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Carol's Blog for 2015

The views and opinions expressed in this blog are the personal views of Carol and are not necessarily intended to reflect the views of the
Ozark Dogs Rescue Organization.

Be who you are and say what you feel...Because those that matter... don't mind...And those that mind... don't matter."

FYI: LGD=Livestock Guardian Dog, Pyr = Great Pyrenees, OES=Old English Sheepdog,  ASD=Anatolian Shepherd Dog, GSD= German Shepherd Dog, AC or ACO=Animal Control (officer) or Air Conditioner (as appropriate to make sense), HV=Home Visit. HW=Heartworm,  HS=Humane Society, HC = Health Certificate, Doxy=Doxycycline (a medication)
12/31:  Sally (aka Thumper) arrived. 
12/29: The trials of 'parenthood' to JoJo. Taking deep breaths and trying to keep a happy outlook....becoming hard when you go without sleep.

Had my weekly massage. Got home, cooked chicken for the dogs, fed, took a hot bath. Dozed off in the tub several times. Finally got out and clean pajamas on. Curled up with the wild ones to watch TV for an hour. Sounded like the house was invaded by 15 giant dogs (Oh, guess it was). Decided to retreat to the spare bedroom and give the 'other half' of the pack some 'bed' time. Stepped in something wet... Not water. Pajama leg got wet. slipped out of the bottoms only to turn the bedspread back and get a wet leg. Then the smell overwhelmed me. JoJo (not positive but most likely) had watered the side of the bed. Putting my glasses on, decided this could not wait until morning. Slipped into sweat pants (after washing my leg) and went out to the garage for the steam cleaning. Could not remember which of the 2 identical ones worked best. Dropped off the bedspread in the laundry room on the way. Drug in one cleaner only to find JoJo had opened the laundry room door and drug out the bedspread. I Got the vacuum out to go over the carpet first. It was clogged...totally. Could not remember the secret to getting inside to clean it out. Brute force finally accomplished that feat and I didn't even break anything. I had grabbed the steam cleaner that did not work very good. Half way through the steam cleaning it croaked. It quit picking up water. Now the carpet was really wet. Went and got the other one. Just picked up water with it. It seemed to be working good so I filled it and finished cleaning the rest of the carpet.... until it died. I turned it off to empty the bucket and then it would not turn on. Part of the carpet was/is really wet. Decided dirty dogs on wet carpet is way worse then just dirty dogs on dry carpet. So window got cracked open (38 degrees outside) and door got closed.

After half-ass putting everything up (rolling up cords and lining the dying machines up against the wall), I escaped back to my bedroom. Because the wild ones have only been eating at night inside, I could not let everyone in. JoJo and Dillon were disappointed so the playing began. By now it was after 2 a.m. Cola never wants to let anyone eat until she has had her fill. She barks at them.... and so that is how my night went...

Off to Lowes pretty soon to buy another steam cleaner. Maybe Tim can see if there is an electrical short in the one before I toss it. The other one is just contrary. Has been like this for years. I'll give it a rest and it will work on the tile floors. That way I can mop up what ever water it leaves behind.

