|12/31: All ready to snuggle in.
Hope no fireworks or gun shots at midnight. Fez, Hanna
and Jake take up most of the room. I have the wild
bunch closed inside. Leslie, Patty, Pumpkin and
Freedom are in a heap beside my bed. Cotton, Sahara,
Gracie Lynn and Chipi are across the room on mattresses. I
opened the other bedroom door for Parker just incase of
scary noises, he can get in the tub. Cola is on her
toddler bed in the dog room. Sprite, Zelda and Goofy
are in the livingroom on beds.
|12/27: Patty apparently
got bitten by a Brown Recluse. I am really worried
about her. On Antibiotics and other stuff. Tim's
mom died from a Brown Recluse bite. Don't know how it
compares in dogs. She really feels bad.
She came up to me early this morning. It was
still dark with just the night lights on. I thought I
was petting Zelda. No collar. But the coat
didn't feel right. When I turned on the light, I
realized it was either Patty or Pumpkin. Checked the
collar on the other one so knew I had Patty. To come
to me for help like that was nothing short of a miracle.
I am so worried about her. I can't lose another dog
this soon after Nomor and Angel. These guys are
just beginning to trust and know love.
I have heard nothing on Layla. Not even gotten
the adoption agreement which was supposedly mailed
with a donation on the 15th. I realize things can be
delayed with the Christmas mail. Hoping I will see
something in todays' mail. I don't need a big
disappointment. I have a hard enough time trusting
My executor said my trust leaves some open areas
that I need to address. I am not sure what I need to
add. Emailed the lawyer. It is so hard to cover
every conceivable scenario when it could be tomorrow or 20
years from now. I just want my sanctuary dogs to stay
here until they die of old age or incurable disease.
That is what it says, but he is concerned who would be
willing to stay here if Tim is not around. Hell, how
am I suppose to know. I may outlive everybody on my
list. I understand the concern, but just don't need
the stressor right now.
is here. He is the 12 year old Pyr whose owner was elderly
and in ill health. Poor guy has not had any human contact in
8 years beyond food set outside!!! Aside from throwing up
once in Gails crate and 3 times in mine, we had a good trip
home. He has settled right in with Nauna. He is not quite
ready to be loved on but I suspect within a few days he will
be ready. then the grooming will gently start. He is a mess,
but nothing like Nauna.
Nauna had to be under anesthesia to get the mats
off and out of her ears and off her muzzle. Got a long ways
to go with the rest of her. And to those of you who say,
"Oh, I always wanted a Komondor. I love the dreadlocks",
please feel free to come over and work on her coat. Bet you
will have a change of mind.
|12/20: It's just after
midnight. I went to bed at 6:00 p.m. Jake nestled in my
back, Fez at my feet. Hanna in my arms. No one to lay across
the pillows with his head resting on my neck. I really
missed that fuzzy weight keeping me warm and safe. And
Angels empty mattress on the floor at the side of the bed.
But I slept hard those few hours. Comfort in knowing Nomor
and Angel were not hurting anymore. Comfort in knowing
Freedom is beside my bed for the third night in a row.
Comfort in the quiet. The quiet that comes with the pack
knowing someone is missing. None were bonded with Nomor or
Angel. They all got along, but no specific "you are my best
friend". So no one is really grieving but me. The quiet is
probably because they know my heart is aching. It is
amazing. It was that same quiet when Sweetness passed. They
know my heart. They know my needs when it really matters
|12/19: Traumatic week.
Layla went on transport last night to her new home in NH.
Levi leaves with Dave to get to his forever home in NC.
Angel and Nomor went to their final resting place at 11:00
today. Rest in Peace my precious fur kids. I
already miss you both so much. Nauna came Tuesday and
Monty will be coming Sunday. Jack and Jill (they will
be renamed) will come the Sunday after Christmas while
Lakota will go home with Candy day after Christmas.
Somehow I managed to gain one? Who knows. I sure
All this has put my stress level on high alert.
Grooming, getting health certificates, saying goodbye and
saying hello. Gas leak. $200 to fix.
Nauna is at the vets under anesthesia to remove mats
from her ears and muzzle. No way could I have gotten
them out or even clipped off. She was so tender she
threatened to bite.
New dog food was delivered.
But on a happy note, Tim and I have gotten Freedom into
my bedroom. He has slept beside my bed for the past 2
nights. Probably too petrified to move, but he is
learning he will not be hurt and that it is a safe place to
|12/17: Freedom is in the
bedroom! It was a challenge. He was/is the most feral.
Freezing rain so no way was I going to let him stay outside.
He was all by himself up on the hill getting soaked. There
is shelter, but he was not taking it. Now he is closed in my
room with 8 others. Not sure if he is relaxing or frozen
with fear. So many heartbreakers and I love them all so
|12/16: Nauna came. What a
total love. The place she was at was total
'Deliverance'. Acres of junk. Two little girls
so dirty it looked like you could scrape dirt off them.
It was during school hours and we were right behind a school
bus that stopped just before their road so I know these
girls were not enrolled in school and off the grid.
Their dresses were so filthy, they could have stood on their
|12/12: Tim's sister and
boyfriend have been staying with him for several days so I
put them to work. More people, more electricity, more
toilet flushes which go into a holding tank, not septic so
it adds up. They were good sports and really
nice young people. Got the stuffing from quilts and
squeaky toys off the hill and my floors mopped. It was
great. I had 3 hours to work on catching up on paper
work. Discovered all kinds of missing stuff. I
didn't even have an envelope for Hawk. Everyone gets a
9x11 envelope with their pix on it and all vet records
inside. Don't know how I missed him. I'm just so
overwhelmed that I can't think. I still need to get
some thank yous out for some donations. I have about
40 microchips I need to go online and register. They
were issued to me so if someone calls, they would get to me,
but better if I have the dogs name attached so I know who to
contact. Going through 400+ numbers could take some
Fez had his surgery Tuesday. Spirit had hers
yesterday. Picked her up today. Took Hawk in as
he needed chipped and rabies and HW test. I have never
had a dog deliberately pee on the car seat before!!!
He peed going and peed coming home. I gave him plenty
of opportunity before loading him up both times. Maybe
he was just nervous. I cleaned up the going. Tim
cleaned up the coming home.
The feral bunch will not let Freedom into the house.
I opened his gate and he really is getting brave. He
wants to come in but Patty and Pumpkin block his way and
really bark mean to him. Once Levi is gone, I may swap
dogs around and put one with Fraz and one with Emo.
Hate to remove them from the house as we are making
progress, but their actions are just wrong. They are
fine together on the hill and on the ramp. It is just
going through that door way. It is Freedoms time
to be inside. He does not need someone telling him no.
|12/8: Pepsi is with her
new mommy. I've not gotten a report yet but I'm sure
they are busy bonding. Fez goes in for surgery on his
ear tomorrow (unexpected) and Spirit IS pregnant!! I
suspected. I've had her 2 weeks and they said 3 weeks
along. She goes in on Wednesday to have them aborted
and her spayed. With a fractured pelvis, having
puppies in not an option. I am on total meltdown.
I don't think I can handle another negative, even with all
the wonderful positives of great adopters. I'm going
to go take a hot bath and maybe just have a good cry.
|12/4: We all agree our life is
controlled by our dogs. We walk them in the rain. We make
2 trips to town; one so they get a ride and the second (they
stay home) for the shopping or appointments. We cover the
furniture with old blankets so they can lay on it. Our end
tables lack knick-knacks because their tails might send them
flying. We keep the counters cleared because of counter
surfers. We cook for them. We sleep in awkward positions on
the bed so they have plenty of comfort room. We clean up
after them when they get old and incontinent. We take them
to the vet at the slightest sign of illness or lameness, yet
we don’t have time (or money) to go to the doctor ourselves
when we are sick. Our lives revolve around our dogs as much
as (and sometimes more then) it did our children.
But then there is the unwilling control we sometimes
face. Thus enters Sprite. A feral, fear aggressive goat
dog. He is smart. Scary smart. First night he dug out of
his yard and into the house yard. No way was he going to
let me near him to put him back. He joined the house pack
without incident. Second night, he slept by the door on the
deck. No way was he going to allow me to move him. Third
day, he let himself into the house after watching the other
dogs use the doggie door. No way was he going to be coaxed
or leashed to go back outside. I cleaned up a lot of piles
and puddles that day. He has progressed to coming and going
through the doggie door so no more cleaning up after him.
He has decided on his eating place. It was not the place I
chose. He is a counter surfer. All the dogs pills now have
to be moved into the cabinet. For 3 days in a row, he has
pulled the tablecloth off the dining room table. It is a
catchall so not sure what might be missing. No more
tablecloth. No more temptation. He has decided he likes my
bed!!! He has been gracious enough to share it with me and
the ‘regulars’. Making him get off could mean losing a
finger. His morning, as I was getting up to get dressed, my
bra went flying through the doggie door. ….
But on the good side, he is beginning to trust me. He wants
to be petted but is not quite ready. He sees a dozen or
more dogs lined up for morning pet and hugs and he stands
just out of reach. He will let me brush past him, my leg
just touching his body. He lets me pick up his food bowl
while he is still near. He has been here 2 weeks today. I
call this great progress. Maybe in another week, he will
let me touch him and maybe a week after that, I might get a
collar on him. Then will I get to be in charge again????
|12/1: Nomor was not ready.
I cancelled. He just looked at me differently this
|11/29: Nomor will cross
the Rainbow Bridge Monday afternoon. I am just sick
about it, but he is in so much pain. When I call him
in to eat, it takes everything he has to get up and walk to
20' into the house. You can see the pain in his eyes.
The second front foot has continued to deteriorate.
The meds did nothing to slow the bone degeneration. He
still manages to get up on the bed and sleep with me most
nights. First I lose Sweetness and now Nomor. I
know several others are close behind. This year is not
going to end well and next year will be worse. I need
down in numbers, but this is absolutely not the way. I
want adoptions, not old age and illness.
|11/25: I use to be happy.
I use to be able to think good things above the bad.
If I was down, I could make myself up. I can't do that
anymore. I know why. Because the good is so
little. It is buried and can't breath.
Wisdom, history, current state of the world all play a part
in my depression. Dogs I can't save. Veterans
homeless. Criminals running loose. Illegals
using up our resources. Big business crushing the
small. Government out of control and self serving.
Good people feeling despair. The helpless taken
advantage of. I want that cave where I can go hide
with my dogs, but we have to have water and food.....
|11/21/14: I named her
Spirit2. She will heal, God willing. I'll bring
her home Monday as need to clean up the garage area for her.
She needs rest and no activity for 6 weeks so her broken
pelvis can heal. Then she will have hip surgery.
I named the other one Sprite2. He was very fear aggressive
yesterday but he is on the deck tonight and thinking about
coming in. When I went out to feed him this morning,
he was in the big yard with the house dogs. Had dug
under the fence. Everybody accepted him I think
the house dogs have come to the point of just "Damn, another
one". Lacy come for a week visit tomorrow.
House count will be 18.
|11/20: One of the 3 dogs I
was trying to catch yesterday got hit by a car last night.
I got there this afternoon and picked her up. Broken
pelvis, dislocated hip and severe hip displacia. She
is so sweet. She is in extreme pain without being
doped up on meds. Too many dog here to give her the
quiet calm she needs for rehab for at least a year after 3
surgeries she would need. I am heartbroken. I
will go be with her at the vets tomorrow. She never
even got to come here. She really does not know me but
I think she will feel my love.
|11/18: Midnight and I just
got in from moving dogs after a fight. At least it was
not freezing out there. I am worn out. I was so
asleep. Will take me hours to get back to sleep.
I can't get Gracie Lynn over on this side. She is with
the fearful ones. I don't know what the dynamics is.
I don't know who was in the fight since everyone had
scattered by the time I got out of bed. I know the
fearful ones were the target. I don't know if it was
Nomor, Zelda or Gracie Lynn. Zelda is not going
anywhere. Nomor is in a lot of pain and he is not
going to 'get up' to start a fight. I think poor Jake
(hound) was caught in the middle. He is so scared.
|11/17: Hardly seems like
it has been 11 days since the 'incident'. all has
calmed down and everyone is pretty much getting along.
I did network Gracie Lynn to get her transferred to another
rescue, but nothing was suitable. I won't put her in a
kennel situation. She would go crazy. Most dogs
It snowed and freezing rain the past 2 nights. It is so
cold. Clear but a chilling breeze. I just can't
get myself warm. I still have to feed. This
morning wasn't as bad but the temp has dropped a lot since
this morning. Or else I am just chilled to the bone
and feel colder. Plying human Border Collie is not fun in
this cold and with the slick ground. Got heat in most
of the houses. Have no one in the lower yard because
it is so far away. Best yard of all other then
distance. Dogs really don't seem to care about the
cold but it is important for the non-Pyrs to have a warm
place to go. I feel for all those freezing dogs in
places that do not provide heat. Some don't even have
shelter. My heart breaks.
I have been really thinking about all the homeless.
Especially the veterans. There is an abandoned
apartment complex for sale cheap but the repairs would run
into the hundreds of thousands. If I had the money, I
would buy it and bring in homeless veterans on a charter bus
from anywhere cold. They could do the repairs.
Surely Lowes or Home Depot would donate materials. But
I don't know how to begin and I don't know how to follow
through or organize. Big worry is that the building is
beyond hope. It's said some of the floors have fallen
through from water rot and that some of the apartments were
mini meth labs. Both would pose such a health risk...
but then no more then freezing to death in a doorway.
I get so angry at the cities that have banned feeding the
homeless. People serving food have been arrested.
This country is no longer one to be proud of.
|11/6: Gracie Lynn went after
Cola over some spilt food. I adore Jake, but he is
just underfoot. And that tail! So I have cleared
them out. Took some shuffling. Moved Pepsi and Freedom
back to the far yard next to the big yard. Put Jake and
Louise in the middle yard. Put Gracie Lynn with Wilson
(where Louise had been). Hopefully Gracie Lynn's fence
jumping days are over. When the new dog comes tomorrow (he
does not even have a name!!) I will see how he works
with Thelma who is in the yard under the deck since Mint is
gone. Emo and Fraz took Mint and Thelma's yard.
Thelma went after them and scared them, so she got moved.
So now if you are totally confused... well, so am I.
But after Zelda biting me last night and Fez hiding in the
garage, it had to be time to thin out the house pack.
I still have a Nomor problem but he is in so much pain.
He just has not told me yet that he is ready to go. I
do need to move Pepsi to the house. She is getting wet
and she will get sick. That coat holds water and she
smells bad. I'm worried. Freedom will need
someone. Hopefully another male dog will get adopted
and I will have a female to take her place with Freedom.
|11/5: Chaos never ends.
I was so asleep... the usual evening growling went
beyond. I had no idea who until it was a riot. I
thought it was Pumpkin. I only saw Hanna going after
her. That was totally unbelievable. When I
pulled Hanna back, Pumpkin caught me, full mouth, on the
arm. I grabbed a leash. Pumpkin walked with
me!!! That is when I realized it was ZELDA!!
Zelda was 'clearing her path' and someone must not have
respected that. I was so shocked. I was shocked
to think Pumpkin would take her guarding that far, but she
doe like to act out. She is not aggressive. All
'talk'. So I naturally thought it was her until the
leash. No way would she have allowed a leash on her.
I really didn't realize how badly I was bitten
until the blood kept running down my arm. My night shirt is
long sleeve but thin. I have 2 good size puncture
wounds; one on each side of my arm, just below the elbow.
I think more peroxide went on the floor then on my arm.
Do you know peroxide is a wonderful marble floor cleaner?
I plan to mop the bathroom floor with it in the morning.
