stupid, he has the audacity to say the dog liked it up there.  Santorum is against anyone who does not 'fit' in his self righteous world.  Is there hope Ron Paul will be able to hang on until we see what he's really made of?  Obama will eliminate the middle class, bring back slavery in reverse and turn the name God into Allah.  Are there any other states besides Arkansas that you cannot write in a candidate?  Voting machines do not have that capacity, at least not the ones I've experienced.  We are in a lot of trouble, folks.  The really smart people out there are smart enough to not want the job.   Loren says there should be a 'test' to pass before you can run for government office.  I think there should also be a test you should have to pass before you can vote. 
2/15/12:  Took Fez and Goofy to the shop with us.  I felt really good getting a second nights sleep.  Had the stereo going as always and started dancing around.  Goofy was getting the hang of it, so I was trying to teach him to move with the music with my hand directions.  I had him turning when I turned and circling me when I directed him to.  I yelled for Loren to come watch.  Fez came running and wanted in on the action.  Fez has 4 left paws and no rhythm.  Fez went bounding off into the other room and then came back.  He decided humping my leg was appropriate.  Goofy was still just being goofy.  I walked into the other room and then turned my back to walk back.  Fez hit me full force in the back.  Luckily I was walking as if I had been standing still, I would have went face first onto the concrete floor.  All of a sudden my back felt better then it has in years.  He must have put it back in place, something the last chiropractor failed to do.  So now he is Dr. Fez, up there with Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil.  Now he just needs one of those internet diplomas and I can write off his care as payment for medical expenses. 
     It really hammered rain off and on all day.  It is so loud in the shop.  I ran up once to open the bedroom door so Parker could hide in the tub.  Glad I didn't bring him to the shop.  Julia is scared too.  There is only a slight chance of rain tonight, but I am afraid to put Jericho and Shylo in the shop incase it does rain.  The noise is so magnified under that metal roof.  It is only suppose to get down to 40 tonight, so they should be fine in their yard. 
     Don't know why Julia did not stay on the bed with Loren.  She got off and came in here with me.  She is asleep right by my feet.  If Sissy would be ok with it, I'd teach Julia how to get on the bench to get on my bed.  Sissy is ok with Sweetness, but she doe not even like to have other dogs resting their chins on the bed when she is up there.  If Julia was up there first, it would probably be ok, but that ESP would probably freak her out and she'd get off the side and not use the bench.  She might hurt that leg even more.  So she will have to settle for the blankets on the floor.
    Here's hoping for a third night of sleep....  Miracles can happen, but this is really stretching it.  Chances are akin to winning the mega millions without buying the lottery ticket. 
2/14/12:  I felt NORMAL!  I said a little pray that Shylo not to get into anything. I dozed off in a hot bath. I settled the house dogs in.  I settled me in.  I watched a movie.  (It made me cry).  I was asleep by 10.  I vaguely remember getting up once.  I woke up a few minutes ago (5 a.m.) totally refreshed for the first time in a long time.  It is still dark outside so wondering "will it last" when I go down to check on Jericho and Shylo.  Lets just say that what ever awaits me, I am rested enough to 'clean it up' and calm enough not to have a nervous breakdown.  The real kicker is, it didn't even freeze last night.  They would have been fine outside.  Life is full of un-predictables and 'hell if you do & hell if you don't' s.
     Fez has moved onto the bed with Loren.  Jealous of Julia.  When Fez gets on a queen size bed, there is not much room for a human, let alone another dog as well.  Julia slept beside my bed.  She is in here squeaking.  Loren says I need to 'oil' her.  Hounds do squeak.  Julia is the epitome of squeak.
     Shylo and Jericho have discovered my light on.  They are barking their greeting.  Will be light soon so guess I will dish food bowls and see what awaits me in the shop.
2/13/12:  Jericho and Shylo enjoyed the shop so much yesterday and this morning, that I am crossing my fingers and saying a prayer tonight that all will be intact in the morning.  Just too freezing cold for them outside.  Jericho really suffers in the cold with his arthritic knee.  He planted his feet when I went to put them back earlier today.  So I brought them back down after feeding.  I left the light on, confined them to my room and the small outside yard of they need to potty.  Covered everything up and set a few 'scare traps' if Shylo tried to get into things he's not suppose to.  Leaned dust mop handles against some places and some empty boxes on top of others.  If he gets into stuff, something is going to fall without hurting him.  Just scaring him enough to leave it alone, I hope. 
     Woke up to snow this morning.  Came down until around 2.  Very wet.  Fez looked like my poke-a-dot material.  White dots on black.   I really don't think he was aware of how wet he was. 
     Early to bed after a hot bath... and a peek out the window to see who is barking.  Hope it's not Jericho.
2/11/12:  So cold today.  Sun came out and it looked nice outside, but it was freezing.  Dogs kept begging for a walk.  Didn't happen.  Bad enough just feeding and breaking ice.  The yard behind the house obviously stays less cold then the one with the dog house.  Good thing I built down there as Penny and Sarge really need it.  I turned up the heat in there.  I know it's going to be another $500 to $600 electric bill month.  No choice.  I just don't see how dogs can survive without heated shelter or at least wrapped and covered. 
     Fez was jealous, I guess.  He got on the bed and slept with Loren last night.  Julia has been sleeping there and is again tonight.  I was wondering why she was in with me last night.  Anyway, Loren said Fez does not know how or can't jump on the bed.  What he did was drape his front half over Loren and then pull himself up using Loren as a gripping post.   That must have been something to watch. 
     I worked in the shop a good part of the day.  I should have brought Shylo and Jericho in but got side tracked.  Before I knew it, it was 1:30 and I needed to fix lunch.   By the time that was done and eaten, it was close enough to feed the dogs. 
     It is almost midnight.  I tried going to bed several times but the barking... They get real quiet and I think I am sneaking in there and they sense that I am going to bed.  Time to protect mommy and the property... woof, woof, woof..... 
2/10/12:  Finally!  Julia is going out on her own.  Still coming back to the house to find a puddle, but I know she gets trapped by some and still reluctant to pass.  It's only taken a month!!  Well, actually 2 weeks since the first 2 weeks she was in the shop with Millie.  No accidents there at all.
    I do not know what was outside the yard, but they barked at it all night.  I suspect a stray dog or cat.  If it had not been 19 degrees and the wind making it feel like 40 below, I would have went looking.  All I could think of is 'if I see it's a dog and I do get it to come to me, where would I put it?'  It was one of those self preservation choices.  I don't make them very often, but (1) I don't need to expose myself to frostbite and (2) if I didn't catch it, I would have laid awake all night worrying about it.  It was just one of those better to not know situations.  Of course, this morning, still with frozen water and freezing temps, I still feel guilty for not at least going out to see.
     I finally got to sleep about 4 this morning.  I know the barking continued, but I was too tired to hear it.  Bear was really on a roll.  He wants in with the others so bad.  I don't have the courage.  Nor do I have the money for the potential vet bills.  Nor the emotions to allow one of my precious guys to be hurt.  It sucks.
2/9/12:  Jericho and Shylo joined me in the shop for awhile today.  They were curious but very good.  They have been in a house before.  Guess they just figured the dog house was not a full size human version so they weren't going in there.   Jericho has someone very interested in him.  It will be wonderful if it is a match for him.  He will miss Shylo, but it is just so hard to get people who want a huge pair.  Jericho will still be back and forth for the HW treatment and then I'll still pay for the knee replacement surgery.  Paying for it is even easier when I know he will be in a wonderful forever home and not just one of many here for the rest of his life. 
     It's 6 p.m.  Loren is already asleep.  Julia is on the bed with him.  Bear is in my room on my bed waiting for me.  I have some movies recorded so guess I will join him.
2/8/12:  Computer froze up as I was writing yesterdays entry.  I have no idea what went unsaid, but who cares :-)
    I got updates and photos on Toast, Tucker and Millie the past 2 days.  They are all just doing so good.  It keeps me going when I know I made such good choices for these dogs.  I just wish I had more confidence that EVERY decision was the best.  I am still agonizing over one from several months ago.  Good people, just not a good 'match'.  Sort of like they say about a 'soul mate'.  Everyone has one, but not everyone will find him/her so we either do without or we settle.   In rescue, we just can't wait forever making a decision for each one, but thank the Doggie Gods, we get lucky way more often the not.  Hundreds of dogs and we did have one soul mate touch our lives.  It just took him 11 years to find his way to us.  The best 23 months 2 weeks and 6 days of unconditional love we could ever experience.  I am certain I have placed a few that truly were their adopters soul mate.  I am also confident that, most of the time, when I settle, it is still in the best interest of the dog.
     Julia and I are making progress. It just takes a lot of patience to stand out in the cold with her.  I think she is starting to get the idea so hopefully in a few days (or weeks) she will not be afraid of the dark (or the other dogs) and go out on her own.   I have just been so lucky that is has not been a real winter yet.  I dread what may come before spring, so we got to get this 'understanding' solved.  Pyrs love snow and cold.  Hounds hate it.  Thus progress could end before we are done. 
     I am going to have to get proactive about Jericho and his knee replacement.  It is better for vet to refer to vet, but I'll just have to take the initiative.  I need to know he is a candidate for the surgery before I start begging money for it and the begging needs to start soon, if so.  $6000 is an awful lot of money.