12/27:  More rain.  Non-stop.  House smells like wet dogs... probably because it is full of them. 
      Got about 5 straight hours of sleep.  That 10 second nap yesterday did no good.  I went to be at 5:30!!!  Watched "Person of Interest" on Netflix.  Turned off the TV around 6:30 so the wild bunch would come back in the room.  The life size people and voices on the TV still worry them.  At least they are not freaking anymore.  Baby steps.  Was just about asleep a dozen times.  Cola and Pumpkin can be so vocal.  They did not want to let Fraz and Emo in.  And if I get up, then Fraz and Emo run.  So I just lay in bed calmly saying "Lets be nice.  No growling".  I gave up about midnight and went to the spare bedroom.   After calming Zelda so Sahara could come in, I petted until I fell asleep.  Hanna woke me up at 5:30, struggling to get on the bed.  We cuddled for about 10 minutes and then I got up.  Goofy needed out.  Chicken needed cooked for their breakfast.  I had not washed their dishes last night.  Wild ones ate all night so had those bowls to wash.  Made a breakfast cake while getting everyone fed.  It is still dark outside.  Tempted to go back to bed but I really need to organize something.... taxes, my desk, cabinets, the list is endless. 
     Evening:  I'm too old for JoJo.  He is such a wonderful goofball, but I am not fit enough for a 120 pound 5 year old puppy.  He has been crying out side sine I had to put him back when Dillon came back.  Could not stand it any more.  They are all getting along but he came in like a tornado.  Crib mattresses and toddler beds slid across the floor, dogs ran to hide.  He had to mark everything.  Had to counter surf.  One thing he does accomplish is making me be neat.  My desk is clear and so are the kitchen counters.  My breakfast cake is in the microwave for safe keeping.   Last time I put him in the 'his' bathroom but it was not raining.  I'm not sure which bed I will be occupying tonight.   I don't think he would eat the faucet handles off the tub in the spare bathroom, but who knows.   I had Tim bring up a crate. Thought I better be prepared. I'll be up and down letting him out to potty no matter where I put him.  My "c" still falls off my keyboard so I don't dare leave these door open. 
     He is obsessed with the crate.   He recognizes the pad and blanket and wants to get them out.  I'm sure they will be in pieces before morning.  I'll give him some stuffies which he will devour first.  I found the Kongs.  Hopefully that will keep him occupied.
12/26:   Ever tried to have a 10 second nap?  No, not dozing off at the computer.  Actually getting a blanket off the shelf, taking your shoes off, moving the dogs butt, who got on the bed before you, helping up another dog, snuggling under the blanket....  and then Goofy barks his "I need you" bark.  Exit is blocked by the wild ones.  I throw the blanket off (covering up Hanna),  slip into my shoes, not bothering to tie them, grab a leash and escort Goofy through the family room and out the door.  He stops.  He won't move.  He will not walk the 30' to the grass to go pee.  We just stand there.  He wants to go in the garage.  He hates car rides.  We stand there.  I drag him back inside.  Unleash him.  Turn on the heat. Leave the family room door open.  Hanna is still covered up.  I give up.  That moment of 'dozing off' is gone.  I uncover Hanna and throw the blanket over the pillow and here I am! 
     Yesterday was great weather.  Today is storms again.  Parker in the tub hiding. I'd like to sew but my back is hurting really bad.  Think a nerve is pinched.  Besides, if the thunder rolls again, I need to be near the dogs. 
12/25:   Merry Christmas.  My son posted pix of the kids opening presents.  I wish I had been there.  I miss family even more after deciding I needed to stay here at least another year.  I can do so much good with the money in the IRA since it is now tax free and my social security will not become taxable.  This is huge.  My biggest concern with moving was uprooting the old dogs.  Most are just too old to make have to readjust. When 5 of the 6 are gone, then I know it will be right to move. 
     I'm still going to get rid of a lot of stuff.  I'll be having yard sales all next year!  It will take that long.  I want thing fixed around here.  Floor polished.  Walls washed.  Small annoying things needing repaired.  That dining room set gone!  I want things neat, clean, and useful.  I still need JoJo and Beth Ann gone.  I need to get into the senior center with the poster for Beth Ann.  she would be perfect for an elderly person with no other animal.   JoJo will need someone active.  Dillon is fine here, but it would be so nice if he was where he could feel as special as he is.  Same with Louise.  So many applications, but none that are right for her.  Olaf, well, people do not know what they are missing with this goofball.  I so wish BDHP in Colorado would take Dillon, Olaf, JoJo and Louise.  They do such a great job of placing the dogs and I completely trust them.  Just not sure what I'll ever do with Lakota.  He really needs the right person.  I won't knowingly set him up for disaster. 
12/24:  Not moving.  A tax law I had been hoping for was made permanent so it is in mine and the dogs best interest to stay put.  Disappointed but I have to be practical.
12/23:  Huge storm all night. Broke just long enough for me to get the food bowls out for the wild ones for breakfast. No sooner got them laid out then it hit again so got soaked getting them back in. The wild bunch had no trouble being right on my heels heading inside. Storms do help their socialization.
       Parker freaked all night. He went from bathtub to bathtub to closet and back again. I was up most of the night anyway with a touch of food poisoning. So the poor guy kept trying to be close to me. In the tub when I hit the bathroom, and in the closet when I'd get in bed. He lost me once and went outside looking for me. I always do head counts. Ran out in the downpour looking for him. He was shaking with terror in the garage, I could not get him to move. I had not thought to grab a leash and he has no collar. I didn't want to leave him to run the 60' back to the house to get a leash so I took off my pajama top and wrapped around his neck. Yes, that left me half naked, but it worked and I got him back in the house and dry. Good thing I have several 'night clothes'.
      I switched back and forth between beds.  Everyone wanted near me.  Even the wild ones.  Dillon, Chipi and Hanna had to be on the bed with me.  I have determined the advantage to King over Queen.  Three huge dogs on a King and there is just enough room for me if they are arranged just right.  Queen size and I get left out.  The space that is mine on the King does not exist on a queen.
12/22:  Dillon went and is back.  He was a bit too interested in their cats.  Fixated is a good word. 
      I've turned down several applicants for Louise.  Alone 9 hours, 4' fencing, cats, chickens, just a lot of things that would not work to her benefit. 
      I should be cheering as Betty and Nancy were able to walk Cola, Leslie and Patty.  We are making progress.  They really did good. 
       I'm so emotionally tired.  I just want things to move faster while time stands still. 
7/15: Only one left outside is Beth Ann.  JoJo is back in the house with me.  Yards are coming down.  Interviewing realtors. Searching online property in Gooding, Idaho.  Hard to jump for the perfect house because I'd be in a bind if this one did not sell quickly.  But settling for some little place and then building might take so long.  Building would definitely be more costly and something already built. Just such a tough call.  I need faith that what ever I decide will be the right decision.  That is never easy for me.  I so wanted to move to Washington, but land, houses and DOG RULES are impossible.  Twin Falls is impossible too.  Gooding is small, friendly and I lived there for 10 years from 1980 to 1990.  I will have people who know me there.  Not like going there 'cold'.  I made wedding gowns for dozens of the women there.  I have a legacy. 
     I'm wishing it were not so close to Christmas.  I really want to start selling stuff I know I will not be taking with.  Trying before Feb. would probably be a waste of time.  I just sent an email to the model train club.  Maybe one of their members or friends is in the market.  I also made a vague post on FB to alert other rescues or potential rescuers. . 
12/7:  The stress for today.  Why does everything come at once.  Luckily I plan ahead.  Took Mint and Isabella in to the vet last week so I would be prepared to get the health certificates if they got on transport tomorrow.  They said it was unlikely,  but email last night said it's a "go".  So will drop off the paper for the HC this morning.  Then an appointment at 10.  Then pick up the HC after that.  Then another appointment in the afternoon.  My biggest stress will be tomorrow.  I will be driving in unfamiliar territory.  Going to a town I have not been to in well over 10 years.  Mint and Isabella are too big to fit in my friends vehicle so I have to drive them the whole way to their 'take off' place to KC and then on to Colorado.  I just do not handle driving anywhere anymore.  Terrified. 
    Evening:  Survived the day but missed my massage.  Trip to Rogers tomorrow so will try to get in on Wednesday.  My one hour of bliss in an otherwise crazy week.
    I've been wanting to move to Washington state to be near my daughter but getting very discouraged.  Prices are so high and dog restrictions are horrid.  So been looking at Idaho property to be near my son.  Prices are affordable but dog restrictions are even worse.  I will investigate surrounding counties later in the week.  I can't do that in WA because the county is so huge that to get in another county would put me over 2 hours from my daughter.  I don't want to be more then an hour from her.  Arkansas is not great, but at least one feels a sense of freedom on their own property. 
12/4:  Just heard one of the pair I saved a year ago died.  It hurts almost as bad as when one of the ones here dies.  I hate the agony of not knowing, but afraid to know.  Because I have been at this 13 years and Pyrs only live 13 years or less, I know there are many that have left this earth.  I should not be sad as their pain is gone and they are in a better place, but I just want every one of them to know love of a family for so many more years then they are given.  
     Beth Ann may get a home.  I'll send a muzzle and hopefully they will be able to get her over her dog aggression issues. 
      Dillon will be leaving soon.  Damn, I will miss him.  Mint and Isabella are going to Colorado.  Xena will not leave for another 6 weeks.  May be spring before Layne can get to MA.  Just JoJo, Louise and Olaf will be left besides the wild ones.  I feel so .....lost?  I know where my plan is headed but things never go quite as we think they might.  I just know I did not sign on to be mother to Tim.  I love that kid, but I need a helper not someone who needs help.  I take care of sick dogs.  I took care of Loren when he was sick.  I am not up to taking care of Tim since he is sick.  Life can really throw us unexpected curves and if we don't travel with them, we may end up in a ditch.
11/28: Time to get out the heaters. Only have to heat 2 yard houses.  Everyone else is inside.  JoJo will be under the deck next to the house.  It does not need a heater.  Sure different from last winter when I had 6 heaters going to keep the dogs warm.  Maybe my 'level' pay will drop under $500. 
   Has either rained or 'drizzled' all day for 2 days.  I let the wild ones out in the yard and they just lay out there for hours in the drizzle.  If it actually rains, they come inside.  But the drizzle still saturates them.  Their coat is really nothing like a Pyr.  It does not repel, just soaks it up. Their skin gets  wet and cold.  They are all huddled in my bedroom and the dog room with a bunch of bowls of food.  I don't even want to discuss the mud they have so generously shared.  Last weeks beautiful grooming is just a memory. 
     JoJo did not like being moved.  Crap.  I wish I could put him inside somewhere but I've mixed as best as I can.  If he came in, someone else would have to go out.  He is a heartbreaker but then they all are. 
     I did a count today.  3 times.  25 dogs here.  I really don't know how my numbers dropped so much in a week but 2 did leave.  I'm a blank on who I was counting that I'm not counting now.  One more to reach my 'winter' goal of 24 but it has to be a male.  Another female leaving will not do me any good, space wise.  And of course the 2 with approved adopters who will be going after the first of the year are females.  If Beth Ann was not such a shit head, JoJo would have someone to be with.  She emotionally wears me out because I feel so sorry for her.  It is not her fault she was traumatized and can't get over it. 
11/27:  I shuffled for one night and then un-shuffled.  Everyone is back where they started.  Isabella cried to come in the house.  Dillon looked so confused.  Cola and Pumpkin would not go in the shop.  They walked much better on the return trip to their yard then they did leaving.  It was like long lost friends.  Of course, Cola and Pumpkin resumed their clamber to get me to leave my bedroom last night.  Both Dillon and Chipi have issues with them so I have to keep things under control. 
     When I met the gal to take Faith I noticed Faith did not look like she felt well.  She will see her vet asap.  I called and made payment arrangements.  It just all happened so fast.  I should have been paying closer attention.  Tim does not recognize when a dog does not feel good.  I was just not in the shop enough to notice and I feel terrible about it.  Poor Faith.  Who knows how long she has not felt good.  I just can't help but beat myself up over not being able to do this rescue thing properly anymore.  When I make a mistake or overlook something, I just hate myself. 
11/25:  I'm not handling today very well.  Some dogs are just so darn hard to let go.  Faith is leaving.  I'm meeting the adopter part way in about 2 hours.  Great person, but just not sure it is the perfect situation for Faith.  However, there are not just a lot of healthy, 55 to 65 year old retired people who live on fenced acreage and are home all the time who love big dogs and let them sleep on the bed with them. 
    The girls are getting adopted which leaves 4 males without yard mates.  I'd open up to foster but don't want to be stuck when the guys leave.  I just feel so sorry for those who end up alone.  Louise could take Faiths place in the shop, but I don't think Mint would mix well with BOTH Olaf and Cotton.  One, maybe as Mint is a cool, love everybody dog.  Cotton, on the other hand can be a bit territorial. 
11/22:  Had a good weekend.  Susie, Kathleen Maggie and Mary Ann came to help.  All the house dogs are looking great.  We had a lot of great food (too much.  Can't button my levis today) and great conversation.  Wish Candy had been with us.  And some of the locals, I was hoping for. 
     Thelma left for her new home a few minutes ago.  David is side tracking a ways to deliver her to the door.  
      I may take a nap.  I was hoping to get the wild ones to come in with Susie in my bedroom but the plan failed. At 1:23 I was outside in the cold  setting out food bowls.  Cola had already picked up 3 from the room and spilled food everywhere.  She would not let the others come in.  Lots of protest barking keeping us awake.  Shortly after returning to bed,  all the great food I had eaten had hit bottom and a good part of the rest of the night was spent in the bathroom. 
   Tim will be back tonight.  He is in TX with his brother for his other brothers funeral.  He is in trouble.  Three things you do not do:  steal from me, hurt the dogs, use my sewing scissors.  He used my sewing scissors!  I bet it is not the first time as I have been noticing they are not cutting right.  I suspected, but this time he left them out of the drawer and on the shelf by the door, which I NEVER do.  Any seamstress know sharpening fabric sheers ruins them.  And these were about the last of the Ginger made in the USA.  They now are crap coming from Mexico. 
11/17:  What happened to yesterday???  Took Leslie in for her eye surgery but they had an emergency so it was put off until late in the day.  Meant to pick her up this morning, but just got crazy. Morning time preparing for an appointment.  Then after the appointment, I needed a few more things so had to make a trip back.  That ran me into the afternoon.  I finally got Leslie.  Barely got the car in the garage and Leslie in the house when a really bad storm passed through.  It looked like a typhoon.  Seriously.  I have not been out to check fence lines but the house dogs are in their small area and that is secure.  No trees down in the yards. 
     Ruth (Mid-West Komondor Club) contacted me on a Kom just taken into a shelter in IN.  Absolutely everything fell into place within 2 hours!!!  Sandra Campbell is going to be delivering dogs north of there this weekend so will be empty coming back and will pick her up and bring her to me!  I will be fostering for the club and she will get a home fast.  She is the typical mess, full of burs and stinky so Tim will have his work cut out for him on Monday. 
   I did not get Leslies E collar made so I pray she does not mess with that eye tonight.  Some days there is not even time to breath.... oh and I turned down 5 ...yes 5 Pyrs today.  That makes 8 in the past 6 days.  Breaking my heart.  But I am trying to help the people find them homes.
11/15:  Note to self (for the thousandth time) Do not eat after 3 p.m.  It is 3 a.m. and my stomach is in agony. 
      Met Hawks adopter in Ozark yesterday.  Very nice young man.  Veteran on disability.  One of the lucky ones who is actually getting benefits from his service.  Hawk will be spoiled. 
      Missy leaves Tuesday.
      It will be a busy week.  Monday morning Leslie has eye surgery for a large tumor on her eye lid.  Dental while she is under.  I do not know how I will keep her from destroying the cone.  I am thinking of just keeping the hind paw wrapped so the nails won't rip the stitches.  I will have to discuss it with Rob.  It is getting too cold to leave the door open and that cone will not go through the doggie door.  Leslie barely walks on leash and she is darn sure not going to potty on leash.  I barely get over sleepless nights with Goofy and now I will be doing a repeat with Leslie.  I don't mind.  I just am getting too old.
     Tim will be gone for a few days.  His brother in Texas died suddenly.  So far don't know a thing.   If the weather stay decent, I will manage.  Only 5 dogs will be left outside.  Water will be the problem if we get bad weather, particularly a freeze.  I could just make it one while Tim is gone by moving Lakota out and giving the others the apartment but then 'giving and then taking away' is so unfair.  I just wish Lakota would be nicer to both dogs and people.  
      My son hosted the "Celebration of Life" for my mom.  In one way I wish I had been there but in another way, glad I couldn't.  I handle things internally which makes me seem harsh and uncaring when that is totally the opposite.  Do I physically shed tears?  Very rarely.  I did a week ago Thursday night when I told Goofy he was not leaving me when I was so sure he was dying.   I shed tears over Fez when I had to say good bye.  Watching him struggle was the worst experience I have ever felt.  The tears were for his pain, not relieving him of it. 
     Saying goodbye to something or someone is a mix of emotion.  Saying goodbye to rescue is just as hard. Maybe harder.  I'll always be helping in some way, but not in the way I have.  Just too financially and emotionally draining.  I've read there is a disproportionate number of suicides among rescuers.    I've never contemplated suicide, but some days I just do not want to get out of bed.  The whole thing is just so emotionally draining.  It is like being on a sinking ship and for every bucket of water you toss out, 2 more buckets come in.  You recruit help to bucket out but the extra weight just makes the ship take on water faster.  You are in the middle of an ocean of animals in need and no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you just can't save them all.  Saying "I saved over 500 dogs in 13 years" does not have weight when there are 5 million per year who no one could save.  A battle that you fight knowing you might win a few but you know you will never win the war.
11/13:  Just when you think things are getting better..... Tim's local brother just came by looking for Tim.  Tim is on another job and not sure where.  Their brother just died.  He is in Texas.  I'm sure they will be leaving for Texas tomorrow morning. I was suppose to meet an adopter tomorrow in Ozark.  He is going to have to come the whole way now.  And I do not even know Tim's feeding routine.   Done wrong and there could be a problem.  I have a 'map' for the house dogs.  I wish I had made one for the shop and outside dogs.   I sure hope the storm misses us.  It was suppose to hit tomorrow.  I've not checked for weather updates. 
   Vet appointment for Leslie at 3:20.  I'll need to feed early.  This is just one screwed up day/weekend now.  Two weekends ago my mom died so I called off a dog run.  Last weekend Goofy was on deaths door so Dave did that dog run for me.  Now this weekend. I'm sure Tim will be leaving and I can't handle Hawk by myself.  He does not really know me.  And I have got to get Missy picked up.  I'm just a basket case. 
11/12:  Goofy is doing great.  Back to his goofy self.  The Pred is making him pee a lot and he can't make it out the door.  I did get a good nights sleep Tuesday night.... at least I think it was Tuesday night.  Everything just runs together.  I am so tired.
11/9:  Barely... 12:07.  Just got up to pee and find Goofy.  He was in the garage.  Brought him in.  Took Issy out.  She is still unsure of the doggie door and deck.  She had to go and wasted no time.  She is such a good girl.  The wild bunch sure do not lie a new 'person' in the house.  They scare her too.  Back to bed.  Hope I can get back to sleep.  Those past few months I was getting 4 to 6 hours sleep were so great.  I'm too old for this but what choice do I have? 
11/8:Goofy is holding on.  It has been a long 3 days and nights.  I'm exhausted.  Vet appointment tomorrow.  I know he is old and his legs are weak but I think there may be something else going on driving him down hill faster then age.  Knowing will help me make day to day decisions.
   Dave was so good to take Annissa to meet her new family.  I was afraid to leave Goofy for more then a an hour at a time and the trip would have kept me away 6 hours. 
11/6:  Goofy is not doing well. 
11/5:  A dark, wet and gloomy day.  Just finished picking up poop.  It fell out while Goofy was asleep.  That is the way it was with Keeton towards the end.  He is so embarrassed.  He has not eaten today even though 50% of the bowl is chicken.  He went out to pee and ended up settling in the garage.  Hanna is out there too.  The 5 wild ones are in my bedroom and 2 are in the doggie duplex as rain hammers down. 
     Cooking 10 pounds of chicken.  Nothing better to do as the rain is so loud on the shop roof.   I'd be sewing if it were bearable.  The dogs are all in the apartment with Tim.  He had went out the front door as I went in the back.  I did not know for sure if he was there.  TV was on, but no Tim.  Thought "Gee, he left the TV on for them".  Olaf had his toothy grin for me when I went in.  He sure won me over quick once I gave him the chance. 
     Dealt with an ignorant jerk earlier.  I would not be bothered by it, but 2 beautiful Pyrs were involved.  I just wanted to scream "you screwed up so stop taking it out on everyone trying to help."  But I didn't get the chance because he hung up on me.  No wonder the guy is out of a job and losing his home. 
     Looks like I am getting a return back from eons ago.  Didn't want to admit I did not remember her.  I need to dig through adopters and put an original name to the dog.  Trouble is, owner does not even have the same last name as when dog was adopted.  I feel terrible that I don't remember every single dog.  I use to.... before I turned 70.  Sort of like being in a car and the speed limit is 65 but you hit 70 and get a ticket.  The brain cops were out in force when that seven O hit. 
     Doctor set me up for a stress test.  I researched.  They inject Lexiscan into your blood stream.  If you do have a heart condition, it might kill you!!!  Got all the info off the US Gov. FDA website so it's not someones scare tactic web site. I canceled.  I thought I was going to be on a treadmill or something.  I don't do "drugs", legal or otherwise. 
11/2:  Dr. said not a heart attack.  Some fancy term I'll never remember.  One medication made me sick.  Did exact opposite as intended.  The other gave me great pain relief but the side effects can cause more problems then the cure, so not going to do that until more investigating. 
    Approved an adopter.  Yeah.  Great lady coming from the north east to get the dog.  She will decide when she meets them.
    Waiting on an application from another.  He is military with PTSD. 
10/29:  Screaming headache all night and still into this morning.  I took a little 'time out' and went to the thrift store and found 3 stuffies for the dogs and a sparkly piece of fabric for dog collars.  Big splurge $3.25.  I've never been wanting to go to the doctor before, but this time I am ready.  My heart keeps warning me.  I know what I can handle and what I can't.  This, I can't.  I'm going to spend the rest of the morning sewing.  It relaxes me. 
10/28:  Today was a daze.  Time has not moved, yet it has flown.  Like a slingshot, it is there, stationary, yet the band propels at unimaginable speed.  I took care of as much as I could from here.  My grandson James called from jail and I had to let him know she had died.  He took it really hard.  Last time he went to see her, she would not let him in.  He has problems.  I am really worried about him.  But I can't fix him.  He has to fix himself.  I just so wish I had been able to hug him when I told him.  I slept well last night.  I doubt I will sleep tonight.  It is not that my mother is gone but the impact her passing has on my family.  I view things so differently then they do.  I guess it is from watching suffering.  My compassion is strong and end of pain is a blessing, not a sadness.  The only regret as that I had no way to erase that pain, no way to make them healthy.  We do not know what comes with death.  A void.  A nothing. A soothing calm.  A beautiful restoration.  A rebirth to come again.  Recycling the family line. A mist of spirit watching over those of us left behind. Angel wings or Eagle wings.  We believe what makes us feel right and that is what is real.  That mist in my family room before she passed was a sign.  It is what I believe.  And the spirits that visit, they are real.  That I believe.  It is where I find my comfort. I hope others can find their comfort.  This is my peace. 
10/27:  My mom passed away.
10/26:  Hercules is coming back. 
10/25:  I raked leaves all morning on the hill in the wild ones area.  It is hard to see the holes in the ground and afraid I will fall.  As soon as the rest get up, Tim will fill the holes with rocks and then dump gravel to smooth things out.  Burn ban on so can't get rid of them today.
     Lakota was breaking my heart being alone.  He was so sad.  When I went down to get a collar from the shop, he rolled on his back in front of me.  I'd rub his belly and when he stood up, I'd try to take another step, and he'd lay in front of me again.   I knew Mint would work fine in the shop with Cotton and the girls so I tried Louise with Lakota.  That did not go well.  Three attempted fights just on the intro walk not counting Louises' hackles being up and Lakotas teeth looking very menacing.  Next try was Xena.  At first Lakota wanted to attack but then we just kept working at it.  Xena just wanted to play.  She showed no defensiveness or aggression at all so I knew there was hope.  It only took about 10 minutes for me to feel comfortable enough to turn them loose in a 'new to them' yard.  They were too interested to check out all the smells to engage each other.  Then finally Xena initiated a game and Lakota was having a great time.  In a few days I will try them back in the shop where Lakota was, but don't want him to be territory possessive.  In the mean time Mint and Louise are occupying the shop apartment.  They are thrilled.  When Lakota is moved back, Mint and Louise will go in with Cotton and Tims' shop bunch. JoJo and Missy have moved to the Doggie duplex that was vacated by Mint and Louise.  Annissa and Beth Ann moved into JoJo's yard and Olaf is alone where Annissa and Beth Ann were.  We tried to unite those 3 but Annissa went after Olaf.  He just ran so we rescued him and closed the gate between them.  Tomorrow we will try Olaf in the shop with Cotton.  We have just not given him a chance.   If that goes well, then when the others switch, Olaf will come into the house with me.  Yes, I have a map on the wall on a large poster board scaled out for each dogs space with 'stickies' with each dogs name on one.  Otherwise I would not have a clue who was where.
      Since Lakota is use to 'furniture', we moved 3 crib mattresses into his and Xenas house.  Had to make them comfortable until I feel they will get along in Lakotas apartment. 
      It's only 12:25 and I'm hungry and ready for a nap.  I've not heard a word about my mom.  No one will answer the phone and only one granddaughter will call and give reports.   But they are taking shifts so never know who is with her.  
10/24:  Spent the day taking down and moving fencing.  The wild bunch now has 2 shelters so I don't have to go out when it rains if they don't come in.  They were afraid to go in the one as it has a metal roof, but the one we just opened up for them is half the doggie duplex.  It is very quiet in there when it rains.  Fraz and Emo are use to that building too, so that helps.  I really like the way we have changed things.... as long as there are no returns! 
     We raked leaves off all the paths and tore out very deteriorated garden timbers.  That dang rebar was 18" in the ground.  Will eventually knock down the dirt it was holding back.  It was only about 6" higher then the walkway and less then 2' wide so it will be easy.  Most will probably move itself with a few good rains
     Mini the post office dog is now Miss Millie.  She is doing great and it is a perfect match.  Two living beings are exceptionally happy they found each other. 
10/23:  Been up since 3:30.  Rain!  The 5 came in so knew it must be raining.  Got up and ran Fraz and Emo inside.  Hopeless to go back to sleep so after checking messages, I groomed on and snuggled with Patty, Pumpkin, Emo, Freedom and Leslie.  I worked until they escaped their cubby hole and then moved to the next.  Got Freedoms much needed dew claws trimmed.  several of the others too.  I curled up with Freedom, Pumpkin and Leslie for awhile and almost fell back asleep on the floor.  Fed at 7:30 and got dressed at 8 and it was still raining.  Let the wild bunch out to potty for about 15 minutes and then the rain started heavier so rounded them back up.  Between almost 4 hours on the floor and stumbling up and down the hill in the rain, I can hardly move.  Back is killing me. 
    My mom was not doing good last night.  She will/would be 92 Sunday.  We just don't know if she will make it.  Found out from my granddaughter who has taken off work to stay with her, that she has broken ribs and broken wrist which Home Hospice has done nothing about.  I realize in her condition there is not much, but they could certainly give her a lot of pain meds without doing any damage at this point.  I don't know if my son knows.  He is one to speak up and get things done. 
     I can't go see her.  a flight without advance notice would be over $1500 and even with Tim, there really is not anyone to take care of this many dogs.  No one knows how except for Tim and a person who had not done it many times and knew the routine would just end up causing dog fights.  They know where they eat and in which order their bowls are put down.  Deviation causes chaos.  I know the inside dogs and do have a map showing where, bowl color and order but even with that, just one mistake and all the dogs are confused.  I don't even feed the dogs Tim feeds because he has set his routine and I am not sure on some.  Annissa and Beth Ann would surely get into it if I were to feed them. 
    Hercules leaves today.  I am so happy for him.  The people are just great.  Looks like Missy will not be leaving for another month.  I hate that she is outside but I have no options.  If she were not being adopted, I'd try her with Lakota.  If I bring her in the house, then I'll have 2 males living alone. 
10/22:  My ghost is back, only this time I saw it.  A lady cleaned my house today and the family room was spotless.  The door has been closed so no dust from the dogs has been in there.  I just walked in and flipped on the light and swirls of smoke or dust or ghost descended, swirled, rose and circled the lights and then vanished.  There was no dust to disturb.  Neither heat nor air or any fans were turned on.  My clothes were not dusty, but I had not even entered the room.  The switch is by the door.  I walked to it, watched it and then set down.  Then it vanished as if through the ceiling.  I was sad because I felt nothing.  My mother is dying.  She will/would be her 92nd birthday this Sunday.  I just spoke with her and my granddaughter who had set with her all day.  Then spoke with my son who had just gotten to her house with an Arby's sandwich she had asked for, but will most likely not remember and not be awake long enough to eat.  My daughter spent 4 days with her but had to return home.  She will be back Sunday.  I won't be going.  Everyone understands.  I do wish I could but I can't afford a last minute plane ticket nor have someone who can take care of all the dogs for a week.  Tim is great but it is more then one person can handle.   Life is never perfect.  Neither is death.  But a presence at death is so important.  No one should ever die alone.  No dog should ever die alone or with strangers either.  Death should always be with family.
10/21:  Long day yesterday but very rewarding.  Breeze got a fantastic family.  They were so excited when they saw her and were such delightful people.  I am so happy for Breeze.  I've already gotten pix of her rolling in the grass and relaxing on her crib mattress.  Lakota is grieving.  Gracie Lynn and Breeze were his room mates.  Now he is alone and I'm not sure who to put with him.  Tim is working for Sid today so doubt we will have time to test him with someone.  I don't dare do it without help just in case it goes south. 
     Had a bunch of phone calls and emails to answer when I got home.  Did not even get the dogs fed until 5:30.  Usually a 4:00 thing.  They sure let me know.  But some of the errands and calls were time sensitive so the dogs just had to wait.  
     Today will be slow except for processing an application for Dillon.  She sounds fantastic.  I just have to give thought to if Dillon will be happy in the environment.  Approving the adopter is a no-brainer.  Tomorrow and Friday will be hectic.  And I am still not sure when Missy will be picked up and if the adopter who has not decided which dog will be coming. 
    Numbers are going down.  30 here as of today.  Two definitely leaving.  Two more potentially leaving.  If two more can get adopters, I will have reached my winter goal of 24 dogs.... BUT, they need to be males gone or I will still have dogs alone and spread out, making it just as difficult as having them each with another dog.  When the hoses come off, things get really tough.  
10/19:  My words from last week have hurt people and I am sorry.  They were about many, not specifically just one or two.  I get advise from all sides for all occasions.  All are well intentioned and most are giving with love.  I guess part of the issue is the manner of presentation.  A long time ago in a PR college course. I learned 're-phrasing'.  "You need to" or You should" or "If I were you" are things that are received with negativity.  "I was once faced with a similar situation and this is how I handled it" or "I have some ideas",   would be much better received.  When the word "you" enters in, it makes one feel inferior, stupid, questioning ones perspective or motives.  When I write, I try to do that, but sometimes it just flows out as if they are words one can't take back.  Sometimes I need them to do that.  I am tired.  I need help, not advise.  I may be forgetful.  I may do dumb things sometimes.  But I manage the best I can as we all do.  Telling someone they need to quit a job, or take a vacation, or stop complaining or see a doctor ..... they already know the 'should' or 'wish they could'.  It is advise from someone who has no idea why a person is in the situation they are in.  No one lives in your head but you. 
     Evening.  Tim worked for Sid all day and didn't get in until 5:30.  Ivermectin day tomorrow but we are taking Breeze to Ozark to meet her new family so they had to get it tonight.  Was hoping to get Breeze bathed but Tim has a meeting from 7 to 9 so would be just way too late to get her wet and then dry and then barely get to bed and have to get up.  I'm taking along the brushes and he can brush her out on the ride.  The plan happened so quick we didn't have time.  I did get her several collars made for her new mom to pick from. 
      The people who came Saturday are probably going to take just Hercules.  They considered both him and Xena but I have a concern that Xena might start to mother him again and be overly protective of him against the other dogs in the family.  I could be wrong.  All I have to go by was how it was before I separated them and the brief day I had re-joined them that indicated the mothering again.  But that was several months ago.  Important thing is he will have a great home where the daughter is a vet tech so he will have great care.  
10/16:  Annissa and Beth Ann are playing.  It took 4 days for them to realize I was serious.  They were just going to have to put up with each other.  What a major breakthrough for Beth Ann. 
     Breeze will be going to her forever home if things don't fall apart for her again.  Have a gentleman coming next weekend to meet the Pyrs.  Also should have the guy who is considering Hawk, Xena or Louise coming that weekend also.  Missy should be going then too. I really need some males gone or there are going to be a bunch of lonely ones.  Hercules did not work out in the shop.  He decided he lived 'out' and they lived 'in' because he is afraid of the doggie door.  He won't let them out to go potty.  So he is alone. 
     It rained around midnight.  Not expected.  The 5 were already in my bedroom but I still had to round up Fraz and Emo.  At least I made it up the hill and back down without falling.  I had to close Dillon out as there is a bit of tension with them all in my bedroom.  Sahara does fine with them.  So does Hanna.  Parker got to go in the bathtub in the spare bedroom.  Dillon ended up on the bed in there also.
     Cleaned the shop today.  Still sneezing hours later from the dust.  Dave picked up some stuff I gave him so that made some room.  Still a lot to go.  Hate having a yard sale, but also hate hauling some of the really good stuff to the thrift store.  Then there is the really, really good stuff which I must sell because I need to money.  Bad enough trying to get $650 for a diningroom set that in an antique store would be listed at $1800.  As well as other very nice high end furniture. 
10/13: Most of Sunday and all of yesterday was spent re-assembling yards and moving dogs around.  Well, with one minor exception, everything is going to go back just the way I had it 3 days ago.  This "advise" is not going to work at all.  I got no sleep last night.  Cola is extremely upset that there is fences between her and Patty, Pumpkin, Fraz and Emo.  She barked and cried all night.  Patty snuggled up to the fence as close to her as possible.  Pumpkin crying from the next yard over.   Fraz and Emo snuggling on opposite sides of the fence as close as they can get.  
   Afternoon:  Took no prodding to get the wild ones back to their cohorts. They ran right by me when I opened the gates.  Everyone is very content.  Tim was going to walk the 4 we moved to accommodate the wild ones, but when he leashed them up, they practically drug him back to their own yards.  At least they have super clean, well DE'd, leaf raked yards to 'go home' to.   Annissa and Beth Ann continue to hide from each other.  They both have dog aggression issues and they are an equal match so I think they have decided to just stay in their own corner. 
   Evening:  I got a message from Melonies' foster mom up in the Mass. area.  She stated she is aggressive, etc.  and needs moved to another foster home.  She has only been there a day.  But this is just not the Melonie that left here.  She was happy, no issues, everything about her was great.  This is why I HATE to transport a dog.  I am sure it was nothing the transport did because they are wonderful, but just a transport and quarantine in itself can be traumatic.  I would never have thought this would happen.  Now I am REALLY concerned about her sister going to Saudi Arabia.  If a ground transport can freak Melonie out like this, what effect will a flight half way around the world do to Missy?  I will be communicating with the rescue and see just how well this foster was screened. 
10/12:  Good intentions don't cut it.  I'm sick of "you need to do........." without a solution.  I see the current problem, the potential problem, but without a solution that does not create a new problem, you are wasting my time!  I am no expert but I know more about the dogs here then anyone.  I know every detail of their personality.  I know who will get along with whom and how long it may take or how long to erupt.  There are very few surprises and those are ones that I usually have not had a hand in creating.  I have spent the last few weeks taking the dividers out of yards.  Reducing numbers and getting yards back to their original intended size.  Now we spent yesterday and today putting those divides back in because of a potential problem.  I do see where the advisors are coming from, but they do not live day to day with these dogs.  They are strangers.  These dogs are protectors.  Yes, if their territory is invaded, they may nip.  No, I do not want that at all.  But I can't take the breeding out of these dogs nor ignore their isolated history.  Now I have separated the 'pack'.  It is not going well at all.  How many days of this misery, hours of extra time and effort  that I do not have, will it take to either say this helped or this is a disaster?   I'm tired of advise, no matter how well intentioned.   If you have walked in my shoes.  If you have worked with feral dogs, if you have run a rescue and carefully screened applicants, then please, I welcome your insight from experience.  If I had volunteers who would just come and sit with the wild ones.... just sit!  Read a book out loud, listen to soft music, sing.  Just be a presence, a non-threatening, non-demanding presence.  That is what these dogs need, not shuffled around, separated, confused and made to feel vulnerable.  Yes, they are a pack.... because that is what un-socialized dogs do.  Bond together for the security and companionship they are not ready to receive from humans.
10/8:  Said good bye to TinTin, Harmony and Melonie at 4:25 a.m.  They are going to a rescue in Boston.  It gets harder and harder to say good bye, even to those I did not get close to.  But I can't keep them all because I can't even take care of those still here.  Mini left yesterday but I will get to see her as she went locally.  Wanda leaves either today or tomorrow for her new home.  I am thrilled for her.  This lady seems super nice.  Then Gracie Lynn leaves Saturday.  Her young adopter is making the long trip from IL. As much and as long and as crazy as she has made me, her I will miss the most!!  Crazy.  She loves me so much.  And despite the stress she puts me through, there is a strong bond.  I will worry about her.  Not perfect but as best as she is going to get.  60 acres in the middle of no where with a college student and her family and 3 other dogs.  I just pray the dad does not yell at Gracie Lynn and she runs off.  If she is yelled at, she will run away.  She is very sensitive.  Missy leaves Sunday with the parents of her adopter. She will eventually be heading to Saudi Arabia.
      Have an approved adopter but not sure which dog he will take.  Either Hawk or Xena.  Also Sasha's adopter may take Faith or Layne.  Am hoping a past adopter who wanted Layne and then changed her mind, will take Breeze.  There are 3 children and Breeze is great with kids.  But what is meant to be, will be. 
      Someone is interested in Thelma, Mint or Xena.  I don't have enough from the application to work with yet.  Hopefully she will provide more information.  Another is interested in one of the Koms but they are in Casper, WY.  That is a long trip for ones who are already terrified of people.  Commercial transport is not an option so I doubt that will materialize.
      Tim has not been worth a crap helping lately.  If he'd quit chain smoking, he might feel better.  His friends mother died unexpectedly of a heart attack. This is the guy whom I do not like.  Tim went to help at some ungodly hour in the middle of the night.  Then did not get the dogs taken care of.  Then missed a days work with Sid.  That could be a good full time job but he is going to screw it up.  He is going to screw up this arrangement too if he does not get his priorities straight.  It is nice to help friends, but when that help jeopardizes your own future, it is time to step back.  The friend is a people user.  A taker who never has time to give back.  I know the type very well.
    it is 6 a.m. The dogs were fed right after Sandra left with the 3 for transport.  Dog dishes are filled for Tim....if he gets back up.  I'm going to try to get an hours nap.  Then dog shuffling as Hercules is left without a playmate. 
10/6:  It is my daughters birthday.  I talked to her today and forgot.  I never know what day it is unless I look at the computer. 
      Must be the beginning of hunting season too.  Gracie Lynn was over the fence and is hiding under my desk.  She has an adopter.  60 acres.  I sure hope they do not hunt.  I did not ask. 
10/5:  Well, I am appalled at an email I just got.  People sent an application followed shortly after by an email say that their vet advised them against getting a Pyrenees!!!  Needless to say, I have a call into the vet.  I was polite as it may not be true, but if it is, I would certainly like to know what makes him an expert in advising people not to get a Pyr.  It was Xena's chance for a home if everything checked out.  They had an Alaskan Malamute.  
     Picked up HC for the 3 leaving on Thursday.  Have to run out to the farm supply and pick up the bordatella.  Had a nail in my tire.  Luckily a slow leak so got that fixed.  I love that funny little symbol on the dash that tells me a tire is low.  And if I don't get gas on my way out to the farm store, I'll be pushing the car back.   
10/4:  Don't know why, but had terrible nightmares last night.  Not had any in a very long time.  Think too much TV.  Started watching a series on Netflix.  That could be part of it.  Making up for 3 months without even turning it on.  I'll look for a happy, make me laugh movie tonight... but is there such a thing anymore geared for adults?
     Woke up later then usual to a terrible smell.  I should have gotten up much earlier.  Goofy did not make it out the door and it was diarrhea.   He got strictly chicken for breakfast.  That made him happy.  Glad I had cooked up about 30 pounds the last week.  Guess I will need to get more and start cooking and freezing again.  What I have left won't last long.  Sometimes I think he has a hard time focusing his eyes.  I first thought some memory loss, but now I'm leaning towards focus problems.  He knows there is a step, but he edges towards it like he is not sure where it is.  I am not ready to lose him too.  Too many this year and it will only be worse next year. 
10/2:  Between happy pills and dogs leaving in a week, I'm ignoring yesterdays threats.  A previous adopter is interested in Layne.  She is very much like the Pyr that passed away from old age a few years back.  That will help in the number.  Also several applications for Gracie Lynn.  Neither situation is perfect, but both seem good.  Always a fence problem with her.  Inquires on quite a few others, but then that is the norm.  Autumn is definitely here.  Need a jacket in the mornings for their walk.  Inside is good without AC or heat.  A drop in the level pay power bill would be nice. 