Wrapping my left arm with sticky bandage tape is not easy
when I'm left handed. Lots of Neosporin and 2 large
gauze pads and a tangled mess of sticky gauze to hold
everything in place. I should go to Wal-mart and get
more tape but I have enough for morning. Do not feel
like getting dressed.
Zelda is in the family room with Goofy. He wanted
to be in there. I put my robe on and walked them
hoping they can 'hold it' for 8 hours until day light.
I'm sure the fight was an isolated incident, but I don't
need a second episode.
Poor Fez was in the middle. Now he is MIA. Before I go
back to bed, I'll have to go get him out of the garage.
I'm sure that is where he took refuge.
|10/29: Just too old to be on the
floor. Gave up on leaving Jake in a yard and brought
him in the house last night about 10:30. I had given
up going to sleep as someone would not stop barking.
Could not get to sleep so combed on Fez until after
midnight. I struggled to get up off the floor for a
good 10 minutes. Even getting down there is hard
without just flopping. Worked on Goofy for 2 hours
today. He gets poop stuck. Not a pleasant task
but necessary. I didn't get it all off, but the
majority. Cleaned the floors. Then ate lunch.
Fez was on his 'other side' so I took advantage. All I
lack now is the center of his back. He has a skin
problem which I guess I will have to address. Looks
like dandruff. He gets absolutely no fat. May need
fish oil. His coat is really dry and dull. This
food is just not the same as I was feeding last year.
I can see the difference and have for quite a few months.
Got to switch. Just don't know what I can switch to
that won't cost me more then what I am feeding.
|10/28: Another Gracie
Lynn. Jake is over and under fences and into the
house. Hopefully he will stay put tonight. I
would not care for him being in, but I already have 17 in
here and either Sasha or Louise will be the next one to come
in. Trip had to leave and go back with Wilson and
Louise. I just can't be keeping everything out of
I started cleaning house and ended up cleaning the shop.
The pile on the work table was making me crazy.
Hopefully I have everything put where Dillon and Faith will
leave it alone. I put the towels I have for the
collars on the buffet, covered them up and stacked the
ironing board on them and then several boxes. If the
boxes don't scare them, then the ironing board sure will.
Just need to turn on the air compressor long enough to fix
my area rugs so I can get them back up to the house and
clean them. Maybe someday Gracie Lynn will understand
they are not puppy pads and I will be able to put them back
on the floor.
I tried Breeze with Jake but he left her so she is back in
with Lakota. It is a love-hate relationship. He
really enjoys her as long as it is on his terms. She
is very opinionated. Takes after her rescuer :-).
I keep meaning to call Ilse and forget until it is late.
She is an adopter and very dear lady. She bought me
some snuggly bed sheets recently. I feel like I am
wrapped in a cloud. They are not hot if the temp is
hot. But they are toasty warm with the top sheet on if
it is cold. Really strange how I sleep so much better
in them then in cold, crisp sheets or flannel ones.
|10/25: Just when I think
there may be some relief around here, life falls apart.
Neighbor deliberately tried to run into me and Goofy in
front of my house. He is a jackass and always has
been. I meant to look for a shoulder cam at Wal-Mart
today but just had too many other things going. I
definitely plan to get one. Hopefully Dave will help
me find a good one for a reasonable price.
This morning I had more things 'missing'. Seems
Trip likes to get into mischief. My shoes were in the
yard. The collars were on the floor. The food
bag was open again. These things were not on the
floor. Shoes were on my bathroom counter. Other
items on the pool table. After breakfast, I moved him
to the yard with Breeze, Louise, and Wilson. I feel
really bad, but I cannot deprive the other dogs of free run
of the house because of one little stinker.
Cotton is making a habit of coming to me in the morning for loving.
He sees all the other dogs lining up while I TRY to get
dressed. Now he is joining in. I LOVE IT!!
He still gets a bit skittish at times, but they are getting
less and less. On the other hand, Leslie is
regressing. I think she is ultra sensitive to my mood
even though I am careful not to let it show. She just
Nomor has had several bad days. I am getting really
worried. He did not want to come in the house today.
I had to go get him to come eat. I think all his legs
are just giving out. It is breaking my heart. He
feels so left out when the others go for a walk, but he just
can't. I would put him in a cart and wheel him around
if I had the time and strength. I will be helping him
onto the bed tonight, if he wants. I just worry if he
needs down, he will attempt it on his own. He is such
a good boy.
|10/24: Weather was nice
the past few days but for lack of sleep also came lack of
ambition. Decided better do something today. We
enlarge 2 yards by reducing the yard in the front. I
don't want to use it anyway because it is just to far from
water and the other outside dogs yards. Makes it very
complicated to have a dog in there. So now it is just
roughly 30' X 26'. Lakota's yard and the empty yard
next to Wilson, Louise and Breeze both grew. Added
another 120 sq. feet to both. Put Lakota in the empty
yard while we re-did his. He likes his new space so
left him. Amazingly no fence fighting. I was
just not sure. He and Wilson even sniffed through the
fence without a problem. Lakota likes the building.
It is insulated and 8' x 8'. I'll stick a mattress in
there when I feed tonight. I think he will really like
Yesterday I found some brand new collars out in the
yard. I had brought several up for Jill's people to
pick from. I left them in the middle of the pool
table. Trip is to little to have reached up there.
He had to have jumped up there several times to drag tem off
and get into Lacy's food bag. So the door to the
family room is now closed. Today after we finished
fence moving I saw some unfamiliar yard decorations.
My favorite sweatshirt which I had left on a chair and a dog
blanket from the bedroom were out in the yard. Neither
seemed to be harmed. I just put them in the hamper.
Not ready to deal with any holes I might encounter.
Facebook person offered to pick up the Pyr near
Searcy but when I told her to PM me her phone number, she
vanished. That is so typical. People want to
look all helpful publically but they really have no
intention of following through on their offer. I wish
I could just can FB, but it has been a help. Could not
have gotten the Saints to TX without someone on FB who did
follow through. Just a matter of weeding out the self
Looks like the lady who was interested in Freedom realized
she would be in over her head. I really hope she does
come to visit even if not to take a dog home. I think
we would become good friends. Put her, I and Candy
together and we would probably be a blend of the 3 Stooges
and the 3 Musketeers.
Looking forward to the time change. I have always hated
it, but still being dark at 7 a.m. sucks. I much
prefer to start my day at 5 a.m. Oh well, Spring will
come soon enough and the dogs will be waking me up at 4 a.m.
I just wish by spring I'd have someone with less hair to
wake up beside me:-)
|10/20: Jill got adopted
Saturday. The Saints went to Texas rescue Sunday.
I brought Trip into the house Sunday afternoon after Breeze
went under the fence to join Louise and Wilson. It
left Trip alone. He would have been fine in with them,
but he just looks pathetic. He has done fine, but a
bit nervous with so many big dogs. He's so small in
Went into pay my vet bill for Sweetness. I about
choked. Came home and cried. Some on there I
just don't understand. Rob will be gone this week.
I'll pay it when I know it's right. Already was over
charged by $35 because they had her at over 100 pounds and
she wasn't. Just been such a bad month with the heat
pump going out ($5800) and having to pay $2500 property
taxes because the VA can't send the damn disability letter
on Loren. Now with all the vet bills. So far I
have put in $26,000 into the rescue out of pocket. Had
$10,000 in adoption and donations. At least better
then last year. But we still got over 2 months
to go. $4K in food alone. Just so tired but the dogs
just keep coming. I just hope Snow (coming from
Horseshoe Bend) will be good to bring Fraz or Emo out of
their shell. Hoping that Mint gets an adopter who has
applied. It is looking good so far. Just need
more going out then coming in.
|10/17: 3 a.m. 12
more hours with Sweetness before she runs pain free.
Watching her suffer is so hard. She was on the bed
next to me until I fell asleep. Woke up to her on her
bench at the foot of the bed. Always her special spot.
Nomor had taken her place on the bed. Fez must be in
the garage. He is content. It is cool out there.
He can just stay. Sahara is so clingy without being
pushy. I just feel she will be next. They
all.... I love them so much. Each has a special
reason. Sweetness; the lab born in the shelter.
I've been her only home. She has always been so afraid
to leave the house. Never enjoyed a walk. Just
wanted to be 'home'. Sahara; I was her goat. I
was the first human that showed her kindness. It took
years for her to really relax. Zelda; full of
depression. Not sure why. My first PyrKom.
Like Sahara, she has moved to a stage in her life where she
wants affection and attention. So are Chipi and Goofy.
Goofy gets his before sun up walks, but even then I clean up
poop. He tries so hard to make it out the door. He is
so embarrassed. Chipi came and knew this was home.
Adoptions for her failed because she would not stay.
She knew this is where she wanted to be. Parker,
probably the oldest, seems to be doing ok. But he
still looks for Loren to come back. He does not
understand why he has been gone so long. Sleeping
outside his door every night.
9 a.m. Tried to get Sweetness to eat. Roast beef,
ground beef, beef rice, yogurt. All spooned out in
separate piles. Three o'clock is so far away. I
don't want it to come, but I want it to hurry up. She
is so miserable. I keep thinking "maybe I should take
her in and have her blood work done again. Maybe this
is just a 'recovery' period. I know that is not so.
I just want to grasp at everything. I just keep hoping
for a miracle. Four days without eating so much as a
single bite. She has dropped to her 'youth' weight.
I know she has. She looks so lean and young. It
is as if she is moving towards that happy youth that she
will have when she reaches the other side of the Rainbow
Bridge. I've heard of that said about people.
Just before they die, they transform into a youthful
|10/15: 3 a.m.- Don't
know who the barker is but it has been non stop for weeks.
Tim is not sure either. And it could be several taking
8 p.m.: I did get back to sleep but only when it was almost
time to get up. Sweetness cuddled with me. I am
just at a loss what to fix her to eat. She is so
hungry but she won't eat. I did give her a little
kibble tonight. Not sure if she ate it as had to break
up a fight. When I get back, her bowl was empty and
Gracie Lynn was licking her lips.
Have approved adopters. Gail did the home visit. Said
they are fantastic. I have 7 good candidates for them
to choose from. I'm leaning towards 3 particularly,
but will know more once I meet them myself. And who
they favor and who picks them. I wish Sasha was not
HW+. She would be so perfect. I would not want
them to get her and then the treatment kill her. It
could. Anyway, will give Breeze a bath Friday if they
are coming Saturday. Everyone else is clean. She
has been rolling in the mud.
|10/12: Just got back from
tracking down Trip. At least he comes when he's
called.... as long as his adventure is over. He is now
cooling off in his pool. He sticks his head under
water and came up with a big leaf stuck on his nose.
He was looking cross eyed at it. Tried to shake it off
but it was stuck. He finally submerged himself again
and came up without it. He is a Trip!
Dave brought the van by this evening. Took the material off
the seat so I can sew it. It will be almost as good as
new. He got the rear seats out. Got almost all
the mechanical things operating. Still needs door
cables, moldings and the AC checked. He has a
compression tester so hopefully it is just out of Freon.
Tim will go to his place Tuesday and work all day cleaning
it and Daves cars. With a good washing and a wax, it
will look new. Bumpers will need powder coated or
painted. I could get new floor liner but with all the
carpet I have, I may just throw some down and as it gets a
mess, toss and replace. I do need to get wire crates
with side doors. I think I have 2 is all. I can
fit crates on both sides if they have side doors.
Otherwise, only on one side. That would suck. I
have to go pick up the title and get insurance tomorrow.
I also need to call and see if there is any last chance to
have my property taxes waived. All I need is that damn
letter with the Sept 2012 date on it but VA has drug their
feet for over 2 years. I could really use that $2500
that will be gone forever come Tuesday. I just want to
cry. So unfair.
Sweetness did not throw up yet tonight. She threw up
breakfast. I was going to start a stew for her but the
celery was limp. Not sure if carrots are ok.
Knowing what to give her and knowing what won't make her
throw up is hard. The green beans came up and so did
the egg whites from breakfast.
I am tired. I am so glad the Saints are going. I
hope the 2 potential adopters work out. I'm really
crossing my fingers. I so need my numbers down.
The mud is taking it's toll. Tim put in a lot of
gravel, but they race around and it gets scattered. I
just have no ambition. I just want to sleep. I
want to sew but the dogs have made a mess of everything down
in the shop. I will need to wash things as I need
them. No point in washing ahead of time. So many
things I need done and want done, and just can't seem to get
at it. Weather has not cooperated for painting the
outside of the dog houses. When it was nice, I could
not get myself going. The doggie duplex needs
doors. I am brain dead on making them. I know
what seems simple can't be that easy. I know things
are not as square as they need to be so that will make for a
huge problem. I just want someone to come in and
listen to what needs done and do it or see that it gets done
(without costing a fortune).
I start out the morning with such a good attitude and
by the time I am done feeding, I am ready to cry. If I
am not standing guard because I have to go to the bathroom,
someone steals someone elses food. Gracie Lynn is
peeing on a rug. Goofy is having an accident.
Sweetness is throwing up. By the time everything is
cleaned up, I go to feed the feral 5. They run.
Then they come back before I can go out the back to feed the
outside dogs. I can either wait 20 minutes or go out
the front. The front stairs are so steep, I am afraid
I will fall carrying so many bowls. Then, of
course they are in reverse order so I have to work from the
bottom rather then the top. Somebody has always pooped
right in front of a gate. Someone else will race
through poop to greet me and jump with poopie paws on me.
Always potential for escapee, getting a full bowl knocked
out of my hands or raising up to quick with a dog in my face
and bumping my head. Then picking up the bowls starts.
They don't want me to leave. I feel so bad.
There are only a few I can walk because they don't get out
enough. A catch 22. If they walked nice, I could
walk them, but in order to walk nice, they need walked.
I need strong volunteers. Those I have are great for
what they do, but I don't have anyone to leash train 100
pound freight trains.
Everyone is barking. It is dusk. Probably deer.
Maybe an escapee. Breeze is working on another hole.
Tim has gone to work so the hole may get bigger by morning.
I care, but I don't care. Emotionally, I can't care.
I just have to trust God that if she gets out, she will not
get hurt. I'm too tired. He needs to carry
me.... or bring me someone who will.
|10/7: Sweetness went to the vet
yesterday morning because she eats everything. She has been
throwing up for several weeks (occasionally, not daily) and
has the dry heaves sometimes. She had a piece of blanket in
her stomach. That was removed. That is the good news. While
looking around at her organs, nothing was right. Blood work
confirmed. Every level was 2 to 4 times normal. Kidney,
liver, pancreas, and one other thing. My mind kind of shut
down. She is dying. He said
...she needs to be
put to sleep. She is on fluids there tonight. I will pick
her up tomorrow and bring her home. She will sleep on the
bed with me one or 2 last times. She will be here, at home,
in my arms when we say good bye. She is a lab. They are
suppose to live to be 16. She is only 11. She is my longest
resident, coming in 2005. Competing with 6500 other black
labs for a home, it just ended up that this was to be her
I picked up two 6 yr old Saints today. Rose and
SandyAnn. 42 pounds and should be 100.
|10/6: My daughters
birthday and my son's daughters BD. Last week was my
son's and his sons and on the weekend it was my son's
daughters BD. Quite buying gifts a long time ago.
Sweetness in for x-rays and possible surgery. Nothing
goes right when the routine is interrupted. Had to
re-feed the feral 5 because Nomor was hiding on their side
of the gate. I suspect he ate way more then he should
Last night was a real bonding time with Patty.
She got herself cornered in my bedroom so I took full
advantage. Got the mat scissors and comb and spent
over 2 hours on the floor cleaning her up. Hard to
believe she was at the groomers about 2 months ago.