2/7/12 Evening:   I thought dogs had good night vision; better then people, but I must be wrong.  At least in Julia's case.  She did do her 'jobs' outside, but I was beginning to think I was going to have to come back in the house and get a flash light.  I understand a dog 'holding it' so as not to go inside, but 'holding it' because they don't want to be outside is strange.  But then I deal mostly with Pyrs, not hounds.  Somebody's crying.  Most likely Julia.  There is probably a dog in her path and she is afraid to come to the computer room. ... She just made it.  Licking my leg under the desk.  It was her squeaking.  She is still squeaking.  I think she wants me to either go to bed where she can feel safe, or help her onto Lorens bed.  She is still limping.  It should be better by now. 
     Everybody got walked this morning. 
2/7/12:  I transported a beautiful Golden to Golden Rescue yesterday morning.  My mind actually thought about canceling and keeping him once I picked him up.  WOW, what a dog.  But that would not have been right for anyone including the dog.  But boy was he a keeper. 
     When I went down to feed Jericho and Shylo I got the third degree.  Jericho was jealous!!!  He always smells the other dogs on me and is use to each of their smells.  But this was amazing.  He went over every inch of me.  Could have been because the Golden was unaltered.  Or just a new dog smell.  Anyway, it actually was a bit unsettling.  I was already feeling sick (more on that next paragraph), but I spent way more time with him then usual.  I didn't want him to feel shunned or replaced.   Anyway, it was quite an interesting experience.  I'm still not sure how to interpret it.    
     Being able to go to bed and sleep off the flu is a luxury a rescue does not have.  I started feeling sick yesterday afternoon.  My gut felt like someone had been using it as a punching bag.  Being head butted by Goofy and Fez didn't help matters any.  Got the dogs fed and went to bed about 5:00.  One of those "I just want to die" sick.  I asked Loren to be sure Julia went potty just before he went to bed.  She is so afraid of being outside at night without an escort and will pee on every area rug.  Guess she does not go on the tile because it would get her feet wet.  I just brought the area rugs back in the house from out on the deck after being 'rain' cleaned.  Well, I know what a challenge it is to get her to pee outside.  Obviously Loren failed.  I don't fault him.  She has to have the gate to the garage and the gate to the house closed and you have to stand out there with her, sometimes for half an hour.  Most people would figure, no, she doesn't have to go.  Yep, she does.  She just doesn't want to be outside.   Anyway, I found the 'failure notice' on the rug in front of my bathroom... barefooted.  I am dying.  Loren has went to bed and asleep (or ignoring me) and I am up sopping up a gallon of urine on a rug that is "L" shaped and way to difficult for me to get out the door by myself. 
     Fez had sympathy for me.  He took charge of the doorway.  He always sleeps with Loren, but he knew I was sick and stayed right by me.  I thought that was so sweet even though it drove the other dogs crazy (and made them bark inside).  When Fez lays in a doorway, there is no passing through.  Once he moved, it was the usual ritual of up and down being door monitor. 
     Being door monitor is not optional.  The choices are simple.  I either get up and run interference past other dogs or they bark continuously.  I have tried ignoring them but after 2 full hours of non-stop barking, whom ever is stuck outside wins.  And it is not just one or 2 or even 3 that are intimidated or intimidating.  It is all of them. 
     It was about midnight when I got everyone settled in to stay.  It is not like I can get all 10 dogs inside at the same time so I can close them in.  Someone is always out on patrol until shift change... or security breach alert.  Critter in the yard. 
     So 3 a.m. I am awake.  (it's now 5 a.m.)  And I made Julia go out.  Closing gates, standing out there freezing, begging. "please go potty, Julia, and we can go back inside".  When finally she goes through the motions, only letting a little out (must save up for inside) and I praise her "Good potty, Good girl", and we go back inside.  She curls up next to the bed and is content.  I'm wide awake.  Sometime you can just will yourself well.  We women have a nurturing instinct that men don't seem to have.  If one of our children (2 legged or 4) need us, we are going to be there.  Anything less then death is not going to keep us from taking care of them.    Back to bed for hopefully some more sleep.
2/5/12:  There are certain things you learn from experience.  Many during childhood, like you don't stick your tongue to freezing metal.  One I didn't learn until old age was: Don't hold paper in your lips if you don't have lip gloss or anything like that on them.   I have had a very sore and very puffy lower lip for several days. The challenge was simple enough.  Standing on a step stool, scotch tape in one hand and a stack of notes I needed to tape up in the other.  I'm not coordinated enough to separate one piece of paper at a time to stick up on the peg board and I had nothing to lay them on so where else would I possible put them except between my lips.  It only took one second to discover that was a very bad decision.  They sucked all the moisture out of my lower lip and then clung for dear life while I tried to peel them off with as little lip loss as possible.   Not little enough.
     Julia is still carrying the hind leg.  About an hour after she gets her pain meds she is almost walking on it, but a few hours later I can tell they 'hit' wore off and she is carrying it again.  She is doing better going out to potty.  I still have to escort her but not all the way.  I can just take her to the second fence and she will go on out and go.  I am slipping on shoes now for these middle of the night outings.  My bedroom slippers are still soaked.  Fuzzy terrycloth does have a tendency to absorb all the available water on the ground.... sort of like paper sucking on your lip. 
    We had an over abundance of eggs last week so I boiled up a dozen for the dogs.  They love them boiled.  I peeled 3 a day and split them between the 14 dogs.  No one got much, just a treat in their food bowl.  They do hide pills good, though.  Another lesson it took 66 years to learn.  If you are going to share your bedroom and especially your bed with a dog,  don't feed her eggs with dinner.  I had 'it' coming at my olfactory system from all directions.  My only escape was to get up and go in the other room for awhile. 
   One more thing, if a dog pees on a 6 x 8 area rug, don't lay it out on the deck when rain is predicted.  It also has the capacity to absorb 10 times it's weight in water.  I did manage to get it over the railing to 'drain' but it may not get dry enough to bring in to steam clean before the next rainfall. 
   Enough lessons for the week. 
2/4/12: It's 3 a.m. and I took Julia out to potty.  Just a drizzle of rain but ground is saturated.  I should have put on shoes and not slippers.  Usually rain is a good thing, but earlier when the thunder was so loud it rattled the windows, even the bravest of dogs took to hiding.  I found Sahara in the bathroom trying to figure out how to hide in the bathtub with Parker.  Julia was shaking so bad she could not even walk.  I've seen a lot of dogs shake, but never with such total fear as she did.  Even Bear was banging to come into our side of the house.  I was so tempted.  I think Bear is ready but I don't think the others are ready to trust him.  I know Goofy sure isn't.  After Bear scared him by going after him, he does the Zelda thing and growls and barks when he passes the sliding door and sees Bear.  Anyway, all is quiet.  Back to bed to snuggle with Sissy and hope Sweetness kept my spot warm.
    Evening:  My poor daughter is the victim of a cyber hate attack.  Some deaf just never grow up.  They have the mentality of a teenager.  Luckily my daughter is not one of those.  She is a responsible adult, wife, mother, grandmother and business woman.  Some of her acquaintances quit maturing in 8th grade.  Anyway, I still want to go kick butt.  She's my daughter!
     I never seem to get as much done as I plan.  I always feel like I am working in slow motion.  It should not take 2 hours to take pix of 17 samples of terrycloth, photoshop them onto a chart and write information.  But that is what it took.  Of course there are always small interruptions.  I think I am totally set as far as charts, instructions, labels, promotional sheets, pricing and physically organizing the collars.  I spent about 2 hours sorting and categorizing by price and size so when I get 'starter' orders, I can just grab and box without having to sort and size and price.   This has also given me perspective what I need to work on.  Too many of some and none of others. 
     My email program crashed again yesterday.  Lost everything in my inbox.  If you are awaiting a reply, please resend.  I know I needed to respond to at least a dozen emails when it crashed.  At least is was only the inbox, sent folder and all my 'saved' files and not the address book.  That is still in tact.  I don't like change.  If it ain't broke, don't 'fix' it.  I could still be living very happily with Windows ME, Outlook Express, Front Page 2003 and Photoshop 2.  But no, I'm Windows 7, Mozilla (because it is suppose to be simple), still holding onto FP 2003 but have to transfer before I upload and using Photoshop PS something, almost newest.  "Latest, greatest" is not a true statement for me and technology.  Give me old and dependable and made in the USA.  
2/3/12:  Don't have a clue where the past 3 days went.  Sure know I didn't sleep through them.  Maybe just sleep walked through them.  Short term memory is almost shot.  Trouble is, when you don't remember 5 minutes ago, how can it make an imprint on your mind to remember later, thus no long term memory, Right? 
    Julia hurt her leg yesterday.  Into the vet for x-rays today.  Nothing showed up.  She is definitely hurting.  Now if it were Zelda or Sweetness, they are really good at faking it for sympathy. 
     The change in medicine for Sissy from over a month ago is sure working.  She can walk the full distance with the other dogs.  I use to only walk her half way.  And she barrels around the house jumping on the bed and mattresses and leaping like a puppy sometimes.  Maybe the medicine has some happy pill narcotic in it.  Maybe I should try it.  It is for humans and came from Wal-Mart pharmacy.  Anyway, I am so glad she is so perky.  Several months ago I was sure she would not make it to her 10th birthday this April 1, but now I think she may make it to Birthday 12, which is really old for an ASD. 
     Got a call from Linda at Green Forest.  A black lab, Lincoln, that has been there for almost a year just got adopted.  If we had not gotten the numbers reduced 2 months ago, and kept them reduced, he would have died.  I know there is a miracle out there for every dog, but sometimes they just show up too late.  I'm so glad Lincolns miracle made it in time. 