     Tim has been pressure washing everything in sight!  He started last night with the pools.  Today he has dome all the igloos and my deck rail.  Working on the front fence now.  Loren made the rail and fencing about 10 years ago and this is the first time they have been washed.  Tim is doing a great job.  I don't think his group of dogs will get walked tonight.  I walked mine.  Three trips.  Goofy had to be on all 3 trips.  I do not know what he wants.  I feel so bad.  He wants leashed up, out the door, to the driveway and stops.  He hates car ride so know it is not that.  I offer to go up the road.  He stops.  I offer to go down the road.  He stops.  I offer to go across the lawn.  He stops.  We just stand there.  Then we walk in circles around the driveway.  Not only are his legs going, so is his mind.  I just realized we have the same ailments!!!  He looks at me with such sad eyes.  I try so hard not to get frustrated but the other dogs want to 'go'.  Not just stand there and get dizzy.  These are the kind of times I am most lonely.  When I cannot please all the dogs on their favorite activity of the day.  If I leave goofy behind, he goes off in a corner looking so rejected.  Keeton and Fez all over again.  I don't know how I will handle this loss when it comes.  They know.  They tell me they are tired and frustrated.  I think they know I am too. 
10/1:  Way back I took in some dogs.  I called in their chip numbers but the chips were not registered. Companies that charge for registration will not give out information if the owner has not kept up with the annual payment.  Months later the owner saw them listed for adoption.  Instead of just politely calling me and saying "I think you have my dogs" she left a threatening message and then a threatening email.  Some friends left me a series of threatening FB messages.  I had no idea what they were so mad at me for.  But the threats unnerved me and I felt in danger.  Since the dogs were from another state, my first instinct was to protect the person I got them from.  Not because that person had done anything wrong, but because this lady was crazy and dangerous.  She would have to drive a long way to hurt me and my dogs but she would not have to drive far to hurt the person who took these dogs in.  Other people had been feeding these dogs for months.  Their lives were in danger running as strays and likely to be run over.  The crazy lady was driving 10 hours to come get her dogs.  I called the sheriff for protection from her.  I gave her her dogs back, but gave her bogus information as to where I got them.  There was no way I was going to be a party to her hurting the person who took these dogs in and got them healthy.  Eventually the crazy lady found out who had given me the dogs.  Now this lovely lady who so generously cared for these dogs is being sued.  The allegations are ludicrous.   But to an un-dog-educated judge, they might look as if there is some merit.  Today I get a call from crazy lady's husband and discover he is an idiot, obviously with a ring through his nose that his crazy wife leads him around by.  He said he is suing me but will drop it if I say certain (untrue) statements about the person I got the dogs from.  Basically he is threatening me that if I do not lie for them, I will be sued too.  I am really hoping Karma hits real soon.  People like them should not be on the face of this earth.  They are dog neglecters who refuse to take responsibility for their own in-action to care for their dogs and want to put blame on everyone else. 
   These people are scum.  By suing, even though they will lose, they will be killing hundreds of future dogs who could have been saved.  They are taking time and money away from not the individual person, but the dogs they help.  When a rescue person is destroyed, that rescue is destroyed.  We are almost all self supporting.  Most work full time so they can spend over half their pay check on food for the dogs.  Their "vacation" consists of a rescue run to get dogs out of a bad situation.  Their grocery list is half for the dogs.  If it were not for good people like the woman who took in these neglected stray dogs, they could very easily be dead from being hit by a car.  Instead of gratitude for saving the dogs, one gets accused of stealing them.  Why on Gods earth would a rescue need to steal any dog???  I sit here and turn down at least 5 Pyrenees a week plus a dozen other breed dogs and puppies someone has either dumped or decided they don't want.  Last thing we want is more dogs! 
9/30:  Today was better.  I think my happy pills do quite the opposite or take 24 hours to kick in.  After hours of frustration last night, finally got my Roku hooked up again and watched a movie.  I was not even sure the TV would come on since it has been about 3 months since it was even plugged in.  A cute fantasy about a magical dog. 
    I spent the morning updating a number of dogs on petfinder since they had screwed up my account and I could not get in for weeks.  Then I took a nap.   Took some pix of Tim walking dogs and posted one on FB.  I got a message from a friend who commented on a dog situation in Washington state from a few years back. Researched it since they (WA) are telling me there is a 25 dog limit there. A sad situation.  From the 6 various articles I read, this was a good person who was in over his head and instead of people helping they began accusing and condemning.  Most recent from a few months ago, these idiot activists were trying to get him prosecuted for animal cruelty.  I would like to take these big mouth idiots out and let them walk in this mans shoes for a week.  I hate stupid people who spout crap when they know nothing of the subject, especially rescue. 
   By then it was time to feed the dogs dinner.  Did the hour wait and got some walked.  Felt bad not walking Dillon but he pulled so bad Tuesday morning that it undid all the great feeling that the massage therapist had accomplished.  Pulled my shoulder out and twisted my hip.  I love that dog but he is like trying to hold back a freight train.  He's a great bed partner, though. 
9/29:  I've had it.  I hate people.  My list of people I like is down to about a dozen (family excluded).  Petfinder finally fixes THEIR problem.  I email back "it is fixed.  I can get in".  Then a few days later they "fix their problem" and I am back where I started assigned this gawd awful password and can't find a way the change it.  Every time I look, it makes me log in again.  I want to be done.  I want the dogs gone.  I want to have 2 phone numbers.  One just for family and the handful of friends.  The old one just to be sure if one of the dogs gets found or an adopter needs to reach me.  And they will all go to voice mail and I will return only those I want to return.  I am over the edge.  No amount of happy pills is going to calm me.  I am tired.  I hurt and I have people I need to communicate with that I really dread.
     I had to call a very excited potential adopter.  I think this dog is a mistake.  I think the adopter is great but this dog is an emotional wreck.  The lady has 2 other dogs and a cat.  I have tried her with 6 other dogs and she fights them.  The mildest of the mild.  Dogs who get along with all other dogs.  Because I am rural, we rarely have cars pass on a walk.  Tim just told me she not only wants to chase cars, she literally wants to attack them.  We had not encountered this before.  I never wanted this dog.  I would not have taken this dog if it had not been for the promise of a foster home.
9/28:  Time slipped away again.  It is 12:40 a.m.  Was asleep and heard bad barking from what seemed far away.  By the time I was functioning, it had stopped.  It must have been the dogs in the shop.  I sure hope everything is ok.  Tim is in there with them but there is jealousy sometimes.  None are quiet tonight except my guys.  These outside guys are going to get my guys going as soon as I go back to bed.  Dillon is keeping my bed secure so I don't have to worry about Cola sneaking in and making off with my pillows.  He is such a good boy.
     Why is it when I make a decision about an adoption, I feel it is a mistake?  Sometimes it is approval and some times it is denying.  I just cannot trust myself with these guys lives.  My thought processes are not working as they need to be.  On the other hand, anyone who does not live with them is not going to make a proper decision either.  You have to know the dog to get the right person and getting a feel for the person is where I totally fail.  I just need help.  Then I need to quit! The dogs can't call me up and say "hey, come get me.  These people are not nice to me."  
    Got my sewing machine fixed.  I sheered off a tiny screw and it was stuck in the hole.  I was told how to get it out but was not confident enough to try it.  The repair person did exactly that and cost me $40.  At least if I sheer another one (I do at least one a year) I will know what to do and not be afraid to do it.  So I sewed for about an hour today.  It relaxes me.  More pretty collars.
    Tim gave Mininewf and Cotton both baths.  He did not get all the soap off Mini so had to rinse her again.  She does not like baths.  She did like the fan on her to dry.  Cotton prefers the towel dry.  When I cam up, he was still semi wet and not combed out.  I better look early in the morning (not this early) or he will look like he mopped the floor again.  He is a dust magnet.  I sure hope that commotion that woke me up was not him and Layne into a fight again.  Dogs are quiet.  I'll just have to try to put that barking incident out of my head and try to go back to bed and asleep while they are quiet.
9/25:  Just realized the milk expires today.  I could have swore it was another week.  Guess I need to make pudding while it is still useable.  Hate waste.
9/24:  12:39 a.m.  They have barked for 2 nights straight.  I am exhausted.  I've been to bed but not to sleep.  Seems it is Harmony or Hercules.  That is the constant.  Must be their turn.  Usually it is Faith or Hawk or Louise, etc.  They take turns.  I can block out one, but not a choir.  I just took a benadryl.  Went outside and allergies kicked in.  When the pill kicks in, I should be able to sleep through anything.  The night is dark. No moon.  Yard lights on so they can't see the deer as well.  Of course, the deer could be right at the fences.  This is driving me nuts.  It is terrible.  At least 8 'voices' and Dillon, sometimes Sahara or Goofy, from inside.  I may try ear plugs.  Maybe go outside with the high power light and scare the critters off.
    1:02:  An escapee.  I'm pissed again at Tim.  He is not here.  He left the lights all on in the shop.  He did not fix the area under the stairs where I told him Harmony would get out.  Well, she did.  Hercules is having a nervous breakdown with out her, but I had to put her in that small front area that luckily we did not take down again.  Gave her food and water and hope the dogs will now shut up.  She must have gotten out several hours ago because that is how long these guys have been giving my the 'intruder' bark.  I have 2 choices:  put up with this new Tim, which I do not like or start letting anyone adopt.  I do not like either choice.  Tim needs to get his head out of his ass and distance himself from this friend of his.  This is not a 'control Tim's life ' thing.  But he has an obligation here and if he does not understand that, he can move out.  No free ride and no running up my already staggering electric bill. 
   I'm tired.  I'm in pain.  I'm angry.
   10:00a.m.  Got the area under the steps secure with fencing so Harmony cannot get out.  It was definitely a 2 person project. I think she was pretty sorry she did get out and then afraid to drop back in.  Getting out was easy compared to returning.  Herc is glad they are back together. 
     Called the Henderson PO in hopes the person will take Mininewf.  She is in the shop and looking a bit more comfortable then in the yard with Missy and Melonie. 
     Afternoon:  Have people who "will" take Mini, but not people who "want" to take her.  Big difference.  She is not going to people who just "will".  Brenda understands that and the rest of the rescue world understands that, but those who just 'have a dog' don't get it. 
     Trying to make plans for the future but nothing seems to want to work the way I want it to.  I'm really feeling lonely.  I'm feeling overwhelmed way too often.  I would like to actually spend a little time relaxing and knowing I did good while I still can enjoy some leisure.  I really need good adopters, not just "ok" adopters. 
9/22:  Things are back to some form of normal.  I slept hard for several hours and then the choir tuned up at 1:55 a.m.  I could not go back to sleep so got up and scrubbed the floors.  Literally scrubbed.  Used the steam cleaned which we not put back together correctly so did not soak up the water so I had a mess.  Took me 3 times longer then it should of had.  But the floors looked nice for a few hours.  Never know it 14 hours later.
   Dillon has had a lot of lessons in the past few days being here in the house.  He is very smart and very very sensitive.  We are still working on him not going over to the wild side.  I know he is confused because they come over here.  Only seems fair to him that he should get to go over there, but that is just not how it works.  If they were still not so wild, then the rules would be different.  I'm not going to make a rule that will set their progress back a year.  So we have to learn to be flexible when it comes to their rules.
     Sitting here just before dark, watching out the window.  Hercules and Harmony playing.  Missy and Melonie playing.  Mint and Louise playing.  I can see them all in their separate yards with just barely turning my chair.   They love this cooler weather.  Poor Mininewf needs a home.  She is missing people so much .  Breaks my heart.  I thought for sure the postmaster or one of the others who said they would take her would have called me.  The house dogs would overwhelm her.  So would the shop dogs.   Anyway, as I watched the play, I wondered where I would be a year from now.  Still sitting here?  In Washington near my daughter.  Across the Rainbow Bridge with Keeton and Fez and Bear and dozens of others who hold a piece of my heart.  We only have the right now.  We can plan and say where we will be, but we really don't know.  That fork in the road may not lead us where we think we are headed.  Tonight it does not matter.  I will make plans and if I end up somewhere else, then so be it.  I have right now.  I have so much, yet in ways I have so little.  But I have what is meant to be at this moment.  And as the dark has descended on my little spot in the universe, I hear the barking of 37 dogs, all saying good night (or Go away deer) or having a lively conversation with each other and all the critters.  Better turn on some house lights or they will be telling each other to 'go away'.
9/20:  Another horrible morning.  I've been up 3 hours and still have not fed the wild ones nor done any water or poop scooping.  The black ones jump all over me.  My arms get scratched and blood goes everywhere.  Now with the 2 yards joined, no one knows where to eat including me where to feed them.  Tried to do it the same as yesterday but that did not work.  Then I get to Herc and Harmony.  Yesterday I use a heavy plywood sheet to cover the exposed electrical wire they had dug up and pulled on.  I put the heavies rocks I could roll on top.  They literally ate the plywood out from under the rocks.  Millions of tiny slivers.  These are dangerous.  They may well have already ingested hundreds of slivers.  Thank God they had not chewed the cord.  It now has over 4' exposed above ground.  I do not know why when they built this house, they did not pit it in conduit.  I had to cover it up.  The only thing I could find was a 50 gal. rubber trough the dogs swim in.  Luckily it was only half full and on a slope.  I managed to get it dumped.  It must weigh 30 pounds without water in it.  Of course it was in the yard with the black dogs so more jumping on me and me screaming hysterically.  I'm looking like I just crawled through a garden of  blackberry bushes.  I got it drug to the gate and the temptation was so great to just let them out.  I am losing my mind.  I got the tub in place.  I gathered a rake and shovel and an empty got food bag and raked up as many slivers as I could.  I cannot mop or sweep because of the movement it requires.  Raking is even more painful.  I cannot bend to reach the ground without excruciating hip and back pain.  Of course the rake fell over several times laying on the ground rather then remaining leaning against the post.  I filled the bag but along with splintered wood was some gravel.  I got it drug outside the gate.  Another big temptation to let Harmony get past me.  She does not jump on me.  She is just an active puppy who needs daily exercise.  She does not get into trouble when Tim is home to walk her twice a day.  At least not this much trouble. 
     I made toast.  It is 9:30.  I will try to fill water.  Annissa keeps dumping hers as soon as she gets a drink of fresh.  Tim was suppose to clean all the pools and troughs so they would have water if I could not fill the small ice chests.  He did not do it.  I can't lift them to dump them.  Some, like Annissa, will just have to settle for scummy water after her first drink of fresh.  I'm not filling it all day just for her to dump it.  I definitely have to fill the one covering the electrical cord or they will move it.   I don't know how much poop will get scooped but I can guarantee I am not going back in with hte black ones.  That yard is now about 50 x 80 so it is not like it has to be done today.  I am already dreading feeding tonight. 
9/19:  Tim is doing his weekend in jail.  These are so stressful.  I like to never got to sleep.  We moved so many dogs.  A storm was expected at 2 a.m. so concerned about Gracie Lynn.  Moved Dillon in the house with me.  That is going fabulously.  I was sure it would.  Just had to watch him so he did not mark.  Then after a few "NO" s, he got the idea.  Layne and Wanda went into hte shop with Faith, Cotton and the little yappers.  That is going well.  Moved Lakota, Breeze and Gracie Lynn into the vacant apartment yard.  I figured Gracie Lynn might feel comfortable in there if we have a storm.  I have not raised the fence so she can easily go over if she decides to.  24 hours and she is still there. 
     I moved Mininewf into the yard where Lakota was.  Sharing fence line with JoJo and the black ones.  That was until this morning.   So this morning I was up at 6:30.  I fed by 9:15.  Ate some breakfast.  Settled for the blueberry chocolate chip muffins..uck... then out to start poop scooping.  That is when I discovered  Melonie and Missy had decided to join Mininewf.  Tore a hole in the fence.  Actually there was 2 heavy fences and a tarp in between.  Too small for JoJo.  It was very dangerous and no way for me to fix it.  I spent from 9:30 to 12:07 tearing out the divider fence.  There is now one big yard.  Everyone better get along or I am really screwed.  I still have to poop scoop and do water but my hands are sore, my body aches and I just can't do it right now.  They will just have to drink yesterdays water and some will have to drink out of their swim tubs because they dumped their drinking water.  I am going to take some happy pills before I break down sobbing, go to bed and not get up. 
    I hate people who dump their dogs.  I hate people who do not care enough to train their dogs to be well mannered. I hate people who don't think enough of animals to treat them like family... and if they move, they better find a place that allows pets.  Would they move and leave their children behind because they could not find a place that allowed children...  Well, I suppose some would.  I hate them too. 
    And God, please let the storm pass by without any thinder.
9/18:  Lesson:  If you must wear glasses to read, be sure you put them on to cook.  Even blueberries look like chocolate chips on the package when everything is a blur.  Martha Wright makes wonderful, easy, just add milk and cook, muffins.  However, blueberry muffins sprinkled with chocolate chips is not exactly a gourmet taste.  The disposition of the remaining muffins is questionable. 
    What a day yesterday.  Brenda called about a possible Newfoundland that was abandoned a week ago.  She had not seen it, just been told of it.  Described as a 'black Pyrenees.  Really big and fluffy with rust tones in her coat and a white spot on her chest.'.  Of course there is no such thing as a black Pyr.  But many people have never heard of a Newf and do mistake them for a 'black' Pyr.  I had to go look.  Well, when you find a frightened 45 pound black dog sitting just off a 65 mph highway, you can't just leave it! 
     Day before, Tim and I took down another yard.  It still left me with one 'spare' in case of a dog fight.  Well, had a dog fight shortly after.  They were not going to reconcile.  It had been building for several weeks.  There was no other options for these 2 trouble makers.  separating another pair to put each with would not (and did not... we tried that) work.   So all the yards were occupied. 
     So here comes Mininewf.  Yes, I named her as in Miniature Newfoundland.  Luckily the yard we took apart Wednesday was still in place except for one panel.  We had a spare panel so had a yard set up in about 30 minutes.  But she has got to go.  People will hate me, but even if I have to take her to AC, she can't stay.  Hopefully if she has no owner to claim her, someone will want to take her home.  She is a really sweet girl but intimidated by all these big dogs or the young smaller rambunctious ones.  There is just no dog to put her with and besides, I just cannot keep this up.  18 need gone in the next 6 months.  
9/17:  I have 3 applications here in front of me.  I already breezed through several and approved the people.  It was easy.  But these 3 are not.  One sounds like a great dog person but location is not good for a Pyr.   That one is still a maybe.  She wants the same as dog as someone else already approved is considering so it has to be a 'wait and see' anyway.  Both the other applicants seem very young and just not dog savy.
     Took Lakota in for a nail trim.  He has to be muzzled.  Well, they got the front ones done but even with several people holding on and the muzzle on, no way were they touching the back feet.  These vets deal with cattle and horses, so Lakota must have really been a handful.  Back dew claws did not get done.  I have an appointment for him to have the entire dew claws removed on Monday.  Oh, how I hate that!!!  But if he is going to have to be sedated every time they need trimmed, that is one both stressful and expensive nail trim.  He just breaks my heart.  He has no future other then with Tim.  And even that is only being fed and walked.  He does play with Breeze and Gracie Lynn.  It is something he is learning to do.  Some of these dogs just break my heart and Dillon, the perfect dog, and Lakota, the most imperfect dog, are at the top of the list.  I might just try Dillon in the house.  Just hope Parker does not go after him... or Freedom.
9/16:  I could have had an instant home for Annissa today.  Long conversation with a very nice lady.  But I need an application.  She was going to drive over on her way back to Louisiana.  I might should have said yes, as one of the other dogs attacked her just a few minutes ago.  I have been taking down yard dividers as dogs leave.  Just merged the garage yard with the main yard today.  Luckily I had not taken another fence down that was on the list.  I know my stress is felt by the dogs, but I was in the house and these were in an outside yard and it was not even over food or anything apparent.  Luckily it was one sided so we just had to get Annissa out of the other dogs reach.  I just want them to go away.  Not all, but a good many.  Some for my sake and some for theirs.  I will truly miss Breeze,  Faith and Dillon.  They are definitely ones I would keep but they need to be special and not sharing space and attention with so many others.  Hercules and Lakota are very special too, and they probably won't be going anywhere. 
    I tried to take a nap today.  I tried to do a lot of things today.  Goofy was being very goofy.  He was a total pest.  Tried to work on some applications and he kept knocking the pencil out of my hand.  Trying to use the phone was hopeless.  Trying to get up to go to the bathroom was even a challenge.  He kept blocking me and shoving me with his huge body.  I finally made it to a dog bed and laid down.  Got up and got a pillow and went back to the dog bed.  I was surrounded by 3 dogs on each side.  No way to pet 6 dogs or avoid Parker drool.  It is only 5 p.m. and I am ready to take a bath and go to bed.  I have read every book in the cabinet.  I use to hate to read and after finishing 3 in the past week, I have decided I still hate to read.  Not had Netflix on in over 3 months.  I guess I'll go buy a Roku and hook it up.  I pay for Netflix so might as well have it available even if I am not enthusiastic about it either. 
9/15:  Getting some applications.  Rescue stepped up.  Hopefully one other rescue that I truly trust will come forward.  Needing down to 24 by end of year is not low enough.  I am trying so hard to keep my outlook up but I am drained of ambition and energy and bogged down with emotion.  Some ends are good because they open up opportunities for new beginnings.  But with rescue, being 70 and 2000 miles from family, dogs are all I have and I can't give them enough of me. 
    I know I am a hard person to be around; to work for.  A hard person to live with.  I expect not too much, but their best.  Most people just don't want to give it (what ever "it" is) their best. This generation and the last are 'half assers'.  Actually if you look at history, how many 1960's homes are still in good shape and will be revered in 2160?  None!  But I bet some 1800's homes will still be standing.  As well as 3000 year old castles.  1920 cars are worth restoring.  Is anyone really going to want to restore a 1980's Ford?... ever?  Pride in what we have done is gone with our passing. 
     Betty and Nancy came to walk dogs and we were discussing a grandchild who got a scholarship, but she wanted to go to a different college.  Parents were saying it was ok.  She could choose.  Well, we all agreed, if she wanted to go to a different college, then she should pay for it and she can go where ever she "can".  They are like dumb birds.  They want to spread their wings and sail on the wind currents, they just don't want to have to flap them to get high enough.  I have no patience with the 'under 50' generation.  So few have any work ethic.  They would argue "I go to work everyday".  But the underlying truth is, that is the most part of what they do; "go".  What they do once they get there is only what is absolutely mandatory to keep the job and that can even be a thin wire.  I don't like the term "redneck", but those are the children who at least see reality.  You break it, you fix it, or you do without.
      Bottom line, I've become cynical, somewhat bitter, a lot intolerant,  and even more disappointed, as I grow old.  I look at an application and can guess the general age from the first grammarical mistake.  I can narrow it down even farther by mis-spelling, poor punctuation, (usually none at all) and frequency of spelling/grammar shortcuts.   And part of the problem is the computer dictionary and spell check.  These were not created by English professors.  "grammarical" is correct rather spell check likes it or not.  So is Carols' or Larrys' .  S' is possessive meaning ownership, but spell check wants you to use 's, which is short for is.  The car is Carols'.   Carol's the owner of the car.  Two Carols jointly own the car.  But in reality, in 40 years English grammar may not matter because Americans will be living in Western Hemisphere China and will all be speaking Chinese. 
9/13:  I managed yesterday but took a lot of energy I didn't have.  I did not do a perfect job of poop scooping and just topped off the water.  Tim will be home tonight so he can get caught up.  I want to move some dogs around.  It makes a difference when I see the interaction during feeding and play time.  I don't see that as much as needed.  Going to try JoJo with Beth Ann again.  Last time she attacked him.  But she is more trusting now.  That was when she first came.  Annissa wants so much to play with Harmony and Hercules so I'm going to give that a try.  I will move Missy and Melonie into the smaller yard where Hercules and Harmony have been.  JoJo and Beth Ann under the deck.  Hercules, Harmony and Annissa will go in the larger yard next to Mint and Louise.  Hopefully this will also cut down on the barking at night.  TinTin is the biggest barker, but mostly when Tim is gone.  He went non-stop last night.
      Got new pix up of Harmony and Hercules.  Harmony has not changed.  Hercules has.  Because of age, it should have been the other way around.  I have current of Dillon.  Need to get them up.  Forget things since I could not upload for so long.  A lot of catching up. 
      I upped Goofys' Tramadol  by half a pill.  Between that, the glucosamine and cooler weather, he has become the original Goofy.  Wanted a walk at 3:30 a.m.  Took him and Parker and Zalda.  When I got back, Goofy would not go inside.  Figured he needed to poop so took him again with Chipi, Hanna and Sahara.  He still did not poop.  Got back and he again refused to come in.  So I took him by himself.  Still no poop, but he sure felt important.  The weather was crisp and the sky was clear.  No moon, so the stars were massive and bright.  It was like the many times I walked Keeton.  The few times I walked Fez.  If I have to get up every night/ morning at 2 or 3 a.m. for Goofy, then so be it.  Even if the stars are replaced by rain or snow.  As long as he wants to walk, we will. 
9/12:  No matter how many happy pills I take, I am still tired.  I am still depressed.  I still realize how vulnerable I am to lifes happenings.  I have got to simplify, but rescue is a job you can't just get up and walk away from.  You don't just get up one morning and decide you are finished, because there are dozens of lives depending on you.  And because I am old and forget things sometimes, like the dogs names, does not mean I am stupid!  I have been talked "down to" several times in the past 2 days until I am ready to start screaming and hitting someone.  Don't offer unsolicited advise!  If I want some ones opinion or advise, I will ask for it.  You are not walking in my shoes so don't tell me how to correct a dogs behavior.  If I had one dog or even just a dozen, it would already be corrected.  I don't have the time to take 2 or 3 hours per day, one on one with 36 dogs.  If I do not sleep, eat, bathe or dress, that still only gives each dog 45 minutes. 
    Tim is not here this weekend so with my right knee going out again and my left leg having shooting pain, it took me over an hour just to set bowls down for 22 dogs.  Not picking them up, not doing water, not poop scooping.  Just to get down the stairs, and bend to set the bowls on the decks.  I don't have to do stairs for the 14 in the house so those are done in less then 10 minutes, including picking up the empties.    If a certain 7 dogs were gone plus 5 others, we could condense.  I could let 4 more in the house and Tim could put 2 more in the shop.   No dogs would be left without a human.  But as it is, some dogs just cannot be with certain other dogs.  Cotton cannot be with Parker, but they each get along with all other dogs.  Lakota cannot be with a pack.  His limit is 4 other dogs.  Beyond that, he is aggressively uncomfortable.  Too much activity for him.  My guys accept almost any dog I bring in, but they 'act out' in protest.  Zelda will stand right in front of me a pee on the floor!  It is her way of saying "I will not tolerate that new one".  Gracie Lynn is one she does not want in the house because she is too active.  Zelda, the Matriarch, wants calm, period!  And Gracie Lynn wants to play. 
   On a lighter note, Cola keeps me smiling no matter what.  She has such a great personality.  Now she is carrying 3 food bowls up to the deck.  She has always moved the one she wants to eat out of.  No matter where I put it, she moves it.  Put it on the ground, she puts it in the dry pool.  Put it in the dry pool, she puts it on the ramp.  Put it on the ramp, she carries it to the deck or inside the house.  Put it inside the house and she moves it through the doggie door and down onto the ramp.  This morning I not only found 3 bowels from the wild bunch moved to the deck, she had also come inside and taken Chipi's dish outside. 
     When I started to get dressed this morning, I noticed something black on the deck.  It was the T-shirt I wore yesterday and left laying on the bathroom counter.  I have yet to find my underpants as they were with the shirt.  I learned a long time ago to lock up the pillows when I am not laying on them.  One time she even grabbed one out from under my head in the middle of the night.  Most of the time, now, I sleep in the spare bedroom.  When I do go into my own room, Cola and Pumpkin let me know I am invading "their" space.  They have claimed my bedroom as their own. 
     Cola will lay on the ramp, chin resting on the railing, tail across the other.  This is her 'spot'.  She is not moving and no one dare step over her. 
    But we are making friends.  She actually walked good on leash for me several days ago.  I was thrilled!  And she is limping less.  No idea why as her knees are a birth defect.  But now with her coat cut shorter like the others, and without the limp, I can not tell her apart from Patty or Emo.  
    So, for my life to feel manageable, I would like Missy, Melonie, Olaf, Xena, Beth Ann, Harmony and TinTin to find a place to go.   To make me content, I would like Hawk, JoJo, Gracie Lynn, Wanda and Annissa to find homes.  To make me happy, I would love to see the long timers, Thelma, Louise, Mint, and especially Dillon, Breeze, Faith and Lakota get great homes.  They need people more then any.  They are so depressed and it breaks my heart.   Hercules, Layne and Trip may not go anywhere, but then neither may some of the others.   Trip has his foster Althea.  Hercules would fit fine in the house and Layne is already settled in with Tim.  As for the others, it will take a very special person for each of the wild bunch;  Patty, Pumpkin, Fraz, Emo and Cola.  I want Leslie and Cotton to stay.  That being established, I would be at my 12 Sanctuary dogs.  Life would be as planned.  I could manage.  I could actually make financial ends meet. 
More 9/10:  Leslie came to me for a walk this morning!!  Freedom and Cola are close.  We did take Cola on Tuesday morning when Betty and Nancy came.  She walked really good.  Freedom hated to be left behind, but he is not ready for a leash. I need to get a harness on him, but keeping him still long enough to make it fit properly would be a challenge. 
    Took Lakota to the park for a walk Sunday morning.  I did not know Tim has taken him several times.  Now that the weather should start cooling down, I need to take more of the dogs out into public.  Trouble is, some I just don't have the strength or balance if they decide to chase a squirrel or another dog comes up to them.  I just need some adopted really bad. 
WOW, Filezilla finally fixed their mess.  I am back!!! 
9/10:  Hate that I still cannot upload this.  When the boat starts sinking, everyone you thought a friend abandons ship.  But then that is why I don't like people.  Dogs are there with you no matter what. 
   Tim will be spending time in jail again.  Some he deserves.  Some he does not.  Pled guilty to DUI when he was not driving.  He was not even IN the car. Was sitting on a bench with key in the ignition so he could have the radio on.  Apparently there is some law about "access" or "probably intent".  To me that is a pretty far reach.  To me it is like saying I light a match in the daytime and there is no candle so I must intend to be an arsonist.  Then the biggest miscarriage of justice.  He got charged with "failure to maintain control of his vehicle" down in Clarksville when a truck clipped him, in pouring rain, and sent him off the road and totaled his car.  They sent everything to his brother, who failed to open it and inform him he had a court date.  Now he has a 'failure to appear' and a $1,000 fine and a warrant for his arrest.  I really think his brother needs to take responsibility for the $1,000.  He didn't bring him his mail or call or anything until after the date.  Then he had this court last week on the DUI and the judge did not mention his license was suspended again.  It was in some paperwork Tim signed but did not read.  I've met very few people who read what they sign.  Someone says "this is what you are signing" and they believe it without even looking at it.  Only one in 10 read my adoption agreement they sign.  Well, not knowing this, I lent Tim the money to buy a car. Now it will be sitting. 
    I do not know how I will manage with the dogs.  All those "just let me know if you need help" people are no longer 'available'.  I know Kathleen will do what she can, but she has an old dog who she needs to be with.  I know people have lives, but I feel really 'unfriended'.   
8/30:  Kathleen was the only one who came.  We got a lot done.  She is such a hard worker.  As many aches and pains as I have, but she just keeps going.  We did Hanna, Goofy, Parker and most of Zelda and some of Sahara.  We made a lot of progress on Emo, Patty and Cola.  Cola is not recognizable.  She no longer looks shaggy.  Took her coat to about 4".  She was just blankets of mats.  We will try to even her up the next time Kathleen can come down.
    Had someone shooting off a high powered rifle so brought Gracie Lynn up.  When that was done, took her down.  Then thunder way off in the distance at 2 a.m.  Luckily I woke up as she was well on her way under the fence and hurting herself.  I would not care if she stayed full time in the house, but Zelda protests and Zelda deliberately pees on the floor. 
    After Kathleen left, I took a nap.  I've gotten so little sleep and seems I need more then 4 hours now.  Six is good.  I used to get by on 2.  Old age is really kicking my butt.
8/27:  No way to upload this and now Facebook says I have violated a rule and they will not let me in.  Amazing how we take certain communications for granted.  But I still have a phone and email.... and snail mail which is proving to be totally unreliable. 
8/23:  Don't know when I will be able to upload this to my site.  The storm a few days ago knocked out my internet box (and my phones) and when I put in the new one, I can't upload or use my laptop.  Someone said a firewall, but I turned them off and it still would not work. 
    Auna leaves today.  A great home and I am so glad for her.  She is such a cutie.  I am struggling with another adopter who I approved for Louise.  Every time I talk to him, I feel more reluctant then the time before.  I am literally sick to my stomach over this.  I know he is a good person.  He is just not a "dog person" and does not realize dogs have feelings and need love and understanding.  He also has been giving a stray (who showed up 5 years ago) table scraps and chicken bones.  You can educate until you are blue in the face, but old habits are hard to break..... until they kill one.... and then some just go get another and do it again. 
    And to top it off, heard from the Colorado rescue I sent 3 dogs to.  She adopted one out as a working dog!!!  That will NOT end well.  I am sick to my stomach over that too.  I thought the previous people who ran the rescue were still involved, but I guess not.  I trusted them and they knew their Pyrs. 
     I just want to take the dogs and keep them if the homes are not perfect.  I just can't 'settle' for places I know are not in the dogs best interest.  I can't offer them enough 'people time' here, but other then that it is pretty darn great.  So an adopter has to be able and willing to give them that people time.  Dogs are not fixtures!. 
8/22: unable to upload changes to my site.  Hope I can talk to someone with 'firewall' knowledge today. 
8/20:  What a week so far!!!  Tim got home last night.  He drove them all the way to TX.  Missed his turn on the way home.  Rain storm made travel very bad.  A semi clipped is back end and he was spun off the road into a ditch.  He is hurt but mainly rattled around, bruise and sore.  He was booked into jail for a few hours, then released.  No charges as there was nothing to charge him with.  My phones were blown from the storm so I did not get his message until way after he was released.  He walked from Clarksville to Russelville before he got a ride.  That is 26 miles!!!   He is not sure where his car is other then it was towed.  Talked to the towing co. $268 so far and $35 a day.  Posted on facebook for help to get it out.  Tim's brother said he may be better of not getting it if repairs will be more then value.  Hopefully someone with mechanic experience will answer my FB message. 
    Afternoon:  Weather has been beautiful but I hardly got a chance to be outside to enjoy it.  Number of calls have kept me on the phone most of the day.  Delightful conversations with previous adopter and potential adopter, but 2 lunches ruined so I went to Wendy's.  I usually don't answer when I am cooking or feeding the dogs but so glad I did, despite some wasted noodles.  I've let Tim sleep.  We have work to do this evening.  And some dog shuffling.  AND some apartment cleaning!!!  UGH!
8/18:  What a day yesterday.  Things were not getting done and I was getting annoyed.  Tims' car was gone around 4:00 (feeding time) so I went down to see if Nauna and Colton were there.  I knocked and thought I heard someone say something so I opened the door a crack.  No one was there but... there was a light on in the closet.  I was livid.  They cold burn the place down!  I opened the closet door to turn off the light.... yep, 2 feet tall and bright green and leafy.  Now I was even more livid.  Called the sheriff.  I waited 2 hours.  No one showed up. They did not pass on my call.  When they did, it would be "tomorrow".  In the mean time, Nauna's mom had gotten a hold of her (I did not know they had gotten a cell phone) and told her.  They packed up and were out of here.  A lot more to the story, but that is bottom line.  That could have caught on fire and burned not only the building down, but would have killed the baby and the dogs.  I told Tim this morning I needed help with TinTin to get his stitches out.  He left and has not been back.  I suspect he is driving them to Texas where Colton is not going to meet with any welcome committee.  I'm sure Tim did not know about the pot but I am furious he did not tell me he was taking them to TX and would not be here tonight to take care of the dogs.  I'm real tempted to tell him to pack up.  If he had told me, or said something, but he didn't and left me to take care of things I had not planned on.  If I know, I can get it done.  But not knowing... well...   And the place is a mess.  I do not snoop but I did go in there to look to see if the pot plants had 'moved' as they were gone.  The room is disgusting.  It will get cleaned spotless tomorrow (if he shows up) or he is out.  I cannot handle all this. 
8/16:  3:40 a.m Poor Goofy.  He tried so hard to make it out the door.  He did bark once, maybe twice, but I did not realize it was him 'telling me;.  When you are asleep, it just wakes you up.  Distinction of who is barking does not register.  Sahara, Zelda and Chipi do it a lot when the wild bunch ventures into the livingroom.  So a flow of diarrhea was in the livingroom and kitchen.  Love those puppy pads... not for them to 'go' on but for cleaning up.  I had to wash the dog dished first before I could mop.  Then spray with something to kill the odor.  Then I went looking for Goofy.  I was putting off my worst fear.  With a flashlight in the dark up on the hill, it is so hard to distinguish one white 'lump' from another.  Five were in the house.  The wild bunch was scrambling.  Most of what I was seeing was tree stumps.  Found him way up on the hill.  I had the leash.  He got up!  I was so afraid he would not be able to.  He made it down the hill and went to his usual spot between the window and loveseat.  I will need to figure out what to feed him.  He has eaten very little lately.  Time to cook more chicken and brown rice.  The few pounds I cooked and put in the freezer is going fast.  I don't want to use metronidazol. Don't know if grapefruit seed extract would be strong enough to stop the diarrhea.
8/15:  Some days I get really down and for no big reason.  Just little stuff.  Do not let some friend come over and change his motor oil in my driveway!  GRRRR!  Do not 'de-mat' the dog to the point of near baldness! GRRRR!  The dog grooming /tool area is cluttered to the point of not being able to get around.  That is really making me crazy.  I have to get rid of yard sale stuff .  Way back a dog chewed several cones of thread.  It is not like I can just go to wal-mart and get this kind of thread.  I need it on the overlock but pieces are only several yards long and then the whole damn thing is unthreaded.  JoJo and Cotton got into it and it went beyond growl but Tim was right there.  I never see Cotton do anything but then I know dogs are telepathic.  So we did dog shuffling again!  Beth Ann is just not going to be able to be with another dog, male or female, small or big.  She is now in the lower yard alone.  Auna and Annissa are fence neighbors.  I hope the fence holds.  None of these has tried to break through before so hope not now.  Wanda is coming back so she will share the big yard behind the computer room with JoJo.  Right now Breeze is keeping him company and Lakota is not happy.  But he has Gracie Lynn.  GL and JoJo would have been a better pairing, but GL would go over the other fence and can't swap yards because Lakota would have male dogs on both sides.  Be constant fence fighting.  People have no clue what this is like.  If someone were to be hired to do "rescue" as I do it, it would require a 6 figure salary with monthly bonuses when no blood is drawn.  
8/14:  Up a good part of the night.  Heard commotion and dogs were barking at something in the front yard.  I had moved Molly to the lower yard and re-shuffled others since there was immediately fence fighting.  I was sure Molly was out.  In the process of walking down in the dark, I saw Missy and Melonie in the wrong yard!  They were in with Mint and Louise.  Everyone was happy!  I woke up Tim to help me do further investigating.  I told him he had to come look (at the 4 together).  Then he told me I had to see his adventure in the shop. 
     JoJo is having such a wonderful time..... re-arranging all my sewing stuff.  He took quite a few rolls of webbing off the wall.  He unrolled one to be sure I was not cheated on the 50 yards (150 feet!) they claim to be on a roll. He must have been satisfied as he had not unrolled the rest....yet.   He drug out some stacks of fabric and re-sorted it for me, laying it out on the floor so I could see what I had.  He also unfolded some so I would know how big the pieces were.  Such a thoughtful boy.
     Finally made it down to see if Molly was still in the yard.  Yes, she was, but because of our intrusion, I'm sure she would have broke out shortly once we had left her.  We put her back in the garage yard.  She seemed more content then the first night. I have already learned to leave the light on.  I believe she is afraid of the dark. 
     Finally back to bed only to listen to a far off dog bark a monotonous bark...bark...bark... non-stop until 4 a.m.  I asked Tim this morning who?  Faith!  Apparently her and Thelma and Hawk take turns on different nights.  I'm glad they have an arrangement worked out.  I'm also glad they do go off patrol at 4 so I can get in a mini-nap before I get up around 6.  
     Woke up from that mini nap at 6:45.  Good thing I did not get up and wander into the livingroom during that long 'awake' spell.  Diarrhea literally through out the living room.  Poor Goofy did not know which way to go.  Suspect he was trying to get out and someone was blocking one door and one of the wild ones was barking at him at the other.   By now it was partially dry so much harder to clean up.  It is now 8:45 a.m.  I've been up 2 hours and an hour of that was spent mopping over and over again.  I'm not the cleanest person, but the thought of sitting on a floor that might still have poop residue on it just is not going to happen.  And I do sit on the floor a lot and wallowering (sp) around when trying to get up.
   Need to call the local adopter and discus some issues she must not be aware of.  Pyrs bark and dogs knock 'breakables' off anything tail or nose high or lower.  Time to go down and JoJo proof the work room.