That Komondor / Pyr coat is always a mess. It had
woven on her butt and she stunk of urine and some dried
poop. She ended up using my foot as a pillow.
I was and still am thrilled she became so relaxed. I
was even able to flip her over and do both sides. When
I did, she relaxed against my chest. Another very
awkward position since I had nothing to rest my back
against. But I hung in there as long as I could.
I was not comfortable but I was not about to move it.
It is all cleaned up now. Anyway, we bonded. I really
need to get to the others more then every 6 months, but it
This morning she actually let me come up to her and pet
her!!! That is amazing. And Cotton did too.
Cotton does on rare occasions, but very rare.
Leslie lets me approach her when she is inside but only
sometimes when she is outside. Cola, only when she is
inside on her toddler bed. She still turns her head
and won't make eye contact. Pumpkin is getting there
but not quite yet. Don't know how I will ever let them
go. Like with Sahara almost 7 years ago. She was
not near as feral but when she began to trust, that was it.
She had to stay. I'm really headed towards sanctuary
dogs. Getting really great adopters is getting harder
and harder. Maybe my standards are just too high, but
with some of these dogs, like the feral ones, there is one
in a million chance that they would bond again.
|9/29: Barely slept.
Too many sick and hurting dogs. Zelda is really
worrying me. That ear should have just had a needle in
it and drained. I know it was the new vet. I
hate getting a new person because they mark every damn
little box and it costs a fortune. I'll take Wilson in
first for his neuter and then ask who saw Zelda. If it
is any of the 3 new ones, the surgery is off unless Rob says
it is needed. I do not want her under anesthesia
Jill arrived. Sweet dog. A little dog timid.
She may come in the house, or down with Levi and Layla.
I really don't need 17 in the house. She needs spayed.
Nomor is not neutered. That could be a problem too.
Got enough vet expenses without neutering a dog that may
only live a few more months.
I just need someone to hold me and love my dogs a little.
No one will love them as much as I do, but as long as they
love dogs in general as much as I do, we'd be ok. I
just need a shoulder to lean on and cry on.
|9/27: Lucy and Moses got
adopted. Great people, but then if they weren't, they
wouldn't have them.
Dread this week. I might as well just move into the vet's
office. Zelda had an emergency. Her ear flap was all puffed
up. It was not like that 2 days ago when I brushed her out.
Had Tim rush her in just minutes before they closed at noon.
She is now scheduled for surgery Monday morning. Wilson is
also scheduled, his for neuter. Not quite sure how I'll
manage since Tim does not get in from work until 8:30 a.m.
Then Wed for Fez'z ears and Thursday for Goofy's ears. I
bring them both on Wed. if Tim can take one. Putting 2 dogs
in the back seat totaling just under 300 pounds just will
not work. Can't wait until my new / old van is totally ready
to go. Chipi seems to have done something to her back so
I'll slip her into the Thursday appointment if I get Goofy
and Fez together. Gracie Lynn is going to need an allergy
panel run. UGH! Poor thing can't stop itching and it's not
fleas. Got 3 that will need HW treatment. Just too many dogs
all needing something
|9/22: 3 trips to the vet.
Louise and Thelma got chipped. Louise is 101 pounds!!!
And she is only 16 months old. Thelma is a petite 85.
Wilson got all his pre-stuff done. They estimate 10
months. He is 84 pounds. He is going to be a
very big boy.
Big day tomorrow. Freedom gets neutered and dental.
I really dread it. He will be so terrified. Have
a plastic crate clean and ready. Hopefully he will run
in it to hide from us so we can lift him and it into the car
in the morning. No way do we move just the dog.
He throws himself on the ground and rolls and thrashes.
Makes you want to cry that any animal can be that scared.
9/22 FB: Wasp in the house... 10
minutes chasing and avoiding the sucker, but got it. After
the 22 stings from a few weeks ago, I have no trouble
killing this living creature. I won't gross anyone out with
pix of my spider bitten body. I look like I have chicken
pox... all over. I am looking forward to the first freeze!
9/21 FB: Woke up to rain. Jumped out of bed, ready to throw on shoes and do my human Border Collie thing when there, standing in the doorway, are 5 fuzzy faces that are not usually there! Patty, Pumpkin, Cola, and Leslie had come inside on their own!!! Cotton ventured out of his crate. It was a double thrill. I didn't have to go get wet but most of all, they are really beginning to trust me and feel comfortable inside. Only taken 14 months!
|9/19: Many visits to the vet with Nomor.
Finally had a long visit with Rob. Nomor will just be
on DGP and another medication and he will just let me know
when the pain is too much. I have too many dogs at
that stage right now. Way to emotional be be alone for
the next few years.
Both Fez and Goofy have ear infections. Think
Gracie Lynn does too, but she won't let me near her.
Freedom goe in for neuter next week. I have put it off
because he is so terrified of people. I really dread
this but he really needs to mellow his fence attitude.
Don't know what I am doing half the time.
So tired and stressed out. I'm not communicating well
and there are misunderstandings. Some I can't undo.
I know I am slipping into a dangerous place but don't know
how to stop. I need to .....I don't know what I
need..... rest and someone (human form) who really
I have also noticed his hips bothering him. We did not x-ray those. Not much point.
He likes going for a ride. He likes the attention from Rob (the vet) When I left this morning to go get dog food, he sure wanted to go with. I think he figures he gets good attention every time he goes in the car. He is such a sweet boy. Heartbreaking.
9/17 FB: Rain is coming down really hard. Even dogs who are not normally scared of a storm are all hiding around me. Gracie Lyn under my desk, Nomor behind me, Goofy under my feet, Fez crammed between my chair and the wall. The 6 more all crowded in this 12' x 13' computer room making 10 of the 16. Parker, of course is in the bathtub. Cotton, Cola, Laslie, Patty and Pumpkin are in my bedroom hiding from the sounds. Glad I did my human Border Collie routine before this started. .
9/16 FB: I made a trip down behind the shop to see if someone was stealing my building supplies. I kept hearing a sound like wood being tossed in a pile. On my way back up (no thieves) I keep hearing the sound. I discover Wilson is enjoying his fresh Nylabone! He is tossing it into the walls of his house and chasing it around. What a nut!
9/15 FB: So many Pyrs that I have been following on FB. When they cross the Rainbow Bridge, even though I have never nuzzled their fur or personally met their human, I still miss them so much. What is it about this breed that just grabs my heart and won't let go? Maybe some of the tears are because I know I will be losing most of mine over the next 2 to 3 years. Poor Nomor is so bad this morning. I put him in the family room by himself for both his safety from being stepped on and for the safety of the others who venture too close. Vet will be opening shortly. I need to get him in to have that foot looked at. I can't wait until Wednesday's appointment. But I will keep the appointment too
I put a sock on Nomors paw so he would stop chewing it. He was really good for a long time. Then he licked it until it was soaked. When I went to remove it, he nipped me. I had to muzzle him to get it off. He hurts so bad. This is just breaking my heart. He is so sweet and loving. He just hurts. We all get grumpy when we hurt. His vet appointment is Wednesday. Hopefully the vet is back as planned (death in family has messed up his schedule). I trust him more then the other vets under him.
|9/8: Everything goes on facebook. It is a
pariah. I don't care who agrees with me or disagrees.
I stand up for who I am and what I believe. I try not
to offend, but I can't fix stupid. I can't fix lazy.
I can't fix prejudice. Even if I could, I don't have
the energy because there are just too many. I am
content with my beliefs. But I am open to opinions.
I am always learning. Sometimes I begin to look at
things in a different way. But there will always be
those things that I will never change my mind about and
those are the people who deliberately cause harm to the
|8/28: Back up to 36. Layla came today.
Only 2 are leaving. Things fell apart for 4 others
that were suppose to have homes.
I took Cotton, Leslie and Cola in for grooming
today. Sahara and probably Hanna go tomorrow.
Quincy and Irie go on Tuesday before they leave for their
forever homes. Jillian did get adopted and that is
going great. She sent me a video of now named Jewel
playing with squeaky toys. It brought tears. I
am so happy she is happy.
New heat pump in the shop is finished. Dogs
really enjoyed being cool again. They left a mess
which Tim cleaned up. I wish he had told me because it
was their responsibility. I still need them back to
insulate around the holes they cut for the new duct work and
where the old came out. Heat rises so in the winter,
it will all go through the ceiling.
Argued with the phone company again and won. Get my
'good customer' discount back for another year. 50%
tax on your phone! Bill for service is $48.
Taxes are $24. Made the bill $72. They took $10
off dropping it to $60 because of less tax. I know...
must be the new math! My home insurance jumped over
$40 a month so that is on my agenda for tomorrow. They
fix it or I go insurance shopping. Would be pulling
house, cars, and umbrella policy, what ever that is.
About $4500 a year so I should win this one too.
I'm so tired. So very very tired....
|8/19: Colby left yesterday. Great people.
He will have a wonderful life.... but I sure do miss him.
10 months is a long time and we went through a lot together.
Heat pump in the shop went out... totally. It does say
1991 on the side. People lied when we bought the house
13 years ago and said it was only 1 year old. Or maybe
they said they put it in one year earlier. Still boils
down to a lie by insinuation. Low end $4500 but that
would be a bandaid. He'll call me tomorrow with the
estimate for what is practical. Replace everything and
change the location of the unit so I don't have to heat and
cool all 3800 sq. ft. will pay for the price difference in
the long run. To get my work room to temp, the
rest of the shop is 10 degrees one way or the other.
Moved Quincy in with Irie so they can get acquainted
for their trip to NY and their adopters. Want to make
it as easy for the transporter as possible. Handling 2
big dogs and a toddler is not going to be easy.
Moses is back in the house but he keeps jumping the
gate. He will go over the fence if I put him out with
Cola. Nomor was being nasty to Moses so he is out with
Cola. He is being nasty to Dillon through the fence,
but I was down there inside the doggie duplex for 2 1/2
hours working on Cola so he was a bit protective of me.
I feel terrible that I moved him, but I didn't know what
else to do. He could have stayed if he hadn't kept
getting in Moses face.
Made a rump roast today for me and Cotton. I did
give the others a bite each. Cotton really responds to
roast so it is worth sharing with him. .
|8/10: A few days ago I said No More until I am
down to 24. Well, meet "Nomor".
|8/2: Why am I here? I mean, why here to
blog? I should be going to bed but know as soon as I
do, they will announce it to the world.... loudly and in
I don't feel like I accomplished anything today but I
worked hard. Zelda's left side is all combed out.
She would not roll over and decided she'd had enough.
I don't get up off the floor very well, so I scooted across
the floor to a sleeping Goofy. Now Goofy has a left
side all combed out. He would not roll over either.
Hanna wanted a turn but 3 hours on the floor and I knew if I
did not start working on getting on my feet, I would end up
sleeping there and no one would get fed. Having a
sprained hand and a bad knee makes lifes necessities very
I managed to destroy 2 vacuum cleaners today. I
broke the old one. I'll need to take it in for a new
part on Monday. The new one, which I hate, is so
clogged, it won't pick up. I have poked everything I
can think of down the shaft thing. It is specifically
made for "dog hair". Yep, it catches it and keeps
it... forever ... right in the suction pipe. So much
for house cleaning. Got the left side done... no that
was the dogs.... actually got half the livingroom done.
Of course if I turn the right way, it would be the left
side... I may call a janitorial service to clean once a
week. I've tried housekeepers but they usually have
and excuse not to show up more then once.. Strange??
Can't imagine why.
Cooked a roast for Cotton. Seriously. I did
steal enough for a sandwich and I will probably set aside
enough for one tomorrow but the rest is his. Last
night I had to run to town so grabbed a Hardy's $5.49 Big
Bag lunch. Double cheese burger for me and a roast
beef for Cotton. He loved it. Had a roast in the
freezer so decided to make it for him. Food just does
not appeal to me. I have been forcing myself to eat
because I know I have to. Two pieces of Oatnut toast
and a glass of either chocolate milk or real orange juice
and I am good for the day... all day.. Not even been
having my slice of frozen cheese cake at night. It had
become a ritual. Just is not tasting all the great.
May have said this, but too lazy to read the last
entries. I will have 6 (maybe 7) more dogs
leaving this month. (Pearl just got adopted on the
31st) Yeah! Lakota & Dillon will go to MT. Moses
will go to Candy. Angel will got to Cindy and Dave.
Colby to NM. Quincy will go to Boston. Irie may
got to CT. With Irie it will be a matter of her
allergies. They have as many, if not more, things she
is allergic to there on their property. Vet
consultations hoped for on Monday between theirs and mine.
That still leaves me with 8 really adoptable dogs here.
Breeze, Jillian, SashaM, FaithM, Thelma, Louise, Mint and
Levi. And 2 pain in the rear dogs, Gracie Lynn and
Trip. Anne that went straight to foster may be adopted
by the foster. lucy/Lucile is at Candy's and may come
here when she takes Moses. Toby is in foster and she
will help place him when he is ready. I need my
numbers down. If I can reach 24 for winter. Any
more then that and it is just too hard.
And a final note... I am so lonely. I need someone to
hug and hug me back. I don't do well alone.
Being loved by a bunch of dogs is as good as it gets, but
having someone who can actually talk to me in human and care
what I have to say... I really miss that.
|7/29: I had a glass of choc. milk for breakfast at
2:00 and choc. pudding for dinner at 5:30. I think I
need to eat something healthy. Salad just does not
sound good right now but then actually nothing but another
I love when an adoption application comes together quickly.
Some I ponder over for days and weeks and usually decide
"no" anyway. Lakota will be going to Montana. I
am thrilled with this adopter. Working on
transportation now. He will get his HW treatment
there. I feel good about his vets protocol for
treatment and the price is fair.
Colby will be going to NM . Another great family.
they will drive here end of August and pick him up.
They would come sooner but have previous commitments.
I'm looking at a "foster failure" for Anne. She
just got her to foster and already in love with her.
Just waiting to be sure she does not kill the chickens.
Candy will be making it official with Moses when
she gets back from her vacation. then she will pick
Hopefully Quincy and/or Dillon will be
added to the new home list.
I hope I have the final dog shuffle done.
Several more changes today. FaithM decided she liked
Mint better then Fraz so while Tim and I were changing out a
fence, she found a gap to sneak through. We left her
there and moved Jillian in with Fraz. Reinforced the
yard on the hill to put SashaM and Emo in. Trip and
Breeze got moved over to the smaller hill yard. Trip
seems to be ok with Emo on the other side of the fence.
He was horrible when it was Mint or Dillon or Quincy.
Hopefull he won't bark all night tonight.
|7/27: Rescues- fosters: Ever have a dog that made
you crazy? You cry and cuss from frustration?
The dog has not a clue it is upsetting you because you can't
catch it in the act.... but you know. You know because
it is on the wrong side of the fence. You know because all
the other dogs are outside and suddenly a puddle appears.
You know because a dog that never finishes eating now has a
bowl wiped clean. Now, most of the dogs will have a
guilty look. They know even before they do it, it is
wrong. But not Gracie Lynn. She has this look
of... well, total lack of comprehension. "The floor is
handy, I had to go. So what's the big deal?
Parker / Pumpkin/ Cotton/ walked away from their bowl so no
reason to waste food. People go outside the yard
without a leash so why can't I? " If I could just make
her an outside dog.... but she jumps out one fence and in
the other. Within minutes, she has returned into the
Then there is Trip...... With this many (36) dogs, it
stands to reason there will be at least one or 2. Love
'em, just can't handle their bad habits.
I had to move Mint. He was not letting Cola eat.
He didn't want it. Just didn't want her to have any.