     The 2 border collies at AC here both had good adopter prospects but they are still there.  Such nice and great looking dogs so really a shame.   I met them both for a guy who was going to come get one.  Guess he changed his mind.  Really sad. 
     Jericho and Shylo really want to be part of the 'family'.  They won't eat now until I sit down on their beds and pet them for 5 minutes.  Not so bad yesterday, but today was so cold.  At least the tarps kept the beds dry.  I was concerned since there is a gap at the top.  Luckily the rain must have been falling in the opposite direction.  There is no way to seal the gap, at least that I can think of. 
   Well, Julia is at my feet.  At least her rear end is, and she is smelling up the room.  I think I will vacate.
1/30/12:  The weather was like spring!  Gorgeous.  The dogs have really been enjoying it.   Me too.  Snow is predicted for the weekend so I want to savor every minute of this.  But the wind just kicked up this evening and Sissy is bound and determined to bark it into submission.
     I spent the day cleaning the shop.  Every muscle aches.  Most of them do all the time anyway, but I added a few to the list today.  I re-arranged all the collar stuff and moved several rolls of carpet to the basement.  I have some beautiful purple commercial carpet never unrolled.  I was not sure how much was on there.  26 feet!!!  My room in the shop is 30 x 30 so it made a nice center area where I work.  Only bad thing is it shows every little speck of  anything.  I brought Julia down with me because she is pottying in the house all day when I am not there to run interference for her to get past the other dogs to go outside.  She thought I rolled it out just for her.  Anyway, I still have to figure out where to put a roll of padding that is 12' long and about 20' on the roll.  Weighs about 100 pounds.  Loren and I together could not move it.  We worked together on the same end and got it onto the work table a little at a time.  I had lowered the table to about 18" off the floor (it is on a hydraulic lift) so we didn't have to lift too high.  The table is back at work height but I have this huge roll of pad in the way and not a clue how or where to move it.  I suppose common sense would have been to put it under the carpet.  Too late now. 
     While I was in the process of all this, Julia got past me and out the door.  That was another un-needed event.  I really thought she would come when called.  Yah, right!  We left the doors open and eventually she came back inside.  And took a nap...
     Right now she is out in the garage.  I took her out to go potty (yes, she does need an escort past the others) and she made a turn and that was it.  I tried coaxing her out, but I guess she feels safe in there.  Before I go to bed I will take a leash out and bring her in.  She sleeps beside my bed and I think it is important we keep that ritual even tough it is only been a ritual for 2 nights.  She has had enough loss in her life in the past 2 weeks; her owner, her canine friend Bonnie and then her new canine friend Millie all gone.  She is probably pretty insecure and confused.  I'm her only constant that is left that does not scare her so I need to be here for her. 
1/29/12: Yesterday was busy and so was today.  I'm ready for a nap but it's after 3 and Sahara will start her dinner time notice in half an hour.
     Millie went home with a really nice couple yesterday afternoon.  Before nightfall, she hit the door a runnen'.  We went out to help look this morning.  Heard her very unique vocal but with the wind blowing, I think it impeded us getting her to respond to our call.  Anyway, just got a call that she returned exhausted!  Maybe this will turn out to be a good thing.  They are the kind of people who will welcome her back with love and treats.   Then she will always know it is good to come "home" when they call.  No traffic or bad neighbor concerns, but there are bear, cougars and wild boar so I'm sure if she ever encounters one, her traveling days will be over.   Fez terrified her and he just wanted to be friends, so I'm sure she is not going to hang around if a bear approaches.  She will never want to step foot out of her peoples sight.
    Brought Julia up and that has been a difficult transition.  They all intimidate her so I have had messes to clean up.  She is just afraid to go past ANY of them.   No one is being mean or threatening to her, she is just nervous.  Maybe it's a hound/ Pyrenees thing??   Anyway they are all closed outside right now.  I am hoping she will realize they will not hurt her. 
    We worked in the shop for awhile.  I'm re-arranging and finally cleaning.  With dogs in there 24/7 I have not made much effort.  I'm ready now to really clean.  Mopping in sections and mostly trying to figure out what to do with all the carpet from that endeavor.  Some of it's plenty big to re-carpet the one bedroom but moving the furniture out is such a pain.  Anyway, we have just way too much stuff and some we just aren't going to give away.   Need to sell it. 
    I let Bear in for awhile.  It has been way too long.  He is asleep by me feet.  He gets to sleep half the night with me and I pet him while I watch a movie before I go to sleep.   It's still not in the main part of the house.  He just looks so eager to come in and join the pack.   But I am just too afraid.  Breaking up 12 dogs all averaging 100 pounds is not in my capabilities or my range of insanities. 
1/28/12 Barely:  I wish Goofy would use the doggie door.  Parker was in the kitchen in his usual spot and Goofy won't come in without an escort.  If it's Zelda or Sahara, then the other girls bark to get me up because they won't come in without an escort.  None of them fight (Bear is on the other side) so no reason they need my guard escort service.  They are all sleeping so quietly.  I'll just lay awake for hours now.  If I go to the shop, they will wake up Loren.  I am their goat AND their guardian.  I think we have roll issues. 
1/27/12: Called the Pyr info into the radio station this morning and within a few hours they were on their way back home.  Lovely people.  Amazingly these were goat dogs, but the people had enough sense to spay them and socialize them.  
    I was glad to get Penny back in her yard and Sarge was actually happy to go back with her. 
    Another really nice man came and met Millie.  Meeting 2 honest to goodness dog loving people in one day was really great.  Anyway, he will talk it over with his wife and call me tomorrow.  I would love this for Millie.  She is such a sweet girl and it makes me feel so bad she is scared of Fez. 
    I needed twist ties for packaging the collars.  I raided every box of trash bags I could find.  Loren went on eBay and found a bunch.  they are expensive.  Over a penny each.  But then I found some for a little over 2 cents each and had to have them!!! Paw prints!!!  It will look so cool sending out the collars with the paw print tie.  If I had found any way cheaper then a penny each, I would have just went with plain, but if I had to spend that much, I might as well get something really cool.
     We are going to pick up a sheet of pegboard tomorrow.  I re-arranged part of the shop.  Trying to get things where it is easy access.  I wish I had a place to put all the carpet rolls and the rugs I made.  I loved making them but when the gas prices went so high, so did shipping and it was more to ship then the asking price.  So the endeavor flopped.  If I could ever get all the excess stuff moved, I'd roll some of it out over the tile.  If Millie gets a home, Julia will come to the house.  Then no dogs living in the shop and the carpet would stay reasonably nice. 
1/26/12:  It was so cold today.  I got chilled and like to never warmed up.  But this evening was nicer then the day time.  Friend was going down the road and found 2 Pyrs.  They are here.  Obviously someone will be looking for them.  They are in really good shape aside from burrs and smelling like they rolled in horse manure.  And friendly!!  They did not want me to leave and of course they are forever indebted to me for getting the burrs out.  One had 6 clustered in the hind foot and could not put the foot down.  I spent about an hour with the flash light pulling the burrs out and they were so appreciative.  I had to put Sarge in the shop and Penny in the house.   Already had to clean up 2 puddles.  Either they scared the pee out of her or Parker was protesting her presence and he did it.  She is always submissive the first day.  An equal the second and on day 3 she has taken over!!  
    Sadly, we believe the goat dog we spent most of Saturday trying to catch got shot by the neighbor.  That will weigh heavy on me tonight.  If I had not seen it. Had not look in it's eyes and had it look in mine, I would not be so emotional.  He was trying to trust me but he had a job to do, to protect his goat.  I guess he was protecting their chickens too because this morning all the chickens were dead.  Something had killed them.  The neighbor should be held financially accountable for the loss.  The dog did not go on his property.   The neighbors dogs came on theirs.
     I've been up since 3.  Got my sleep out and figured why lay in bed.  Of course as soon as I left the house for the shop they all made a loud protest and woke Loren up.  It would have been pointless to go back to the house then.  Anyway, I got a lot done.  The sample collars are ready to send with the swatches and all the promo stuff.  I need to find that business card for the store in Springfield.  I don't know where I put it.  Probably in a pocket that went through the wash.  Guess I could look on line.  I do remember the managers name.  There is still a tad of memory cells left up there... but I still have not remembered where or found that dozen big bottles of Glucosamine Chondroident I "put up". 
1/25/12:  I know I need to 'let it go', but that adoption 'donation' was a slap in the face.  I took over an almost full $10 bag of dog food the dog had 2 meals out of and a partial box of Heartguard and enough frontline and Advantix to cover 6 months AND I didn't get my new lead back. So I am out about $85 above the shortfall on the grooming.  I'm just working so damn hard to make some money only to have someone take advantage.  I hate to be a hard ass on adoption fees, but the rescue can't survive.  I value every single donation, no matter how small but those donations should not be benefitting cheapskates who don't want to give a fair amount to adopt a dog.  Those donations need to be for dog food and special needs vetting.  Normal vetting and 'special' grooming and stuff that comes with the dog should be covered by the adopter. 
    I'm just stressed and scared.  Adopter/ dog friends are dying and Loren won't go to the doctor.  Things come in threes.  Marilyn died just before Christmas and Clyde a week ago.  Dogs Trevor and Gigi died recently.  Maybe the thirds, I just don't know about...yet...or maybe they are to come. 