8/13: 4 a.m. Been up since 1:00.  Goofy had to go potty.  Then Lacy had to go potty.  Neither can manage alone.  Lacy can barely see in the daylight, let alone at night.  Goofy just needs help as struggles through the doggie door and off the deck so we go out front.  Went back to bed and before I could go back to sleep, they were all going crazy.  The new girl, Molly, was in the car section of the garage.  Tore the fence to pieces.  I had just had Tim spend over an hour reinforcing it.  It will all have to be torn out now and kennel panels put inside the garage (after they are reinforced).  Donít know where I will steal them from as everything is being used.  Two 33 pound bags of Senior dog food destroyed.  Dog food is everywhere.  The senior is more expensive and I had, HAD being key word, enough to last a month when I make my next order.  Not any more.  The air conditioner was almost falling out the window.  She had opened the window so nothing was holding it in. It is the best one I have.  About $300 to replace it.  Thank God it didnít fall.  She looks just like Sprite and she acts just like Sprite except she has fear aggression of dogs rather than fear aggression towards people.  I have adopters coming in less then 8 hours and I am faced with where to put Molly so she does not get loose and where to put Lacy to keep her safe.  I have to open up the house to all the dogs and the wild ones scared Lacy.  I canít have Molly running loose causing a problem.  I am just ready to break down again.
     Evening.  Sometime one word can crush a plan. This word was "breakables".  If you are going to have inside dogs with big wagging tails, you can't have 'breakables'.  Damn! 