Both bowls were full. He would run from one to the
other going after her and jumping her. So she is alone
and so is he. Good thing I have the yards. Later
I will do some more dog shuffling. I should have moved
Trip and Jillian into the smaller yard and put Mint in with
Breeze. I think she would stand up to him. I
could move all 3 over and switch the yard for Mint and give
him Thelma or Louise. they would put him in his place
like they did Levi. Something is going to have to
change because Trip is absolutely not going to stop fence
fighting with Mint. I would put the citronella bark
collar on Trip, but he wallers in the pools and I don't
think it would hold up to submersion. Tim and I had to
fix the fence where it joined as Trip was working his way
into Mint's yard with a vengeance.
It is Sunday... suppose to be a day of peace and rest... ha!
Not even 9 a.m.
|7/20: The doggie duplex is 'move-in-able'. I
will get the divider up tomorrow so I can utilize both
yards. Half the roof still to be shingled, vinyl
siding to go on and a few small spaces to close up.
Oh, I do need to seal the floor. That has got to be
top of the list tomorrow so it can dry. It is so
messed up. Derek just caused so much trouble.
Never should have left him alone. Should have stood
over his every move. Good thing I fired him after day
2. Should have been after day one. But if If I
ever get around to trim, most mistakes won't show. Not
a high priority. The dogs won't really care.
I have way too many dogs, but Hollister took in 2 owner
surrender Pyrs. They have 24 hour hold and then can be
euthanized. I left emails and messages. I don't
know where I will put them. I just can't let them die.
Hopefully Lakota and the 2 mange girls, Sasha and Faith can
all be together. Lakota needs someone but Gracie Lynn
jumps his fence and I tried Pearl and he bullied her over
food. I will be glad when Karen comes to help me make
these decisions of who should go with whom.
|7/13: Tried to take a nap around 1 p.m. but darn
flies are everywhere in the house. Have traps and that
horrid sticky strip but they are too smart for that.
So got up and went to Lowes and got 2 fantastic cull packs.
They will deliver Thursday but I think I may have to pick
them up because I really need some of the stuff in them.
The doggie duplex will have vinyl siding!!!
Stray dog got picked up by it's owner last night at
midnight. they had just gotten home and looked on
trading post and saw her pix I posted. She had been
gone since the 4th. He was overjoyed to get her back
but she did not seem all that excited to see him.
Leaves a really sinking feeling in my heart. Of course
even the strays who turn up here get spoiled.
Miserably hot yesterday and today. Tim and
I worked until 12:45 and then had to quit. 97 degrees
in town. Humidity must be that too. Have the AC
raging in the 3 dog yards that have them. Hopefully
soon when the duples is finished, 2 more houses will have
AC. Going to fence down the center rather then wall.
Save on buying 2 AC instead of 1 and save on electricity.
Karen Kelley will be here this coming week. I am
so looking forward to her advise and direction.
Pumpkin and Cotton are pretty much making themselves at home
in the main part of the house.... until Cotton sees me and
retreats to his crate. I just don't look at him hoping
he will come around. This morning before I fed, I had
about 6 all wanting attention. Cotton and Pumpkin were
so close. I could tell they really wanted in on it but
were not quite ready. I am so looking forward to the
day they will come up to me and let me pet them. I
think my next 2 will be Patty and Fraz, but maybe Cola needs
in here more. She is not doing well. She is not
getting her DGP since I moved them. Once I get them
back into a routine, I can put it in her food again, but for
now I would not know if it were her getting it or Emo.
|7/12: Started a doggie duplex on Thursday.
Derek who solicits on the Wal-mart corner for work with his
Pyr was really good last year. He built one of the
decks. Obviously I over reached when I thought he
could build the duplex. Tim and I just spent the
morning taking down a 20' long wall and re-cutting every
board. He showed up to work at 11:30 and I told him
"good bye. We don't need you". He was really
pissed. He kept arguing with me, or at least trying.
It was one way as I refuse to be sucked into something that
is non-productive. Did that yesterday when he kept
arguing with me about the lumber. I have
very few 2x4's but a vast amount of 2x8's I'll never
have use for 2x8's so we ripped them. He wanted me to
go buy 2x4's. Takes less then one minute to rip one on
the table saw. If I had went to town, in the time it
took these were done. Tim and I could only work 3
hours as it just got too hot. Doesn't look like a lot
got accomplished since a good part of that time was spent
re-doing the mess. Tim has to work tonight and
tomorrow night so we won't get much done. I think I
can build the side wall by myself and he can help me stand
it. The front is going to be tricky since Derek
screwed up the whole base. He came 6" too far forward
and didn't cut the frame boards so that added another 3 1/2
inches so we are into the tree. He said I would have
to cut it down!!! Over my dead body!!! I will just
have to build around it. God, I hate people!
Well, with exceptions.....
|7/9/14: I have no ambition. I'm worn out.
I am overwhelmed with things that need done, so much so I
end up doing nothing. I find excuses to turn down
adopters because they are not 'perfect'. I worry too
much about making the right decisions. If I make a
wrong one, they may suffer. Be that wrong decision
saying ok or no to an adopter. Saying 'no' to a good
match can be just as wrong as saying yes to a bad one.
I am carrying the weight of the future for 26 dogs on my
heart (and 9 sanctuary dogs). It is too much to
|7/6/14: Little annoyances all day long. Started
with the power going off while I was buying a donut.
No stor back up generator. Sunday staff stands there
going "DUH!" Without technology, this generation is
lost. God forbid should you be allowed to pay for
something that was not scanned even if you have exact
My underwire broke. Boob sagged all day.
Trip went swimming as soon as I got him home from the
groomers. I knew he would.
Moses is limping. I suspect Cotton nailed him.
Poor Moses does not do anything wrong. I think Cotton
is just claiming his 'room'.
Visitors so feeding was running 2 hours late.
Then before I could get to the outside dogs, it began to
rain. Pepsi did not get to eat.
I had not eaten all day so drove to Wal-mart.
I needed liverworst for Moses and the others pills anyway.
Decided on deli meat. Since when is .88 a third of a
pound??? I told the guy "I said I wanted a 1/3 of a
pound". And he said "but it was the end of the loaf".
Well excuse me, If I say a 1/3 of a pound, that is what I
want, not almost a pound. He was very angry.... well, buddy,
so was I! Then I get the bread out of the cabinet and
it is getting a tad stale. At least it was not growing
It is 9:25 and I am heading to bed. I did take a
2 1/2 hour nap today. I suspect I will do likewise
tomorrow. I am learning to sleep when the dogs sleep.
|7/4/14: So far, so good. Only a few
fireworks sounds last night. Dread tonight but most of
the neighbors are old.
This morning started out fine.... for a few minutes.
Cotton has decided if there is hamburger in his dish, there
is also pills. Now he won't eat if there is anything
other then kibble in the bowl... so he decided Moses food
looked better. Minor fight broke out. Moses is
not one to hold a grudge. Went down hill from there.
Pepsi had not eaten by the time I was done with 'rounds'.
I wanted her to have more time so I took Dillon for a walk.
I always tether him during food time because he will finish
his and then go eat hers. I don't want to leave him
tied for more then half an hour. Half way down the
road, here comes FaithM and SashaM. Luckily they just
checked out the neighbors and a few hundred yards down the
trail. Some how they had opened the gate. It is
one of those old heavy duty kennel gates so must have been a
one time fluke. Trip was still in the yard just
looking at the open gate. Now, give him a small hole
in the fence and he will work it until he is out. Go
|7/2/14: Cotton moved into the kitchen. It
was wonderful to see him there. I got tears I was so
happy. He stayed all day. I think when he tried
to get up, some would grump at him so at 11 p.m., I got him
up and out to potty. He really had to go. Poor
fella. Sadly he retreated to his crate when he came
back in. Hopefully he will come in the house tomorrow.
Tim and I have gotten a lot done. Saturdays
volunteers really helped. It has been a very busy
week. Sweetness had a something removed and 2 teeth
pulled. Pepsi, Patty and Pumpkin got groomed.
Finished up the newest building and moved Trip, Sasha and
Faith into it.
|6/25/14: Totally frustrated. Tim went to
court for his DUI yesterday. This is a kid who does
not drink more then maybe a 6 pack a week. He got off
work early because the machines broke down. Stopped
into Walmart and picked up a 6 pack. Drank 2. He
was drunk! First offense. Never been in any
trouble. Judge threw everything at him! $1235
fine, 90 days in jail, community service, Drug and Alcohol
program and a safe driver program. Well, it is so unfair.
Repeat offenders walk with much less. Real criminals
get less. Well, his head is up his ass since yesterday
and I can't have this. He is not functioning.
I'm trying to give him work to do to pay the fine but he
just screws it up. Instead of getting the riding lawn
mower out, he is weed eating the front yard!!! I
showed him how to put some pegs on the side of the roof and
he put them in wrong 3 times. I even stood there
saying 'move it over 1/2 an inch' and he moves it 2 inches.
I am ready to cry. Here is a good kid that a judge is
going to destroy.
|6/21: Took Fraz to the vet yesterday. Tim
helped me catch him to clean him up and move him. He
has been so depressed since Cola was moved. Then I
noticed he was really dirty on his back. I just
thought it was from him laying in mud. As I removed
the hair, I found a huge hot spot that had been fly infested
and full of maggots! I wanted to cry. How could
this happen? He had not eaten in the 3 days since I
moved Cola. I think maybe stress was a contributor.
That yard is my 'best' for accommodations but so isolated.
My heart is just breaking for Fraz. I thought I was
doing right by moving the fearful ones in with social ones.
I just had not gotten to Fraz because he is so hard to
catch. The line is drawn. No more. I have
the room but no help. Without help, things like this
will continue to happen. I will take the sisters that
I promised several weeks ago to take but not the one in
Rogers or Cabool.
Tim and I got a shelter almost completely built under
the shop in just 3 hours! We will finish it up this
morning. Cola and Emo are in that yard and I know they
will not be going into the shop for shelter so they needed a
safe place out of the weather. This is something I
have wanted to get done for over a year.
Tim got most of the ceiling and insulation in the
shelter for Angel and Trip. They kept pottying in the
shop so that is why they are back in that yard. I have
company coming next weekend and he is ready to help
construct so I'm hoping we can get another shelter well
underway. Tim has to work nights but I told him he was
going to have to give me a few hours both days.
Got "Pearl" from Linda. Sweet Pyr girl.
Already vetted. Rained so bad between home and meeting
her in Harrison that in some areas I was going 10 miles an
hour as could not see the line. Luckily it had blown
on down when I went home. So now Pearl is in with
Lakota. I plan to put her in with Fraz in a center
yard when he comes home and put Lakota with the 2 sisters in
the lower yard.
|6/19: Linda called yesterday. I'll be
getting a Pyr girl tomorrow. Guess the other 2 will
come Saturday. I'm still shuffling. I had
all set and started moving dogs. Some worked, some
didn't and some have changed.
Emo ended up in the shop with Cola. It was quite the
challenge to get him moved. And he had matted up as
bad as when they came. I have just never been able to
catch him. It did take over 20 minutes for Tim and I
to wear him out to catch him. Then a good 10 minutes
to practically drag him to the shop. Had a leash
around his middle, and one on his neck and a collar and
lead. He was trying to chew through and I was not
taking any chances. If he got loose, it would be a
death sentence. He would starve to death. That
all started around 4:15 right after I fed the outside dogs.
Since we had him and got him inside the shop, I decided to
get the blanket of mats off. They really were a
blanket. Tim and I worked until 7:00. I think
Tim put in another half hour after that. My body just
can't bend and my knee is a hindrance. It won't bend
to let me get on the floor. Anyway, Emo relaxed and
almost fell asleep. He has to feel so much better.
I suspect we will do the same with Fraz before we settle him
into his new yard tomorrow. Tim can do the comb out
while I go pick up the new girl.
Moses ended up in the first yard with Pumpkin. Levi and
Pumpkin did not hit it off so Levi is in with Patty.
Their personalities seem to be working. Dillon is
still showing territorial protection when Moses or another
male walks by. I thought by moving him, it would help.
Tomorrow we move Fraz into where Emo was and give him the
new girl. Then I will move Lakota into the lower
yard and give him the Saturday sisters. My only saving
grace is that all 3 of these were spayed long ago.
Tim and I got the roof boards on the dog house
and I put wood sealant on the floor and uprights of the
porch. It is only 8 x 8 and half will be porch and
half enclosed with a 24" x 30" entry door. It will be
insulated and I'll put a fan out there to move air around.
Too small for an AC. I am eager to get it finished so
we can move the fencing so Angel and Trip can go in it.
While I was picking up the insulation for the
ceiling and roofing nails, I got 11 more shingle bundles for
$5 each. I have enough commercial grade to do the rest
of the 3 buildings I need. I'm sure I have the lumber
too. I might lack enough exterior siding, but I'll
keep watch and their may be more in cull packs.
I should have known better, but I left the
mattress in the house in the yard where Dillon was.
Levi is in that yard now. He made short work of it.
I can recover it but will need a layer of foam. He
really made a mess.
|6/17: Well, I was up to 14 in the house and
then down to 10 now back to 12 all in 48 hours.
Not happy that Gracie Lynn is back in the house. It
was a wonderful 3 days with her out in a yard. I'm so
tired of her "marking" everyones place. My family room
area rug is ruined. She was in with Moses that Candy
brought down. It was great until Candy left yesterday.
Moses has gotten out 3 times. This time Gracie Lynn
followed and jumped the fence to come in to the house.
Irie was out with Levi for just 2 days and her
allergies went off the chart. She is allergic to
Walnut trees and the place is full of them. So she is
back in the house. I may move her to the shop with
Moses. There is only a cedar in that yard and she is
not allergic to cedar.
Lakota has done a complete turn around. He bonded
so strongly with Scootie. He is now warming up to me.
He ate out of my hand. Nuzzles into my lap.
Wants petted. I still think he is half wolf.
Even with his uncertainty and insecurity gone, he still has
those wolf eyes.
Tim is down working on the shelter where Breeze is.
Once it is finished, I think I will move Angel and Trip in
there. They don't play so they don't need much room.
I can put beds in there and they won't tear them up. I
really need them both in foster homes.
Two 14 month old spayed females coming this
weekend. I want to put on with Emo and the other with
Fraz. I just need to come up with another space.
If Levi goes, I'll have it.
I have opened the door for Cotton. He has
full access to the other dogs and the house. but he stays in
his crate in the day and outside at night. He is
coming around. The other dogs don't really even notice
Jillian got spayed today. Will pick her up in the
morning. Hope I remember. I don't know what I am
doing half the time. I'm just worn out.
|6/11: Got Cotton on all fresh cooked meat.
He is eating every bite. This is people grade stuff,
like Tysons boneless chicken breast and eye round steak.
Just what ever I have in the freezer, he is getting.... well
almost. I don't plan on giving him the old fish sticks
which need thrown out and I'm selfish with the cheese cake.
But as for meat, I'll fix what ever.
Lakota got a bath yesterday at the vets and then they kept
him overnight for neuter today. He slept on Candy's
lap in the back seat coming home. I am trying to find
a wolf rescue for him. He is definitely half wolf.
Tim and I got an 8 x 8 shelter base built yesterday.
Got the walls up today. Roof will have to be Monday.
Tomorrow to Springfield to meet Gracie/Mariah's adopter.
Then we will eat at Lamberts. It has been several
years. Will pick up Candy's granddaughter and bring
her here with us for the remainder of Candy's stay.
She is such a neat kid and so great with the dogs.
|6/10: Cotton threw up this morning. I have
trouble giving him his pills so think it may have upset his
tummy. He has to have them. tonight I cooked. I
had a cube steak in the freezer that I thawed and broiled.