    I need to figure out how to raise about $5000 - $6000 for Jericho's knee surgery and re-hab, if he is a candidate.  It would be cruel to deprive him of a pain free life because lack of money stood in the way.  Or to amputate a leg that CAN be fixed.  Or to euthanize him.  He is only 5 years old and most of that life has not been happy.  It is obvious from the knee x-rays he has suffered a very long time.  It is heart wrenching to watch him walk across the yard to find a place to poop.  And then the agony on his face when he tries to squat on a leg that will not bend.  Or to watch him try to pee and almost tip over.  The bad leg won't 'hike' so he has to put his weight on it.  I hold his food bowl even though Loren made him a great elevated bowl holder.  He is so wobbly I have to move the bowl as he wobbles to keep his balance and moves trying to find the right place and the right position.  The yard is not level so that adds to the problem.  Just slightly on a decline but necessary for rain runoff.  Building it up under the carport would only create an insurmountable step which would make his potty trips that much more difficult.  And he can't bend to use a doggie door.  He needs one custom made 3' high and 2' wide with only the slightest step at the bottom.  He's not my Keeton, but he needs me right now as much as Keeton once did. 
  Evening:  Poured rain all day.  The rain on the shop with the metal roof is so loud.  Poor Millie was so scared.  She kept running outside so I finally just closed her in.  I've been with her most of he day.  I wish so much I could bring her up to the house, but I am so afraid she will go over the fence again and not be so lucky getting home. 
     We did go out briefly.  There is a hardware store closing in a few days.  Loren bought me a 3 sided revolving rack to hang collars on.  I was running out of room.  I was able to make it 6' tall so I can utilize all the surface space above dog hair level. 
     I need to remember to 'look' at Shylo tomorrow.  It is a dumb name for a male and I noticed on the paperwork it said female, but at the vets when she called, she said 2 males.  I never gave it a second thought.  Groomer didn't correct me when I said male.  So maybe?  Would not be the first time someone got the sex mixed up on a dog. 
    There is another dumped Pyr in Georgia.  I should probably see if Perry is making a run that way.  She is old and in pretty bad shape.  Their euthanasia rate there is horrific and their animal control intake of Pyrenees is way more then any other area I know of.   I get at least one notice a week of one who only has days and sometimes just hours for a rescue.  But where would I put it and how can I afford another mouth to feed let alone vet bills out the kazoo.
    Off to bed.  I'll cuddle with Bear and Sweetness.  Then Bear leaves somewhere between midnight and 2  then I open the door for Sissy and she takes his place.  Parker is probably already in the bathtub. 
1/24/12:  Updating the memorial page.  It brings such sadness AND such doubt.  The doubt is with the dogs that "I" had to make the decisions with.  Could I have done better?  Tried harder?  Researched for more opinions?  Holding life in our hands is such a big responsibility.  We say so often how it makes no sense that we are considered compassionate when we 'let the dog go' to relieve it's suffering, yet we are inhumane when we wish the same for humans we love.  But maybe I understand.  The difference is those questions.  Those same questions.  For the general population, they are more daunting when a human life is involved.  We would beat ourselves up harder and longer with those questions.  Those same questions.   
Afternoon:    My patience is wearing thin.  Not with dogs, but with people.  Two idiots in one day is too much.  I got screwed over on a dog.  The donation didn’t even cover the grooming that I am paying for that they requested.  I was just paying for a bath, but they wanted a clip.  Then there is a person who I have been trying to help find a dog.  She does not have a computer and does not understand them.  I have found so many great ones but they are never ‘quite right.  Well, she called this afternoon wanting to know what I knew about a certain breed.  This puppy she is going to BUY from a PUPPY MILL is nothing like what she had me spend hours looking for.  She wanted an adult of a different breed.  She knows nothing about dog personalities.  She thinks if it is a certain color and coat length, it will have the same personality of her dog that died.  I am NOT kidding.  Nice lady, but the brain is just not working.  Neither in mine today.
    Loren got up just long enough to go with me to pick up my doggie door that was at Clydes and to get the adoption agreement signed for Bonnie.  He is back in bed again.  He refuses to go to the doctor. I think maybe his medication needs changed or adjusted.  It looks like a pharmacy in his medicine cabinet.   
    Jericho and Shylo did not want to eat.  They just wanted me to pet them.  They are such loving dogs.  I found there is knee replacement for dogs.  I sent the link to Rob.
1/23/12:  Got the order finished and boxed.  Dropped off some ear solution to Janice on my way to get some dog food for the expensive eaters.  Paid the vet bill.  Went to the grocery store.  Got home around 3.  The house dogs did win out and got fed first.  I had not eaten anything all day, so had a sandwich.  I would have probably passed out before getting the other dogs fed if I hadn't put me before them.  Sometimes you just got to get your priorities straight.  Wonder if they smelled the sandwich and were disappointed at being last? 
    I got a very sad call this evening.  The adopters of Gigi had their house burn down day after Christmas.  A total loss.  Gigi and 2 other of their dogs died in the fire.  Gigi's human almost died too.  She has 2nd and 3rd degree burns all over her body.  The house just literally exploded and blew her outside into the yard.  My heart really goes out to them.   They are living in a friends camp trailer while the insurance company plays games over the claim.  They got a dog from the local humane society to keep them company.  To realize how a life can change in the blink of an eye.  Sasha's mom learning she had stage 4 cancer and within weeks, she was gone.  Clyde knowing he was dying, but reality did not set in until he got into the hospital.  Having ones house blow up while you are feeding your dogs.  The tornado that devastated Alabama today.  We walk that fine line of uncertainty every day.  In way we have to expect tomorrow and plan for it, but yet we need to prepare incase, for us, it does not come.  God be with CJ and Catherine as they put their lives back together.  Rest in peace sweet Gigi
1/22/12:  Spent the better part of yesterday afternoon trying to catch a goat dog that had no intention of being caught.  Poor thing is just doing his job.  He does not realize if he is not moved, he is in danger of being shot by a neighbor.  Heart breaks for him.
    Penny is getting an attitude after just 2 days up at the house.  She growled and snapped at Chipi last night out of jealousy.  She had run of the house yesterday while I was gone and Loren was in the shop.  When we both came back, she was the only one inside.  This is totally not normal.  Fez and Sissy prefer in and Goofy is usually in during the day.  I may have to set up a crate for when we are away or when she pulls her jealousy crap.  She needs a dog with her energy level. 
    I got a few hours sleep.  It is not quite 3:00 a.m.  I was awakened (I say 'woke up' even if it is bad grammar)  about midnight.  Penny was outside barking at Sissy.  GRRRR!  Goofy needed in also.  Penny is curled up sound asleep two feet from me right now.  Anyway, I have been cleaning my desk.  I have several things I have put off and have lost my contact notes.  I have a work number for the man that has Sherman, but lost the home number and the address.  As I was going through all my stack of notes, I entered what I understood in my email address book, saved a few that I may someday remember what they involved and threw away half a trash basket full.  Checking those twice and retrieving a few.  I've thrown away important stuff before that I never did find, even after dumpster diving.  I'm tired.  My brain is tired.  I feel so overwhelmed with all the things that need done, things I have neglected.  I seem to accomplish nothing.  I need a volunteer to do data entry.  I need a volunteer to do dog adoption follow ups.  I lay in bed after being woke up (I like that phrase best) and wonder about certain dogs that I have not heard about in some time.  If even one ended up rehomed and not with good people, I would be devastated.  Not knowing takes it's toll on me.  And I need to follow up on Bonnie.  That was my intention yesterday before the goat dog dilemma. I have 4 emails and 4 callers wanting to adopt her so I don't need some guy who can't decide after 4 days!  Wrong kind of people in my book.
    Hopefully I can get back to sleep for a few hours.  More then hope, once I get up in the real morning (this is still night) I can finish the collar order and those swatch charts.  I do not have a clue the best way to make the charts so the fabric can be laid over the different colors of terrycloth.   Plus my printer ink will not be here until Tuesday.  Totally screws me up.  Staples commercials about printer ink LIE!!  They do not carry for this new printer and the part for the old one just doubled in price.  Twenty inks and no printer for them. 
  Night time:  Evening's done past.  One very long and hellish day.  Was considering taking on another dog.  The perfect 'look' and sounds to be a perfect girl but the morning went south and I realized I just could not handle another dog in the house. 
    Jericho and Shylo will not go in the heated dog house.  I could not even coax them in with food or sitting on the floor with the door wide open.  No point in them being in that yard if they are not going to utilize the dog house and heat.   I decided to put them back in their original yard.  They seem to like it best.  Rather then moving the one bed that I so creatively created shelter for through hours of freezing labor and darkness setting in, I decided it was easier to leave the bed there and make another one.  Moving them went well. 
    Then I decided I would put Sarge back in the shop since Penny was in the house.  He got really grumpy at Julia.  So I decided to bring Julia to the house.  She got so excited while I was slipping the lead over her head, her head came up and gave me a fat lip.  It still feels swollen. NEVER open the door with dog in tow and 4 other dogs on the other side.  I lost hold of the handle when Julia backed up.  Fez, Goofy, Penny and Sissy all ran out.  Fez was easy.  He came back.  Penny was not bad to catch.  Sissy took a walk.  Her arthritis slowed her down.  But Goofy was gone!  Cutting across the field and through thickets and on to other roads.  Totally ignoring my pleading then commanding to come back.  Loren got the car out and went looking.  I had a breakfast cake in the oven.  Ran back to the house to turn it off.  The only thing that went right at that moment.  Loren finally got back with Goofy.  In the mean time, I had decided this was not a good plan.  I put Sarge back in the dog house yard.  Moved Penny down there with him and put Julia back in the shop with Millie. 