8/11:  Assembly line for rabies shots (and a few HW tests) went great.  Took about 25 minutes to run them all through.  Left time to give Wendy the 'tour'.  Vets are usually limited to what ever space a dog is in.  We did the wild bunch in my bedroom.  Tim marked their heads with colored marker after each rabies shot.  The rest I can easily tell apart.  We did them in the family room, Tim and Colton bringing them up one at a time and then keeping the rotation flowing. 
   I'm taking in a female Pyr tomorrow.  Fully vetted.  Walks with a limp.  Broke the leg as a puppy and their vet said it was fine!  Girl has been passed around among relatives for the 2 years of her life.  She prefers to patrol property then go inside.  Also likes to be in charge.  Couple of Pits in the mix and things are starting to escalate as the Pits leave puppyhood.  Apparently she's never been groomed.  Think I have a home for her.  Really didn't want her until the weekend but after a day late with Spirit and her being hit by a car, I don't want to be a day late with this girl encountering the Pits. 
8/10:  Val came yesterday and helped me organize dog records.  Called for vet to come out tomorrow and get everybody caught up.  Figuring time and gas to take 20 to the vet, it made more sense to do a farm call.  Wendy will be out at 2:00 tomorrow. 
     I sewed today.  Had been working on dark blue collars.  Finished up 20.  Did yellow last week.  Think a total of about 30.  More blue tomorrow.  A light blue.  Then move to a navy.  Then Black.  Got to get some purple and lavender foundations made so Candy can pick her top fabric when she comes.  I have to be in a color mood to make things look right.  I really do not have many purple or lavender print choices.  More then I can ever make up in blue, red, tan and black.  So many cool prints.  It is my relaxation. 
     JoJo was so glad to have me in the shop.  He is so funny.  He just plays non-stop.  I could really love this guy.  Cotton was glad to see me too.  Took him for a walk.  He kept heading for the house.  Breaks my heart.  I really miss him but Now he would have the added problem of Fraz and Emo picking on him.  Was bad enough with Parker and Freedom.  Now only TinTin causes him a problem.  TinTin is a royal pain.  Terrorizes JoJo.  A 27 pound dog chasing a 100 pound dog up on a bed to escape! 
     Just 13 dogs in the house.  All 'spares' are out for the day.  No storm so Gracie Lynn will stay put.  Auna was torn between being inside and missing Annissa.  She had to be snarky when I put her back in there.  I told them to 'work it out' and left.  They did and no blood. 
8/8:  Lost a day?  Shuffled dogs again.  Someone interested in Auna so brought her back into the house.  She was great in here before and is again.  Still need to work a bit on the potty thing but if no one is blocking the doggie door, we are ok.  She is very happy to be in but she does miss Annissa.  I have not put anyone with Annissa yet.
     Moved JoJo in with Tim to see how he and Faith would do.  I knew it would be fine.  JoJo is just such a great fella.  Everything went well except TinTin scared him.  Nipped at his leg.  Poor JoJo got up on a toddler bed to get away from him.  TinTin settled down after some reprimands.  I also need to move Missy in there.  The local lady is trying to decide which dog (s) to try so I am testing to see who does well together.  I pretty much can predict with 90% accuracy, but I do have to be sure on that other 10%.  I'd load Tim up if it were not for Cotton.  He gets so overwhelmed. He just wants a quiet corner and someone to be special for.  I really miss him up here.  But Freedom on one side and Parker on the other going after him was so sad. 
      I also moved Gracie Lynn back with Breeze and Lakota.  That will last as long as she wants it to and not one minute longer.  Now she would be great for the local adopter if she would not be so timid towards her.  Gracie Lynn still has trust issues until she really gets use to someone.... of course Tim is the exception.  She is never going to be his friend. 
     I took a nap again today.  About 2 hours.  Just can not get motivated.  I wanted to make more collars.  I finished several dozen yellow.  Now working on 3 shades of blue.  Will be making about 30 to 40 total.  Then Purple.  Then Lavender.  Candy wants for Becky and Leo. 
    Now I remember what I did yesterday.  I went shopping!  Got some fabric at the thrift store for mattress covers for the dogs.  Did several loads of laundry pre-shrinking the fabric.  Also several loads of personal stuff, like my bedspread that JoJo had to christen. 
    Local lady came by and did more dog visiting.  Brought her mom who fell in love with JoJo.  That was yesterday also.
8/6:  Had to get TinTin into the vet.  Had a neck wound.  Not sure what from.  I cannot imagine Cotton, Faith or Lucky causing it.  Don't know of any sharp objects he could have gotten into.  Hopefully not a copperhead bite.  Anxious to hear from the vet.  3 hours. They are always so busy, don't even know if they got to him yet. 
     Off and on in the past 24 hours, I think I got naps accumulative to equal 10 hours sleep.  Actually had some energy this morning.  Steam cleaned the bedroom area rugs.  One was filthy.  The other not so bad.  Well, not so bad compared with 'really filthy'.  I still have the wall to wall in the other bedroom where I have been sleeping with the pack. 
     JoJo had a time with the vacuum.  I'm not sure what he thought.  I am sure it was a brand new experience.  He chased it, barked at it, nipped at it, raced circles around me and it.  I removed him and closed the door when I steam cleaned. 
     JoJo is a delight other then needing more potty training.  He just does not like that doggie door flap after it slapped him in the face the first day.   He is pretty confident on "in" but not fond of "out".  And while on the subject of potty... I've had dogs who think me sitting on the pot creates a captive audience for petting.  I'm usually followed so closely, I can't get the door closed between me and them.  At least one makes it through.  I usually don't even bother to try to close the door.  JoJo is no exception.  Where he is the exception is his efforts beyond the 'pet me' point.  Paw in my underwear.  Attempts to climb in my lap.  Nose in my crotch.  I'm not sure if he wants to smell or see what is making that tinkling noise.  Toilet paper... he wants to help.  No JoJo, I need more then one square.  No, JoJo, I don't need the whole roll.  Can we learn to count to 4? 
      He has discovered toys!  But we need to make a distinction.  Not everything in his reach is a toy.  Not everything on the floor is a toy.  Fuzzy little animal shaped things that might still squeak are probably a toy... unless it is alive.  Then you can kill it as we do not have cats or birds or gerbils.  Things mommy puts on her feet are not toys.   Things that hold up mommy's boobs are not tuggy toys.  And dirty underwear are not chew toys.  Paper is not a chew toy.  An empty box is not a chew toy.  Neither is a full one. 
     He has discovered special treats in his food bowl.  Only house dogs get them every day.  The outside dogs do on occasion.  No, JoJo, the treat topping on every bowl is not yours.  Just in your bowl. 
     Going for a walk.  I have to get Goofy out first thing or 'it' falls and flows out.  I grab Parker and Zelda also.  Parker because he is old and sweet and Zelda because she will deliberately pee on the floor if I leave her behind.  That now leaves 5 who want to go and are left behind until a second trip.  No, JoJo, do not jump up on the glass door.  No, JoJo, do not catch the deadbolt with your paw and lock me out. No, JoJo, do not race into the family room and try to open the window THROUGH the vertical blinds.  JoJo, you can watch from the yard.... oh, that's right, you don't do "out" on the doggie door.  At least he has not figured out how to lock the family room door like the ghost was doing.  So second trip, I take 5 dogs.  JoJo in the lead.   
JoJo is my shadow.  He never had a human to call his own before.  His humans were in the house while he lingered outside tied up or in a small pen.  He never got to come into the house.  He never got loved on.  I can pretty much be sure of that as when he got drool on the lady who owned him, she like freaked to get it washed off.  When you love a dog, drool is part of the equation.  So is dog hair and eventual incontinence.  11:30 a.m. and the morning events wore sweet JoJo out.  He sleeps at the side of my desk.  It was a busy morning. 
     8:17 p.m.  And I hear the sound of paper ripping.  I turn around in my computer chair to see my wall paper being pulled off the wall!  Guess who?  I lot of it has come off through the years but it was from under the windows where there was some moisture.  I kind of had it balanced where it looked a bit intentional.  Not any more.  I love you JoJo, but this adjustment period is going to be about as tough as when Sprite invited himself in and ate my antique chair arm.  At least Sprite didn't pee in the house.  Hear that JoJo? 
8/5:  Moved dogs.  TinTin is in the shop.  Xena and Olaf hit it off right away.  Xena had been lonesome for 2 days without having to be mother to Hercules.  She was lost.  This is what I had hoped for.  She immediately was ready for a friend.  I LOVE when my plans work!  They don't always.  The divider fence is still up in the lower yard where I put them.  Want to be sure all continues to go well before I take it down and give them a huge yard.  The gate joining the separation is open so they have use of the house and the carport. 
    Annissa and Auna are now in the yard under the deck.  They have real space protection going on so this way they do not share a fence line with anyone.   
    Moved Beth Ann to the end yard by the house.  I'm hoping her being near the house pack will calm her towards other dogs.  I feel totally inadequate with her issues. 
     Melonie and Missy moved in where Beth Ann was the past few days.  We took that divider fence down completely and moved it into the main back yard for the wild bunch.  We closed off the doggie door to the shared building as they now have access to the doggie duplex.  Hawk and Thelma were very glad to get full use of their house back.  They were not fond of sharing. 
     We just got the fencing up for the wild ones when it started to rain.  We really cut it close.  Now they can go out and potty without me chasing them across the creek and falling and coming up looking like the creature from the Black Lagoon.  All I have to do is open gates in good weather and they have full run of the acreage.  Had it that way before but with the dog overload, I had to move it to make 2 yards out of one.  those days are over! 
     Talked with Possums foster this morning.  They are adopting him.  I know Althea will foster Trip as long as necessary.  I know Susan is probably ready for Julie to come here.  Without having to re-divide any yards, I am ready for her as soon as the local lady picks which dog(s) she wants. 
   I'm at 36 with 2 in foster.  Seven of those are Sanctuary dogs, (Goofy, Parker, Zelda, Chipi, Hanna, Sahara and Freedom)  not going anywhere until they cross the Rainbow Bridge.  Of the remaining 31, four are heartworm positive (Lakota, Trip, Layne & JoJo).  Hercules has a heart defect.   Of the 26, six are still pretty un-social. (Patty, Pumpkin, Fraz, Emo, Cola and Leslie.  Although I do have a potential adopter for one. The remaining 20 are, for the most part healthy, happy and really good adoption candidates.  Local lady may take 2.  Best of the remaining 20 are Breeze, Faith, Dillon,  Mint, Thelma, Louise, Olaf, Xena, Annissa, Julie, Missy and TinTin.  A bit harder will be Auna, Gracie Lynn (ok, a lot harder),  Beth Ann (dog fear) , Harmony, Melonie, Hawk (kills cats & chickens) .....Cotton is older and has less chance.   and who 2 am I missing???  
8/4:  Otis, Spirit and Bandit are on the road with Sandra to KC.  I put Hercules and Harmony together.  Perfect!  Hercules is in his glory.  He never went in the water when with Xena.  Now he is romping in and out.  In about 15 minutes he actually wore Harmony out.  We put JoJo in with Beth Ann.  That will take some watching.  Beth was attacked by another dog so has trust issues.  JoJo is so laid back, I think being with him will help her get over some fear.  But I need to be sure she does not pick on him.  I really do not want Beth Ann.  Never did.  One problem dog (Lakota) is enough.  Still need to separate Olaf and TinTin.  TinTin will go in the shop and I will work on putting Olaf and Xena together.
      Spent 2 hours plus on the bed with Pumpkin last night grooming her up.   Was not that long ago, maybe a month, or 6 weeks.  But always miss spots.  I had to leash her to keep her from bailing on me.  Tried to walk her on lead this morning.  I did drag her out the door.  We did make a little progress.  Walked down the walkway.  50 feet in about 15 minutes.  But progress is progress.   Leslie went reluctantly.  She is good for me but Betty and Nancy are still strangers to her.  But she did pretty good.  I tried Freedom but that is not going to happen.  He almost bit the leash in two and we were not even out of the kitchen.  I let him go after a few minutes before I totally destroyed any trust I had gained with him. 
     Got to get to the store.  Then home in time for the lady that says she is coming.  I am not re-arranging anything any more.  And I have not heard back on the Newf girl.  I'd much rather add black to the pack in the form of a Newf then a little black lab named Melonie. 
    Evening:  Not all the dog shuffling went well. Beth Ann kept attacking JoJo for nothing he was doing.  He is scared of her.  I put him in an empty yard and he cried.... so he is in the house.  Checked everything out.  Did NOT mark!!!  Getting along fine with the others.  Gracie Lynn is making him crazy wanting to play.  The wild bunch attempted to gang up on him but just a word of caution from me and they left him alone.  He explored their side and Fraz and Emo were a bit 'supervisial' A few words of warning from me and that solved things.  Love it when they listen!!
    Lovely local lady came today.  She saw my flyer.  No computer.  I made her a personal flyer of all the available dogs for her to take home.  She really likes Missy and Missy liked her.  She has quite a few others on her list too.  Once I get the application, she can pick one and then if it is not a fit, then try another.  Be like a vacation for each dog and me too. 
    Hercules and Harmony continue to have a great time together.  It had not been a match I had considered before today.   Hopefully he will not over tax his heart, but he can't live in a bubble like Xena was making him do.  Without quality of life quantity means nothing.
8/3:  Someone else is coming tomorrow to look at the dogs.  She called about a month ago but can't remember the particulars. 
     SUV is loaded except for dogs.  Otis, Bandit and Spirit will be off to Colorado.  Will spend the night in KC at a kennel where CARE will pick them up Wed. morning.  I have been a nervous wreck.  I always am.  Thankfully I have someone great to transport.  Dave could have also, but I didn't check with him on his schedule.  Oh well, it would have been quite a load for his vehicle.  I have someone coming up this week to meet the wild bunch.  I think she has the skills but not sure she wants to take on the challenge. 
    Brought Melonie up today.  She is into everything so she will be a 'daytime' visitor for awhile.  I would not sleep wondering what she was destroying.  She has a wonderful disposition.  I like her.  Didn't think I would.  A miniature Sweetness with all the desires as well as all the insecurities. 
     My stomach has been complaining all day.  I think my ability to eat frozen yogurt again has again come to an end.  It was great while it lasted. 
8/2: 7:00 a.m. An interesting occurrence.  Normally I close the doors and gates between the wild ones when I feed.  Then about an hour later I open them.  The 7 on 'this' side know the rules:  No sticking your nose in anyone elses bowl.  But the wild bunch grazes and no one has a designated spot.  They have figured it out on their own and it works.  The wild ones wanted to stay on 'this side' this morning so I just want ahead and fed everybody.  Bowls went in their usual places.  This is the first time Fraz and Emo have come to eat without waiting for the others to finish.  The other 5 wild ones were perfectly content to go eat later.  And the 7 on this side know not to bother food that is not theirs.  I am thrilled. 
     Val will come today to help.  Hope the heat does not rise so dogs can get walked.  If it does, they will just get brushed.       
     Have a potential adopter coming this afternoon.  Not gotten an application but she is affiliated with TEJAS and had one of their dogs as a service dog.  Her service Newf has come down with an illness and needs replaced.  I want the Newf!  I don't know what the procedure is, but I miss having a Newf.  She will not be a Fez, but just a big black 'rug' to step over.  If it is meant to be, it will happen.  She is looking at Lakota, which I do not think is a good choice, but then I see miracles every day. I'm not sure what her needs are, just that it needs to be a big dog. 
     I also have a great app for one of the wild ones. I think she can handle the needs and challenges of one.  Will finish up on the app Monday so she can make plans to travel and meet them. I wish she was rural, but it is a very off set high end residential area that is close knit and they watch out for one another and one anothers dogs.  I have another app that I like for a wild one, but I really don't think they understand what Feral means. 
     8:00 a.m. Day is going down hill fast.  I ended up near hysterics.   I got the paperwork all mixed up for the dogs going on transport Tuesday morning.  I got a health certificate for Blake instead of Bandit.  I can't find the records for the HW tests for 2 of them.  I could not find the rabies cert. for one but do have receipt where it was given.  I could not find the DHPP for 2 that I know I gave.  I worm and give DHPP the day they arrive unless I have paperwork showing it was recently done.  I realized why I was confused on Chloe and nothing was done because I did Spirit twice.  They look a lot alike and Spirit was in the house for awhile.  I got so confused that I just started to cry and could not stop.  Thank goodness Val was coming.  She helped me straighten out the paperwork on the 3 for transport.  I will have to get a HC for Bandit and the HW test results print out for Otis faxed from the vet who did it.  Got to have this tomorrow as leaves Tuesday.  I also had to go down and give 2 DHPP and the bordatella.  I am just losing my mind.  I have got to get all the adoptables gone.  I can't do all this by myself.
    Afternoon:  Well, potential adopter is out.  She did not have the courtesy to call and cancel.  Nothing.  When you set an appointment, you should show up and if you are not going to make it, at least call.  I re-arranged everything for today.  I ran Val home and did not even get groceries while I was in town.  Thought I needed to be home for this person.  I had Tim groom out Lakota which cost me money.  He was just combed out 2 weeks ago but they are all shedding so bad.  I rushed a sandwich for lunch.  I have fought to stay awake since I was up several times during the night for extended periods.  Full moon.  Lots of barking.  2:00 now.  Too late for a nap.  I'm going to go make a few more collars.  I wish I could send 'no shows' a bill like a doctor does and turn it over to collection if they do not pay. 
8/1:  Seeming empty.  Only 14 dogs in the house.  Tuesday Otis, Spirit and Bandit leave.  I have a couple of good applicants for the wild ones.  One has the experience to take any of them.  The other needs one close to ready.  I'm just not sure if one is really close enough.  I don't think too many people really understand they were feral, not just frightened and unsocial.  There is a difference when it comes to building trust.  A frightened, scared, previously abused dog has a foundation of people interaction. They understand what a human is even though it was probably bad.  A feral dog has only a glimpse of someone on 2 legs and not 4.  They have no basis from their senses to build on.  No human smell.  Maybe a distant sound, but it would blend with a tractor or machinery.  They would not know what was making the sound.  Sight; one creature, alone, moving and joining moving objects that make noise.  No taste.  No licking of human skin.  Feral = isolation.  Unsocial = too much interaction of the wrong kind. 
     Layne is hogging attention from Dillon.  He is such a sweetheart.  Always has been.  He goes outside and she plops herself across the doggie door so he can't come in.  We put the canopy gazebo thing up in the yard.  Additional shade.  Put their wading pool under it and also an old swing I had in the back yard.  I had some old huggy pillows so quickly sewed together a cover for them to make cushions for the swing.  Somehow I mis-measured.  They are a few inches to small but I'm not doing it over.  Brain is just too tired.
   I put in a roast this morning and it is ready.  Going to sit down and have some lunch and then maybe a nap.
7/30:  Tim just found the shedding of a very large rattler in the walkway between the dog yards.  They will be out there spraying as soon as Colton gets the weeds down inside the yards.  I know that seems backwards, but we need the weeds down so the spray wont get cut off and strewn.  Tim will be spraying under all the buildings.  Just one more added stress. 
7/29:  The 'wild bunch' has literally taken over my bedroom.  When I sleep in there, several of them come and and bark at me as if to say 'get out'.  I headed in there to get a different pair of shoes this morning and was told, via woof woof, that I was not welcome in "their" space.  I love it!  For them to feel so comfortable in MY space that they claimed it, is wonderful. 
7/28:  I've not mentioned the crazy rich bitch but I think she has went too far.  Some time back she threatened to destroy me and the rescue.  Tim was in jail the past few days on an out of state warrant that did not exist!!!  The rich bitch has deputies on her payroll.  Money will buy just about anything and just about anyone.  There is no way to prove it, but there is no other explanation.  All I can hope for is Karma gets her damn quick.  (He did get out last night after contact with an attorney in that state).
7/26: This weekend covered The good, the bad, the pretty and the ugly. The good was an amazing bunch of ladies showing up to groom dogs. The bad (or rather sad) was that they all had to eventually go home. The pretty was the way the many dogs look when we got done working on them. The ugly was my body after a run in with a pile of rocks in the creek at midnight in a rain, thunder and lightening storm. The storm was unexpected and Fraz and Emo had never been in the house. I had just moved them where they could come in but they did not know how. I HAD to get them inside. There was absolutely no shelter out on the hill. I had to run them off the hill and then pray they would go up the ramp. Fraz finally did, but Emo kept doubling back. About 20 minutes into the 'circus', I slipped crossing the creek. When I finally gave up screaming for help (no one could hear me for the storm) I dragged myself out of the creek, off the rocks and was finally able to get to my feet. Emo was still on the hill. I prayed out loud very loudly "Please make Emo go inside". Several more passes and several more pleading prayers and he went up the ramp. Thank you God!.
     I got into the house and closed everyone inside. Then I went into the bathroom to dry off. The rain running down my face turned out to be blood running out of my nose. My nose was swollen. Without the mirror, I could only see the bloody knees, the bloody hands and swollen arm. I was covered in mud. leaves, blood and rain. I seriously looked like the creature from the black lagoon. I started a bath. Decided I didn't want to sit in the mud. While the tub filled, I took a shower. Clogged the drain with all the creek debris. Then took a bath. More creek debris floated around me. I finished off with a second shower where still more debris fell out of my hair. Then I woke Candy up. I know if I had woke her up before I cleaned up, she would have thought the zombies had invaded and probably did me more harm then the rocks in the creek did. She went back to sleep unaware of my adventure. Boy I wish I could sleep like that :-)
Next morning, I could barely move. the swelling on the arm had gone down but the nose had grown. Hands looked good and were functional. Back was killing me. Kathleen rubbed some stuff on me and said I had a lump where there should not be one and I was black and blue. No idea how I could fall on my face and bruise my back. And my voice is just about gone. Guess the screaming for help strained my vocal cords.
      Candy and Kathleen left at noon. The others had just come for Saturday only. I finished up Emo since Kathleen and I had him cornered. Dog food is dished, I'm feeding a little early and then going to bed. My body is a wreck. But aside from the fall in the creek, it was a wonderful weekend. Can't wait for the next one end of August.