He loved it. From now on, he is off kibble and on
human food. Got chicken thawing for tomorrow.
I'll cook a little rice and see how that goes. Then
add green beans and carrots spread out over 2 weeks. I
just love this boy and so sad I did not bring him into the
I moved Gracie/Mariah in with Moses. They are not
thrilled but that's tough. Moved Trip into the shop.
His personality does a 180 when he is in there. Really
weird. Put Levi in with Patty or Pumpkin. Nor
sure which girl is in that yard. Always hiding and
barking. I'm hoping Levi might get her to come out.
Candy got ALL the data entry done. Tomorrow we
will pull chip numbers so I can send them off to be
registered. Someone needs to volunteer to make calls
for updates on the dogs. I know many are dead because
of age. I just need to know.
Althea came up to visit today. It was
great seeing her. It has been almost a year since she
came. I did see her when she helped transport Colby to
me. Kynzi is finally getting along with Maxwell.
She is such a poop. I am so glad they have worked
Pouring rain again. At least it waited
until everyone was fed. I am really tired of the rain
but not looking forward to heat and humidity either.
I just want it to stay dry long enough to get the grass
My knees are about to give out again. I have got to
slow down but I can't. One thing messing me up is the
sliding glass door is off track and messed up. Will
not open so I have to go around. Not a big distance,
just a big inconvenience. Going down the front steps
is very hard. The back steps, even without a rail is
much easier on my knees. But with the door
stuck, I go down the front.
|6/9: Such a busy week. Got 2 more dogs.
Jillian from Rogers AC and Lakota from Cabool. Put
Jillian in with Breeze and they are having a wonderful time.
I love watching them from the window. Would love a
video, but if I go down, then they stop. Jillian spent
the past 3 months over there in a small run, terrified.
It will take a little time for her to feel settled in.
Lakota is alone. He needs a friend but no
girls that I can put there because they are either freshly
spayed (he's not fixed yet) or they are more fearful then he
is. He spent his life on a chain. He is a mans
dog. He too will take some time to warm to me.
I had 14 in the house this past week.
Decided it is too many. Twelve is ok. Cotton is
starting to relax but being inside is still new to him.
He loves it, but just can't get the hang of the doggie door.
I have to leave the door open. I sure don't want to
remove the flap. So darn hard to get those things on.
It has been a tough week with storms cutting into every
day. Seems like the clouds read my mind and as soon as
I load the food dishes, the worst of the rain hits.
Not knowing if it will get worse, I run out and try to keep
food dry to get under shelter for them. As soon as I
am done, the rain lets up. This has happened 3 days in
a row. Doesn't matter if I am feeding at 3 or 4 or 5.
I am now on my 6th pair of shoes. The first pair is
still wet. Luckily I stocked up on $3 ones from the
thrift stores. I still have 4 dry pair, I think.
Worst come to worst, I can use the blow dryer. These
are not sneakers so can't go in the dryer.
I am desperate for help in putting up shelters. I know
how but don't have the strength to hold up 4x8 sheets of
plywood. Tim has the strength, but it still takes 2
people to hold one in place while a third one screws it in
place. I bought 2 more cull packs so have plenty to
make at least 2 good size buildings (8 x 10) with decks (8 x
6) . Have a window for each also and the promise of one
door. Need the rain to stop and a body to help.
Wish I could locate Derick, the homeless young man with the
Pyr named Brazzle. He is a good carpenter and hard
Guess I will try to go back to sleep. Woke up at 1 a.m.
It is now 3 a.m. A lot to do today. Irie has a
dental, Trip stitches out, got to get some things from the
store, a potential adopter coming but didn't tell us a time
(and I can't find her phone number) and the usual dog stuff
and cleaning. Worn out just thinking about it.
|6/3: Cotton and Sahara to the vet this morning.
Sahara's hot spot is doubling in size daily. Wish
someone would come up with a cause. A variety of
potential cures but none is really effective. Cotton
is ehrlichia symptomatic so got him started on Doxy.
He is much older then I was led to believe. Rob said
9. I moved him into the house. He is officially
a Sanctuary Dog. He is VERY happy. I had to
practically drag him out to go potty. He is unsure of
the doggie door but I just put a new one on and don't feel
like removing it. So darn hard to get those screws to
line up and then get them tight. If he potties
inside, it's ok. I'm pretty use to cleaning up after
these old fellas.
Candy arrived. Moses and Lucile are beautiful.
They are really sweet. Lucile is very scared.
She gets spayed tomorrow. This will be a real
challenge. She is so insecure without Moses.
When we pick her up she won't be able to be with him for
months. Can't put a freshly spayed female with a
freshly neutered (or not neutered) male. They both
will have new yard mates.
After dog were settled in we went and meet the people
with the kennel panels. They also brought me an igloo
and 3 other dogs houses We will need to pressure wash
them before I can use them but they are in good shape.
Relaxed on the dock for awhile after dinner.
Forced relaxation. House is a mess. If I don't
clean twice a day it is intolerable. The shedding is
It is 10:30 p.m. and I can't sleep. Too wired with
family issue. I know I am a fool. It really
sucks when you know you are being used by someone you love.
I keep saying 'last time', but this time I mean it.
I'm not going to answer the phone or read messages from this
person. I have to take care of me because no one else
is. and I can't be taking care of people who won't
take care of themselves. Sadly, I know I won't be
taken care of in return... ever.
|6/2: 1:42 a.m. Allergies. I think I
know one of the triggers. Dust in the AC vent. I
got too hot. Six dogs in the bedroom can do that.
Turned the temp down and when it kicked on, so did my
allergies. Guess I need to get someone out to clean
them out. I am sure with all the dogs laying on them
all the time in the summer, the dirt that has managed to
accumulate has got to be down right disgusting.
I think I am at 28 including Gracie the first who may
or may not go back to her adopter. Two mange dogs,
Sasha and Faith coming today. Candy and 3 coming
Tuesday. Moses and Lucile (hey, I just remembered how
to spell it. Need to change the adopt page) are
Ozark Dogs. Becky is Candys she got from me. I babysit
Lacy come Wednesday. One more rescue coming, not sure
what day. That will make 35 dogs here. I have 11
yards now plus the 2 house yards. I thought I had 10.
Keep forgetting the one under the deck. I disguised to
well. Have to keep one empty in case some decide to be
Busy week. Kashi follow up in the morning. Cotton
tomorrow for check up. Moses for neuter on Wed and
Lucile for spay on Thur. Got to squeeze in a couple of
groomings too. Since I have help, I want to get the
fearful ones in and cleaned up.
Back to bed, I guess. The AC kicked off.
Took an allergy pill. Maybe I will get a few hours
more sleep if I can stop itching from tick bites and chigger
bites and probably a few flea bits too. I'm even
spraying me before I go outside and it's not helping.
5/29: Sometimes we get amazing adopters. We know they are amazing. Then they go beyond amazing! The family who adopted Michael called last night. They want to give Angel a home. They want to offer her a real family during her struggle with terminal cancer. They had talked about adopting her earlier but wanted to have Michael settled in first. Now the ultimate offer: to give her a home knowing it will be a heartbreaking time for them.
To many this would be a no-brainer. But for me it is a tough decision. I have to weigh so many hearts. First is Angels. Her and Michael were buddies. She loves the attention she got from Michaels people. Second is Michaels people. They lost their heart dog just a few months ago. Would this be more then they are anticipating? Third is Tim. Angel sleeps next to Tim. He is heartbroken that she has cancer. At 26 years old, how will either decision effect him? Lastly, me. I have to put my feelings aside. I can't let them be a part of this decision. Taking care of a sick dog has become part of my life. The emotional load is heavy. To be totally honest, a chance to lift some of this burden is very appealing. But to know it will rest on others shoulders is very troublesome for me.
|5/28: Angel is full of cancer. Will just
bring her home and make her as happy as we can for as long
as she is comfortable.
Gracie the first is here. Suspect she won't
be going back. Getting her groomed tomorrow. She
is a mess. Oh well. Cotton gets groomed
Put up another yard today. I took a corner
off the yard on the hill and swapped out the single gate for
a double. Added on as far as I could without going
over the hill. Yard is small, about 20 x 30.
Poor Pepsi is confused. That corner is now in the new
yard and that was her 'spot'.
Breeze has something weird going on. The hair on
her back is all gnawed off. She was fine when she
came. It looks like she has rubbed under something but
I cannot find anything she could have gotten under.
I'm sure Cotton has not done it to her. He hides in
his igloo or against the fence where Emo and Patty are.
Might be allergies to something here or the food. She
gets spayed Friday so will see what the vet thinks.
Trip will be a trip to catch tomorrow morning for
his surgery. I know he is going to hide under the
deck. He is in with Pumpkin and they get way under.
I can't get down on my knees. Tim will have to get up
early to get him out..
5/27: Matthew is now neutered and tested
HW neg. so he will be leaving for his forever home on
Saturday. Yeah for Matthew.
After dropping off Matthew at the vet, Nancy and Betty
came and we walked the dogs. Then I went and picked up
fencing and dog food. Tim and I put up a yard. I Think it is
about 35 x 40. Used fencing as just can't afford any kennel
panels. Poor Tim pounding those T-posts into...
this rocky ground. Get one started and hit a rock. Move it a
few inches and hit another rock. They are not in as far as
they need to be, but without an auger, just not going to
Angel goes in for tumor removal tomorrow (5/28).
Trip goes in for neuter and eye surgery on Thursday (5/29).
Breeze goes in for Spay on Friday (5/30).
Cotton goes in for blood work and check up Tuesday (6/3).
Lucy (Lucial) goes in for spay next Wednesday (6/4).
Moses goes in for neuter on next Thursday (6/5).
Irie goes in for dental the following Monday (6/9).
Tomorrow morning I am picking up Gracie, the
original from years past. I will babysit her while her
family gets moved into a new house and gets their fencing
moved. I'm also babysitting Lacy starting on
Candy is coming next Tuesday (June 3) and
bringing Moses, Lucy and her dog she adopted from me, Becky.
I have a friend coming about the same time who does
cinematography. He is going to work with me on some video
clips of my rescue and all that is involved.
Somewhere along in the chaos, Karen Kelley
will be visiting with her pack and helping me with decisions
on who to put with whom and more pointers on getting these
scared ones ready for adoption someday. There has been
progress but they have been here 10 months. Still a ways to
go before they are adoptable.
|5/23: It is midnight. I just had to put Levi
down below because he kept getting on the bed. Since I
am awake I hear a lot of ruckus from below. Peeking
out the window I see Dillon enticing Pepsi to play. He
lunges and stops. She raises her butt and lowers her
head in the puppy like stand off. They race around the
yard, leaping on and off their deck. What a wonderful
thing I am witnessing. Five years old and Pepsi is
learning to play for the first time, probably ever.
Maybe I will leave Levi down and put Pumpkin in with him.
Or maybe Leslie. Wish I had a happy, social girl for
|5/18: Angels past owners are upset because I posted that
she had been neglected. Neglect does not just mean you
walk by the dog every day and ignore it. You can love
it and pet it, but if you "neglect" it's physical needs, it
is STILL NEGLECT! To say they had her for 3 years and
she would just not gain weight yet I have her for a month
and she looks great and put on 10 pounds... and they
were not even aware she had tumors which I noticed
immediately. So anyway, they can be pissed. They
rid themselves of a dog they had no business having so I
really don't care if they are offended.
Kashi has arrived in Columbia. The lady who
swapped Gracious to me for Fancy is taking her in to the vet
school in hte morning. Puppy Bear will be going back
to Gail who will get her on CARE to Colorado where she will
be re-united with any of her littermates who remain up for
adoption. And I need to let the person with the other
Pyr know what day I can get him. Until I know what day
Kashi is coming back, I'm unsure.
|5/16: Busy day yesterday and today. Got a new yard
up. Scrounged and repaired enough panels to make a 40
x 20 yard half under the deck for shelter. I still
have a small space I need to fill in where the ground drops
off leaving a 1' gap at the top of a 4' panel under the
deck. Went to buy lattice to put up to make it look
nice and fill in the hole but would have cost $100 so will
get creative in photoshop Sunday and see if I can come up
with a design that will be functional, attractive and
|Noon: Some people really are saints. Jeanine
and Bridget are re-working their schedule so they can get
Kashi to Mizzou.
5/14: It has been several days of just wanting to
give up and say to hell with people. Nothing is
working out to get Kashi to Columbia for her surgery.
And if she gets there, no plan on how to get her home.
I can't do this. I can't go to Salem on Friday, Puppy
to Huntsville (south west) on Saturday and Kashi towards
Columbia (north east) on the same day. Debby's brother
will drive her all the way on Sunday, but he is an hour and
a half south of me so a 15 hour day behind the wheel.
Just too much for us senior citizens. And Tim has to
work so he is not an option. If nothing is in place by
tomorrow morning, I am canceling Kashi's surgery again.
There is $740 there but still short over $1300 which I just
can't afford. I just can't deal with this.
And Goofy is getting worse. Had his teeth
cleaned. Just hoping for a little.... hope.
Trying to be positive. Every since that woman sat on
him, he has deteriorated so rapidly. He use to love
walks, now he wants to go but struggles and is in pain.
My house pack is dying. They are old. Age is
taking it's toll. Weather is not cooperating. I
pledged to walk Goofy a little every day, but it is raining
and cold. I don't mind, but he does not need wet and
I should have worked harder on the application for
Gracie Lynn but I had nothing to work with and they never
had a dog before. She is a challenge. When I
emailed about others, I did not get a reply so app is
Colby's approved person has not re-contacted me.
When you get roped into being a free babysitter for a
grandchild, you can bet the parents will never look for one
they have to pay. Sadly, Colby would be perfect with a
toddler but the parents don't want 'dog' in the house.
It's Wednesday. It's 10:45 a.m. It's
raining, has been, will continue. I picked up dog
food. It's still in the SUV. I picked up donuts.
Those are in my tummy. My body is considering going
back to bed. My brain is saying "go sew". It
relaxes me. But I am not sure I can abandon the house
dogs because although Levi is being really good, he can be a
bit much for my old guys. I just want to make the
uncertainty of this weekend go away.
|5/11/14: An hour on the floor with Fez.
Feels like at least 2. Every muscle aches. I had
to keep scooting as he kept moving. I decided if he was
going to be on the bed with me, I had to take off much of
his week catchers. Of course I only got to one
side as he would not roll over. He looks lopsided with
10" hair in places and 3" in others but he's not entering
any beauty contests and I'm not competing for grooming
Spent yesterday on the computer trying to catch up with dog
stuff. People have no clue how long it takes to take
good dog photos, crop and size them in photoshop, open up
the web page, place pix, file, type something about the dog
then close and go to another program to upload the files and
pages. One dog can take up to 2 1/2 hours easily.
Doing 2 goes a little quicker per dog. Getting them on
petfinder is more time. So Matthew and Dillon took up
5 hours yesterday and they did not get the attention of that
time. Posting Moses and Lucy, 2 new ones that are at
Candy's took up another half hour and they didn't even get a
web page or petfinder. Just a pix on home page and FB
post. Having this many and having so much
responsibility towards each is just too much.
I don't even know the count that is here. 12 in House:
Fez, Goofy, Parker, Zelda, Sahara, Chipi, Sweetness, Hanna,
Colby, Levi, Irie, Gracie Lynn. 10 in
yards: Emo & Pumpkin, Patty & Cotton, Leslie & Freedom,
Dillon, Cola, & Pepsi & Fraz. 3 in the shop:
Matthew, Angel and (Tims' dog) Lucky. 4 In Foster:
Kashi & her pup Bear, Moses & Lucy. And one on the way here
next week. Bear will be out of foster and Kashi will
be adopted by foster after her surgery next week. My count
will go up by one and foster count will go down by 2.