    About 1:00 we went back to the house to make lunch.  There is one sure way to vacate the dogs from the house instantly.  Set off the smoke detectors.  It works wonders.  Not a one remained behind as, like idiots, we began waving away smoke.  Loren grabbed the dust pan and I grabbed a feather duster and we are waving them like crazy to no avail.  Turned up the ceiling fans but they were still screeching like hyenas in heat.  Then sanity returned and I grabbed a chair and Loren took them off the ceiling and I took them into the other room.  DUH!  His toast was charcoal.  My beacon was close.  I need to mention the beacon is a separate incident.  Loren turned my beacon off thinking it was the culprit while the toast continued to smolder.  Anyway, after the detectors became quiet, I turned the beacon pan back on, got sidetracked and whallah, extra crispy, soot colored beacon.  Since it was the end of the package and I was really wanting a beacon sandwich, I ate it anyway.  Loren put some more toast in and stood over it like a guard.  Now, 6 hours later, the house still smells like burnt toast and beacon. 
    Between all the chaos, I did work in the shop a few hours.  I figured out how I would do the swatch charts for the collars.  I have way too many choices.  But by eliminating just one color or one fabric, I knock out maybe a dozen different designs... and I love the creativity and individuality.  It will be my un-doing.  Anyway, I have got to get the order boxed tomorrow but know it will not ship until Tuesday.  Too time consuming to make just one chart so I will spend several hours assembly-lining them and making a bunch. 
   Now it is time for a hot soak in the tub... and then crawl into fur lined sheets.
1/20/12:  I worked on collars all morning until 2:00  I figured when Loren keeled over from starvation, he'd complain :-)  After food, I was going to do some more but decided I really needed to shuffle dogs.  Fed them and then moved them.
     I put Sarge in the shop with the hounds. Neither them nor he was thrilled, but so be it.  Millie and Julia have really made friends with Bonnie gone.  They run and play and wrestle.  It makes me feel so good to watch them have so much fun.  I moved Penny to the house.  As long as I keep certain doors closed and all shoes out of reach, all should be fine.  She is curled up on the bed with Loren sleeping. 
    I moved Jericho and Shylo to the big yard with the heated dog house.  This morning when I went to feed they were shivering.  Pyrs should not shiver.  I knew it was just too cold for them even with all the tarps and quilts.  Anyway, Jericho learned 'out' on the doggie door but I could not coax him to go in.  Shylo wanted nothing to do with the room.  I tried for about 20 minutes, even sitting on the floor in there with Jericho's head in my lap and the door open letting all the heat out.  Shylo would not even look in. 
    There is a lean-to next to the dog house and a big thicket of cedar on the other side of the fence which makes for a great wind break.  I decided to enclose that area with tarps and move one of the beds under there.  Of course the lean-to is only 6'4" and the bed is 6' 7".  I draped a tarp over the top, put a board on it and screwed it all down.  Then did the same with the backside.  It is pretty secure, I hope.  It got dark just as I was finishing up.  Shylo was investigating it.  Jericho was laying out under the carport watching.  Then as soon as I left, they started crying!  Why do they do that?  Made me feel so bad.  They will get a lot more attention down there because I will have a warm place to sit with them.  I'm sure Shylo will decide the dog house is a good place in a few days.  In the meantime he has his lean-to UNLESS Jericho decides to take it over.  would be just my luck. 
1/19/12:  A really good day.  I got an order for 30 collars.  Millie and Julia are going to be seeing a lot of me the next few days! 
    Jericho has all of a sudden become comfortable and happy.  He completely trusts me now.  I can reach out to pet him without having to practically crawl to approach him.  I can stand up straight and reach out over his head to pet him.  He almost smiles when he gets on his new bed.  Did I mention we made a second one as they both would not fit on the one.  They trade around and are happy doing so.  They don't even pull the quilts on the ground.  they actually leave them nicely folded under them on the beds.  Maybe they could give Penny lessons in good manners and good housekeeping.  Loren made him an elevated bowl holder.  He thought about it yesterday.  When I gave up and put the bowl on the rug, he laid down to eat.   Tonight he ate from his elevated bowl.  They have both very quickly stolen my heart. 
    Bear is on my bed waiting for me to join him.  I'm ready. 
1/18/12:  Bonnie may have a local home.  Things will be easier.  I may try Penny at the house again.  She just needs an attitude adjustment.  I'll put Sarge back in the shop with Millie.  I am sure he and Julia will be fine.  I need to get Julia into the house, but I can't put Penny in the shop because she made a disaster last time using my expensive cones of thread as chew toys.  There ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough, ain't no river wide enough to keep her from getting my stuff.  Bet if you are old enough, the tune is running through your head:-)
    Just printing up my pamphlets and ran out of one ink.  Went to replace it and discovered only 3 of the inks are the right ones.  Loren ordered all 8 colors and 5 of them are for a similar but different printer.  They won't fit.  Not his fault because they come as a 'set' and 3 are correct, but of course not the color I need.  It will take a week as Staples or Wal-mart do not carry it.   Crap!  Time to buy the part for the old one.  I have way more value of ink for it then what the part will cost. 
     Well, since I  am not waiting for the printer to finish... which it did... but not from being done,  I guess I will just go to bed.
1/17/12:  Jericho had x-rays this morning.  He has a good solid spine and hips, but his right knee is a mess.  Obviously an old injury that was never taken care of.  Terrible arthritis in it.  He can't bend it.  That is why he has such a hard time squatting.  Try it.  Even with humans, you got to bend the knees.  They don't have knee replacement for dogs, just 'elbow' repair like when Sahara dislocated her elbow.  Anyway, he is just 5 years old.  He looked so old before he was cleaned up.  Plus the way her walks.  But he is not old after all. 
     We make another bed this afternoon.  Jericho had taken over the one intended for him so needed to make one for Shylo.  They are very happy each to have a soft place to stretch out.  I picked up a quilt at the thrift store after we got some lunch.  Pizza buffet day.  The quilt is not as fluffy as the other but went to 3 thrift stores before I even found one worth buying. 
    Met the nicest people today.  They have a doggie motel and day spa down in Little Rock.  Don't know how they heard about me but have been following my blog for some time.   He took Fez for a walk and loved the collars so bought the ones I had done up and a few other dog items.  The money was sure needed.  
     Fez met Jericho and Shylo.  It was very friendly.  Never sure when dogs have claimed a space, but if I bring them up, I won't have to worry about Fez not accepting them.  Zelda would probably have a fit.  She thinks the house is way over crowded with white already. 
1/16/12:  I had the most pleasant surprise this morning.  Jericho was sleeping on the new bed we made.  I was so glad!  He and Shylo got groomed this morning.  I stayed and helped because they came in special for me.  They are usually closed on Mondays.  Shylo was pretty easy so he got done while we were picking up Jericho.  That was an experience.  Jericho is getting much more friendly and trusting.  He also got a bit bossy to Shylo when they were put back in the yard.  A real turn around in position.  They may not have even recognized each other since they both smelled so nice! 
     Loren went to bed right after helping me get the dogs home this morning.  He did not have a good night.  Not the dogs, just feeling lousy. 
    Just before I left a man came in looking for a small dog to adopt.  I am crossing my fingers he will come look at Bonnie.  She is just annoying to me.  I don't care for bouncy little dogs.  Give me a 125 pound drooling lap dog any day.
    I did toy retrieval this morning.  Found 7 and all still squeaked!!!  They got a wash and dry and then Fez got to pick 3.  The others went in the cupboard.  
    It is so windy.  I wanted to secure another tarp but I don't think I can handle it alone.  If I hung on too tight, I'd probably become air borne.  I am not fond of wind.  How I ended up in a state with tornadoes is beyond me.  At least it is not freezing. Actually it is quite warm. 
     I mustered up the energy to give Zelda and Goofy a walk but was not up to additional trips.  I could have taken Sahara and Parker as I can handle those 4, but getting them in and keeping Fez from breaking down the door is too much to handle alone.  We could walk tomorrow but Jericho has a vet appointment at 9:45.  That means starting to load him at 9:15 for a 5 minute trip. 
    He just does not fit in the back seat.  I made a small bench to set on the floor to make it almost level with the seat.  Luckily I found boards close to the right size so didn't have to cut into anything big.  Covered it with carpet and then put a blanket on top.  Hope it works.  Hope when he gets in he does not go all the way across as it is only behind the drivers side.  I needed foot space for me in the back seat with him and don't really want my chin resting on my knees even if it is only a 5 minute drive. 
    Feeding time and they are letting me know. 
1/15/12:  Talked to Janice yesterday about Jericho.  Actually both dogs.  She has a neat calf hut and wanted to know where she got it.  I figured it might work for Jericho.  He is not going to go inside of anything easily so thought the openness might be ok.  They have to be ordered.  Anyway, she gave me some great info on what to do for the 2.  I was headed in the right direction, but had not thought about some of the stuff she said.  Anyway, I made a trip to the health food store for them yesterday.  Glad they like hot dogs because they sure won't eat a lot of other stuff I try for pill consumption.  Hot dogs and that kind of crap are always my last resort.  Anyway, I decided to put them both on grain free.  That is going to suck up $100 a month over the other dog food cost.  I just need to make Shylo healthy and make Jericho comfortable.  It is the best I can hope for with his age and condition.  My nerves are shot.  I have an appointment on Monday for them both to be groomed.   I will stay there with Jericho.  He is so physically fragile and too insecure to experience more strangers without a familiar face.  I worry he might struggle and hurt himself.  Those legs and hips are just scary bad.  Then Jericho sees Rob (the vet) on Tuesday.  I think he was on vacation the entire time and did not examine the dogs.  (Which he would not have done anyway for dogs that are just there for boarding).  I just want to hug Jericho but he is not ready to let me. 