P.S. and Mary Ann took Blake home. A perfect dog for a perfect couple.

7/24:  Seems like everything hits at once, but there is no break in between.  Candy on  her way with the very sick Pyr so ready to head to the vet and meet here there as soon as she gets to town.  Transporter called and van broke down 3 hours from here.  Sent Tim to fill up my SUV in case repairs are going to take more then the 3 hours it will take for him to get to her.  He will load the crates and be ready.  Then I need to see if it is possible for me to rent him a car for him to get back here if the van won't be fixed for him to bring it back.  And of course, I'd need permission for him to drive the van back if it were fixable in the next 24 hours.  I feel really sorry for the transporter.  These things can just ruin a great day. 
7:23 evening:  Incoming tomorrow.  Candy will be here bringing me one in very bad shape.  Infected puncture wounds from a pit bull attack that happened right there at the shelter where she was at.  She also has what to Candy appears to be chemical burns on a large portion of her body.  As soon as they get to town Candy will take her straight to my vet and I will meet them there.  It sounds horrific. 
     Cotton seems glad to be home and glad to be down in the shop with Tim.  It is just Cotton, Faith and Lucky.  We moved the others because they started to pick on Cotton.  He just seems to be a target.  Poor guy.  I will be so glad when I am down to around 20.  No one will be left out without a person and a "home" environment.
7/23:  Cotton went into surgery this morning.  I'm a basket case.  Just too much stress.  Transport forms that don't work, dogs no one wants, applicants that vanish and applicants that want the same dog.  Paperwork.  I hate paperwork.  So far behind on thank yous.  So far behind on keeping the dogs records in order.  I want everything that is broken to be fixed.  And since none of this is going to go away, I just want for me to go away..... with my sanctuary dogs.  
    I am struggling with putting Cotton with Tim.  I want to keep him with me, but he is miserable.  He lays on my bed all day.  I have to escort him out because Freedom is mean to him on one side and Parker is mean to him on the other.  I'm trying to get Freedom and Leslie to be on the front side and then open up the gate for Fraz and Emo to be on the back side and hopefully take trusting cues from Cola, Patty and Pumpkin.  I know there would be a fight with Freedom.   And I know Freedom needs Leslie as his support system. 
7/22:  Edison crossed the Rainbow Bridge this morning.  He went very peacefully.  It was very hard for me.  It seems the less time they are here, that harder it hurts.  When they have been here a long time, I know I have given them many happy years.  But when they have only been here months, I hate that I was not able to make up for all the sadness they had in their life.  I guess that is the difference between the heart of a rescuer and the heart of a regular dog lover.
    We stayed busy.  It rained off and on all day but I kept Tim on the roof and Colton putting in screws so we could finish getting the roof on the porch.  Only 2 panels to go.  They will be the hard ones as they will have to be cut and somehow adhere to corrugation running at an angle. 
    I took Cotton into the vet and his incision is infected.  He goes back in for surgery tomorrow morning to re-open it and clean it out.  UGH!  I should have put him on cephalexin on day one.   
    When we were done with the roof, Tim helped me take the ones in that are going to Colorado.  I needed weights.  I should have just taken the van.  Crates are already in it.  No AC, but it was cool today with all the light showers. 
     Carly leaves Friday for Michigan.  All of a sudden I am getting a lot of adoption inquires.  I sure hope they follow through and that they are good homes. 
7/20:  Got a PM message to take a dog.  Local.  Moving.  Could not find a place that allowed dogs.  3 year old Pyr mix.  Very pretty girl, vetted.  I can't.  Who will???  It is not my responsibility.  But who will make her theirs??  I can't even help find her a home because I can't even find homes for the 30 some adoptables that are here that need them.  I have 3 going to rescue in Colorado but I can't even get them to KC for transport.  No room to take all 3 at once.  Only rescues understand.  Even rescue helpers do not completely understand.   Just one more dog.  How could that be so hard?  Well, 1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1 +1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1 +1+1+1+1+1+1+1 that is the difference it makes!!!   Then you figure each one of those "1"s represents $50 a month (food, preventatives, added electricity, poop that will eventually be paid to haul. away.)  In addition to that, vet bills.  Some will have few.  Some will have huge.  Never does one have none.  Add gas to go to the vet.  For some add gas to transport in or out.  If I adopted out every single dog tomorrow, it would take an adoption fee of $1000 per dog to cover the past 12 months expenses. 
     Nauna and baby are coming home this morning.  Tim and I had to close up that gap in the wall so wasps and flies can't come in.  When we tore off to make the porch, there was nothing but air space up above.  Tim has done almost everything.  Colton is in for a surprise.  He is going to work for me for about 20 hours and Tim is going to get the money as it was Coltons job to do for his and Naunas apartment. 
7/19:  Nauna had her baby early this morning.  Tim stayed at the hospital with them until it was born.  He came home to feed the dogs and go to bed.  He slept until 1:00.  Hot today so we will work on the porch roof in the morning and hopefully get it close to finished.  The rest of the roof tin will be here Wednesday.  I mis-calculated.  Then mis-calculated again, but I ordered double what I thought I was short so that was good!  For some reason 10 x 32" kept coming up 10 pieces for 32' .  DUH! 
7/18:  Dogs look too much alike in the semi darkness of night lights.  Woke up many times during the night.  Eating buffet did not agree with me.  Chloe had been stretched out next to the toilet each time.  I counted dogs as I often do.  With them all up there in years, I worry one will go outside, fall down and not be able to get up.  I went around with each name in my head, accounting for each.  Parker was missing.  I looked in all his usual places and those places he would not be.  Put on some shorts and shoes and prepared to get the flash light and go outside.  One more trip through the house.  Then it dawned on me.  Chloe could not be in 2 places at once.  Chloe had moved into the livingroom behind the loveseat.  Parker had taken her spot by the toilet.  All accounted for.  All quiet.  Almost 5 a.m.  Maybe I can get just a little more sleep if I go back to bed right now.
  After morning chores:  Stuck with Betty Crocker for breakfast.  Prefer Martha Wright.  A few words before the timer goes off and I can eat. I did go back to sleep for a few minutes.  Did not want to get out of bed but finally decided I'd better.  6:15 and running behind.  Got the remainder of the dogs bowls washed that I had not finished last night and got three out the door at a time for a walk.  I usually only take Goofy, Parker and Zelda but tired of cleaning up 'protest pee' because Chloe did not get a walk.  No pee to clean up since she got a walk.  Zelda will do the same thing.  Protest pee; only she will look right at me in defiance. 
    A bit cooler this morning so hopefully we can get the rest of the porch studs up and the metal on.  I had to order more metal roofing which will be here Wednesday.  Where I came up with 22' is beyond me.  Probably as that is the lingth of the yard.  A 10' and a 12' panel.  The porch is 32' plus an overlap onto a different roof.  I needed 3 more so ordered 6.  Not taking any chances this time.  Good thing there is no delivery charge to the store.  Hopefully we will not run into any more surprises.   
7/17:  We worked until a few minutes past noon on the porch roof.  So darn hot.  Getting Tim to come down is hard.  He gets obsessed with finishing.  I took them to lunch.  Of course the food did not agree with me.  I am only safe with Wendys.  Any restaurant, fast food or buffet just attacks my stomach.  After eating, we stopped at Lowes and picked up the few pieces of lumber I was short.  Tim says we will finish tomorrow.  What an optimist.  Before we started yesterday, I thought we'd be done today. 
      Layne and Dillon are so happy to have a people house.  They have been in with Nauna and Colton for several days.  Dillon has regained that sparkle he had when he was in the shop with Tim.  Layne was probably a house dog at one time. I do not even remember where she came from.  She is very happy too.  I just wish I had a place for all of them, but more important, forever homes. 
     Several applications but when I email questions, no reply.  Then others want a 'right now' answer and if they don't get it within 2 days, I get an email "I found another dog".  At least they let me know but it is not like it matters.  As long as they are adopting and not buying. 
7/16 evening:  Out in the heat this morning until 11:30.  The best laid plans hit a big block.  Actually, lack of block.  Our shop building was build without a header!!!  The plan was simple.  We place a 2x4 across the front of the building.  Screw the heck out of it and put some exterior supports at strategic locations.  Then attach the 2 x 4 hangers to that and run the studs.  Support the front, lay the cross bracings and then ready for the metal roofing.  I figured about 8 hours with the 3 of us working on it.  Plan was to get half done this morning.  Finish it up tomorrow.  Not even close. 
    First the screws would not pierce the metal siding.  We ran wide masking tape so we could tap the porch beam and it would show us where the screws were set.  Then we'd get the drill and start pilot holes.  Got the tape started.  Drilled a hole.  Nothing!  We hit nothing!!  Decided we better investigate.  We marked off a level line across the front of the building.  After spending an hour digging through tools, we found a metal blade to cut the siding.  Tim cut the first piece.  For the life of me I have not a clue what has held up the roof since it was built in 1989. A 22 foot span had 2 vertical supports plus end supports.  Cutting 6" down, we found a cross beam.  Tim did the cutting.  Colton hacked away at the foam insulation that was hard as rock.  I cut the verticals we would need to support the roof and screw our porch beam to.  We got about 10' cleaned, and supported.  We had started before 8:00.   We will be at it again as soon as the dog chores are done tomorrow.  We have to at least get the porch beam in place incase we get rain.  If it were to rain, we will be in big trouble.  No way to tarp it or cover it.  I must brag.  I do have a creative mind.   Nothing is going to stop me from overcoming the unexpected.      
    Cotton was in front of the cabinet where I keep my night clothes.  Reaching in and grabbing without seeing, I ended up with 2 left slippers.  I settled and wore one on the right foot anyway.  I step over and mop around them too.
7/16 :    Storm hit around 5:00.  Very loud thunder.  Had to grab Gracie Lynn and bring her in.  She was frantic jumping between Lakota's yard and JoJo's yard trying to find an escape to the house.  I went to bed last night at around 6:00.  I must have slept like a rock.  Woke up at 7:45.  Wow!  Grabbed on my shoes and got Goofys leash.  Got him, Zelda and Parker out the door.  Usually Goofy is peeing down the walk way.  Not this morning. Then I realized the sun was in the wrong place!  It was 7:45 P.M., not A.M.    Good thing I walked them before I dished up the dog food and got my breakfast cake into the oven.
    I did manage to go back to sleep but nature called again at midnight.  Took care of my needs and then decided Cotton had been in too long.  I closed off the path to get outside with him and took him for a walk.  Leslie loves to go with, but afraid of the leash going on.  She got left behind tonight.  She is getting really attached to me too.  I think she is a bit older then the 5 year estimate.  Maybe 7 or 8.  She just acts tired.  Who knows how many years she was chained to that igloo all alone with no human or animal interaction.  She craves the hugs we share and enjoys the combing.  She rarely mats.  Her coat is like Saharas, bunny fur. 
    Poor Cotton.  He is afraid of Parker on the front side and Freedom on the back side so he hides in my bedroom or bathroom all day and night.  His big adventure is his walks or when I go in and sit with him.  Breaks my heart but I don't know what to do.  I can't send Parker down to the shop.  I can't move Freedom.  Freedom is so close to letting me approach him.  He will stand just out of reach of me now, studying me.  No more fear, just a little uncertainty.  I try to comb him once a week for just 20 to 30 minutes.  His coat is like bunny fur yet very long and only mats on his back.  It takes very little time to get him nice.  In between I do a lot of just massaging and snuggling so the process lasts an hour or so.  I try to keep it going at least 15 minutes past his relaxed point. 
    I have adopters wanting Cotton, but he would get less attention then he gets here.  He requires combing out at least an hour every other day.  It takes about 10 hours to get him totally de-matted and then the process starts all over.  By the time I finish, the end I started with has to be done again.  His coat is like Goofys'.  Also, Cotton had his lump removed.  I just got vet notes.  Rob was suppose to do it and call me.  The vet notes were by Wendy.  That is fine because Wendy is my second choice, but I should have been told there was a change or at least told after the fact instead of being ignored every time I asked for Rob to call me about what he found.  Even with the vet notes, I do not have a clue of an opinion.  I just could not afford a biopsy report.  I would not put him through cancer treatment anyway. 
      It is now 1:10 a.m.  Guess my stomach is done churning so will try to go back to sleep.  I really do need to consider moving my sewing machines up here and my computer desk out into the living room.  My WiFi is here though.  I'd have to have the cable moved.  Wonder if they charge?  Oh , but them it would not transmit to the shop for Tim to get netflix.  Maybe I could just set it on a shelf near where it is.  Yep, that would work. 
7/15:  For the first time in 6 weeks, I could actually eat a decent meal.  I'll skip the details, but there has been ongoing drama.  The drama is not over, but thanks to many fellow rescuers and their input and advise, I believe I have firm ground.   I sent out my situation to my whole rescue list and they in turn passed it to other rescues they knew.  The advise and support has been amazing. I have a lawyer and an expert witness on livestock guardian breeds willing to stand up for me. 
      This is the first hours I have had any motivation to do anything.  Thanks yous for donations are over due.  Dogs getting ready for transport is running behind.  Emails... oh, they have really stacked up.  And I have to get some collars done for people.  The webbing I previously failed to order came in today.  I've not opened the boxes, but she hope the dye lots are compatible with the terry cloth.  The colors I have are pretty iffy.  Making these collars is my relaxation.  Since I am having so many computer problems, I am tempted to just try to get everything onto that tiny screen laptop and turn the computer room into a sewing room.  that way when I can't sleep at night, I can sew.  Currently when I can't sleep, dogs get combed out, but many more nights like the last 6 weeks worth and the poor things may end up bald in spots.  And sitting on the floor spread Eagle is not good on the old back, butt or shoulders. 
    Gracie Lynn got to come up last night because there was one big roll of thunder.  No storm, but I didn't have the energy to throw on clothes to walk her back to her yard.  But this morning her and Chloe were into it again.  I don't know why as they both get along so well with everybody.  Even each other.  
    Took 4 dogs into the vet this morning.  1 rabies shot, 2 HW tests, 2 stitches out, one microchip in.  Was easier to take one at a time in the car then get the SUV out and crates in.  I'm all for easy even if it takes a lot more time.  I need to sit down with all the dog records and see who needs what.  That can be an evening thing for us gals on the 24th, and 25th when we have our second girl get together dog grooming party.  I suspect by then we will be having a new baby ohhh and ahhh party too.  Doctor said Nauna can deliver any day.  So sad she will not have family here.  I don't know her circumstance and I don't ask.  I've kind of adopted all 3 helpers.
   Been way too hot and humid to do any work on the porch.  Luckily we did not start a few days ago.  Yesterday a friend on FB posted the construction process of her metal roof construction.  I would have done it wrong. 
7/14: Craziness continues.  I think I have one problem solved and an even bigger one rears it's ugly head.  I just want to find a cave big enough for me and my fur kids.  Get rid of the phone.  Be near a creek for water and bathing. Cook on a camp fire.  Have supplies air dropped once a month.  Dig a hole for the potty needs.  But then at 70, I'd probably fall and break a hip and I'd eventually end up dog food.  Can there ever just be a normal life after rescue? 
7/13: Chipi was shaking her head so I went to clean her ears.  Blood!  Rushed to the vet.  Just a polyp (sp) that I must have broke with my finger.  Bad yeast infection.  Glad I buy Gentizol by the pint bottle. 
     It has been so hot!  Otis and what ever her name is.... ya, Harmony, were the only ones without AC so we shuffled dogs and got them into a yard with one.  Hopefully Harmony will not eat the knobs or cord.  I'm not even sure who is where now.  I just told Tim to figure it out.  Hopefully the new arrangement will be ok, what ever it may be. 
7/12 for a few minutes.  Just got done spending 4 hours on Pumpkin.  She too is lopsided.  I want to salvage as much coat as possible, but the side they lay on gets so much more matted.  I'll try to even her up but that is just about as likely as evening up the other wild ones. 
    Well, guess I wasted my efforts with an apology on my 'doubtful' blog comments of 7/8.  She is on a rampage.  Only one or 2 people would have assumed who I was referring to if she had not posted all over facebook.  Well, I really don't care.  She can continue to make a fool of herself.  I have better things to do then sit on facebook and read through everybodys pages.  I 'follow' about 6 people.  Her, not being one of them.  But I do read every comment people post on mine.  I squeeze it in while I eat breakfast and while I eat in the afternoon.  I have dog things to take care of the rest of the time.  Apparently Miss "I'm so special" either is super woman and has a clone, has a lot of people helping or would rather spend more time on facebook then interacting with her animals. 
    Midnight just approached.  I'm going to bed.  Sunup comes early and I have a long 'to do' list for tomorrow.
7/10:  Cotton had his lump removed.  The incision is HUGE!  I specified Rob to do it.  If he did, then it was necessary.  If the one I don't like did it, then I doubt it was.  She made a 6" incision for a spay so I don't want her touching my guys.  Anyway, he was glad to be home.  I wanted to leave him in the family room, but he wanted back in my bedroom.  Last night after his bath, he got on my bed!  I was thrilled when I went in there.  I was planning to sleep in the other room because of the storm and all the other guys needing comfort.  But I crawled in with Cotton and fell asleep petting him.  I woke up later to find he had gotten down, so I switched bedrooms. 
    My ghost has gone.  I miss him.  It was chaos, but I felt it was very important.  Maybe because of all the stress I am under forcing me to get back on track with my plan, he doesn't feel needed at the moment.  I almost want to go off track just to have him back.  I looked at a chart on "stages of grief" and I am at the bottom, the very bottom.  I guess I plummeted because I missed quite a few stages on the way down.....  I wonder if I could send my ghost to Texas to haunt the wicked witch?   He was really good at opening gates (doors) and letting animals out.
7/9:  Barely.   Fed up.  Fed up with people.  Fed up with computers.  Fed up with government.  Fed up with being harassed by a crazy people.  I am losing my mind...literally.  I can't remember the dogs names when I look at them.  I forget appointments.  I have to write myself notes (which I promptly lose.  If it were not for Tim, Colton and Nauna, I would close.  I can't do this mentally, emotionally, physically or financially.  I just realized I had closed the wild ones in.  They were having a disagreement so went to check.  Poor things were closed in since 4 p.m.  It is now 2 a.m.  I can't do this anymore.  Last night I cornered either Patty or Pumpkin.  Which ever was almost mat free but too many for me to have missed, but not enough to have not been worked on.  The escape took place before I could check the dew claws.  If they had been trimmed, it would have been the dog worked on the night before. 
    I am going to disconnect from my outside life.  This blog will be it.  Someone else can handle adopters.  Someone else can say "No, Ozark Dogs is not taking any in.  Period!"  The stress is destroying me.  The dogs keep me going.... but from now on, it will be just the old dogs that I will hug until their, or my, dying day. 
      Did not get back to sleep.  My knee is killing me.  It's the "good" knee.  Got to go pick up JoJo in a few minutes.  Wrote a complaint letter that I really don't want to send, but issues that have to be addressed.  But today I'm just going to go to the shop and hide behind the sewing machine.  I accomplished a lot there yesterday.  I really need to get over to the sewing factory and have them help me determine what machine I need.  My one is a 'home' version and I hate it.  I have been using factory machines for 53 years.  Using a home model is like trading in a corvette for a bicycle. 
7/8/:  One of THOSE days.  Running behind by 25 minutes.  Not at all like me.  Things just seemed to go in slow motion.  And when they weren't, it was a race.  A race to get goofy out the door before the pee and poop falls out.  I had forgotten and started cooking liver.  Liver they would not touch raw yesterday so not to waste, tried cooking it.  Then remembered Goofy.  Turned down the burner and raced out the door with him.  Goofy was taking his sweet time.  Worried about the food on the stove, although I do not have counter surfers.  Then remembered I had not told Tim not to feed JoJo because he was going in for neuter this morning. Tried to race Goofy up the back steps so I would pass Tim.  Goofy fell off!  I finally got his leg up and got him turned around.  By now, I was about in tears.  Got back to a huge puddle.  Either Zelda or Chloe protesting.  I had already put Gracie Lynn back in with Lakota.  Cleaned up.  Turned the burner back up.  Got the food bowls dished.  Went in the bedroom to go to the bathroom and saw the bedspread on the floor.  Picking it up, found a giant hole in it.  Chloe!!!  She was doing this with the table cloths and anything I laid on a chair.  Pulling off the bedspread never occurred to me.  The hole is in a place where I cannot patch it.  Actually there is nothing to patch it with anyway.  She ate the hole.  Not just a tear.   By now it is almost 8:00.  I usually have a dog in by 7:45.  8:30 is deadline.  It was just as fast to cut the liver, dump it into bowls and serve it as it would be to move everything to a safe place.  Some of the liver was tough so I had to separate it for the young ones and give the tender to the old ones.  It didn't matter.  They don't like cooked liver either!  Chloe dumped her bowl.  Goofy took Parkers bowl and left his full.  I guess Parker must have liked the liver.  Got the bowls out to the wild ones.  Grabbed the scanner, the micro-chip, the leash and car keys and was out the door.  Honked.  Tim got JoJo and we were at the vets by 8:29!  Came home to another puddle.
     EVENING:  Storm hit hard just after 4:00.  Getting ready to feed the dogs and swish, down came the rain.  I had left an empty bowl on the deck rail.  When I went to get it about half an hour later, it had 2" of rain in it.  It is a straight sided bowl so pretty accurate.  I ran to town.  Out of chocolate milk!!!  When I got home, the power was off.  I had thought about grabbing something to eat in town, but had some stuff thawed I planned to cook.  So much for that idea.  Since I could not get the car in the garage without disconnecting the opener, I drove back to town and got fast food.  By the time I got home, the power was back on.  Now I still have to cook up the chicken since it thawed last night.  Not in the mood.  It is eerily calm out.  I just want to go to bed....after a bath.... but sharing my tub with Parker is not likely, and him getting out is just as unlikely. 
7/4:  No fireworks but might be some tonight.  I think the rain and storm kind of put a damper on it.  The thunder and lightening out did any pyrotechnics.  I left Gracie Lyn in the house as knew she would get back in anyway. 
    I want to bed at 7 and slept to midnight.  Could not go back to sleep so took Cotton and Leslie for a walk.  The storm had passed and the sky was dotted with stars and a 7/8 th moon.   Freedom wanted to come with but he is still a ways from putting a leash on him.  When I got back, the others were picking on Carly.  They pick on her a lot.  So I picked her up and put her on the bed with me.  I got some kisses :-).  You know that 'sigh' when a dog relaxes. It is such a heartwarming thing.  I think this is the first time since coming here a week or so ago that she has truly relaxed.  She is such a precious little girl.  In looks, reminds me of Angel.  In personality (insecurity) is just like Sweetness.  Guess that is why I have a special fondness for this dog that lacks everything in the looks and size department. 
     This morning I put Gracie Lynn down with JoJo.  He came yesterday.  Looking out the window, I do not see them.  They are both escape artists so hopefully they are just in the dogs house.  I don't really want to know. 
      Nauna and Coltons apartment is just about finished.  Still needs some taping, texturing and paint.
7/1:  Well, as expected, the guy did not show up Sunday, as he said, to retrieve his dogs.  This leaves one very needy dog without a place to go.  I get madder and madder at people all the time.  But I can't blame the dogs.  Here is a real need but I have 6 dogs here I was conned into taking.  There was no 'need'.  People were just wanting to make their problem someone elses so they exaggerated or outright lied. 
6/24 @ 2:54 a.m.  I've been sleeping in the spare bedroom.  I use to hate that mattress but now I like the 30 + year old firmness.  My 13 year old mattress has sagged and no matter how I position myself, I get stiff.  I end up rolling into the 'canyons'.  And partly, also, because it is where Loren spent the last year of his life.  He hurt too much even for me to sit on the edge.  So now I snuggle into where he laid and feel a closeness I miss.  Lastly, because Pumpkin would always bark at me for being in "her" room.  The furry 6 (no longer the 'wild ones') have taken over my room.  It is literally like they have made it theirs.  Plenty of room and it is cool.  It is also shelter from rain.  Years of exposure and neglect, they have finally come around to be comfortable in their happy place.   I'm considering moving my clothes.  But if I have company, I need to be the one in with the furry 6 as they are not yet ready to let a stranger invade their room. 
     I really don't know how it happened but 2 new dogs.  One, Carly, is very plain.  Probably more lab then Pyr but very sweet.  Annissa is a beautiful young Pyr with an attitude.  She can be a snarky bitch.  And then I will be getting a boy from Louisiana.  He is big and old and will stay here.  He reminds me of Keeton.  Not sure what I will name him.  I guess I really should mention how many I've said 'no' to this week.... I have lost count.  I can say no.  Just wanted to let you all know.  Just not sure what drives the decision.  Certainly not common sense or I would not have Missy and Melonie...or Olif and TinTin.  
6/21:  Kayla is on her way to Chicago to her new home.  Getting so I miss every one that leaves even if they were not in the house pack.  She was such a loving girl.  Just loves cuddled.  I hope they give her lots of cuddles.   I just want every one to have a great life and forget they were here.  They are happy here, but they need more.  They need to feel special.
     ACs have arrived.  Will do some swapping out tomorrow and get the more appropriate sizes in each space.  Then cut some holes in the walls for the dogs areas that have none.  I'm on electrical level pay so won't really know what this summer has run with them all going.  Every time I turn one off or on, I think about the poor dogs tied outside with no AC or those in shelters that don't have AC.  There are so many rural shelters that are like hot houses in the summer and refrigerators in the winter.  Breaks my heart.  I can't fix for everyone so do the best I can for those here.  If I had a million dollars, I would spend it fixing poor community shelters so the dogs would be comfortable.  I know there are people out there with millions to donate because they have to the local HS who just squander the money.  I would make every penny count and see that dogs are not only saved, but comfortable during the wait for a forever home.  I should be getting tougher seeing all I see but I'm getting softer with age. 
6/19:  Blake (aka Alabama Blue) started limping yesterday.  Nauna came up to get him for his medicated bath and we noticed him holding the foot up.  I checked for debris in his pad and found a little.  But he still would not put the foot down. I was headed out to do some errands so I just had Nauna leave him alone in the family room and skip the bath.  She and Colton went to town with me so no one was home but the dogs.  We were gone about an hour and 20 minutes.  Upon return, I was locked out!  I never lock my doors.  And there is no way to turn dead bolts from outside without a key.  I tried the family room door.  Locked.  Front door.  Locked.  I went back around and came in the back yard through the sliding door.  No way that one can get locked.  Even the dead bolt from the kitchen into the family room was turned.  MY GHOST IS STILL HERE!  I absolutely do not believe that Blake hit the dead bolt in the family room just right.  That one of the dogs in the house managed to turn the front door dead bolt and another managed to turn the one into the family room all in a matter of a little over and hour and with such precision. 
   Once I got inside, I determined the ghost must have scared Blake.  I have left this dog alone in the house for 2 weeks now and he has been perfect.  Curtains were torn down.  Vertical blinds broken into shreds.  toenail gouge marks into the leather sofa (luckily none made holes).  And poor Blake was really limping now.  He could not even extend the leg.  We have a vet appointment for x-rays at 11:20 today.
   I had a very generous offer to foster the new Komondor mix dog I had coming in from OK. so after considering this ghost episode, I decided to take Susie up on it.  I won't get to meet this new girl, but right now, my life is over full. 
6/18: rain last night.  Had a room full again.  I love it, but it does get warm. 
    I am in a funk.  Looking for that cave.  I quit doing FB so basically I no longer exist.  I guess that is ok.  Only a few really matter and they will communicate in alternate ways. 
     Tim is still in jail.  He has lost more then he knows, but he will soon find out.  I will not tolerate DWIs and this is his second in lass then a year.   He just paid a $130+ for one month of insurance and $30+ for his car registration.   I'm sure his license will be suspended for a long time.  Guess if he needs to get to town, he will have to get a moped or a bike.  One more and he will be looking for a place to move to.  I am so disappointed.  Maybe experiencing the tough end of the world of rescue is too much for him.  Thank God Colton is here. 
6/17:  Chloe stayed in my room most of the afternoon through all night last night.
6/16:  Just got up off the floor after 2 1/2 hours of combing out Freedom.  He has been the most feral but he is really coming around.  I had to get him in a corner, but I got it done.  Every muscle in my back hurts.  BTW, I'm back to my 'routine:  close the dogs in. Go to bed early,.  Take a 3 to 4 hour nap.  Wake up around midnight.  Comb on a dog.  Go back to bed about 3 or 4 a.m. and hope I can go back to sleep. Either way, I'm back up at 6.
    Afternoon:  Went to town around 12:30.  Skies were clear. All inside doors were secure.  Cotton was on his side.  Before we got done in town, it started storming. Got home around 2 and my bedroom door, the spare bedroom door and the door to the family room were all open.   Parker was in my bathtub.  Chloe was beside the toilet.  Cotton had them both blocked in.  Several were in the family room.  Several in the spare bedroom.  Goofy was out in the garage.    My ghost has not left.  Maybe he escorted Fez over the Bridge and is back again to try to show me something.  Doors just do not open themselves and this is again, too many to call coincidence.
    Evening:  Goofy had a shot yesterday at the vets.  Not sure what it was, but never again!  I have been mopping and changing mattress covers since 3:00.  He tries so hard to get out the door.  At least before the shot, he made it 90% of the time.  Now it is ZERO!.  I have mopped 7 times in 2 1/2 hours.  I have changed 6 mattress covers and washed them... two at a time because of the spacing between accidents.  They stunk so bad, I didn't want to leave them sit.  I totally dread getting up tomorrow morning.  I really wanted to get Gracie Lynn, Auna and Chloe moved to a yard.  Gracie Lynn because of her peeing and Auna and Chloe deciding my furniture tastes good.  They have chewed on the brand new Sleigh toddler bed.  It WAS beautiful and perfect.  Now it is 'teeth distressed'.  It is mostly chewed on a round bar across the top and bottom.  I think with a little ingenuity, I can replace it with a closet rod painted gloss black.  I am not into matching stains and varnishing. 
6/15/15:  Had a great weekend with Candy, Kathleen, Lee Ann and Cecelia.  Worked on getting the dogs combed out. 
    Just before heading to bed last night, the computer crashed again.  I know it is something to do with Facebook so I changed my settings and posted notice if anyone wants me, go to my website for phone or email.  Luckily it did do a 'fix' and looks like everything is fine.
    Today sucks.  Too much to do.  New washer sounds like it is going to die.  Insurance way over charged me on my car.  I did not catch it last premium.  Paid $100 too much.  Got an appointment for Hercules but am switching to Goofy.  He struggles.  Not sure if we can improve since he is old.  Then have to take Lucky and TinTin to Sandra for grooming at 1:00. 
     Rained last night so had the wild 6, Hanna, Chipi, Gracie Lynn and Blake in my room.  It got warm!. 
6/9/15: Fez crossed the Rainbow Bridge at 8:30 this morning.  Taylor came out.  I like this vet more each time.  Tim wanted to be with Fez too.  I was not sure he would be able to handle it and I did not ask.  He just came in.  I've put Fez bowl, collar, walking collar and a patch of his hair away in "the" cabinet awaiting his ashes.  Some I just won't reuse.  Keeton, Bear and Fez.  When the time comes, I will set Goofy, Zelda, Sahara Parkers and Hennas'' aside.  For some reason I just expect Chipi to live forever. 
Evening:  Fez is not ding good.  He cannot get up. I don't know where Tim is.  They have been gone all afternoon.  Dawn and I had to carry Fez into the house. 122 pounds.  He cannot get up to go potty.  I know he has to go.  He tries and then just gives up.  I had to do all the feeding tonight.  They did not secure the gates as I had told them to.  I do not know what their problem is, but I am totally pissed.  If they were going to be gone, they should have told me.  I needed to know they were not going to be here to feed.   And I have no one to help me get Fez out.  Fez is dying and I am alone and I am angry and heartbroken that I can't make him comfortable. 