I have applications sitting on my desk but they are just not
'jumping out' at me. Some people do and some don't.
Probably because I don't see a good 'fit' for the dogs they
want. And I am too tired to make the calls and too
unsure of my judgment right now to make decisions.
I need more perfect people like Cindy and David that got
|5/7: 48 hours of diarrhea. I braved some
Jell-O for breakfast. By 5 p.m. I just had to eat.
More then hours without food. I went to town and got
bread which I had been out of for a week. Picked up
pork chops and more Jell-O (just incase). I made a
small pork chop sandwich. Hope it does not turn out to
be a mistake. I took the grapefruit seed extract I
keep for the dogs with diarrhea. It is for humans.
I do forget that with a lot of stuff I buy for them.
Carson, the new boy, got neutered. I normally would have
picked him up that afternoon but he got to spend the night
at the vet. My gut was not letting me be more then 3
seconds from the bathroom.
Another new boy comes tomorrow and then another a few days
later. I have not a clue where I will put them.
All depends on disposition. Irie could use a friend
but she has food issues. She could care less about
eating but another better not even sniff in her bowls
direction. Angel and Lucky would be fine with someone
else but that someone else would have to be ok with them and
be house broke. Carson definitely is not. He
waited to get inside the vet's office before letting go.
Then picking him up, he went before getting outside.
Someone is going to have work to do with him. Maybe
when the testosterone levels are down, his urge to mark will
Newspaper did a story on the train club today. I was
interviewed. I put in a plug for the rescue to have a
story sometime. I think it will happen. I hope
so. It might help get volunteers. I posted
on facebook but wanted to include it here.
|5/5: Got 2 hours sleep and then woke up
suffocating from allergies. I should have brought the
Zurtec in from the car. Claritin and Allegra are not
working. If I go outside, the dogs will all bark and
they are all sound asleep. Rare! Sleeping
sitting up hurts my hips. Laying down and my sinus's
won't drain. I have got to find some 'me' time to get
in and get the VA health insurance.
Hope the puppies are all "in". Rosie is quite the
escape artist. She has gotten out several times.
1 a.m. so just not going looking. She won't go far and
Tim does not get in from work until after I have gotten up
|5/3: Sometime I just don't give a shit if I step on
someones sensitivities. Today is one of those.
I'm tired. I did the right thing even though it was
not 'in the plan'. Precious Michael went missing last
night from his new home. I dropped everything to go
help look for him. It was my priority and my sole
agenda for however long it took. These are my babies
even though they have moved on to forever homes. And
these adopters are fabulous people. They needed my
help and I was so thankful they called me. I would
have been devastated if they had not.
Anyway, he was in the woods just watching for them when we
got back there. He is a Pyr and he will wander, but he
has bonded with them and he is not likely to go far should
he ever get spooked by something again. His humans are
Poor Irie. She is getting fed up with daily baths.
Me too. Poor thing. Shot the vet gave her made
her incontinent so every time she wakes up, even just from a
nap, her bed is soaked and so is she.
Puppies are here until Monday. They are such
dolls. They don't poop near as much as those heeler
pups did. They are cute, playful and cuddly. One
chewed on my shoe. Made me sad. Loren always
said that is how he'd pick a pup. the one that tried
to untie his shoe.
Carson (new dog, temporary name) is a mix or Akbash.
Maybe Kuvaz. I need to brush up on those breeds as mix
them up. He is a good boy. Will be neutered
Wednesday. He really wants a canine companion but
don't know who I could put with him. Hopefully Karen
will come soon and she can help me determine the best
choice. She is helping the tornado victims this week.
6:00 p.m. No netflix for a week.
Netflix blames RCA streaming. RCA kept me in the que
for over 30 minutes then lost me. They are only open 9
to 5 weekdays. GRRR. If Tim can get Netflix,
then it is RCA's fault. If he can't, then it's
Netflix. Hes' suppose to check and let me know so I
know who to complain to. And the weedeater broke but I
actually found the 'additional 2 year protection plan'
papers! Yeah! Now just have to read the fine
print where it probably says it only covers it if it breaks
on a Tuesday that is on the 5th day of the 5th month.
|5/1: Birthday. Cleaned house all morning
after doggie chores. Took Tim to lunch since his
birthday was yesterday. Usually the place agrees with
me but my stomach has not been happy all afternoon.
Cross another one off the list. Tomorrow is non-stop.
7:45 drop Zelda at the vet for dental. 8:30 Michaels
adopters come. Hopefully he will load up within 3
hours as I will need to head to West Plains and be there by
1:00 to pick up another male Pyr. Will be time to feed
by the time I get home. I will crash. Petfair
Saturday. Debby is coming so I said I'd help.
I'll take somebody. Probably Levi. Or maybe
Angel so people will donate for her tumor removals.
Get 6 of Kashi's puppies on Sunday. Hopefully Theresa
will bring them. Monday morning they get HC and then I
go to Huntsville to meet Gail who will take them to an
overnight and then pick them up for their flight Tuesday
morning. Looks like a few days break after that, but
I'm sure the calendar will not remain clean.
|4/26: Levi is really doing good at the house.
He wanted to sleep on the bad last night, so his night time
is still spent closed on the other side. Gracie Lynn
is still weird. I can't leash her or spray her for
fleas. She still has her stitches in. She just
reads my mind. People coming today to meet the dogs.
they look like great adopters from both the application and
from our conversations. They would be a good situation
for just about any of them.
Allergies have not let up. Allerga is useless.
Claritin is semi-useful. Benadryl knocks them out but
it also knocks me out. Irie is miserable too.
She has an appointment on Wednesday. Not sure if hers
is seasonal allergies of eye infection or food.
Another money pit.
|4/25: Allergies! Been up since midnight
waiting for the Allegra to kick in. Not working.
Switched bedrooms and closed out the dogs. that didn't
work either. Knee is bad again. I've just
overdone it. Tim will have to bring in the 11 bags of dog
food. Staying put after I feed until I have to take Parker
in to the vet at 2:30. Potential adopter coming
tomorrow. Volunteer 'coordinator' for a local group
was going to meet with me yesterday. Never showed up.
Inconvenienced my whole day. It's 5:30 a.m. and almost
time to get up and I've not been to sleep at all.
LATER: Almost got to sleep and Hanna climbed up on the
bed and stuck her nose under the covers looking for my head.
I know she lays out in something and brings it in. I
thought I was going to choke to death when the 3 minute
siege of sneezing started. This is also a bad tick
year. Tim has sprayed twice and they are still bring
them in. And my full gallon of spray is missing.
$200 worth of concentrate. We have both looked
everywhere for it. Can't imagine anyone walking off
with it. It is not like something anyone would
recognize.... Geeze, I hope the people picking up for the HS
donations didn't accidently grab it... I just thought of
that. It is the last time I saw it.
|4/22: Another sleepless night. Long day and
I am tired. Just can't seem to get to sleep.
Seems if I get close, somebody barks. Irie got the
bark collar on. Hate doing that. Some dog down
the road is barking worse and more incessantly then mine so
mine have to have the last word.
Lady came yesterday and stayed thru today. Wish she
lived closer. She was really good with the dogs.
We got a lot of socialization done with Pepsi, Fraz and
Freedom. Also a lot of mats out. That Komondor
coat can sure clump together fast.
Had to put up a hotwire and move Gracie Lynn to the
back yard where Irie had been. She is now with Levi
again. She enjoys playing with him but she wants to
either be with me or off roaming the country without me.
I worry someone will run over her or shoot her. I
hated moving her out of the house but I just can't hotwire
over 1000 feet of fence. Doing about 150 was bad
Leslie got groomed. We tried to get Michael to load but
had to give up. Took Irie in his place.
Eventually Michael will be ok to ride. I just need to
really work at it.
Sahara goes in for a dental in the morning. I worry.
They will also do the nasel cranial duct cleaning. Not
sure if that is the cause of her eye running all the time.
Guess we'll know after the fact.
|4/17: Went to the grocery this morning.
$153. Usually just pick up a few items but Libby's
Natural Green Beans were on sale for 68 cents a can as was
their carrots. I stocked up. Literally emptied
the shelves. Vanilla and Peach frozen yogurt. Canned
pineapple, apple sauce, cottage cheese, liverwurst.
Clothes soap, fabric softener, dish soap. That was the
dogs part. For me I got a frozen cheese cake, 2 cans
enchilada sauce, four 98 cent "just add water" muffin mixes,
chocolate milk and a loaf of French bread. Fez watched
as I unloaded the bags. "For you, for you, for you,
for you, for me, for you for you, for you, for me." He
can't wait till I open the freezer door or pop open a can of
pineapple! He will know if I am getting me something
or something for him. He reads my intentions no matter
how I concentrate to the contrary.
|4/15: It's definitely one of those "I want to
quit" days. Fez stinks of infection so ran him into
the vet. Those drains are really pouring blood and
slime. Back seat spotted in blood. Leather.
Used baby wipes. Went back later to pick him up.
Cleaned off seat again. I have changed and washed the
blanket on my bed every morning. I have been mopping
the floor 3 times a day since Tuesday when he had them put
in. If the blood dries, it has to be really
scrubbed to come up.
I wish I could find Irie's OFF switch. She barely takes
a breath. She barks 24/7. She get hateful to
Michael this morning. So I moved her in Levis yard by
herself and moved Levi to the house with Gracie Lynn.
Closed off the door so they were confined to the back side.
She escaped 3 times and he ate 2 mattresses. (less
then 3 hours). I moved him in with Irie. Mistake.
Irie went after him over food. Gracie Lynn escaped
again. She wandered into the empty yard on the hill.
Tim was helping, thank God. Got Irie and Levi
separated and put Levi on the hill with Gracie Lynn.
Forgot I had mattresses in the new dog house there.
Mattress number 3 bit the dust! I got number 4 out
before he started on it. I doubt anyone of the 3 dogs will
be in their yards in the morning. Right now I feel
like if they get out, so be it. I'm just too darn
tired and stressed to give a damn... Or at least I
should be.. I just want to cry!
My knee is miserable again....
arrived in Cleveland. JJ seems thrilled from her
Facebook post. He is such a perfect dog she won't help
but love him immensely.
Angel is in a
great foster home. Randi is very diligent in reporting
concerns and affirming instructions. I am so grateful
for that. I'd rather have someone ask a dozen times
then make a mistake.
She is a good girl but
Michael is intimidated by another presence in his space.
I'll need to move Irie somewhere because Michael was making
great progress at going inside and I don't want that to
transitioned back into the house just fine. I think he
really missed the love seat and sofa. He had a crib
mattress in his outside house, but it's not the same.
He is so darn big that he couldn't stretch out on it.
Fez had his teeth
cleaned and while under, had a drain put in the lump on his
belly. It is draining a lot! The floor needs
mopped several times a day or the blood/goopy stuff is hard
to get off the floor. Good thing it's all tile.
Now my blanket on my bed is a different story. He was
up and down several times last night. Some soaked
through to the sheets. Anyway, I will be washing the
Levi needs a
friend to play with. I wish I could make
stay there with him. She gets out. I am not sure
the others would let him in the house. And he is a
puppy! Too many decisions.
Wind is really blowing. I am afraid of wind.
It makes me very nervous. Sky is overcast. A
gloomy Sunday. I need sunshine and just a light breeze
to perk me up. Tim and I got a lot done in the last 2
days. Good thing because nothing but bare necessities
will get done today.
|4/11: Letting Solo go today is so hard. I just
wish I could vanish with him and all the others... but I
barely have time for a dozen, let alone 2 dozen. I was
bound to the wheelchair for 3 days. Neighbor brought
down a brace which I slept in 2 nights. Knee felt
really good until yesterday morning when I had to take Fez
to the vet. He loves to ride and he reads my mind.
He almost pulled me down. The knee twisted again.
I had to suffer through yesterday with his trip to and from
and 3 grooming trips back and forth. Suffering today
but can't let it get me back in the wheelchair. Too
much to do.
I'm very angry. People totally neglected a dog
for 3 years. So many excuses and LIES. I just
want to beat the crap out of both of them. Especially
him. A big mouth, know it all, fat slob who doesn't
know shit about what he's talking about. I've learned
if you keep your mouth shut and listen, you really find out
truths about who people really are inside. So here is
this poor dog who I have already spent $200 on who probably
should just be euthanized. I don't have the heart.
Also I don't have a place to put her. She needs eye
med and ear med and pills several times a day. I can't
put that responsibility on Tim but I can't be going up and
down the hill. And even if I could, she is use to
being inside, not alone out in a yard. She will be
much better off physically with me but not at all well off
emotionally. She is just an old dog, probably a
Brittany mix, but like them all, they need to feel loved.
And I am very insecure. I'm scared. Both for the
dogs I am making decisions for and myself. I've always
had someone to break my fall. To be a support to lean
on. To give input on my decision making. To love me in
spite of my idiosyncrasies. I want Loren back
but God is not going to resurrect him. If I die, I
won't have him either. He is with his first wife,
the true love of his life. I'll have a lot of dogs
waiting for me.... But for now I have got to stay
healthy and able bodied.
I feel like the person on the boat at sea. Water
everywhere but not a drop to drink. Dogs everywhere to
love me but not a partner to hug me.
|4/7: Another spring storm. Parker is in the
tub. I'm in a wheel chair. Knee went out
completely while I was tracking down escapees.... who got
skunked. Tim moved into the apartment so luckily, I
have help. Kashi and pups are at Theresa's. they
are really getting cute. Tomorrow I'll post pix she
|2/30: Unless I get help, Michael will be the last
dog this rescue takes. I drove 2 + hours to get him.
Had to have Linda come home with me and sit in the back of
the SUV with him. I asked several people to come with
me but was turned down. There were people who would
have said yes, but I needed someone with strength and dog
handling capabilities. Before Linda ended up in the back
with Michael, he managed to chew through the ties holding
the folded up crate I used as a barricade between the back
and the front seats. Then he swiftly chewed both
seatbelts in two. He was working on the plastic
covering on mine when I found a place to stop and have Linda
get in the back. He laid his hard in her lap as she
set on the floor bounced around in the back with no body
support. He is a wonderful dog. Just scared. I
bite my fingernails, Michael chews seatbelts.
What can I say.
My knee is shot. Yesterday really finished it
off. Having that foot on the gas pedal for a total of
10 hours really took it's toll. Once finally home at
7:55 (having left at 8 a.m.) I went back down and checked on
Michael. He was fine. My knee was not.
Then I heard the dogs. This was not a normal sound.
Out in the upper yard Colby and Solo were going at it.
This was not your typical 'get over it' type fight. It
was really bad. Thank God they both have very thick
coats. It was dark. I had a huge flashlight.
I tried separating them to no avail. The hose was not
near long enough to get. I would pull one off and the
other would not let go. I went and got the Vetrycin.
It is to heal wounds but is also safe for the eyes. It
was the only thing I could think of since my water bottle
spray had broke and I never replaced it. Trips
back and forth to the house took several minutes. I
tripped and fell twice. I landed on a sharp rock once.
My left elbow is bruised. I'm sure that shoulder is
dislocated. It looks weird and hurts like hell. My
left thigh hit the big sharp rock and is red hot and swollen
still this morning.
They must have fought for 15 minutes before I got the gate
open. It was the big 'drive through' gate as it was
the only separating available. But they BOTH went
through it. I got it hooked before the others got out.