    Back to bed.  Started this at 2:30 a.m.  Got up at midnight.  Dogs are quiet.  Just nerves woke me up.  Sissy will start missing me soon and bark and get everyone going so need to crawl back in bed beside her before she notices I've been gone. 
  Evening:  It's 4 p.m.  That's evening when you are thinking about going to bed.   I fed the non-house dogs about an hour ago because my back is killing me.  Too much bending, lifting and cleaning.  Anyway, because the house dogs saw me go out with food, they have been demanding fed for an hour.  First Sissy came and tried to climb in my lap.  That hurt!   Then when she was unsuccessful at getting me to feed, it was Sahara's turn.  She barks and then just stared at me.  Intently.  As if to send me a message via ESP.  Then it was Chipi's turn to try.  She rested her head on my arm very heavily.  She has a small chin, but she can sure make it weigh a lot. 
      Before I crash, I need to do the squeaky toy retrieval.  There is only one left in the house and it is among the dead.  I suspect most of those outside are also. 
     Fez just began his demand, very loudly.  They win.
1/14/12:  I am saddened that the dogs trust fund is "missing."   The last real conversation I had with Clyde was about the money for the dogs.  He had pulled it out of savings several months ago when I found the home for Bindy.  He knew he was dying.   Each of the 3 dogs had a cash 'trust fund'.  He gave me Bindy's and I have doled it out according to his wishes.  For Julia and Bonnie it was cash in the envelope with the dogs papers.  The final conversation about it was the day before he went into the hospital where they stuck him on morphine and took away his functionality.  He trusted his neighbor with the house keys.  There was no money in the dogs paperwork envelope when the neighbor handed it to me Tuesday.  Now in looking back, he said "this is all that was in here" (the envelope).  It never clicked.  I had not mentioned where the money was suppose to be, just that it is was set aside and that it was there in the house.  When I called today to get my doggie door I had lent Clyde, the neighbor was very rude, said I would have to take up anything with the daughters, but was not forthcoming with how I can reach them.  I guess the hospital or Hospice would have their information.  I at least want to send a card.  He talked about them a lot.  Intimate feelings I doubt he shared with anyone else.  I think they would like to know how much he loved them and why he moved so far away from them.
     Loren helped me make Shylo and Jericho a bed.  We used a bi-fold closet door as the base, put it on some 2 x 4's so it would stay dry off the ground, covered it with carpet and then put a big fluffy comforter on top.  It was mostly intended for Jericho but he is not ready to go near it.  He is really unsure of everything.  Shylo took to laying on it shortly after I set on it and showed him it was to lay on.  Hopefully Jericho will use it.  It was so simple and I have plenty of those doors. I may make another one tomorrow.  It is big enough for 2 dogs but they never lay together.  And Shylo kind of makes the decisions for them both.  I also put up a tarp in the corner where I put the bed.  It would get rained on if I had not.  Only disadvantage is now I can't see from my window if either one is using it.  I do have 2 tall windows I could secure to the fence in place of the tarp so I could see, but I need to think on it first. 
    Having Bonnie, Julia and Millie together is a bit stressful.  Especially at feeding time.  Clyde free fed Bonnie and Julia.  I think Bonnie survived on 'treats'.  I had to go buy a 'small dog' bag of food.  She could not eat what was provided.  She really struggled.  She likes what I got but so do the others.  Millie thinks I am starving her to death anyway.  Julia is catching on real fast that you eat twice a day, not all day.  Bonnie just runs in circles barking when I put her food down.  She won't eat in the crate where her food is safe from being stolen by the others.  I really don't have time to sit for 30 minutes while she decides she wants one bite, then runs in circles again.  I could crate Millie to eat but that is not fair.  She'd finish and be in there for hours before Bonnie finished.  It is not like Bonnie missing a meal is going to starve her.  She needs to lose about 20% of her weight.  Maybe more.  She should weigh about 13 to 14 pounds.  She is near 17 pounds. 
    Bonnie and Julia have taken over Millie's favorite window spot.  I feel so bad for Millie.  There is enough room for all 3, but she just won't go up there when Bonnie is there.  If I could move my work table, I could move the carpet rolls out of the way and build 3 "window seats" but the table is on a car lift and it ain't going anywhere, not even a few inches. 
    I wish I knew how to correct Fez from jumping on the glass doors.  He only does it when we are on the other side so it is hard to stop him.  He is going to come crashing through one of these days.  I need to gather his toys up again and give them all a squeaker transplant.  He has not torn them out, just squeaks them to death.   Several are out in the yard, but just can't find them.  He loves the brown ones best.  Of course they are the hardest to find out on the brown ground.   I may make him one like I made for Penny which ended up being Bonnies.  I just took some heavy upholstery fabric, cut it in the shape of a clover and put a squeaky in each petal and 2 webbing 'tails'  hanging from the bottom.  Stuffed it lightly with old terrycloth.  Light weight and squeaks easily but durable. 
1/13/12: Always messes up a day if I have something to do, but have to sit around waiting to know when.  The dog food distributor meets me in Gainesville in the middle of his route.  Until he is into his run, he does not know what time he will be at the meeting place.  It is an hour drive and he calls when he is an hour away so we have to be ready to hop in the SUV and take off.  From 11:00 a.m. on it means staying off the phone,  not leaving the house together, not even walking to the shop at the same time.  I could only get 20 bags this time. 
     When we got home from getting the dog food, I called Hospice.  I wanted to go and visit Clyde.  I wanted to tell him about the dogs and that they had settled in and about Bonnie playing with the squeaky toy.  I knew it would cheer him up.  Something told me to call first.  He had died while we were on our way to Gainesville.  I guess he knows now without me having to tell him.  I knew but one never knows when.  I really wanted to be there to hold his hand.  He needed it.  Everyone needs it.  Someone who is not a stranger to hold your hand in those final moments before you move on.
     Nothing really got accomplished other then the food run.  
1/12/12:  Jericho and Shylo (weird name for a male) are so sweet.  Shylo, the smaller one, is a bit too commanding over Jericho.  I have to run interference when they eat or Jericho will get backed off.  Not an aggressive thing, just herds him as if he were the goat instead of his elder and twice his size.  They did not get much of my attention today as it snowed and never got above freezing.  I did spend several hours on their well being.  They will not go in the dog houses and Jericho is usually laying out in an uncovered area.  I can't make them go where they don't want to so I had to protect them but tarping the area.   I put up about 100 feet of tarp on the fence.  It didn't even cover half, but ran out of both tarps and daylight.  The wind kept switching directions on me.   I analyzed where it was coming from and tarped that side first.  Before I was even half way done, the wind came from the exact opposite direction, blowing through the yard and pushing the tarp out.  I finished that side and moved across and started tarping the other side.  Got half way done and wind comes from a third direction.  The house blocks the fourth side.  Anyway, I got all of the north side done.  Half of the east side and half of the south side.  I came up about 40 feet short on the south east corner.  I know there are more tarps around here, but it was dark, I was numb and was just not up to looking for them.  They are sheltered good if the stay to the north west where the dog houses and carport is.  Hopefully they will. 
    I have been up since 4.  I woke up and got to worrying about Bonnie, the little dog.  What if she went through the doggie door and could not gat back inside and was freezing.  So I bundled up and went to check.  Her and Julia were sound asleep curled up next to each other.  I tried to get bonnie to come out on leash and then I'd put her in the yard to potty but it did not go as planned.  However, there was no puddles or piles.  When I finally gave up and headed back to the house, I saw Julia hold open the doggie door for her to go through and hold it open for her to go back in.  It was so precious.  And worrying about those little legs overcoming the step.  HA!  She had no trouble jumping into the rocking chair I have in the shop, nor any problem stealing Millie's favorite resting place on top of several rolls of carpet and some blankets.  I will not be going down and checking on her tonight. 
    I moved Millie back into the shop with them.  Millie is not sure of them yet.  Julia wants to be friends but Millie is timid and unsure.  Poor Sarge is still with Penny but he won't let her push him around like Penny does to Millie.  I was afraid Penny would not let Millie into the dog house and she would freeze.  Millie is happy in the shop even though uncomfortable with the new residents.
    I actually got a lot done today.  I sewed for several hours.  My back can attest to it.   Cleaned floors.  Six loads of laundry... Five and a half.  The last load is ready for the dryer but the dog dishes are all stacked drying over the washer lid and I don't have the energy to move them.  Since I misplaced several bowls yesterday and found them this evening, there are 21 bowls there.
    Oh, I almost forgot.  I get 'herded' a lot around here, but this morning was really weird.  First it was Parker.  Everywhere I would try to step, he would block me.  When something else caught his attention and I escaped, Fez took over.  Fez does a body block, literally pushing me where he thinks I should go.  This was 4 a.m. and dark so my memory is a bit fuzzy.  One of the 2 decided to circle me.  Round and round and round.  It was making me dizzy watching.  Why I can't remember which one is beyond me.  I just know it happened... Maybe I am ready for the nut house after all.
1/11/12:  If I am not transported off to the nut house, it will be a miracle.  My emotions are over the edge as is my dog population.  How did I go from 12 to 16 in just hours?  At least Sherman didn't come and the female Pyr person never emailed back. 