6/8/15: Fez is not doing well.  He could not get up yesterday.  I'm going to have Tim bring in carpet to spread across the tile so he can get traction.  I just hope Gracie Lynn does not pee all over it. 
     In the 90's yesterday.  Got to cut out holes in the smaller houses for AC and expand on one house so it can be used in 2 yards.  That is this mornings agenda.  I can't dwell on Fez or I will go crazy and accomplish nothing.  It is the way I cope.

6/4/15:  Things are just falling apart and I am emotionally crushed.  The Komondor coming from SLC nipped the transport person.  A Komondor breeder/farmer is going to take him.  The trainer assures me it was an 'attention' nip, not an aggressive nip.  I do not know the circumstances.  Dogs can be so misunderstood.  Maybe it was like a Hound kiss.  Hounds kiss with their teeth.  It is their way of saying "I love you".  Too many Hounds die because of this misunderstanding.  With this Komondor, it could be either way.  I do not know the dog.  I will never know the dog now unless I drive to their farm.
    And the Pyr from Alabama got out last night.  I thought it went over the fence, but it pulled the chain link apart and made a hole.  It could be 20 miles or more from here.  I am just sick.  I will probably never know what happens to him.  No micro-chip.  That was in the plan for today.  I did take pix last night.  Something just told me to not wait until this morning. 
    Think I will go get the chicken and brown rice for Jaden.  He leaves tomorrow and want to keep his tummy content.  I went to the grocery yesterday but forgot to put the 'dog needs' on my list.  Usually I forget my human needs and come home with just stuff for the dogs. 
5/31:  Up at 5 and went non-stop until 5.  Been trying to stay busy.  Althea came by yesterday and brought me a roast from one of her dad's steers.  I cooked it today. It was really good.  Somehow I missed her email back in November.  Kynzi got run over and died.  My heart is just broken.  She was a special girl.  Althea loved her and all her quirky ways so much.  I am just having a hard time wrapping my mind around it.  I just don't know how I didn't know. 
    We cleaned up the shop.  Still a little to go.  I moved a lot of the stuff I don't want onto a table.  I told Tim, Colton and Nauna to take what they wanted.  Some speakers, each picked a fishing pole.  Some odds and ends.  I set aside the stuff I have for Candy's school.  We moved all the dog stuff over to the other side so Colton and Nauna will have more room.  Sometime tomorrow, we will construct a door frame and set in the door on the inside.  I'll have to hire the part done where we are taking off the garage door and walling it up.  We could do it, but it will have to be done quickly, like in a day.  And we are just not capable of doing it ourselves that fast.  We set up a 24' x 24' yard for dogs off of it so Colton and Nauna will have several in their room.  Have the doggie door, regular door and window all ready.  Have the lumber too, but not the siding.  I might use the siding we got for the dog house, but I am not sure how to do window and door finishing.  Altheas husband will help with some of the wiring. 
    Olaf and TinTin were suppose to come today.  Guess it will be next weekend.  Suits me fine... hope they don't come at all.  Forty four!  The Komondor from SLC will be here Thursday.  He is Bear but will be Baron.  The Pyr from Alabama will be here Wednesday,  He is Blue.  He will be Blake.  Don't like changing their names, but already have a Blue here and No one gets to be Bear. Only one Bear and he was my special boy. 
   One of the train guys told me today that there were 2 dead Pyrs on the side of the road between Huntsville and Springdale.  I really did not need to know that.  My heart hurts.  I am just getting way to sensitive to all the sadness that goes on around me. 
5/30/15:  What a morning!  Rained most of the night.  I let everybody intermingle as Parker and Cotton are doing better.   Was up at 5 and cooked up hamburger for the dogs.  Made their casserole while my breakfast cake baked.  I do not multi task well.  I forgot to add the extra chocolate chips to the breakfast cake.  Got the oven turned off but forgot to take the cake out.      
   Daylight so time to grab up Goofy and Parker and get them out the door before Goofy's poop falls out.  Cotton wanted to go! It about gave me tears.  This is amazing.  Cotton wanting to go for a walk!  
      As usual, Gracie Lynn was over the fence before I even got to the driveway.  She has been hanging a lot closer each day.  Today being Saturday, I was not as concerned about her as no garbage trucks or school busses or idiots late for work. 
     By the time I was about 30 feet past the driveway, here comes Pumpkin, Leslie and Freedom!!  When Gracie Lynn went over the gate, she must have dislodged the chain.  It was standing wide open.  I practically drug Parker and Goofy back in the house.  Poor Goofy's feet were wet and when he stepped on the tile he just slid flat on his tummy.  That is also freaking me out.  But I had to get the wild ones back. I locked everyone in and re-opened the gate.  I ran down across the grass to try to get them turned around and back to the house.  I was not fast enough.  I banged on Tim's door yelling "I need help".  I went back to the road to see which way they were headed and then back to yell for Tim again.  Tim was coming out the door, one shoe on.  I told him the three were out and which way they were headed and grab leashes.  Not that I thought leashes would do any good, but just incase.  I went back and got the car.  I figured I could circle around and head them back to the house.  I barely got back down the road and they had Pumpkin on a leash.  She had gotten in a ditch (full of mud) and Tim had tackled her!  By now he had lost his shoe and dropped the other that he never did get around to putting on.  I got Pumpkin into the car and headed back to the house.  When I pulled in the driveway, Leslie was in the driveway.  She trusts me so I was able to get her to go in the yard.   I put her over on the closed side and re-opened the gate.  Unloaded Pumpkin.  Amazed that I could get her to walk.  Last time on leash, she refused to move.  She was more then ready to go home.  I got her back on the closed side and looked up and saw Freedom.  He was IN THE YARD!  He must have snuck through the gate when I was getting Pumpkin out of the car.  Freedom relys on Leslie and with her not out there in the field, he had to find her.  Got him over to the back side and closed that gate.  Secured the other gate and then let everyone out in the yard. 
     Went to look for Tim and Colton.  Picked up Tim's shoes out the the road.  They were still out in the field looking for Freedom.  The neighbors grass is really high so they had no way of knowing if Freedom was still out there (on 10 acres) or not.  I could hardly see Tim.  They finally saw me motioning.  I drove them back.  Tim could hardly walk.  Barefoot out in the field.  This was once forest so a lot of sticky weeds, broken tree twigs sticking up out of the ground.  Not foot friendly by any means. 
    The dogs breakfasts were still all sitting on the counter.  It was not yet even 7 a.m.  It is now 8:05 and all are fed.  I'll open the doors so they can intermingle and I'm ready for a nap! 
5/28/15:  Harmony got spayed Tuesday.  Missy and Melonie got spayed Wednesday.  Hercules had heart x-rays and Edison had an eye recheck also on Wednesday.  Picked up the 2 from the vet this morning.  Tim and Colton have been unavailable for 2 days so Nauna and I have been taking care of everybody on our own.  Things should be back to normal tomorrow.  Jaden's adopter will be here this weekend.  Olaf and TinTin will come Sunday.
5/23/15:  It has been a busy few days.  Sadie and Sabastian traveled to PA and their adopters loved them instantly.  They are amazing dogs.  Ivan got a great home and is adjusting really good.  So 3 down.... but Harmony, Bandit, Missy, Melonie, Chloe and Auna came in.  Possum went directly to a foster home but still part of Ozark Dogs.  So, if we do the math for every dog that goes, 3 come in....I don't particularly like "new" math.....  Two more are scheduled to come in.  
     Faith got adopted locally.  It is a kind of 'wait and see'.  She really hated to leave as she has been sleeping on the bed with Tim and became quite happy here.  But then they all do.  Sometimes I almost feel I should give even less attention and less good accommodations so they would be happier in their new homes.  But I just can't do that.  Some may be here years and it would not be right. 
     Providing them with a great place here does have it's disadvantages, as I just discovered.  A person thought theyr were 'helping a dog get out of a bad situation' but after seeing my place and the dog set up, they changed their mind, feeling they could not improve the dogs life by adopting it.  In some cases this might be true, but in those cases, they most likely would not be getting a dog from me.   I just cannot lower my standards.  I sometimes feel they are lower then I would like anyway. 
5/19/15:  5 a.m.  I did sleep good.  Dogs were quiet and it didn't even rain.  So much to do today.... this week... and things just keep getting added.  I am going to have to go take new pix of Sabastian and Sadie because I can't figure out how to get the ones I have off the laptop and over to this computer.  I bought a fricken $38 thumb drive and plug it in but I have not a clue how to move the pix to it.  Just spent the last hour getting more and more frustrated.  Windows 8 is horrible!  They expect people to all be techno nerds in their 20's.
     Ivan went to his new home Sunday.  Really nice young couple.  Heard from them when they got home but did not hear how the first night and day went.  Ivan is a good dog, so things should go well.
     Yesterday met a really nice man.  He was interviewing Trip for a friend in CA.  Then he saw Mint and fell in love with him.  Expecting 2 applications for the 2 dogs.  Hope it works out for them both.  
     Today: Dog walking from 7:45 to 8:45.  Get to Harrison to pick up a dog by 10:00.  Home by 11:20 to settle in dog before lunch with Brenda at 11:45.  Another dog arriving at 1:00 which Tim will have to settle in.  Somewhere before coming home, I have to get to the vet for the HC and to the bank to deposit another "personal" donation.  Only $5,000 short in Ozark Dogs account this month.  Lorens IRA is going fast.  Before I go to bed, have to get those pix taken of Sabastian and Sadie and get their travel folders ready.  It is also ivermectin day, but all the others are going to have to wait until the 21.  Measuring out for 42 dogs takes about 3 minutes per dog.  Then I still have not cooked up something to put it on.  They will not go for just yogurt.  Got to be meat.  Tim will have to give some baths.  Ticks are terrible.  Got to get wheels for the sprayer so Tim can mow and spray at the same time.
     One spay tomorrow.  Sadie and Sabastian on transport Thursday at 4 a.m.  Sandra Campbell is taking them to N. LR.  Emotionally, I can't handle it.  Have to get paperwork and contract together for new foster and get check off to him for vetting and microchip off for the dog.  Guy will be back to introduce his dog to Mint. 
    Three spays next week.  Hercules has an appointment with Rob.  I also need to get Edison in for eye check.  April is way overdue for stitches out. 
5/15/15:  FINALLY able to get into my web site.  Computer crashed on April 1 and lost all my programs.  Luckily all my files were backed up but getting programs back was a real trial.  We owned them.  I just could not read Lorens hand writing to fill in the licensing part to re-install them.  One program which I desperately needed had gone from an original $400 in 2003 to $1500!! and it was the SAME program, not an update.  There are still things coming up differently that I am struggling to learn.  I just never wrote down names of specific programs I used so not a clue what they were or where to get them.
    A lot has happened on the rescue front.  On my 70th birthday (May 1) I decided my goal is to be strictly a sanctuary rescue by my 71st birthday.  No more taking in healthy, adoptable dogs.  Just old and terminally ill that have been thrown out by owners.  The stress of caring for them is far less then the stress of wondering if I have made the right adopter choices.  At least I know when they die, they had a happy ending and they knew they were loved.
    With that positive plan in my head, all hell breaks loose on the rescue front.  It has become kind of my Grand Finale.  I'm at 40 dogs.  Three will be leaving.  Five are coming.  I have put people off for months and it is not right.  Not my responsibility, but when I make a promise, I do my best to keep it.  I do have things moving smoothly with Tim, Nauna and Colton here to help.  Without them, I would not be able to have more then the house dogs.  They have been such a Blessing.  Especially Tim.  He is amazing.  All the dogs love him except Gracie Lynn.  She will bite him every chance she gets.  I think she has this need to protect me from something even she does not understand.  Very weird, but then SHE is weird. 
     I will keep taking in Komondors.  The Komondor Club will help with placement.  There are always a waiting list for the breed.  And I adore their silliness. 
     Allergies really got me down for the past month.  Finally broke down and went to the doctor.  Got a steroid shot.  Still can't sleep.  Before because of sinus plugged up, now shot keeps me wide awake, but I can at least lay down rather then having to try to sleep sitting up.  I can sure understand how athletes get hooked on the stuff.  The next morning after the shot, I went out and dumped the fountain base Fez uses as a wading pool.  Full of water lift weight to tip it is about 80 pounds.  I always have to bucket it out before tipping it.  Well, just call me Arnoldina.  I picked that sucker up and dumped it like it was 10 pounds!  After I realized what I had just done, I'm thinking "Now that is some scary shit".  The weight lifting strength wore off and the head aches are gone.  Starting to have an allergy cough again, but I'll just go back to the Zurtec in the morning and Benadryl at night if I have to.  At 70, getting addicted should not be a concern, but it is.  I've lived this long because I have learned to 'live with whatever'.  Always avoided as many pills as I could.  All my favorite foods have, through the years, decided to hate me, so I am forced to eat healthier.... but darn, I miss a chocolate malt.  Can't even handle Haggan Dazz anymore.  I did buy some eagle brand and I do have an ice cream maker.  I am going to get ambitious one of these days and give it a try.  If I ever have to give up chocolate milk, I might as well just go on an IV! 
3/30:  Waiting for the chocolate chip breakfast cake to come out of the oven.  It will be lunch also since it will be done at 11:00.  I need to take a happy pill.  (anti-depressant).  Worried about Chandler and Sylvia making it safely to Florida.  Dave should be meeting up with the transport friends of the adopter right about now.   It will be a long, worrisome 2 days while they are on the road.  I worry about them in transport no matter who or what, but inexperienced ones really make me nervous. 
     I have less dogs (39 now) but less space.  Fights.  Dillon did not handle going back into the shop.  Spirit was also awful in the shop.  The new one, Otis will not be nice to any dog.  He drew blood from Spirit.  He is alone taking up a whole yard.  Tried moving Breeze back in with Jaden and April.  they were together all day yesterday.  Well, today was a different story.  April went after Breeze.  Maybe I should put April with Otis.... but neither have been fixed yet.  Appointments for after my daughter comes and goes.
    Dr. John will be coming Saturday.  Ivan should work well with him.  But Ivan is who Deidra wanted.  But I think Blue and Doc would be better for their family.  Of course, I was so sure Mint was perfect and he ended up just not adjusting.  I just pray that Sprite was 'saving the goat' when he brought it rather then saying "look what I'm having for lunch".  We just can't get in their heads.  Heck, we can't get into peoples heads either. 
     Amazing how quickly those happy pills work.......
  3/28/15:  41 dogs here plus Lacy.  Chandler and Sylvia leaving Monday.  Mint was returned.  Broke out the livingroom window to chase off that mean old garbage truck.  Sprite had a mini goat in his mouth.  Not sure if he was 'saving' it or had hurt it.  Adopters are in a 'wait and see'.  I really can't imagine him hurting one of his critters.  He was a goat dog all his life.  Have appointments for Kayla and April to be spayed.  Kayla came in heat.. UGH!  Trip keeps getting under the fence.  Gracie Lynn spent the night on the front lawn.  Hopefully we have her escape route blocked.  Think this is getting redundant.  Caught her on the roof.  Put a wire A-frame up there now.  Blue and Doc are back in the house.  Fez is none to happy.  This makes 17 in the house.  Lacy goes home tomorrow night.  Makes 16.  Once Chandler and Sylvia leave on Monday, I can shuffle and be at 14 in the house.  Of course, Sasha and Hercules are kind of 'in the house' being in the garage yard.  But saying 19 in the house is a stretch.  Some idiot wrote a report that there was a shortage of shelter dogs for adoption.  I think it has to be a puppy miller trying to justify buying from a "breeder".  Ain't going to work in my circles.  But then not everyone is as 'in the know' as we in rescue are.  .
3/9/15:  Life has not slowed down.  Last night Sprite ran away from his adopter and headed this way.  We are all just sick with worry.  I had a lot to do, but plan to stay by the phone.  Sadly, he is not approachable and slipped his collar so unless someone calls the sheriff, animal control or checks my FB page, he is just going to have to make it back on his own.  40 miles!!  My heart is aching so bad.  I guess I should have just let him stay here... but how did I know he loved it here so much. 
Saturday was a full day. Sasha has not been feeling good for about a week. Earliest appointment was next Tuesday, but Tim said she was freaking out so I took her in. I'm waiting and a lady comes in and sets on the same bench. I know this person. I want to disappear. I turned her down to adopt just weeks ago. There was no doubt she knew who I was. After what seemed like an eternity, I finally got called into a room. Saturdays are always pot luck on which vet I get. I did not get either of the ones that were there that I wanted, but I do really like the new one I did get. Possibly the staff filled her in that I'm an old timer at this. Anyway, all Sasha's blood work came back normal except for one slight elevation. It may be the heartworms. She is level 3 and slow kill may not be the way I can go. That took over 2 hours out of my morning.