I finally got Colby in the side gate and led Solo to an
empty yard. I came back to the house and closed off
the back section of the house. For some reason
something stopped me from moving Solo just then. I
went back to look for Colby. He had crossed over
before I had closed off the back. This is a steep hill and I
fell several times. There was no moon and it was so
dark and the flash light was not cooperating. I think
I damaged it beating them over the head with it earlier.
If I had not found Colby and moved him, I would have put
them back together. I checked Colby over good and then
closed him in the garage yard. Brought Solo back to
the back part of he house. Checked him over for
anything serious. Nothing found.
By now it was 11:00 p.m. I had to take a bath. I
spent over 15 minutes after the water drained trying to
figure out how to get out. Bad right knee and
dislocated left shoulder. Not a lot of support options.
Panic was setting in. I was to a point of just pulling
all the towels out of the cabinet and just sleeping in
there. After a lot of tears, I finally managed
to get out and get to bed. I hurt all over. No
way to lay.
This morning is no better. I'm an hour behind
feeding time but I don't know how I will get the lower dogs
fed. My neighbor who would do it sleeps until noon and
today is Sunday so not any other options. No way will
I be able to fill water if they dumped it.
|3/27: Loren has been gone a year today. It
hardly seems possible. More like only a few months.
Time just passes so quickly.
Duddits (aka Ivory) died yesterday. I have cried
more for her then I did for Bear and Sissy. Victoria
is such a special person and for her to have gone through so
much pain losing her. Victoria is such a positive
person. I admire her beyond words. I feel so
guilty that I had not known Duddits would get so sick.
Candy losing Linus. Sue losing Jericho. All were
with their people for such a short time. Just months.
I have a hard time focusing on the ones who have been
blessed with their dogs for years. When one of my
rescues dies, it takes a piece of me just as if they were
still here. But someone else is grieving so it makes
it that much harder. People I grew to love are
Kashi moved 2 of her pups today outside into an igloo.
I put them back and she moved them again. I ended up
closing the doggie door. Will go down again before
dark and let her out to pee and then lock her back in.
Two Aleve and a hot bath each night has helped
the knee but by the third trip up and down the steps it is
horrid again. Finally broke down and started the VA
paperwork to get insurance. I just don't understand a
lot of what they are asking but my neighbor will help.
I have got to catch Fraz. He is the only
one that I have not been able to corner and check his
collar. Everyone else needed theirs let out several
inches. I am really worried it is getting tight.
I left Emo's off because he is too hard to re-catch. I
will leave Fraz's off too. Cola never got her stitches
I am so very tired.......
|3/23: Heeler puppies leave Tuesday. they
will be going to Colorado to a heeler rescue. I
managed their wormer all by myself. I took down a red
marker and marked a paw of each one as I gave it to them.
Today's color was red. Tomorrow's color will be black.
Tuesday will be green and then it's done and they are off on
their trip. I forgot how much puppies can poop!
I dread all the incoming dogs.
My knee is just shot. I am now dragging that leg.
I can't lift it. It will bend but really hurts and
can't put weight on it when it's bent like going down
stairs. If it's straight, I can at least balance
myself on it to move the other leg. I'm starting to
use the golf cart but even pressing the peddle hurts.
I should have bought that walker at the thrift store last
week. It had a basket and seat. I don't remember
which thrift store it was at. Won't have time
tomorrow. Need to get the puppies in for health checks
and HC for transport. I need to fill out the VA
paperwork to get medical coverage. My 3 years of FREE
insurance was not only a joke, it is canceled as of April 1
after only one year. They denied ever telling me it
was for 3 years and I can't find my notes on the phone
conversations. there was a bunch! If I can find
the exact time and person I talked to "they will look into
it". It wasn't covering anything anyway.
Had a lovely daughter bring her mother by to look at
the dogs. Mom wanted one of Kashi's puppies but mom is
in her 80's. I really wish they would consider Solo.
They live right near Riley's adopters and Solo and Riley
were buddies. But daughter said her dad would freak at
such a big dog. Solo probably is about 140 pounds.
They fell in love with Hanna. Hanna was not in the
offering because of all her health issues but that did not
seem to matter to them. She loves me.
I love her. She shares my pillow. But she also
has to share my attention. there she would be a
spoiled only child. I'm torn, but nothing has moved
forward so I'll face any decision only when I have to.
The cull pack got delivered. It has enough lumber
on it to completely make 2 more 8 x 12 dog houses.
Total material cost with what I already got in cull packs
will be about $300 for 2 buildings. A far cry from the
$2000 I spent on the original one 4 or 5 years
Off to see if I can manage getting into the tub.
Glad it's getting warm weather. Maybe I'll just take a
shower. Took me a really long time and all the water
drained out last night before I could do my beached walrus
moves to get out.
|3/20/: Loren will have been gone a year in one
week. No, it does not get easier.
Had to hire help to get the place cleaned up.
So far I've paid out $200 and looking at another $200 to
$300 to finish up. My knees are shot. I can
barely get around. Insurance runs out March 31.
I've got to hang on until I can get the VA insurance.
I've not even done the paperwork because I get confused and
start to cry. It takes 4 to 6 weeks for the approval
to come through. Even if I end up in a wheel chair for
a few weeks, I am not doing anything that will cost me
everything that supports these dogs. Just looked it up
online for this area. $10,000. And that of
course does not cover hospital operating room or anesthesia
or recovery room. When Loren broke his wrist and they
put a pin in, the operating room for less then an hour was
$6800 and the recovery room just till he woke up, less then
an hour, was $6300. A broken wrist was over $20,000.
It's those 'hidden' costs that give you a heart attack and
kill you, making surgery pointless.
Did I mention we have puppies? Kashi had 7.
43 days after arrival. They were born the night of
3/15. She came pregnant. If she had to have puppies, I
wish they had been from a botched neuter of Solo. That
is who she was with here. But 4 of the little ones are
dark colored and 43 days is over 2 weeks shy of gestation.
I'm already working on getting them into Mountain Pet Rescue
in Colorado when they are old enough. There are such
good adopters there and I really trust this group.
The 8 heeler pups come tomorrow. Got to go get
them. Still have not decided where I will put them.
Have some kennel panels but not sure where to put them.
Have 2 spare igloos for them. They will be going
to a Cattle Dog Rescue in Colorado. Transportation is
in the works.
Then I got a call about a daddy Pyr and 2 momma yellow
labs, each with pups and 2 pups left from a previous litter
of same. They should be adoptable. Waiting on
pix before I agree. They will neuter the male and the
2 one year olds but the mommas are still nursing as puppies
are just new born and 2 weeks old. No, I have not a
clue where they will be put. If no one takes them, the
city will and put them down. Maybe in 2 months I can
send all the puppies to Colorado. I need a committed
partner that is here, close, to help.
|3/14/14: The best laid plans & Murphy's law
collide. I loaded the SUV to go to Springfield to sell
the cameras. This was a one time chance to get rid of
the film cameras and actually get a little money for them.
I worked for a week lining up transportation for Sunday for
Kashi to go for her surgery. The transport fell apart.
I worked on getting that back in place. Ready to head
to Springfield and get a message from Kashi's foster.
She is sure she is going into labor. Last week it was
decided it was a false pregnancy since Jeanine and Bridget
insisted she had not had a chance to get pregnant.
Scrapped Springfield plan. They brought Kashi in and
sure enough, ultra sound shows 7 puppies. Back on the
phone canceling transport and postponing the surgery.
Cleaned out straw from the igloos and set up them, a crate
inside and a wading pool inside with blankets. I'm
sure she will find somewhere else to have the pups but I
gave her plenty of nice options. Got a call on a young
Pyr which I am picking up tomorrow. Solo needs
company. Not heard back on the abandoned momma, daddy
and 4 Pyr pups Linda heard about that I said I would take.
So if we add it all up.... 22 here, 7 puppies being born, 8
heeler puppies coming, 1 Cabool Pyr, Pyr family of 6 =44!
It was just yesterday I was groaning about 36!!
|3/8: Snow is almost gone. Time to look
forward to MUD!! Hopefully next weekend I can get
people for a clean up day. I left a message with the
Boy Scout troop and the 4H club but no one has returned my
calls. I think I will sic Debby on them. She
will get results. I need to call the septic guy.
We discussed at length that I needed my leaf mulcher out
before he sealed the pipes for the drain. Well, he
didn't move it. Tongue weight is easily over 100
pounds and it is over 5' high. He is going to have to
figure something out as I need it out. I am just tired
of mess. My place is starting to look "Arkansas".
I decided that the washer was never going to give up
the socks it ate so matched up what I could and threw the
rest away. I'll never wear panty hose again.
Those are getting tossed. Found a very risqué
Victoria's Secrets undie set. One size fits all.
His and hers. (blush) If I knew anyone who would not
be offended and get a good laugh, I'd anonymously mail them.
Then I moved to the medicine cabinet and bathroom drawers.
Expiration dates back to 1996!!! I wasn't even in this
life then. I've already filled up a 30 pound dog food
bag with expired chap stick, abyssal, benadryl, aspirin,
etc. Even some band aids that were disintegrating.
|3/4: Today I am someone else! I ate
breakfast first. Then I took care of the dogs.
It is always the other way around. After shoveling the
snow off both set of stairs and then sweeping them for good
measure, I came in soaked. I took off my boots and
decided I would just run around in dry socks. Forget
the shoes. Something I never do. I took off my
sweatshirt and put it on a chair. Then on second
thought, I put it in the hamper. I usually will wear
one several days and just let the sleeves dry out each
night. I took off my wet levis and put them in the
hamper. Normal after 2 days. Then I put on
another pair of levis. The zipper broke in the
process. Now the biggest 'not me' moment; I rolled
them up and threw them away!!! Even in spite of the
holes in the knees and the way I hate the way they fit, I
normally would have put them aside to replace the zipper in
summer and cut them off as shorts. But they are in the
trash to stay! I decided to spend the day in sweats.
Another monumental 'not me' moment. I see some
positives in these 'not me' moments but I also see some
negatives. I wonder 'who' tomorrow will bring.
The old me, the new me or a mix.
|3/2/14: Ice and a few snow flurries. I over
fed this morning just in case it is too rough to go out this
evening. I hate doing that, but better then them being
too hungry. I wore my new strap on 'cleats' one of my
adopters gave me. They helped give me some grip on the
deck and stairs. I still had to make 2 trips as didn't
dare carry 11 full food bowls all at the same time.
Would have really helped if I had the railing on the back
stairs. They are so much closer and easier to go down.
Maybe someday. The way Mike built the stairs, I have
no clue how to attach the railing posts other then with ugly
I got the door hung on the new dog house. Got it
for $10. Steel with a window but no hinges or frame so
had to improvise. It is not perfect, but it opens and
closes so that is good enough. Lifting that sucker and
holding it in place and screwing in the screws all by myself
was quite a feat. Still have to fill in a gap on the
side. Still have the interior to do, but that can wait
until I get help. Lifting and cutting 4x8 sheets of
heavy paneling by myself is not a good idea. The dogs
can't use the dog house until I get the fencing back around
it, the doggie door opening cut and a set of steps or a
ramp. It is 2' off the ground on that one side and the
land continues to drop off so will take about 5' to make it
easily accessible for them.
I want to have a clean up day next Saturday. I'm
thinking of asking the train guys to volunteer. I
could also ask a scout group or 4H club. It is mostly
just raking leaves, picking up left over lumber and
reorganizing kennel panels.
|3/1/14: Heading out to give puppy shots.
Betty is going with. Nice weather, thank God.
Got a pretty decent nights sleep for a change. Woke up
in a good mood which traveled downward as I tried to clean
house. I am so tired of mud and dead leaves; in the
house and out in the yards.
Working on an application to foster Kashi. Will
go to Salem tomorrow for a visit and let them meet her and
meet them. I hope I get good vibes.
Got an application for Colby. I am struggling
through it because I didn't realize how attached I am to
him. Same with the ones who mention Cotton. I
really think I am going to keep him unless the applicant is
perfect in every way. He has that Keeton look that
pierces my soul. I have got to get him into the house.
I just feel so terrible I can't give all of them all the
attention they should have. Adding more takes away
from the ones already in the house. A crappy situation
when I have no one else here.
A friend is really
helping raise money and working on grants. The other
rescue really does not know what they lost when they started
treating her like crap. I am so grateful to have her
|2/26/14: A wonderful work week. Janine and
Bridget left this morning. So much got
accomplished. What amazing ladies. I so enjoyed
their company and learning so much from both.
|2/21/14: Too much going on and my brain is not
working. Great ladies came to help. Amazing.
If the guys I hired had half their energy and half their
intelligence, I might have gotten twice as much done before
and at half the cost.
I do have just too much on my agenda right now. 24 dogs
here. Above and beyond the normal daily
responsibilities: Trying to get dogs to vet.
Levi got neutered yesterday.... oh, he is a new one.
Need to pick him up this morning. Kashi saw Rob.
The surgery on her neck lump will have to be done in
Columbia, MO. and soon. Cola has got to get her spay
stitches out. Way overdue. The ladies will help
me load her this morning. She is so scared. Fez
needs his lump looked at again. It has grown to the
size of a soft ball. Sahara has runny eyes that are
really getting bad.. Then there is the non-dog dog stuff
(yes "dog dog" is intentional) Trying to finish rescue
taxes. Two applications to process. Five phone
messages just from last night needing returned.... the list
|2/14/14: It took me almost one hour to feed and
water just the 3 dogs in the lower yard. It warmed
yesterday so snow melted, but the water had no where to go.
It must have hit freezing last night because this morning
was a sheet of ice between the shop and their yard.
There was just no where to get a foot hold. The train
club guys park down there so it packed solid where their
tires had been, which was almost everywhere. I should have
gotten my mail yesterday. When I finished the
gymnastics of caring for the dogs, I ventured down the
driveway. That was pretty scary also. In the
mail was a pair of those cleat things you put on your shoes
for grip. I put them on my spare shoes and next time I
go out the door, I will give them a try.
Princess is coming back. I am heartsick, but it is for
the best. The adopter is heartsick also, but Princess
attacked his brothers very passive Golden. I really
don't think correcting this aggression would be an easy
task. When she found out she could get away with going
after Hanna, Hanna became the constant target. I
thought it was just a Hanna thing, but obviously she looks
for a weak, passive dog to dominate. The adopter
is bringing her all the way back. A 5 hour drive one
way. I feel just terrible she has caused him such a
problem. He is such a nice young man. Princess
will go back up for adoption to an 'only dog' home where
they don't do a lot of socialization at dog parks or with
family members who have dogs, etc. This is really
going to limit her adoptability. So now I am down to 1
very adoptable (Sasha Ann) and 1 pretty much adoptable
(Solo, because he's older), 3 maybe someday (Pepsi, Leslie &
Cotton because they are semi social), 6 not even close to
ready (Patty, Pumpkin, Emo, Fraz & Freedom are still quite
feral) and 3with major health issues (Colby, Kashi and
Cola). Then we have the 8 sanctuary dogs who will
never leave because of old age and health issues. So
looking at my rescue realistically, I'm 'done'. I will
be supporting 20 dogs for the rest of my or their lives.
This was not my plan, but obviously this is what is meant to
be. But I have got to find help or they will outlive
me in the near future and many will have no where to go.
Only a handful of us will take old, sick dogs.
|2/12/14: I was about in tears this morning.