    I spent the morning with Clyde.  He was 'in and out'.  I wish I could have stayed longer.  They moved him to Hospice House this evening but I didn't get a chance to go again to see him.  Tomorrow morning if I get any sleep.  I picked up Julia and 'Bonnie' the little Shih Tzu (sp) and it was almost dark by the time I got them settled into the shop.  Poor Millie and Sarge don't understand being in the yard with Penny all night.  It breaks my heart they can't all be in here, but the little dog would not fare well and it does not understand the doggie door.  I don't need 'stuff' between my toes in the middle of the night.  Anyway, situating new dogs in at night is not good.  They need comfort and people and a sense of security, not just put in a room and left.  I did leave the lights on in the shop.  I just hope the little one does not figure out how to get out the doggie door and not how to get back in.  I didn't even get ID tags on them yet. 
   Now for the rest of the adventure.  I got 2 male Pyrs.  Unsure of the story, but they ended up at my vets office.  They just asked if I knew anyone looking to adopt, but of course, I had to go meet them.  They are a mess.  My heart broke for the condition they are in.  The vet is taking care of current health issues since they are now rescued.   Shiloh is a delicate muzzled male.  He weighs 71 pounds but is a walking skeleton.  He should weigh close to 100.   He is very affectionate.   Walks on leash fine.  He loaded into the car fine but I got a drool bath on the ride home.  I was in the back seat with him and he laid his head in my lap.  When I got out, it looked like I had had an accident.  My pants were soaked.  Got him settled in and went back for Jericho.  Ended up having to get one of the office girls to come out and help get him into the car.  He was going to have nothing of it!  He is not fond of the leash either.  Finally got him in.  He was way too big to fit all of him on the seat.  I hung onto him as best as I could on the ride home.  One of the longest 5 mile trips I've had in awhile.
    Jericho is huge! He is as tall as Goofy.  He weighed 141 pounds.  He is also just a skeleton.   He needs to put on 30 pounds.  I took about 5 pounds off of him with the scissors.  His tail was so matted, he could not lift it.  His butt is also full of poop.  I did what I could.  I didn't want to stress him out his first hours here.  Once he realized I was helping him. he laid down on the ground and let me 'go to work' on him.  I think we are bonding.  There is just something about cutting poop out of mats that either endures you to a dog or makes you throw up.  We will do more 'bonding' tomorrow as I work on another 5 pounds of mats.  He was recently shaved.  Probably last spring.  Makes me crazy.  A lot of good it does.  That is part of the reason he is such a matted mess.  The coat grows back like cotton.  All you get is undercoat.  The outer repellent coat does not come back.  He looks just like Keeton in almost every way.  Keeton was always cotton.   Lastly, I think he is much older then the 5 years they were told.  He is HW+ and I think he has sever back and hip problems.  I am hoping some of his inability to walk normal and total inability to squat to poop are partially from matted hair pulling under his legs.  Honestly, it's just a prayer; not much chance of reality.  Anyway, he will just stay here, know he is loved and we will make him as comfortable as possible.  
    I do not regret saying yes to any of the dogs that came today.  Actually, very rarely do I regret saying yes when it is my decision and I know they are destined to be here until adopted.   I'll just give as much love as I can as long as I can... it's just hauling the water that stands in the way of serenity... oh, and the barking!
10 minutes to 1/11/12:  Watching the clock tick into a new day.  My friend is dying.  He has known for some time, but he thought he had a few months left.  He won't make it to the weekend.  I will be picking up the dogs tomorrow.  It is going to be very hard on them.  Julia knows me, but I don't even know the little dogs name.  I wish they could go to the hospital and tell him goodbye.  He is so doped up on morphine, he probably would not know, but he might.  But I know the hospital would not even consider it.  When I die it is going to be at home.  Period.  Unless by freak accident.   Too many people I know are dying.  We get old and so do the people we know. 
     I talked to my grandson for a long time tonight.  He was at my moms.  He has learning disabilities and adult ADD.  He has always struggled, but the medical world... well, he can't get help without money or insurance.  He has never been able to hold a job long enough to get on insurance and it would probably not cover that anyway since it was originally diagnosed when he was in kindergarten.   My heart breaks for him, but I don't have a way to help. 
    People don't understand what they don't personally experience.  It is an "I can so why can't you" world.  And then we get old and we are the "I can'ts."  I use to be short with my mom because she could not lift her arm.  Now I not only understand, I get to experience it.  As I have said several times in blogs long past, I believe we get a chance to right all our wrongs.  To understand all the not understoods in our life.  To overcome our sins of omission.  And to forgive... but only of ignorance, not evil. 
1/10/12:  1 stolen dog.  1 fried squirrel.  1 tree through the fence.  1 rain storm.  2 soaked dogs and 1 wet human.  So how was your day? 
    Sherman never made it here.  Long story short, a lot of misinformation was passed around thanks to the jackass at the nursing home.   An employee who quit took Sherman with because he thought he was going to be euthanized if sent back here.  He sounds like a really nice person and given the information he was given, I'd have done the same thing.   As of this moment, it looks like Sherman has a home.
     Millie was just shaking from the rain on the metal roof on the shop.   I brought her to the house.  She peed on the floor.  I let her out to go potty and had to follow her all around the 2 acres... in the pouring rain.  I should have grabbed an umbrella, but I didn't know I was going to be on a 20 minute journey.  On our travels I found an electrocuted squirrel hanging from the fence.  The hot wire is just a mild dog type, but obviously a bit too much for a squirrel who chomps down on it with it's teeth.   It has been there long enough to be stiff.  I knocked it loose with some branches and did manage to get it on the outside of the fence before I had any help eliminating it from the yard.   There was also a large branch through the fence so obviously the squirrel came first before the branch fell.  Or maybe the squirrel just rode it down and grabbed hold of the wire as a life line.  Bad choice.
     I am so afraid Millie will get out and get cold and hurt.  I tried her in with Penny.  Millie would not go in the big dog house.  Penny is soaked too.  She has a carport and the big dog house and a heater and blankets but she is out in the rain!  I ended up putting Millie back in the shop. Opened all the doors to all the rooms so she can go in the office where it is very quiet.  Put a blanket in there for her.  At least she will have a choice if she gets scared.  Penny destroys stuff so she can't be in the shop unattended and I don't want to crate her.  Millie and Penny are currently having a long distance gab fest.  I am not going out in the rain again.  They both had their chance.
     Parker briefly came out of the bath tub.  I imagine he is back.   I hope he is in Loren's and not mine as that is where I am headed to get out of these soaked clothes and warm up.
1/9/12:  Zelda whizzed right by Fez this morning and took his new squeaky toy he just got last night.  After I fed, I traced her path and then zig zagged.  She has one heck of a good hiding place as there are several missing and I cannot find them.  Most of the missing are brown, but one is a bright red parrot so you would think it would be easy to find, even on 2 acres.
    Sissy had some bad dreams last night so it woke me up several times.  Not just the noise, but wiggling her body and taking over my piece of the bed.  I usually sleep good with her up against me, but butt in my face is not one of those positions, especially when the legs are going out towards my stomach.  A good massage before I rolled over calmed her.
     Not heard anything on Sherman.  They canceled Friday and was suppose to call me today to bring him either today or tomorrow.  I just have an uncomfortable feeling.  
    I got pix yesterday of Tucker at his new home.  It looks and sounds like everything is going great.  I am so happy for him.  His health really turned around the past 2 weeks.   Gained 7 pounds, stopped limping and became less clingy.
    I worked on collars for the past 2 days.  Loren is working on his HO train track.  It is nice we are at the shop together and in adjoining rooms.  Sarge, Millie and Penny travel back and forth for attention.  I really wish I could bring them all back to the house, but Fez will scare Millie and she will go over the fence.  Penny will be growly to anyone who gets too close when she wants attention plus she may get into things she is not suppose to have, like a chair leg or blanket or my slippers.  Sarge would probably settle in, but he is the balance for Millie.   And Penny has ruined her chances of being in the shop without supervision. 
      It is going to be really hard as the weather gets colder.  It is heartbreaking to have 2 huge yards that I cannot use when it freezes because I can't carry water.  Dogs I can't save even though I have the room.   Isn't there someone out there who knows how to write grants???  It would not do death row dogs much good right now, but it would sure help me save a whole lot more year round if I had money for more dog food, vet bills and hired help in the winter.
1/6/12:  the guy bringing Sherman back got sick so it will be sometime early in the week. Mixed emotions.  I really want him away from a place he is not wanted, even if it is only unwanted by 1% of the place.  My guys need 100%.  I'm just sad he has to go through another home.  Counting twice here, he has been uprooted at least 7 times since he was a pup all in less then 4 years time. 
     As best as I can remember, the 'wake up' call was around 5:45 this morning.  Sahara is on summer time schedule.  She is suppose to crow at dawn, not a good hour earlier.  They all went 'off' about a half hour later.  Goofy really does need voice lessons.  If this were an old time theater, he would have tomatoes thrown at him.  Chipi, on the other hand, would shame any wolf.  Loud, high pitched and vibrates down your spine.  Sahara, you just want to pat her back and dislodge what ever it is caught in her throat making that weird baritone sound.