Tim handled the return of Hawk. He settled back in to his previous yard with his previous partner, Thelma.

Then a wonderful approved adopter arrived. This was probably one of the most interesting days I have ever had. This delightful lady was interviewing for a therapy dog to use in her work. All the prospects blew it! One by one! Because they would be experiencing way more then the normal companion dog, I tried to give some environment changes. Breeze was totally a poop, getting really snarky with some of the other dogs. We moved down to the shop to interview Sasha, Faith, and Kayla. Sasha was perfect. It was almost a deal. Faith was a bit too independent. Kayla needs a lot of 'calming aide'. While the adopter set on the floor petting the dogs, one gentleman (who I will not name for fear he will now never get adopted) was not so gentlemanly and thought she was a tree. Yep, peed right down her back!!! I wanted to die! When you can laugh about a dog peeing down your back, you have got to be a true died in the wool dog person! (She got to go home in one of my T-shirts.) We moved Jaden. He was really good but I had not noticed a slight stiffness in his walk. He has only been here a week or so. We moved up to the family room and brought up Sasha to see how she would do in an unfamiliar environment. She passed the Hanna meet and greet test, but then she decided to MARK!!! She even attempted to hike! Down she went and up came Faith. There was just no connection. Faith is just to aloof. We tried Spirit. She is such an unknown but did quite well. I will bring her into the house pack this week and see how that works out. I will get to know her better. Sadly the adopter went home empty handed (except for my T-shirt smile emoticon ) but this is an important decision. Picking a dog for a job is much harder then picking a dog as a pet.

Then Hawks people returned to pick up Sprite. They needed a combination companion guardian. Hawk was said to have been a goat guardian, but obviously that was no longer the case. Thus his return. You can't lick you chops and look at the goats as dinner if you are suppose to guard them. He found one chicken to be particularly tasty too. Sprite is still not social. Seems easier to socialize a goat dog then to teach a social dog to guard livestock. Moving Sprite has been a battle so we tried a harness. It worked pretty good. Not near the death rolls as a collar lead. And then something beautiful happened. As the got down by the car, the husband bent down and was patting Sprite. He relaxed. The lady got in the back seat and Tim told Sprite "load up" and he jumped right into the back seat with her!! I got a lump in my throat. I truly hope this is meant to be. Last night Sprite chewed out of his yard but the husband was able to call him back and they went into the house. Now as long as he didn't eat the wood furniture (he's the one who ate my antique chair arm) then all should be good.

I wish that had been the final note of a very long day, but a situation scheduled for today had come apart. I realize there are many ways to tell the truth, but when things just start sending up red flags, it is time to bail. Another rescue is very angry at me. She says she is hurt and she probably is, but I was honest. I no longer trusted her and told her so. I put myself in the middle to help a dog. But when information is inconsistent and unverifiable and answers are just excuses, sometimes you just have to get out of it. She says another rescue stepped in. I truly hope that is the case.

So today I will be dog shuffling again to prepare for the 2 Pyrs from TN. I REALLY need some good companion adopters. I love placing dogs for jobs. It is so wonderful, but so much harder.

2/28:  So much in 13 days. Nauna is now Naini and living in Texas.  She will be "going to school" in New Mexico to become the man's balance dog.  She will learn to walk beside him for support and to pick up things he drops. 
   Roy is now Cowboy.  Got a great home just an hour from here.  He is doing good.  They are working on the counter surfing.
    Hawk went about an hour from here in a different direction.  He is suppose to hang out with the goats in the day and can come in at night.  But he has decided hanging out inside is much nicer.  They are hoping and working hard to make this work.  
   Breeze was going to have a great home, but she blew it.  Better now then before that lady took her.  Trash got knocked over and she got possessive of it against poor innocent Fez.  Lady wanted her as a specialty therapy dog plus she has a tiny, snarky dog.  So This just showed Breeze has a problem over spilled stuff.  Otherwise, no food aggression.  Weird. 
    Jaden arrived.  Olivia arrived from Kansas.  Sylvia and Chance are on their way here from Texas.  Soon Dakota and Blue will arrive from TN.   Montana (aka Mo) will come up from lower Arkansas as soon as weather clears.  Jack, a GSD will come from the same place as Montana but probably at separate times.  Jack will just got on to a home.  Long story on this boy. 
    I've lost count again.  I just fill the food bowels.  Know I am running out of room on the washer and dryer to stack them. 
    Dogs have been re-arranged several times.  Breeze is inside.  Gracie Lynn is out side.  I put Lakota with her and it seems to be working well.  Jaden gets along with everybody so he is with Trip and Thelma.  Olivia went in the shop with Tim and Dillon, Faith, Sasha, Louise and Lucky.  That was a 3 days process as did not want her overwhelmed with so many all at once.  Two empty yards (because most are in the house or shop) so I did not have to split any.... yet.  New arrivals tonight will go in the lower yard.  The 2 from TN will go next to the shop yard.  Montana...not sure. 
    Sharon from the vet office called to check on me on Wednesday.  I had forgotten Sprite and Jadens neuter appointments.  I remember making them, but did not even write them down.  So stressed.  I went to the doctor a few weeks ago.  Candy insisted I needed something to reduce my stress and help me sleep.  I only take one and not 2 as called for.  All these dogs are Candy's fault.  Without stress, I have become invincible!  You need a home for a Pyr or Komondor, sure, bring it on over!  It is a good thing I am only taking one 'happy pill' a day.  If I were taking 2, I would probably have committed to 12 dogs instead of just 6! 
2/15:  I finally got around to my "Dog of the Week" on Facebook.  I started with Breeze because she has been here the longest of the social ones.  She is so perfect that it is a shame she has not gotten adopted.  I got 2 messages asking how to go about adopting her.  Crossing my fingers that at least one is a great match. 
     Nauna came up last night.  She has not been in the house much. It only took her about an hour to decide I needed more protection on the bed.  Guess she thought Fez, Hanna and Chipi were not doing an adequate job.  She was a very good bed partner.  She did wake me up to go out to potty about 1 a.m.  I did not get around to teaching her the doggie door.  Thought the others would.  But everyone was settled in so she didn't know.  I had to go with her.  Brrrr! 
     This morning I made sure she understood the doggie door.  Weather really turned cold overnight.  Dogs get so hyper.  She had a great time playing with Gracie Lynn on the deck this morning.  Right now Fez is next to my legs and Nauna is right next to him.  Everyone in the house is asleep except me.
     Nauna had been outside sharing a yard with Louise and Trip.  Louise moved into the shop several weeks ago and now Nauna has an adopter that is a 'for sure' (I hope)  I moved Trip to the end yard where Roy was.  Roy is with Thelma in the yard where Hawk was.  Ivan and Layne are now together where Dillon and Faith were, before putting them back in the shop.  I have a mapping chart on the window with names on sticky paper so I can remember who is where.  I'm at 32 dogs.  Half inside and half either in the shop or in yards.  I really want down to 24 but until I get someone to pre-read my FB and email, I'll just keep taking ones no one else will. 
2/13:  Layne is a train wreck.  She came from animal control on Tuesday.  Hip problems, cyst on her tail, HW+, Ehrlicia + , old hematoma on her ear, and a chunk out of her tongue.  But she is a love.  She cries when she sees me and cries when I leave without her. 
     Ivan is on his way.  Clean bill of health.  Will be a companion dog.  He is very bad with livestock.  Hawk just left for a farm to guard 3 little goats.  They have cougar problems and his size alone should keep them at bay.  He will be a pet as well.
     Went to the doctor and got some meds to relieve stress and help me sleep.  Just the opposite.  Dogs were quiet and I was wide awake.   My back just hurts so bad and he just does not want to address it.  Someone suggested I seek out a sports medicine doctor so I plan to do that.  
2/7:  I helped my neighbor take her dog to the Humane Society today.  Family illness has left her unable to care for him.  I so wish I had room for a male as I would have taken him.  He originally came from the HS about 4 or 5 years ago.  He was so scared.  My heart just broke.  I wanted to cry.  I almost did.  Then I lost it in anger when this HS twit opened her mouth.  I ask if the manager had gotten a hold of her to tell her about the dog.  All she could say is "she is not here today".  I said that is not what I asked!  I tried to explain about his fear aggression that I had spoke with the manager about.  She acted like such an expert.  Then she opened her mouth again and she really hit my trigger button.  "He's so matted, we'll have to shave him".  Well, anyone who knows me, knows that is NEVER an option.  It is pure laziness.  So now we are headed for 2 strikes against this beautiful golden haired boy.  (1) Some idiot that will set him up to bite which means a death sentence (2) if we get lucky and he does not bite and they shave him, he won't get anyone even looking at him for 8 months until his coat grows out.  If that happens, he will have gone stir crazy and aggressive and be put down.  I am so upset!  This whole thing is just so wrong.
     Adopter came down to meet a dog she was approved for.  Sadly, she did not realize how big these guys are.  She fell in love but realized after seeing my place it would not be fair to have it confined in her small house with a small yard.  That had been a concern of mine, but she was so perfect otherwise. 
     So here I am, 3 p.m. is creeping up.  I have no netflix to watch tonight because my Ruko won't work (that is a very long, frustrating story) my mind is on that poor dog at the HS not having a clue why he is there and a dog here that really looked sad when the people drove away without it.  How do I stop my brain from dwelling on todays sadnesses? 
2/5:  So frustrated.  When I make a 'rule' I need to stick to it.  I would avoid a lot of stress.  It would cut down even more on adoptions, but might keep my brain and body healthier.  Spent several hours on an application.  Just got it 4 days ago.  I gave them an update and got a reply they had gotten another dog.  Another stressor:  Two applicants for the same dog.  One dropped out making the decision for me.  Now, in the process of trying to help (this is where I broke my "It is the adopters responsibility to get the dog" rule), I feel totally unappreciated because I didn't pull it off.  I realize unless a person is in the trenches, they really have no idea what is involved, but a little appreciation for effort would be nice.  And then of course there were the ones I turned down a few weeks ago that verbally came after me.  What part of 6' fence required and must have inside privileges do people not understand.  You don't make a member of your family sleep in the barn. 
     Now on a really sad note.  Perry's Orphans house burned to the ground yesterday.  There were many puppies inside.  Perry got burned trying to save them.  Do not know how many are ok and how many didn't make it.  Perry is 84.  He has been a strong animal advocate for more then the 10 years I have known him.  I know what he is going through mentally.  With his age, bad health and fading mind, I doubt he will ever be able to rebuild and rescue and place dogs again.  So very very sad.  When it is your life and it is taken away, you just have a hard time finding a reason to go on. 
2/1:  Just an uncomfortable feeling.  Had it all night.  Dave is heading to meet Monty's adopters.  Just saying a lot of prayers for all to go as planned.  We never know what the weather will do or some other guy on the road.
    Nauna will probably be leaving Thursday.  Another one making me nervous.  I'm depending on too many people.   I really appreciate all the help I get. 
   I have never been one to delegate.  I've always been one to do things myself.  If I need something made, I make it.  If I need something fixed, I fix it (except electrical or automotive).  If I need to get a dog moved, I drive it (or the adopter comes to me) I struggle with "what if's".  I also struggle with my own "what if's".  I prepare.  I fill up with gas when it reaches half a tank.  I buy groceries twice as soon as I really need to.  I hate being late.  I set several alarms and allow myself anywhere from 20 minutes extra to several hours extra, depending on the distance and need.   I plan everything, looking at all angles, all possibilities, all potential consequences, all possible outcomes.  And then run it over and over in my mind.  I even concentrate when I walk or drive, beyond normal.  Self preservation.   This is not good at my age.  Didn't matter when I was younger, but now it does.  Being alone is scary.  I've never been alone this long.  Mortality is a reality.  I just want to outlive my current dogs.  Most days I just push aside the pain and confusion and get away with it pretty good. 
     Tuesday we will make a 'quiet house' inside the shop.  I have been so worried about the ear shattering sound in the shop with rain on the metal roof.  It sounds like being locked in a room with a thousand man drum corp.  Dogs are terrified.  Shingling the roof over the metal is cost prohibited.  Putting in a ceiling with heavy insulation would help but still be louder then outside.  I have wrestled with ideas for 6 months.  So last night, since I rarely can sleep anyway, I had this great idea.  I will build a free standing 2 sided room inside the room.  4' high and 8' x 8'  with a small people door and a dog opening.  Insulate it with the thickest insulation I can get.  Wall it inside and out with sheetrock.  Plywood on the roof. No floor other then the shop floor.  Will be able to store the spare mattresses on top which will also cut down on noise.  Set it up against 2 existing walls with a plug in so I can put in a night light.  Even if I have to buy a few things like sheet rock, it won't be much.  I have so much lumber left that we can rip to size and only need to insulate the 2 walls and ceiling.   
1/31:  So far behind.  No end.  No rest.  Dog fights last night and this morning.  Last night was Patty and Cola.  Separated them.  Back together now.  Hope all is settled.  While I was at the store this morning, Fez, Parker and Zelda got into it.  At least those were the ones with blood.  Fez's ear is really bad.  Have an appointment Monday with Rob.  Was for Cotton, but now it will be Fez instead.  The ear is flowing blood and very sore with at least one big puncture wound.  Got him on antibiotics and pain meds right away.  Zelda won't touch a pill.  Can't find wounds on Parker, just blood which could be from the others.  Don't know how I will get meds in Patty and Cola.  Neither will eat alone nor while I watch.  No way taking anything from my hand.  Good thing they are tough dogs.
   Monty leaves with Dave tomorrow for KS.  Nauna leaves next Friday for NC.  Hopefully a friend will be able to transport to LR where a friend of a friend will take her onto NC since he is going anyway.  I wish Trip, Lakota and Roy would get homes.  They are in need more then the others right now.   I was going to take a bunch of a 30+ in a hoarding situation, but I am re-thinking this.  With all this fighting, I need manageable numbers and be able to keep 2 yards empty for emergencies.  If the house fighting continues, I'll have to put Fez on the back side so he will have safety.  That means moving the wild ones.  I'll be putting Cotton and Cola with Tim when Monty leaves.  I just don't want to lose the progress it has taken over a year to make with Leslie, Patty, Pumpkin and Freedom.  They need to be at the house. 
    I want to do more but I can't even manage what I have.  I'll be down to 29.  I just can't go back up in numbers again while my old sanctuary guys need me.  Goofy and Parker can't hold their poop.  Zelda is deliberately peeing on the floor out of protest for lack of attention.  Others are peeing inside too.  This has just never happened before.  This pack was doing great and just since Goofy started having trouble, they all seem to think inside pottying is ok.
1/12: Sometimes I get so disheartened. People disappoint me.
    I worked on my taxes today.  I put in $34,000 out of pocket this year. This does not even include all the heat and AC I pour into their houses or the building of 3 of those houses.  I took in $13,300 in donations and adoptions.  If it had not been for the $5000 from one person, it would have been even worse for me.  I'm not going to last through summer if the scale does not tip the complete opposite. 
    Tried bringing Roy and Louise back into a closer yard since Wilson is gone.  Roy started fence fighting.  Trip ate the heater cord.  Now the location for each is all messed up.  Not only out a heater until we can get a plug, but still one lone male.  I need Roy, Trip, Hawk or Lakota adopted to balance.  Dillon is fine with his harem of 3 girls in the shop and they are happy to be Tim's bed partners.  I'd bring Louise in but then I'd have 2 guys alone.  Just can't bring in another male, at least none of those.  Monty may be an option.  May try that tomorrow.  If Gracie Lynn would stay put outside, I'd be balanced.
1/11: Everything is froze and a light rain is adding to the slickness.  Colton fed the outside dogs because Tim works weekends.  I have not seen him come in.  I hope he parked in the garage and is there.  I would go check, but just not safe to walk.  Hopefully it will thaw just a bit as I really need to get a big tub in Lakota's yard for water.  He and Breeze keep dumping the ice chests and have chewed the handles off of both.  Everybody has to have water.  They can't tip a tub.  Of course, I have no idea how we will fill it since all outside faucets are froze.
     Wilson is doing great.  I just called to see how the first night went.  Victor slept on the kitchen floor with him!  I do pick good adopters! 
1/10:  Wilson left for his forever home.  I wish I had brought him in the house all along.  But by not doing so, he will bond tighter with them.  Such a sweet giant. 
1/8: Sprite cried all night so I put Spirit with him. She went to the vet yesterday and is doing great.  Pelvis is 90% and will reach 100% in time.  Amazing to both the vet and I, the leg has slipped back into the hip socket!!!   Now she will need just one hip replacement.  This has eliminated any HFO's. 
     Last nights rundown:
     10:00.p.m. I have been trying to get to sleep since 7:00. I only get snippits of sleep so try to catch what I can when I can. Not happening tonight. Gracie Lynn showed up at the door around 9:00. Sprite is down there crying so I was fearful he would be determined to get out since she did. (who knows how, it's Fort Knox). So after listening for half an hour to his crying, I take Spirit down to join him, only to not find him. Looked in his house, the igloos, every dark c...orner. Then there he was in the next yard with Wilson and Trip, so took her back up. .....
      10:17. Another trip down. Trip was tearing up the fence between the 2 yards. Only from the window in the dark I thought it was Sprite. Leashed up Spirit again and off we went. Skunk! Didn't see it but smelled it. I hope it was not IN that yard! Spirit would not go back to where he belonged so every body did a dosie doe and in the opposite yards. Hopefull I won't be dealing with skunked dogs in the morning. I would hate if Wilson goes to his new home smelling odorous. It is obviously still out there as the dogs are all going ballistic. I just want to SLEEP!!!
    10:27 earplugs and aspirin. 
4:16 a.m. Been outside twice since 10:30. It is F#*kn cold! Trip is now in the house. Wilson is confused. I tried to get him into the house but he got scared of all the barking. Tried to get him in the shop, but those 5 came to greet him. Tried back to the house. Nope. So now I am sitting here watching out the window to be sure he does not get out. Good thing he is white. I do not know how Trip got out and too dark to really see even with lights. I don't want Wilson out too. The house is getting very crowded again but better the whole damn bunch inside then escaped and out without heat. Thank God Tim & Colton will be able to fix the escape routes in the morning. I'll stay up to feed and then to sleep!
1/7: Sprite and Roy fence fought almost all night so at least I knew he was still in. Added another tarp this morning so no 'peek holes' for them to see each other. It was Roy defending his territory against an intruder so I don't blame Sprite. It was nice to be able to have the house back to normal. Fifteen content in their spots. But did not last long.  Gracie Lynn over the fence again.  No idea how.  So she is in the house to stay.  Not by my choice but by hers. 
Something about -2 with wind chill factor tonight. Luckily I picked up the plug to fix the heater cord the dogs chewed. Only had one yard left unheated and that was where Gracie Lynn and Sprite are. So heater is fixed, extension cord run up and under the building so they can't get to it and all ready getting warm for them. Had to move a few dog pairs around so Fraz and Emo would have the heat option. They don't like the small dog house (4' x 8') so now they can go in the... doggie duplex which they really liked before.
       Wilson has some great adopters so he will be leaving Saturday. This will free up a yard since Tim took Snow into the shop with him. It is a relief to have an open yard. I worry so much that if there is a fight or someone needs to recover (like Spirit), I will not have an option. I have to have that open yard for emergencies. Now I think I am set. But 34 dogs still here and I wanted to be at 24 for the winter. .
1/6:  Tim caught Sprite and got him out of the house kicking, screaming, doing death rolls and trying to bite the leash in two. Luckily he got him down to the yard where Gracie Lynn went a few days ago. It is a secure yard but just to be sure, Tim and Colton and I double fenced it!!! We zip tied another fence inside the chain link so if he chews through, he will have to go through 2 layers of fence. I hated to move him, but he was fighting with Freedom and I have not been able to let everyone have full run of the place. I'm praying for a peaceful night. I know the wild ones will be so happy to sleep beside my bed again. Down to 15 in the house. It feels so nice!!! Going to bed and enjoy a room full (and bed full) of dogs with hopefully no friction.
1/5: OK, I'm catching a bit of the rudeness virus that must be going around. I just had a call that someone was looking for a companion for their male Pyr mix and they had been looking for a long time. Her: "Do I have any that are not spayed?" Me: "I won't let a dog go out unaltered. There are probably 1000 Pyrs in the USA right now who need adoptive homes or are facing death because of over population". Her: "Oh yes, I know, that is why I want to save one." Me: "but unsprayed, you would only be adding to the problem." Her: "Thank you for your time" At least she didn't hang up on me.  I want to save a dog so I can make more unwanted dogs. Really? 
1/4: Facebook people getting 'after the holidays nasty'.  Someone insinuated I am stupid. Telling me everything I am doing wrong.   They have not a clue until they have come here and walked in my shoes for a week. Suggestions are welcome and appreciated from those who know me or have followed me for some time. For those who jump in when they have not a clue who I am or anything about my rescue and dogs, they can keep their stupid comments to themselves.  I was told I should 'child proof my house against the dogs. That I should not have antique furniture or breakables.  Well, since the furniture has been here long before the rescue, I guess they are suggesting I should have sold everything before I got dogs.  OK, adopters, if you want a dog, you will have to sell all your comfortable and nice things and buy junk from a thrift store and sleep on the floor.  Geeze!  Just how stupid can people be to suggest people with dogs should not have nice things?
1/3:  Sprite destroyed one of my antique captains chairs to my dining room set.  He has also chewed the arms on the other chair and on the toddler bed. Gracie Lynn had a field day with 2 rolls of paper towels.  I was only gone an hour and a half.
1/2: Snow has a broken bone in her foot.  Looks like she was stepped on. Vet said best to let it heal on it's own.
1/1: Snow is here. Not the wet stuff, just the white fluffy kind. Committed to her over 3 months ago but found out she was pregnant. I don't do puppies but a wonderful lady does, so now the pups are weaned and momma is here. She hurt her leg just before arrival and with the vet closing before she got here and the holiday, we will be going in tomorrow to see what is wrong. I was hoping she would be walking better today, but she is not putting it down at all now. Probably be looking at a torn tendon and surgery!!! UGH! But she is worth it. She is so sweet. Hate that she is alone but can't risk further injury to her. .
     Gracie Lynn just got put back in a yard after jumping the fence a few days ago. Less then the time it took to walk to the house, she was out. Now she won't even come into the house because she does not trust me. This yard is fenced like they do security fencing at businesses with the 45 degree angle coming in almost 2' at the top. It worked until someone fired off a gun a few days ago and she freaked. Now she knows she can get out. She is a good dog, but she hates Tim. He must remind her of someone from her past. No matter how hard he tries to be friends with her, not going to happen. All the other dogs love him, some more then they like me. I just can't keep this up emotionally.