The dogs water was froze again and so was the outside
faucets. I had to break the ice and then carry them to
the shop, thaw them out and then make double trips to take
them back because I could only carry them half full one at a
time. So I would pour the second into the first and
then so on. I am just getting more and more
overwhelmed and frustrated every day. I did get the
DGP (Dog Gone Pain) that I use to use faithfully and then
just got sidetracked. I ordered 24 bottles because I
have 7 dogs that need it. The meloxicam works good but
has side effects if used too long. I refilled the
prescription so I'd have it on hand, but I am going straight
DGP now. The 24 bottles (1440 pills) will last
me just under 3 months as each dog needs either 3 or 4 a
day. Being sure Cola gets hers is the biggest problem
since she is in with Pepsi and Fraz. I put hers on the
small deck in their yard and then hid around the corner.
I had to come out of hiding twice so Fraz would not take it.
Finally Cola went over and ate. I had a good view
looking through the window and then through the doggie door
opening in the big dog house. I was freezing but I was
not about to have the DGP wasted on a dog that does not need
Septic guy has still not showed up. I am really getting
pissed. Been months! Now the thing is not
working and we can't 'flush' in the shop. I told him I
needed a definite because I will have to move Freedom and
Leslie when they bring in the backhoe. Since I can't
walk them on leash, I need to take down 2 kennel panels and
switch them around so there is a gate between them.
Then I can just open the gate and they will go check out the
new accommodations. It will put them next to Cottons
yard. hopefully that will not cause too much fence
Went out and took pix of the Heeler puppies yesterday.
Puppies are so cute as long as someone else is taking care
of them. I'll go back in 2 weeks when they are ready for
their first puppy shot.
|2/7/14: Hopefully the snow and ice will melt
enough to clean up the poop before they run out of places to
go. I just can't stay outside long enough to even make
an attempt at it. I get so chilled just going down
ever 3 hours to break ice off the water. It freezes
over that fast. I just got back from doing one yard
with new water. I still have 2 to go that don't have
heat to keep it from freezing. I did make it slightly
warm for them all this morning, but know since these were
froze, so are the others. Thaw out and then go again.
My hips are really bad so worried I will be in trouble if
this keeps up.
Adopter will try to make it in tomorrow for Princess.
I'll introduce him to Sasha Ann too. I think Princess
is a better match but Sasha Ann was more what he had in
mind. I don't know how the others will ever get
adopted with all their ailments. People just don't
want to take on dogs with problems, emotional or physical.
And I really don't want to be Sanctuary to 20 dogs that are
only borderline adoptable. Not fair to them or my 8
already sanctuary house dogs.
Did make it to the grocery store today. I needed
to get to the feed store as will be cutting it close with
food for Monday. Weather does predict above freezing
and sun on Monday.
Sunday I'm going out in the middle of nowhere to take
pix of a stray Heeler and her new puppies. Said I
would try to help secure a 'Mom & Pup" rescue for them.
I know there are several good ones, but there is one I heard
euthanizes the mom and just places the puppies. I want
to be sure I learn which one it is so I don't deal with
them. They are young puppies. Their eyes are
just starting to open. They have shelter but need to
be inside. I don't have room, that is for sure.
If I did, my 6 that are without heat would be in it. I
need to find someone to ride along. I found it on the
map and drew it out but it is a long ways and I know I will
get really lost. I don't have a cell phone so that
makes it really scary.
|2/4/14: Snow and more snow. The poop is
piling up but I'm not about to look for it under the snow.
The neighbor dogs were down again the last 2 mornings.
I had to call this morning for them to come get them.
They are really sweet dogs, but I was carrying food bowls
and kind of got knocked down. It is so slick out there
just the slightest bump and I went down. Two hours
later and I'm starting to feel the effects. My butt
and wrist hurt right away, but now a few more muscles are
Atmo left Sunday for his forever home. The first
24 hours have gone wonderfully. He has snuggled with
the cat! He is doing fine with the little dog.
Yeah for Atmo. Only thing he did do wrong was tried to
'mark' the house when he went in.
Kashi is being snarky at Solo but they will work it
out. I have gotten after her several times.
He was wanting in and every time he would try she would bark
at him. I had the yard lights on and was watching from
my window. I went down at 3 a.m. in boots and bathrobe
in the snow so he could go inside. I did have a big
discussion with Kashi.
I was so worried about Cotton in this cold. He
has been staying in the igloo. I brought him up
about 4 yesterday and kept him in the dog room until just
before dark. He seemed physically ok and the other 3
were having a fit without him so I put him back. If
the snow was not so deep, I would go get him again and put
him in my room and take a nap with him. I just don't
have the energy to go out in this mess again. Feeding
and watering was enough and still have a repeat this
|2/1/14: Ever just get those bad feelings like
something else is going to go terribly wrong? I had
nightmares about snakes last night. Wrong season for
snakes and nothing that would have triggered the nightmare.
I don't like snakes but I am not like insane when I see one.
Anyway, had to move Solo into the yard on the hill. It
is going to be too cold to leave him there. If it will
just not freeze tonight, I'll be ok. People are coming
for Atmo tomorrow so Solo can go in the shop with Sasha Ann.
Following weekend Princess will be going to her new home...
I just hope the weather holds and that big storm prediction
is gone before the weekend. When I went to the store,
I saw a neighbors tarps sheltering their chickens ripped to
shreds. It was one of those heavyweight ones, not the
cheap blue ones. They had just put it up less then a
week ago. If it rains and freezes, I will have a
terrible time getting down to the dogs to feed. I am
getting very afraid to be alone. I have a little
emergency thing similar to 'life alert' that beams off
satellite and has GPS so if I do fall. But I am just
And on the same subject, I have decided to have some signs
made that says "Emergency personnel: Before entering
Call ------- and vet ------- . If my dogs were hurt, I
would not want to live so do not enter until one or the
other comes to escort you in." I think everyone who is
ever alone with their dogs should have this sign on their
doors. Your dog is going to protect you from strangers
if you are hurt. Don't want some cocky "hero" shooting
your dog to get in. And Fez would eat a stranger if he
felt they were a threat to me.
|1/30/14: So cold again today. Had a brief
warm spell yesterday. Glad I got alot done. Had
someone help me clean house so it got done plus I was able
to get the poop scooped. I need to get the back yard
picked up but just too cold.
New dog coming. Kashi is 10 months old with a lot
of health issues. She will be here in about 2
hours and I have not figured out where I will put her.
Got to do something pretty quick so if it doesn't work, I
can have time to try something else. The ladies will
spend the night in the apartment.
I'm just in one of those 'do nothing' moods.
Just too darn windy out. About 20 degrees and 25 mph
winds so feels like minus10.
|1/27/14: I started a firestorm on Facebook.
Do I care? No. I was told politics had no
business on a Rescue page. Rescue is politics.
We save animals. We try to pass laws to save animals.
We try to elect people who will be advocates for animals.
Take politics out of the equation and you have no hope.
Sometimes I wish I could bury my head in the sand too, but
without fighters for rights, human or animal, there is no
future. It was interesting to see how many people
actually do read my FB posts. It was also ironic that
the people who raised such a furor "will not support my
rescue". Well, you know, they never have and never
intended to. Also, they are not 'rescue' people.
They may have 'adopted' a stray or are 'animal thinkers' but
I don't think any of them get their hands dirty scooping
poop or being slimed by the drool from a nervous dog or
wiped snot from a runny nose on their sleeve. So back
to warming up after a freezing morning feeding dogs,
breaking ice and changing the water and scooping frozen
|Alert! I have
mentioned this person before about a year ago. Steer clear
of April Westling "Loved Me But Left Me Rescue" from Leslie,
AR. She also goes by another last name that is similar
in spelling. She is not a 501C3 either so collecting
donations is misleading and collecting for another rescue
that was not aware nor gave permission.. well, I'm sure the
other rescue will not see a dime.
And while I am at it, another one lurking out there is
Jackie Smith of Castaway Critters in Arkansas. (there
are other groups called Castaway Critters in other areas and
states so please don't think they are associated as they are
not) Jackie hops around between Ash Flat, Harrison,
Lead Hill, etc. She has a felony conviction for
beating a woman who was trying to stop her from beating a
dog. It is public record.
|1/24/14: 1:55 am. Fez has half the bed.
Sweetness has a fourth. Since Fez is in the middle,
head down, butt on my pillow, I was left with less then 14"
on the edge. Every time I'd try to move away, he'd
move closer. I really wish I could sleep because I
love having him so cuddled to me. And they are all so
quiet. No barking. The moon is behind clouds.
It is so peaceful except in my mind. Who will die
next? Sahara is going through a rough spell.
Blood work good but her eyes are running so bad. She
just has that 'look' of feeling bad and has been so clingy.
I'm scared. I'm scared about a lot of things and they
won't leave my brain. The happy me has vanished.
Too much grief. Too much loss. And I know more
is on it's way. I know all the sayings. All the
emotional survival rules. So much easier said then
done. I want to fix things. Living things.
My grandson. My elderly dogs. My relationships.
Me. I can't even fix me. 2:07 am. Back to
bed.. hope Fez left me a little room. I'll just hug
his butt since that is the end on my pillow.
|1/23/14: Don't know where he day went.
Almost 3 and I feel like it should only be noon. I did
go get dog food. Did hit the thrift stores. Also
got some coolers for the dogs water. HD had them for
$9.97. Everywhere else I see them including on line
they have been $18.99 so I scooped up 3 and one for $2 at
the thrift store. Won't be using the big ones again
until summer. This will make things easier for me as
carrying 2 smaller ones is easier then carrying one big one.
I had not planned to go to the Salvation Army store but
something drew me there. I found the crib mattress and
cover I gave Janet for her dog. I bought it. I
was saddened that the family did not give it to me, but then
in situations like this, people are not really thinking
rationally. We just try to get through each day as
best we can. I do worry about the dog, wondering if
they kept it. She so loved her big boy and just beamed
when she would talk about him.
I tried to find the right size tarps to eliminate the fence
fighting between Freedom and Atmo but Greggs was out.
Lowes and HD didn't have the right size. I forgot to
try Orschlans. 12 x 20 makes it simple. I can
just throw half the 12' width over the fence and spread the
20' along 2 kennel panels. Perfect fit and only a few
zip ties. Odd sizes like 9' or 10' are too much
trouble to put up by myself. Too tired to run back to
town. Guess they will just fight in the morning again!
|1/21/14: Golly, thought it was the 19th today.
I've really lost track of time. A week ago Saturday,
Janet died. It was a week before I found out.
She was so great with the dogs. I am still ... well,
it just does not seem real. More like I will wake up
from a dream and she will be sitting down there with
Freedom. I'm heartbroken. We just never know
what tomorrow will bring or if we even have a tomorrow.
Sasha Ann came a week ago today. She is a good puppy.
Needs to learn some manners and stop jumping on people, but
other then that, for only 7 months old she is a far cry
better then Princess who is about a year old.
Colby has a vet appointment tomorrow. We will schedule
surgery on his leg. We were hoping it would heal, but
it just goes in and out. I'm really scared of the
'careful' period as I just don't have a way to control him
without locking everybody in. I could put him in the
shop and bring Atmo to the house, but oh, what a pain that
would be. I'd have to keep him separated and there
would still be fence fighting. Atmo is not really bad,
just him and Fez have their differences.
Someone is down there crying. Sounds terrible.
Not sure if it is Solo, Atmo, Princess or Freedom.
That general direction.
I'm trying to find someone to move into the apartment
in exchange for helping me with the dogs. I can't
believe how people just don't want to work. It use to
be lines for a job and people doing their best to get it.
Now it is the unemployed who look at you like "I will let
you know if I WANT the job". Crazy.
|1/13/14: Cecelia came today and we brushed
Pumpkin, Patty, Emo and Cotton. It was great.
This is the first time Patty has relaxed! She made no
attempt to run, but then Cotton was resting on her and
Pumpkin was resting on him. It was quite a stack.
At times we were not sure which dog was getting brushed.
They just all blended. Patty had already started to
cord again from her comb-out a few months ago. Since I
have not a clue how to make the cords go right, I just
combed them out so she would not be a matted mess. Emo
was not in the stack but hid in the igloo. Cecelia is
a tiny person so she crawled in with him and brushed him.
Atmo is still in the shop. I feel so bad but I am just
concerned with the tension between him and Fez. Once
they start they don't let up. I just need a few days
break before I bring him back to the house. I've made
a few mattress covers so I could keep him company and been
walking him twice a day. Guilt trips.
Picking up Sasha Ann tomorrow. Lady will bring her to
Clinton and Deb will get her there and bring her to Mountain
View. Then I'll get her from there. Three and a
half hours split between the 3 of us is not so bad.
Sasha Ann is a Pyr/ASD/Golden mix. Looks ASD.
I'm going to see if the NASRN will take her under their
rescue and I'll just be the foster. They will have
better chance of placing her. While she is here she
will share space with Solo. I'd like to put her with
Atmo, but she is only 6 months old and will probably eat the
Not heard from Janet or Mike in weeks. He still needs
to finish my step railing. From now on, no one gets
paid for any hours until the entire project is complete.
I have got to get someone in the apartment who can help with
the dogs water and poop scooping. My body is not
holding up to the lifting. I'm just afraid of another
re-run of the experience with my grandson. I need to
take a leap of faith and advertise.
|1/10/14: Iced in for several days. So
between the flu and then the ice, I've been stuck. Dog
fight several days ago between the wild ones. I had to
have neighbors help load 2 up. I didn't even know
which 2 I took in. Just the ones with blood all over
them. It turned out to be Fraz and Cotton. We
scanned them at the vet's so we would know who they had.
Anyway, they were there several days because I was iced in.
I hated leaving them there. Picked them up this
morning. Cotton first because I knew I could get him
to walk on lead. Then back for Fraz. I had no
idea if I would be successful with him lose in the car but
once in, he didn't want to get out. Pouring rain.
Drenched. Finally after about 20 minutes of coaxing in
the downpour, I resorted to tugging. I'd still be out
there if I hadn't. Then Fez in to have his stitches
out. He decided to sprawl out on the floor behind the
front desk. Ashley weighs all of about 90 pounds so
getting Fez to move was just not going to happen. Vet
came out and stitches were removed at Fez's convenience.
Lots of shuffling. Atmo spends the day on the back of
the house and Colby and Princess in with the house pack.
then I switch them at bed time. Moved Solo out of the
shop. Hated to, but had to move Cotton in. Solo
is going solo and I feel bad he does not have company.
If Princess does not settle down, she may find herself down
there with him. I will move Pumpkin into the shop with
Cotton. It will allow me a lot more time to work on
her socialization. Patty will stay with Emo.
Fraz is with Pepsi and Cola. I think that is going to
work. Putting Solo in there did not. He sort of
ran the show and I don't think they were getting to eat.
That will not happen with Fraz. And the girls will
accept him. They already have, standing out in the
rain with him.
Tomorrow people are coming to discuss volunteering.
Rileys adopter is coming to put up a light for me on the
shop. Potential adopters are suppose to come tomorrow
too. I have so many notes on my desk and so many
people have called about dogs that I don't remember who is
coming. I just know they have not filled out an
I know I am in way over my head without help. Some
times I just start to cry out of both frustration and
exhaustion. Right now I'm still soaking wet. I
need to feed the dogs. I need to feed me. Then I
will get in the tub and get warm. Then put on the new
snuggly sheets on the bed that an adopter bought for me and
cuddle with dogs and watch TV.
|Jan. 1, 2014: Hell of a way to end one year and
start the next. Flu bug got me. The dogs seem to
understand. Fez has stuck closer to me then usual.
I had to move Atmo to the shop. Breaking my heart.
I'll get him into the vet as soon as I can get myself well.
I know something is just not right with him. He has
been so awful to the other dogs. He'd always have a
little friction now and then, but the past few days it just
grew too quickly. I believe he is just stressed out
not having a human family of his own. Anyway, I will
rule out illness and pain first.