     Had a small riot this morning.  Had to get Tucker to the groomers and everyone thought it was time for a walk when I got the leash.  I should have known better.  I should have snuck him off in the family room or gotten the others outside.   Sissy and Fez went at it.  Luckily Loren was still in the house.  I'd pull Sissy off and Fez would come back at her and vs. versa.  Got Sissy into the bedroom and opened the door to Bears room so she would not be confined.  She is leery of Bear but they never have issues... knock on wood.   Anyway, Tucker looks so great.  I'll get the 'Fresh Groomed' pix up tomorrow afternoon.  Tomorrow morning we are meeting his adopters half way.  That will allow a longer settling in time before bedtime.  I was looking forward to cuddling up with him tonight beings it is his last night here (I do it every night anyway, but this was important).  But only Fez and Sweetness are in the house.  It is 8:p.m. and all the others are outside enjoying this fantastic weather. 
     I am hoping to try Penny back in the house full time.  It is going to take a lot of work.  I bring her up and within a few minutes she is snarky to somebody.  She knows who she can push around and who she doesn't even dare.  She was never like this before and never destructive before other then my slippers.   She has just not been the same since Mazi left.   I think some dogs do form a bond and just flat love each other and never get over a grieving process.  She doesn't know that her friend is living just a few miles away. 
     It is very strange when I bring Penny into the shop with Millie and Sarge.  Penny cowers and acts all submissive.  But she and Millie have a good time for awhile.  Then Penny goes off and lays down and just watches me.  There is a definite communication going on but I have not figured it out. 
1/4/12:  Took the day off...sort of.  Went to Springfield.  I wanted to go to the fabric store and see what bargains I could find for the collars.  I got some great stuff.  While we were stopping at another store, there was a privately owned Pet shop so I stopped in.  I had a collar and brochures with.  When I went in I gave the spiel.  The lady said she was not the one I would need to talk to and I'd have to make an appointments and come back.  Then I laid the collar on the counter.  She went and got the manager!  Instant sale.  I'll be bringing up a bunch in a few weeks and she will be selecting and buying.   She wanted an exclusive for Springfield and I said fine.  When I take up a bunch in a few weeks, on the way home I will find the privately owned one in Branson and in Harrison so the trip will not be for just the one store.  I can't afford the gas for just one store.  What I like about this is I can make any design I want.  I won't be stuck to certain patterns and colors.  I will still do the orders for the Chicago stores.  That was one reason to purchase the fabrics, so I can offer certain ones continually.  Can't send to hand pick that far away. 
    Poor Penny was alone all day.  I hated that.  I did leave her with a tuffy toy to destroy.  I will try to give her time tomorrow.  Only thing I have for tomorrow is Mariah getting groomed and Tucker getting his stitches out.  Those 2 things should eat up from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. as Mariah is about 18 miles from me so about a 40 mile loop from my house to hers to the groomer to home.  Then repeat in reverse when she's done.  
    Tucker was so funny this morning.  He has really gotten into the Squeaky toy thing.  He is not tearing them up.  He is just squeaking them.  It is as if he wants to out do Fez in the music department.  This morning I knew it was him in the living room because of the frequency of the squeaks.  I could hear him heading to my bedroom.  It was a squeak squeak squeak, then several half squeaks.  Then full squeaks.  He was carrying it squeaking it, then he'd drop it and push it with his foot as if to see if it were still alive.  Then step on it several times.  Then back in his mouth, squeak the life out of it, then back on the floor for resuscitation.  I tried to watch as quietly as I could because he had not noticed I was awake.  I finally just burst out laughing.  He got so excited, he grabbed the toy, threw it and the top half of himself on the bed and nuzzled his muzzle into my neck.  He stayed that way for several minutes until Sissy demanded attention and I was kind of trapped.  Sissy can sometimes be unpredictable so I bailed.  I did not wanted trapped under the covers if she decided to get jealous. 
1/3/12:  All is so quiet.  Too quiet.  It is 2:42 a.m.   Guess I got a good rest but will head back to bed when my stomach settles down.  Everything I've eaten in the past several days, except donuts, has not wanted to cooperate within my digestive system.  It's not the flu.  Probably just a massive ulcer.
     Mariah aka Gracie was picked up from her visit last night.  She will get to start coming into their house again.   I have enough concern over the ones I have lost contact about without knowing one is not getting to be inside.  I feel everything will be just fine now.
     I was going to board an ASD for a friend so spent the freezing afternoon securing the fence.  Fortunately it was for nothing.  Plans have changed.  I was so worried she would get out and try to make the 25 or so mile trip back to her home. 
     Sasha's mommy passed away Dec. 13.  She was diagnosed with cancer just a few months ago.  I just learned of her passing when I emailed to find out how she was doing.  Even though  I'd only met her once many years ago when she adopted Sasha, we communicated a lot over the years and I really feel like I have lost a wonderful friend.  Sasha will stay with her husband.
     I am also very concerned about another adopter.  He has known he was very sick for some time but they finally diagnosed it as cancer.  He is 80.  Julia and his little dog will come here.  The little dog is young so I can find it a good home.  Julia will just stay here if it is determined it is in her best interest. She might be overwhelmed by so many dogs, but then she might blend in just fine.
    Sherman is still an unknown.  I figured I'd let the holidays get past before I called to see what is going on.  I hate to uproot him, but I don't want him where he is not wanted by someone who could mess him up.  Some people are just mean and the man I had communicated with is just that.  Just one drop of poison in a glass of a hundred drops of water can destroy a life. 
    Hopefully sun up will bring a smile and some laughter as Fez squeaks and Goofy bounds and a pack of white dogs surrounds me for their morning attention and a beg for breakfast.
Sun up:   Hardly a laughing matter.  I put Penny in the shop with Millie and Sarge last night.   I spent about an hour putting everything out of reach and covered and locked up.  She can get into things.  Well, I was not as thorough as I thought.  I was near hysteria and not from laughter.  I won't go into details, but if she could reach it, she got it.  Have you ever seen a 6000 yard (1 pound) cone of thread used as a chew toy?  How about 3 of them?  Retail $28.99 each.  You don't exactly roll it off and rewind it.  Four sewing machine needles for my new machine are still missing.  Loren took the magnet thing he has and went over the floor but they were not found.  Two others had been broke in half.  A good indicator we may end up with an emergency.  I just can't consider x-rays right at this moment.  I am still too off balance from the mess. 
     After I finally calmed down a bit, I let Penny out of the crate I had put her in while I cleaned up.  Then Penny chased Millie off her favorite window seat.  I have blankets up on some rolled up carpet so Millie likes to lay on them and get warm in the sun. 
    Then I get a call from the Sherman guy.  Someone will be bringing Sherman back Thursday or Friday.  I would have offered to meet part way, but my schedule is totally full both days. 
    Loren went and got me donuts.  The only thing my stomach can handle.  I brought Penny with back up to the house.  She just needs to have humans.  She needs someone to be her very own.  She was so good until Mazi left.  They were so bonded.  She was great with Mariah/Gracie for the week.  I don't know exactly what all she needs but she is obviously not getting it here. 
    Irene is still with her adoptive family in Colorado.  I have been afraid to email.  It was pretty uncertain last time.  It sounds like they have went the extra steps to get her to accept the other dogs in her 'domain'.   What a relief. 
    Tucker will leave for his forever home on Saturday.  I am so happy for him.  I feel really good about this family.  She impressed me with her willingness to learn and immediately picked up on what I was showing her about behavior correction.  I think she is on the right track to being the boss over him. 
1/2/12:  Fez thinks every time we come home from somewhere we should have a new toy for him.  I had several in the cabinet so he got a new one yesterday.  The squeaker is a different tone.  More a raspy sound.  He does not seem to want to kill it, just squeak it into submission.  He is in his usual prone bear rug  position right now with it between his paw and head.  He was pulling at it's ear and I told him not to dismember it, just squeak it.  Guess I hurt his feelings.  A few days ago I gave him an ostrich with rope legs.  I'm not sure if he amputated on it or Tucker did.  But the squeaker is still working. 
    It is so cold this morning.  I didn't get much sleep last night.  Sarge was on a bark-a-thon with Bear so noise from both directions.   They are really enjoying the onset of cool weather.  I just dread the thunderstorms I am sure we will get.  Rain is good.  Thunder is not. 
Happy New Year:  A little distant commotion at midnight.  Don't think it had an affect on the dogs as they are out there barking, drowning out any other noises that might be going on.
     Sewed collars yesterday.  I had been doing the terry cloth base for a week and decided I was not having fun.  Creativity is what drives me and makes me happy so that is how I spent a good part of yesterday.  Putting 'tops' on the collars.  It took me some stitch pulling out to get back in the groove.  It sucks being a perfectionist who is far from perfect... at anything. 
     Put one of the new, pretty collars on Fez this morning for a photo shoot.  I needed to get more brochures printed and wanted to add the collars.  He was not the best choice but he was the only one inside.  If I were to have called in another, they all would have come and all would have seen the collar and expected a walk.  So Fez is the poster boy with a yellow and tan collar.  Anything darker then pink or yellow and it would be lost in all that black hair.  It was almost covered up anyway.
    Tucker did meet his new potential future human and canine friend on Friday.  It had a bit of a rough start as Tucker thought Angela was here just for him.  Once I moved a few dogs in and shuffled a few around and let them in the back yard to play, they got along fine and had a great time. 
     This morning I was half awake and kept telling Sweetness to 'leave me alone'.  Then I realized she was by my feet.  I was in the center of the bed, yet Tucker had no trouble keeping his hind feet on the floor and still reaching me with his head to get attention.  He is one long dog.   I talked with Cindy, Jane aka Bella's mom and she is doing great.  I was concerned she might have a health issues since Tucker did, but no signs of anything.